BEAST: A Bad Boy Marine Romance (27 page)

T
HE STEAM
FROM THE SHOWER fogged up the tiny mirror. I knew I was doing the right thing, no matter what my body was telling me. Annie couldn’t possibly be ready to be intimate with a man after what she’d been through, especially a man who’d been one of her clients. I didn’t want her to flash back to the brothel. She needed time for her body and her mind to recover, come to grips with what had happened to her.

I had to admit, I wasn’t just thinking about her. I didn’t have sex with women I knew or cared about. One-night stands, no strings attached, those were all I could handle. Could I make love to her and then walk away tomorrow?

I pulled on my clothes, and entered her cabin. This entire voyage, I’d slept on the floor. Annie was curled in a ball on the bed. Her hair splayed around her head, her arms wrapped around her chest. She wore the simple cotton dress I’d picked out for her before I rescued her. The moonlight from the porthole illuminated her body. She was breathtaking.

The rest of the boat remained silent, except the gentle waves of the ocean rustling.

I climbed on the bed, wrapped my arms around her. She smiled, and turned to face me. Her body strained closer as I hovered over her, lowered my lips to hers. She opened her mouth slowly, hesitantly, and I forced myself not to be too enthusiastic. To go slow when I wanted to plunge my tongue into her mouth and take. Take it all. Take her.

Her lips attacked mine, a desperate kiss. I didn’t resist. Her mouth was hot and wet. She didn’t taste bitter and dry like I’d expected her to. No. She was salty and fruity, like a strawberry margarita. I had a fleeting desire to drink her up, taste every inch of her body, and pleasure her instead of forcing her to service me. I wanted to see a warm flush wash over her face and make her glow just for me. To make her come and scream out my name, and tell her she’d be safe and never scared again. I wanted to protect her and promise her as long as I lived, no man other than me would ever touch her again.

I couldn’t allow myself to promise her anything, with words or my body. One kiss, it couldn’t go beyond this one kiss. This kiss was the culmination of the nights I rocked her to sleep, prayed she would survive long enough for me to find her. We needed this kiss, one glimpse into what things might’ve been if we’d met under different circumstances.

I pulled away from her lips, and I felt like a magnet being pushed back toward her. But I was strong and I resisted. I turned her back around, spooning her. And like I had every night since I rescued her, I rocked her to sleep.

I could handle kissing her, but not waking up to her all sleepy and soft. She’d been wrapped around me like a vine, curled into my side with a leg thrown across my own, her breasts against my chest, and her face tucked into my neck. I tucked that feeling away, too, and pulled away from the embrace and the longing it stirred.

I wanted nothing more than to rouse her from sleep and kiss her more deeply than the night before, but that would lead us both down a road I wasn’t sure I could come back from.

I was eating a pitiful excuse for a breakfast, runny, cold eggs and piss-poor coffee when she slipped into the galley in her meet-the-parents clothes, clutching Gabriel’s hand. She was hesitant as she came closer; she looked almost hopeful.

The shame and regret twisted painfully in my chest when she smiled up at me, her cheeks flush with a burn from my beard. For the first time since I met her she seemed happy and it fucking pissed me off that I allowed myself to even get close to her and give her a false sense of hope.

“Hey, buddy. Did you have fun last night?”

He gave me a high five. “Fun last night.” Gabriel had a habit of repeating what I said, which I found amusing.

Annie sat him down in a chair, and fidgeted with the hem of her dress as I made them breakfast.

“You ready?”

Confusion muddled her face and though I wanted to sidle up to her and tuck her into the comfort of my arm, I resisted. “Yeah, I have everything. How do I look?”

Her face glowed, as it had last night. All I wanted in that moment was to drag her back to our room and take back my promise not to make love to her. Instead, I frowned. “You look beautiful. Kyle, Vic, and I will wait outside your house and watch you walk in. Once I’m sure you’re in safe hands, I’ll go.”

She blinked back tears, though I ignored them. I tried to pretend they were tears of excitement, but I could tell by her white pallor and tense stance that she was petrified.

She ate her breakfast in silence and I was both thankful and angry about every fucking thing. She finished and threw away the soggy paper plate; her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Let’s go.”

