BEAST (MMA Bad Boys Book 1) (9 page)

On impulse, I jump and step back until my back is to the wall. My eyes wide, I ask him, “What are you doing?” The quiver in my voice has me wanting to slap myself, I couldn’t sound any more pathetic and weak.

His arms cage me in as he places his hand on the wall on either side of my head. Gulping, I stare into his eyes, mesmerised by how magnificently blue they are with specks of gold around the edges. The smirk that lifts the side of his face and crinkles his eyes has my blood sizzling with heat. God, he’s hot, even if he is an arrogant twat. “You’re beautiful.”

“Whoa, hold up there, big boy. What the hell?” I place my hands on his chest, pushing to get him to back up. But he doesn’t even budge and the wall of muscle underneath my palms has me panting for breath. Fuck my life. “Please.”

“Please what, Carlotta. Tell me what you want.” His face disappears into the crook of my neck and I tilt my head…and I have no idea why, but it’s like he’s put a spell on me.

“Get away.” I hardly sound convincing and he chuckles as his lips trail a line softly to my mouth. “I don’t like you.”

“I don’t like you either.” His mouth smashes down onto mine and I’m powerless to stop it as an overwhelming amount of lust spreads through my system. My fingers curl into his shirt, not knowing whether to push him away of pull him closer. Deepening the kiss, Beast’s tongue invades mine and the kiss soon gets rough, inviting and totally intoxicating. My eyes flutter closed as his hands tangle in my hair.

But all good things must come to an end, and he pulls away. I see a war brewing in his eyes and regret with a hint of lust is showing in his eyes. Pulling myself together, I say, “That should not have happened, Beast. I don’t know you, or like you, and I’m not the kinda girl to have a one night stand or casual sex when a man clicks his fingers. You need to leave.”

“You’re right, that shouldn’t have happened.” He pulls his shades down onto his eyes and turns on his heel. Reaching the front door, he glances back over his shoulder. “It’s true, you’re not a bitch and you deserve better than me.”

Not understanding what he’s implying, I go to reply but the door is shut as he leaves the room. Coldness seeps into my bones and my lips are swollen and sore from the passionate, yet desperate, kiss he plastered on me. Scolding myself in my mind, my mood turns sour. I was about ready to drop my robe and ride his cock. But thank god common sense came over him, I don’t think I would have stopped him. Lust took over and clouded my brain, my body coming alive beneath the lips of a man I have no chance of being with.

“Car?” Gemma is in front of me, staring at my face. “You’re really pale. Are you okay?”

“Fine. I’m fine. I…I need to lay down for five minutes.” I dodge passed her, the questions she wants to ask me are written all over her face and I’m not ready to answer any one of them.

Safe inside the confines of my bedroom, I lock my door and turn, collapsing face first to the bed with a bounce. Why the hell did I let that happen?

I’ve had sex with one person in my whole life, it was such a bad experience that I didn’t want it to ever happen again. The bruises left on my thighs and the blood loss had me absolutely terrified of experiencing sex again. I was fifteen, still young and living my life, partying was what led me to trouble. I remember being so drunk that I was acting like a total moron and ended up with a boy from my class, a boy that every female in the school wanted. I’m still not sure how we got from the room that party was in, to the bedroom at the end of the hall. All I remember is the excruciating pain between my legs and vision being blurry. I woke up the next morning in the same position, the throbbing between my legs so intense that I screamed into the empty room. The last thing I remember before passing out was paramedics entering the room. After that, everything was dark until I woke up in the hospital. The memories slay me, they control me.

Not wanting to reminisce about those shitty times, I get on my feet and get ready for a night out, get pissed, anything to rid the images from my brain.

I punch the dashboard in my car, frustrated and infuriated with myself for doing what I just did. Before going up to her apartment, I vowed to myself that I would pass her the phone and leave without saying anything. But seeing her in that robe, knowing she was naked underneath had my cock rock hard within seconds. Of course, as usual, I was thinking with the wrong fucking head.

Her lips were so smooth, soft and tasted fucking divine and the imprint left on me has me wanting more. More of something I can’t fucking have. Growling with frustration, I turn the key in the ignition and high tail it away from her apartment before I go back up there and release this pent up sexual frustration that she’s stirred up in me. My dick is still standing to attention and it’s distracting me from driving. I’m speeding but I don’t give a fuck about being pulled over, I can worm my way out of anything.

