Beats (15 page)

Dropping to the carpet, Rax and Toombs flank me. They dip into the feast too. A finger wriggles into my worn out ass. I don’t even know whose it is. Toombs ladles a tongue full of cum and sears a wet line down my neck to my nipple. He bites the piercing. I could die.

I slide to the floor behind the drum kit, legs flopped wide open. Rax parts my pussy with his tongue. Toombs shoves his deflating dick into my mouth. I groan around it and nibble playfully.

“Ah, Jinx. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Rax breathes against my clit and tugs the metal stud through the hood with his teeth. “You just made me the happiest man on the planet.”

I stare into Toombs’s sated eyes as I suck out the last few droplets of his lust. I nip up and down his length, gumming the beads under his skin, teasing the stud at the end with my teeth. Tension bleeds from his features. He sweeps my cheek. I’m pretty sure in this fleeting moment, he loves me—if only temporarily—as much as I love him.

Rax’s tongue slithers the length of my slit. I grab his head, stroke his long locks. The three of us are one. A writhing ball of licking, sucking, fondling, groping humanity.

I am indeed lost.

I kiss Toombs while Rax laps at my pussy.

Thunder rolls, bringing with it the gift of another orgasm. Toombs’s eyes and lips and hands guide my spirit to an emotional pinnacle while Rax steers my bodily senses toward the peak of the pleasure wave. I embrace them both.

This climax is less physically intense than the one Toombs gave me earlier, but no less memorable. Riding on the heels of the drum scene, it’s one that’ll be permanently etched in the annals of my mind.

Rax’s finger in my ass slows to an agonizing crawl. I press my studded nipples into Toombs’s chest and sigh heavily as the last surge of sexual bliss ebbs away.

I’m in love with one of these men and in lust with the other.

Unfortunately, I can’t have Toombs without Rax.

Ultimatums

The three of us lie in a pile of recovering orgasms beside the drum set for a long time. No one speaks. What the hell can you say after sex like that?

When I finally sit up, I’m self-conscious. Not sure why since I’ve shown Toombs and Rax way more than my gynecologist sees at my yearly exams. It’s not like there’s any room for shame between us, yet I wear it like a dirty cloak in serious need of washing.

Which reminds me…

I look down at myself. Dry white lines from last night transect my belly. A face pat reveals crust on my chin. I’m guessing Toombs’s snare drum could use a quick hose down too, but I’ll leave that to him. On second thought, I’m pretty sure between the three of us, we cleaned the head pretty well.

Another wave of embarrassment rolls down, coloring my skin red.

Dear. God.

I stand. Rax lifts his head. “Where are you going?”

I poke a thumb toward the door. “I need a shower.”

Toombs follows me with his eyes but doesn’t move otherwise. Rax’s hand rests on Toombs’s limp dick.

“You want company?” All traces of teasing have left Rax’s voice. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he almost sounds genuine. Maybe even concerned. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him exhibit an iota of care for anyone but himself. What’s this about?

“No, thanks.”
Keep your slimy tentacles to yourself.
I zip off to the bathroom before he has a chance to reply.

While cleaning up under the soothing spray, there’s plenty of time to ponder how I’ve royally screwed both my job and any chances of getting with Toombs on a more intimate level than pure sex. No matter how much we all agreed this was a one-time fling, Killer Buzz Float will never be the same now that I’ve slept with two of my bandmates. How could it be?

And worse, where the hell do I stand with Toombs? The sex with Rax was unbelievable, but he’s not the one I want. How do I get Toombs away from controlling, domineering, overbearing Rax? Does Toombs even
want
to get away?

Good question. Judging by the way Toombs lowers his head like a beaten puppy every time Rax so much as looks at him, I’m guessing their relationship is like some of the abusive ones I’ve witnessed before. The Dominant controls everything. The submissive does what he’s told because he—

That’s not fair, Jinx.

True. I mentally cuff myself on the head. I’ve
got
to stop thinking this way. Just because I don’t understand Dominance and submission doesn’t give me the right to look down on those who choose that lifestyle. There are probably loads of factors at play here that I know nothing about.

It’s pretty obvious Toombs has a great deal of admiration for Rax, and yes, love too. That part hurts the most, but I’ll respect their arrangement—whatever it is. I’m the outsider here. They’ve known each other for most of their lives. Ties like that don’t break. Not easily, at least.

