Beautiful Broken Mess (36 page)

She nods her head and softly says, “I’m glad to hear that. But you need to remember that she’s never known a relationship like that. I’m done stressing you out. She’ll kill me for saying something, but I figured you didn’t even notice.”

“Because I’ve been at the office every single day,” I grumble.

“You need to at least have some rest days every week, Jace, or even
you
will burn out,” Cole adds in. “What happens when you have a kid? Are you going to be
that
dad that’s never around? I
had
that dad, and trust me, it sucked. Your dad took time away, you can too.”

He has a point. My dad was home every day by dinner and all day during the weekends. I’ll never forget the time he spent with us, building the Camaro with Jax and hitting the heavy bag with me in the barn. I look down at a now-sleeping Chloe and realize I can’t become the guy I’m on track to become. I want to hear about Audrey’s day over dinner, not a sleepy, half-awake conversation late at night. I want to wake up next to her on Saturday and Sunday mornings and be able to share the day with her.

“I’ll fix this,” I inform them, “and she doesn’t need to go work for some random company. She can work at the office with me if she really wants to get a job.”

“I knew you’d be reasonable about this,” Quinn responds, while patting my leg. “But if I know Audrey, she’s not going to take some pity job from you. She earned a graduate degree. Let her be an adult, Jace.”

“I need to see my fiancé.” I kiss each of Chloe’s cheeks and stand slowly to walk her back over to her bassinet.

“Dude, seriously. Go make your own baby. This one is mine,” Cole whines, while transferring his daughter to his arms. He looks down at her with awe and wonder, like he’s done since the day she was born. He sits down on the couch and lays her little head on his chest. Yeah, she’s got him wrapped around her finger.

“I plan to,” I say, making my retreat. “Love you guys.”

I hear their responses when I hit the first step of our large staircase. I take them two at a time until I reach the double doors that lead into our master suite. The knob turns slowly in my hands and I slip inside quietly. The bathroom light, which she leaves on for me every night, shines across her naked backside. The fact that she has to leave a light on for me should have been my first clue I’ve been coming home too late.

I walk into my closet and discard my suit, leaving only my briefs on. Out of curiosity, I walk over and glance into Audrey’s closet, where Quinn’s observations are confirmed. It’s a giant, empty space with three suitcases lying on the floor. There are empty, wooden hangers lining the bars, and at the very back is a big, white bag that holds her wedding gown. My fingers itch to unzip it and peek inside. I’m dying to know what she plans on wearing, but I hold back the urge, not wanting to ruin her surprise.

I can’t wait for her to have my last name and someday soon carry my children. I stand in her empty closet and think back on the day she finally told me what happened with her pregnancy in high school. My jaw clenches at the murderous anger I have to suppress when I flash back to those thoughts. Since we’ve been back in Texas, I’ve tried to pay a visit to her dear ol’ dad, but apparently he’s been gone for a few years now. I’ll find him though, and when I do it won’t be pretty.

I shake off the thoughts and quietly shuffle across the wood floor to our bed. Softly, I kneel on the bed beside Audrey’s stunning body. She’s lying on her stomach with her face turned away from me and her pillows pushed to the side. Her soft breaths move her back up and down. I take advantage of the position and reach into the nightstand. I hold the bottle of massage oil above her back and drizzle a line down her spine. When the liquid hits her skin, her eyes shoot open and she fidgets. I reach out and hold her in place.

“Shh...it’s just me. Relax, gorgeous,” I whisper into her ear. When she hears my voice, I feel her body loosen and begin to respond to my touch. She doesn’t sleep as deeply as she used to, probably because I’m waking her up almost every night.

“Sorry, I fell asleep early,” she mumbles with a sleepy voice. I spread the oil around and slowly start massaging her muscles. With deep, long pushes, I rub out her tension and soreness.

I signed her up for a pretty intense self-defense class by one of my buddies who just got out of the Marines. He got all of his licenses and now runs a class. This isn’t some basic class run by an off-duty police officer. It’s extreme and tough. I wanted to go to the class with her but it slipped my mind, and I hate that she had to go alone.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry I’ve been working so much. I’m going to change that, I promise,” I say quietly. With the oil still thick on her back, she lifts up and looks at me questioningly. “I know you’re lonely, Audrey. I haven’t been taking care of you and I’m sorry.”

“Why are you saying this, Jace? What happened?” she asks, while nervously fidgeting her fingers. I unwind them slowly and run my hands up her arms, leaving a slick trail in their path. I can’t help but look at her bare chest on the way up to her eyes.

“I want you to move in with me. I want to live with you. I want to live where you’re going to be the happiest and if that’s not here, I’ll fix that,” I plead.

She looks at me with confusion for a few beats, and then says, “You’re scaring me. What do you mean ‘move in’? Haven’t I been living here with you?”

“Have you?” I ask. “Audrey, you haven’t unpacked your clothes and Quinn said you don’t touch anything in the house,” I say softly. Her body appears to deflate, and I can see her wheels begin spinning with what she should or should not say. If I could go a few rounds in the ring with myself right now, I would. How did I not notice this? I’m supposed to protect and care for her, not just provide for her. I promised to keep her first and in a way I thought I was by making sure she didn’t want for anything, but I didn’t take into account that most of all she just wants me. Not all this stuff I can buy her. Just me.

“Jace...” she sighs and looks up into my eyes. “I’m trying. I’m trying to beat these demons but...it’s a process. It took me a year to unpack my stuff when I moved in with Lane. You have to realize what my life was like. Before California, I had to hide all of my belongings in a backpack that I kept shoved under a couch. I’ve never felt like any place was actually mine. This house...” she pauses and seems to consider her next words carefully.