I took both her and Gabriel’s hands and led them off the boat and dock. We’d docked at the SEAL base in Coronado so we wouldn’t be hassled by customs and immigration. Vic and Kyle carried our luggage to Vic’s Chevy Tahoe while Dave stayed behind on the boat. Annie, Gabriel, and I sat outside my office. Her eyes darted around, staring at the SEALs training on the beach. A few guys looked right at us and Annie’s gaze lowered to the ground almost instantly. She tapped her foot and clutched my arm, almost leaving marks.

She turned to me. “About last night, I wanted to apologize—”

I cut her off. “Don’t.”

“Will you come see me when you return from deployment? I really would like to spend some time with you when you come back.”

An image flashed in my mind of Annie and Gabriel greeting me on the dock after a deployment, holding a sign, and jumping up and down trying to get a better glimpse of me. “Annie, I don’t think that’s a good idea—for you or Gabriel. You need to heal and move on. We’ll be bonded together forever because of this. But that’s all there is. A memory. You’re confusing your gratitude for your freedom with your feelings toward me. You don’t know me. And I don’t really know you, either. We have nothing in common. It was what it was. Now that you’re back home, you’ll get back with your rich, surfer boyfriend who keeps telling the press how much he misses you, and you’ll forget I exist.”

“That’s impossible. And I doubt Chris has stayed faithful all these years. I’m sure he has a ton of girls. I’m not the same person I was when I left. No one has ever done anything for me like you have. I need you. I won’t be able to forget you.”

“Well, you’re going to have to. I’m not the man you think I am.”

Vic pulled the car around with Kyle in the passenger seat.

I opened the door for her and she squeezed inside, Gabriel sitting next to her in Vic’s daughter’s car seat. I sat next to Annie and held her hand. I didn’t want to be a dick to her; I just didn’t want to give her any hope there was a future for us. Because there wasn’t.

As we drove away from the Navy base, my home, I looked out back at the yacht. I swallowed hard. After months of Annie consuming my thoughts, our time together was coming to an end.

Vic drove up the I-5 North. Annie was looking out the window at the coast.

“I never thought I’d see San Diego again.” Annie had chills on her arms, and I put my arm around her to comfort her.

We exited in Encinitas, and Vic drove down to a street full of beachfront mansions. I knew she was loaded, but this place was ridiculous. Vic parked up the street from her house, and I helped her and Gabriel out of the car. Vic and Kyle both emerged to say good-bye.

“Thank you both for everything. I hope I’ll see you guys again.”

Vic gave her a hug. “Good luck, Annie.”

Kyle also embraced her. “Of course we’ll see you again. You’re Pat’s girl. I’m counting on hooking up with all your hottie friends.”

Her mouth spread into a smile. “They’ll love you.”

I leveled Kyle with my eyes. I’d deal with him later.

“You guys stay here. I’ll take her inside.”

We walked up to the gate of her house, Annie holding on to my arm, Gabriel clutching my leg.

I bent over and gave Gabriel a hug. “Bye, little man. Take care of your mama for me.”

He latched onto my neck, and I almost welled up with tears. “Bye, Pat.”

I turned to Annie, her hair blowing in the ocean air. Would this be the last time I ever saw her? “Good-bye, Annie.”

“Can’t you come inside with me? Just for a bit?” I could feel Annie shake.

There couldn’t be any ambiguity. I had to cut the ties. “No. You need to go by yourself. I’m not coming with you.”

“But I need you. Please, I’m sure the Navy would give you leave? My daddy could get you a job and—”

My chest tightened. I fucking hated myself for being such an asshole. I didn’t have a choice—no one could find out about our involvement in her rescue. We’d gone over the cover story a bunch of times—Dave rescued her and sailed her home. I had to end this. For her. For me. For Gabriel. We both had to move on.

“Stop. We’re not going to do this.” My head pounded. I had to get it over with. Set her free so she could move on. “This is it, Annie. It’s over. I can’t ever see you again. I rescued you, and detoxed you. The job is done. This is done. I don’t owe you anything. Just let it go.”

Tears fell down her face and she let out a whimper.

I nudged Annie toward the gate, which she opened, then walked up to the front steps. Annie looked back at me, I nodded, and she rang the doorbell. Annie’s mom, who I recognized from the pictures, opened the door, and let out a scream. She hugged Annie, Gabriel still standing by her side. I gave a final glance back and could see Annie’s father appear at the door. Annie was safe. I’d done my job and completed my mission. It was time to get back to my men.