With a sigh, I throw back the shower curtain and towel off. I should get out of here. Leave Toombs and Rax to their own devices for the rest of the day and tonight. Maybe a walk will clear my head. I
really
need to get my brain moving on some new rhythms for the album. Only a few days left.

Toombs brought his drums. Does he really think I won’t pull through for the band? He always looks down his nose at me during rehearsals. Judging. Intimidating. Scrutinizing. I wonder if his opinion will change after our romp.

No, regardless of what he thinks of me personally, on the professional front, Toombs doesn’t believe in me any more than I believe in myself. Bringing the drums here was his back-up plan. Maybe Jillian put him up to it. That would be just like her.

The sad thing is, I can’t even be angry at them. Lots of anger at myself, though.

Torn between logic and emotion, I exit the foggy bathroom, steam billowing in my wake. Rax sits on the edge of the big bed, clothed. His long waves are damp, his blue eyes centered on me. He stands and ambles my way. The tinkles of water hitting tile from the second bathroom tell me Toombs must be showering in there.

Avoiding Rax’s gaze, I make for the other room to search for my bag. He intercepts me, grasping my elbows, and leans in for a whiff. Eyes closed, he smiles, and then opens them. Why couldn’t he be butt-ugly?

“Now that I know your scent, I could pick you out of a room full of people blindfolded. God, you’re sweet, Jinx.”

I break free of his gaze but not his grip. “This never happened. Remember?”

He shakes his head. “How about we make it happen again? And again? And again?”

“Not good for the band.”

He lifts a brow. “But damn good for me.”

“What about Toombs? Does his opinion matter?”

“His opinion is mine. On every subject, especially the subject of you.”

And I’m back to hating Rax.
He
is why it will never work with Toombs and me. I’ve made a huge mistake.

This is such bullshit. “I’m out of here.” I shove Rax aside and break for the bag I spot on the floor near the door.

Rax sighs heavily behind me, and the couch hisses as he drops into its cushions.

I will not turn around. I will not.

“Goddamn it, I…I like you, Jinx.”

Shit. I close my eyes. Pause for a few seconds. I turn even though I swore I wouldn’t. “You don’t know me.”

“I
want
to know you.” He stands and paces.

“Why? I’m not like Toombs. You can’t boss me around, telling me what I can or can’t do.”

He rubs the angry purple splotch I left under his eye last night. “Exactly why I want you so fucking bad.”

Wants me? Oh hell, no. “You want the sex. We did that. Over. Done. Wham bam, thank you, ma’am. I’m ready to go back to being the drummer for this band. Not Rax’s and Toombs’s bandmate with privileges.”

He shoots forward into my personal space. “But it won’t be normal again, will it? Because you want Toombs. And maybe me too. Just a little.”

I lift my chin in an attempt to appear defiant, but his words ring true. Why am I so sexually attracted to him? Shit, even as I’m staring at him, I have to clench my legs together because I know what’s going to follow. The longer we talk, the hornier I’ll get, and we’ll end up in a ball of arms and legs and genitals rubbing all over each other again.

“I only want Toombs. I guess I can’t have him since the two of you are attached at the hip.”

“He wouldn’t know what to do with you on his own.”

I laugh. “Are you saying he can’t function without you? That’s a little assuming, even for you. Toombs is perfectly capable of handling a relationship on his own. Problem is you won’t let him off the leash long enough to find out.”

“He doesn’t love you, Jinx. He loves me.”

I wince. The truth hurts.

“And where does that leave Rax? How does Rax feel about Toombs?”

He doesn’t answer.

“You’re a user. As long as Toombs has something to offer—whether it’s his mouth on your dick, his guitar to back you up onstage, or his pledge to fulfill your sexual perversions as your third—you’ll keep using him. That’s why I want nothing to do with you after today.”

“What’s up?” Toombs saunters into the room with a white towel tied around his waist. The gun tattoo holstered at his hip glistens with droplets from the shower. If I weren’t so angry, I’d rush over and lick them off.

The sight of him makes me weak in the knees. Wanting but not having. At least not in the way I need.

“Nothing,” Rax and I say together. I shoot him a disgusted look and snatch clean underwear, jeans, and a T-shirt out of my bag. I return to the bathroom, leaving them to talk about me or suck each other off or whatever.