Walking up the concrete steps to the Victorian townhouse that looms in front of me, I ring the bell and wait with impatience. I’m not one to express patience, I’d rather have shit done straight away or not all. After thirty seconds and no answer, I press my finger to the bell and keep it there.

Finally, the door swings open and an annoyed looking Jase answers, a towel around his waist and scowl on his face. “What’s with the incessant ringing of the bell, mate?”

“You didn’t answer, so I pressed it until you did. It worked didn’t it?” I say gruffly, pushing my way past him into his home. His house is the kind you read about, all rustic chic décor, blacks and brown, and his furniture a contradiction to the wall colours. A white eight seater corner sofa faces a view of this three-acre garden, the wall mounted, flat screen TV is playing music quietly and the white fur rug is what makes up his living room. The open plan kitchen with its faux wooden walls and white appliances glistening under the overhead light, stands proud, no dirty object in sight and no smudges or smears are atop the counters. Jase takes care of his home and is proud of his bachelor pad, as he calls it. It’s the complete opposite of my apartment but this place is welcoming in its own way, even with all the dark colours on the walls and floors.

“Is there something you wanted or are you going to stare around my house a little longer like you’ve never been here before?” Jase chuckles as he walks by, sweeping the remote control of the handmade bass drum coffee table and turning the TV off.

“Carlotta.” My jaw flexes as I say her name, loving the way it sounds coming from my mouth.

“What about her?” Jase eyes me speculatively from across the room, folding his arms across his chest. “What have you done, Beast?”

“I kissed her!” I throw my hands in the air before scrubbing them down my face. “I don’t know what the fuck came over me. You know as well as I do that I can’t bring her into my mess of a life. Carlos would eat her alive and spit her out for his dogs.” The thought of Carlos getting a sniff of this has my chest constricting with panic.

“Beast.” Jase shakes his head from side to side, muttering curses. “You’re a fucking bellend. A complete and utter tosser.”

“Don’t you think I already know that?” It’s funny when Jase calls names because he’s not originally British, he’s from America. Yet, even though he’s been here since when we started secondary school together, he still has a strong Yankee accent. He loves the British lingo though and uses it wherever he can and it’s fucking hilarious to hear.

“How, dude? Seriously, you only saw her last night and she fucking hated you.” That makes him giggle, because let’s face it, no woman hates me.

“She left her phone in my Ma’s restaurant, I got her address from the system at the warehouse and went to give it to her. I didn’t expect her to have just showered and in nothing but a robe. Those legs….” I trail off when he holds his hands up and a pained expression on his face.

“Please…I don’t need a visual. I love the girl to pieces, a good friend. I guess you really have no control over your dick.”

“If that were the case, Jase, I wouldn’t have stopped at just a kiss.” Come to think of it, I wasn’t the one that wanted that to end. Or was it me? I can’t remember now. “Okay, you have a point. But come on, she’s fucking hot, mate.”

“Maybe, but you still can’t.” Jase says looking apologetically at me. “I know it pains you not to have what you want but think with the head on top of your shoulders for once.” Jase and Roofie are the only people in the world that know the predicament I’m in. The clusterfuck I’m in would be more accurate. They know I need to get out of MMA for my sanity. But they know it’s impossible. Need and want are different things. I want to stay in it for the money and until I reach the fucking top, make shit more legalised, but until then I have to grit my teeth and bare the fucking bullshit that Carlos reigns down on me. He knows I’m going to take his place one day and that idea fucks with his head. It will fucking happen though, I’m the best there is and he knows it.

“I know, buddy, I know. I just need to avoid her like the plague.” I don’t want to but I have to. Her safety is paramount after all.

“You can have any ring girl or bar fly you want, Beast. Don’t go for the good ones.” Jase turns and heads to the fridge. “Beer?”

“Yeah. I sure as fuck need one.” I mutter the last bit and he doesn’t show any indication of hearing me. Not that I give a shit to be honest.

“Pub tonight?” Jase hands me the beer with the cap already tossed away and I swig back half of it and sigh as the cold liquid sinks to my stomach.

“Stupid question.” We spend an hour going over our fight schedules for the next two weeks before I leave to get a shower at home.