I finish for her by saying, “I made the plans for this house, and I had it filled with furniture before we moved in. I haven’t let you make it yours. I thought I was helping the transition process, but I never considered how that would affect you.”

“Jace, it’ll be okay. I love this house. It’s just going to take me some time to grow into it. I need you to know that I don’t want to be anywhere else than in your house with you,” she whispers.

“That’s the thing though, this is your house too, babe. Your name is on the deed right beside mine. I’ll make this right,” I assure her.

“I’ll try to unpack. That closet is just way too big though. Every time I open it, I’m intimidated. I yelled in it the other day and I could hear my own echo,” she says in an awed tone.

“Move into mine, with me. Once you actually start buying clothes like other girls do, you’ll probably fill yours up and take over mine anyway,” I chuckle.

She gasps and says, “I could never have that much.”

“And that’s why I love you so much,” I say, smiling at her innocence. I scoop her up into my arms and stride toward the bathroom. She squeals with laughter when my hands slip and slide from the oil that’s smeared across her body. When we reach the glass shower, I reach in and turn it to a warm temperature, just how she likes it. With my girl in my arms, I carry her inside the soothing spray.

Audrey –

Em, Quinn, Josie, and I had an early breakfast and nail appointment, so I snuck out of our bedroom without waking up Jace this morning. I can’t even remember the last time I woke up before he did. He’s usually out of the house before I even open my eyes every morning. He was sleeping so peacefully beside me, I didn’t have the heart to wake him up for a good-bye.

With a wave, Quinn and I step out of Em’s car and make our way up the front porch steps. If what Jace said last night is true, then I’ll get to spend the whole day with him and I couldn’t be more excited.

“Jace has to be exhausted after being up all night,” Quinn says from right beside me.

I stop and turn to face her, asking, “What do you mean? He didn’t get home that late last night.”

She looks at me, appearing unsure if she should say what she was just thinking. “Um...I had to get up with Chloe a couple times last night and each time I saw Jace pacing the halls while talking on his cell phone.”

“Huh...” I reply, because I have no idea what he was up doing. I thought he had passed out next to me after our long shower together.

I push open the front door and step inside the house. After the first couple of feet, I realize my boot heels are creating an unfamiliar echo throughout the foyer. When I gaze around the house, I realize it’s empty. Completely empty.

“What the hell?” Quinn questions.

“How long where we gone?!” I ask in a panicked tone. “Jace!” I cry out into the vacant house.

About ten feet from the front door, I find a white piece of paper lying on the floor. I crouch down to scoop it up and recognize the small handwriting that flows across the page in black ink.

Dear Audrey,

There are furniture magazines in the kitchen. Circle what you want and Josie will have it all ordered and here before you return from your honeymoon. Fill me with furniture. Make me your own.

Love, Your House

P.S. Don’t be mad at your soon-to-be husband. He loves you more than anything in the world and just wants you to feel at home.

I smile at his quirky, yet sweet note. I should be mad at him for doing this the day before my wedding, but I just can’t bring myself to find anger anywhere inside me. This is the new side of Jace I’ve learned to love. He tries to fix any problems between us immediately. After we realized how stupid we’ve been wasting so much time apart when we could have just talked out our issues, he won’t let a second of misunderstanding pass without trying to resolve it.

“Me and my big mouth...” Quinn grumbles, reading the note over my shoulder.

“Do you hate me?” Jace’s voice calls out from upstairs, and I look up to see his handsome face peeking around the corner.

I run up the stairs toward him and launch myself into his arms. “You big idiot, you have more money than sense!” I say into his neck, hoping that my words come off gentler than they sound.

“I want you to be happy in our home,” he whispers into my ear, while pulling me into his arms tighter.

“As long as it’s
ours
, I’m happy. I don’t ever want you to think otherwise,” I say, kissing a line along his neck.

A throat clears from behind us and we both turn to see Quinn stomping her foot in clear frustration. Jace chuckles under his breath before Quinn says, “And where exactly is my family?”

“Sorry, Quinny. I had to move you guys to Jax and Em’s house. But you’ll come back when the new furniture gets here,” Jace explains.

“Well, if we’re already over there, we should just stay until our house is done,” she replies.

“No!” Jace and I say in unison.

When she gives us both a puzzled look, Jace says, “I want to see my baby as much as I possibly can before you guys have to move into your home. I’m gonna miss her.”

When he juts out his plump bottom lip in a ridiculous pout, my heart beats faster at the idea of Jace being a dad someday. I know without a doubt, he’ll be the best there has ever been.

~~~~~~~~~~

That night after our rehearsal dinner, we all crowd in through Em and Jaxon’s front door. Chloe is spending the night at her grandparents’ house so that Cole and Quinn can stay out late tonight. Jaxon leads us all to his back porch where we can have a few more drinks and talk late into the night.

“Mom, you can’t be mad at me forever,” Jaxon complains, while trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yes, I can. Jace is my good son, having a nice, respectable wedding. But you! Not once, but twice now you’ve run away to elope!”

“Mom, it’s been almost a year,” Jaxon pleads. “How come you aren’t mad at Em? She was there too, you know.”

Em immediately whacks him in the stomach and says, “Thanks, traitor!”

“Because I know you tricked her into it somehow. I only have you to blame,” Julie argues. This is an ongoing dispute between the two of them. We all know that Julie was over the moon when she found out Em was officially a Riley and honestly, I wasn’t surprised to hear those two snuck off to Vegas. But his mom still likes to give him hell anytime there is wedding talk.

Cole and Quinn had a massive wedding right after she gave birth to Chloe this summer, with all of his father’s political friends in attendance. It was more of a show-off affair for his dad’s campaign and less about them, but we all had fun anyway. Jace and I are the next ones in our little group to get married, and I can’t wait to finally ditch my father’s name and lovingly add Riley in its place.