Screw them.

Emotions alternating between seething and mourning, I shimmy into my clothes, brush and blow-dry my hair, and slap on some makeup.

Soft taps punctuate the wood beside me. I twist the knob and yank it open. Toombs holds out my chiming phone. Shit. My older brother Johnny. What does he want? He never calls me for anything.

“Thanks.” I take the device and close the door.

“Hey,” I say softly and sit on the closed toilet lid.

Johnny grins, the skin around his warm brown eyes crinkling. Reminds me of my dad. “What are you, taking a shit, Gianna?”

Leave it to jokester Johnny to make me smile when I’m seething. “No, stupid.” I stand. “Just getting dressed.”

“I thought you’d be on the bus, rock star.” Grinning, he smacks his gum loudly. He knows it gets a rise out of me.

“No. A friend got me a hotel room for the night. I needed to sleep in a real bed. The bunk is nice, but it’s no good for my back. What’s going on?”

“Mom got fired.”

My heart climbs up my gullet, pries open my mouth, and pumps out a very loud, “What?”

“Yeah.” The light in his face dims by a couple lumens.

“What the hell happened?”
And why didn’t Mom tell me?
My hand shakes so hard, I have to still it with my other one.

“Not sure. She ain’t talking to me about it, but I overheard her and Dad. She has two more weeks.”

She doesn’t want me to know. She doesn’t want me to worry. I love my mom, but damn.

“Did she get in trouble, or did they lay her off like Dad? Is the bank closing?” Wouldn’t be the first time a bank went under in Athens since the economy took a nosedive.

“I dunno.”

“Is she home? Can I talk to her?”

“No.”

Damn it, I need some answers. “What
do
you know, dumb-ass?”

“That’s about it.” He pops his gum.

Well, shit. “I’ll give her a call later. Is everything okay with you? Did you get a job yet?”

He shakes his head, and the dying embers of his playfulness snuff out. “Can’t find dick around here. Dad, neither.”

Great. “How’s Mikey?”

“All’s I know is he’s working on Beethoven.”

“He went to his lesson this week, right?” God, please tell me he’s still going.

“Yeah. He’s pissed off ’cause his teacher told him to practice his scales. He says they’re boring.”

“He would. Don’t say anything to him about Mom, okay?”

Johnny twists an invisible key over pursed lips and throws it over his shoulder.

“Ruffle Mikey’s hair for me, will you?” I wish I could do it in person.

“You got it, sis.”

“Bye, Johnny.”

I hit the end button on my phone and pocket it. “Shit.” I snatch open the door and cross the threshold. Toombs blocks my path.

“Who was that?”

I frown and push past him. “None of your business.”

“Boyfriend?”

Gross. I stop and shake my head and then spin around to face him. Hands on hips, I say, “My brother.”

Toombs has on a pair of black Dickies cargo pants, complete with bleach splotches, holes, and a wallet chain hanging from his waist to his butt pocket. No shirt. Between the vivid tattoos and the scars taking up huge portions of his dermal real estate, it’s hard to concentrate on his face. I’ve got a sudden urge to hump his leg. Especially with him staring at my lips like he wants to maul them again.

God, his lips know how to undo me. Completely.

“Everything okay at home?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s great.” The sarcasm shines through loud and clear. I don’t mean for it to.

Rax wanders over from the couch. Because, of course, I need more drama in my life. I avoid his eyes and focus on Toombs instead. “I’m going back to the bus.”

“We’ve got one more night booked here,” Rax says.

“You guys have at it. You don’t need me to have fun.”

“You promised us two nights.” This comes from Toombs. I’m shocked. And yes, more than a little excited.

“I promised one. Shades booked two. I gotta work on some new beats. And I need to talk to Jillian.”

Toombs becomes more animated. Almost eager. “Use my drums.”

Is he excited that I’m trying to be productive? “I prefer my own.”

“I can have them brought over. Me and Rax will leave if you want some quiet.”

My gaze hopscotches between them. “That’s okay.”

“Stay.” Toombs glides forward, ignoring Rax’s scowl. Or maybe oblivious to it.

My insides melt. With one little word, he’s got me hanging by a thread, scrambling for a handhold, swinging over a canyon of sin. And me without my halo and wings for a safety net.