I raced up the street, jumped into Vic’s SUV. “Go.”

Vic sped away.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I could’ve kissed her good-bye, told her it was going to be okay, and that I cared about her.

“You okay?” Vic offered.

“Yup. Never better,” I lied.

I wondered what Annie was doing at that moment. Would her parents accept Gabriel? Like an investigative news reporter, I wanted to know every detail. But that was her story. My involvement in her life was over. Now it was time for me to get back to my life. I’d done my job, earned my trident.

The only easy day was yesterday.

I
WAS BACK
ON THE USS Reagan, crammed next to my smelly men. In the week since I’d left Annie at her home, I’d thrown myself into work. Now, we were on our way to our next mission. During my week off, I completely unplugged: no phone, no Facebook, no internet. I hung out with my dog, went to a barbecue at Vic’s house, and caught up on some movies. Normally, I’d log onto the computer every night, but I’d been avoiding the internet until now. Kyle and Vic had told me Annie’s story had been all over the news, but I told them I didn’t want to hear the details. One look at her in a news conference and I’d be stopping by her house to make sure she was okay.

Safely on the ship, I finally signed in once everyone else had dispersed so I could be alone. Against my better judgment, I googled her name.

“Missing American Analía ‘Annie’ Rose Hamilton Found Alive.”

I scanned the article and nothing could’ve prepared me for what I read.

“Hamilton walked into her home in Encinitas, California. She has told authorities she ran away from the resort after a fight with her boyfriend and has been living in Aruba for the past five years under an assumed name as a missionary. She recently decided to return home and chartered a boat to San Diego.”

What the fuck? No mention of being kidnapped, no mention of the brothel, no mention of Gabriel?

I took a deep breath and tried to come up with a reason, any reason, why Annie and her family would lie.

I found a video of a press conference on YouTube. It was a fucking circus: Annie, her parents, her boyfriend Chris, the police, lawyers, and the press. But again, no Gabriel. Where was he?

Annie didn’t speak. She stood at the podium in a fitted, white suit, clutching the cheap necklace I’d given her.

Was she trying to send me a signal?

Her parents read from a prepared statement.

“We are so ecstatic to be reunited with our darling Annie. She is a testament to our faith in the Lord. Though we missed her all these years, we feel solace knowing she was doing God’s work. To all the families with missing children out there, never give up hope. We ask for our privacy at this time as we rebuild our family.”

Faith in the Lord? The Lord didn’t find her, I did. I wasn’t an atheist. I believed in God, I’d been raised Catholic. I hated the acceptance that everything which happened was part of God’s plan. Was it God’s plan for Annie to be kidnapped, forced to take drugs, and be raped every day?

Her boyfriend held her hand. I closed the website.

I found Kyle and Vic in the television lounge.

Kyle took one look at my face and grimaced. “So, you finally heard about Annie?”

“I don’t understand why they’d lie. Where’s Gabriel?”

Vic stood up. “She said her parents were pretentious assholes. What don’t you get? They probably want to shield them from becoming tabloid superstars. ‘Kidnapped sex slave and her son, fathered by her pimp, born in a brothel.’ This is probably their way of protecting her.”

I shook my head. “But they’re lying. Like it or not, the dancer was his dad.”

Kyle put his hand on my shoulders. “Pat, it’s over. Just like you wanted. She kept our names out of the press. I’m sure Gabriel is fine. This way Annie can heal, get the help she needs to recover, without the media stalking her and her son. Knowing her awful story doesn’t help anyone. Not her, not Gabriel. I talked to Dave—her parents gave him half of the reward, covered all of his expenses and then some, and he agreed to go along with their story.”

I nodded my head. My gut told me something was wrong. Wrong with her family. Annie told me over and over that she was worried they wouldn’t accept Gabriel. Had she been right? Were they embarrassed by him? Was this their way of trying to get Annie to detach from her child? Gabriel was such a cool, sweet boy. I hoped his grandparents were treating him right.

Six more months. Six more months and I’d be back in sunny San Diego. Less than twenty miles away from Annie. I’d told her I’d never wanted to see her again. I wasn’t sure I’d meant it. For now, I had to focus on my next mission, get her crooked smile and her little boy’s laughter out of my head.