Bear Hearted: BBW Paranormal Shifter Romance (7 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Toby expected every part of the shift this time, though that didn’t make it hurt any less. He curled up on the floor and dug is teeth into his bottom lip, stifling the scream that resided in his chest. The popping of his bones was the worst. He writhed on the filthy floor for almost five minutes, he counted each second. Like before, he wanted it all to end. He tried to think of how much he loved the experience of being a bear, but at the moment it wasn’t worth it.

Estrella had done this to him. His mind and heart were torn in half. She claimed she wanted to see him live, but what kind of life was this? He had no control over the change. Would it happen every time he was angry? Was he not allowed to have strong emotions anymore?

When his shift was completed, he stood on all fours panting. He shook his body, releasing the rest of the fur. He sat, staring at the door in front of him.
Now what?

He didn’t have to wonder too long because the door opened.

Toby tensed, sensing the person to either freak out or attack him. He didn’t want to kill anyone though he knew he’d know how.

Instead, a black nose poked out between the door and frame. Attached to the nose was a full grown black bear. It was Toby’s turn to freak out. He pressed his hulking body against the tile wall, trying to make himself as small as possible.

The black bear jerked his head to the side with a grunt, indicating for him to follow.

Toby’s gaze darted around the room, not wanting to go out there with other humans.

With another grunt from the black bear, Toby obeyed.

In the main area of the pub, the chairs and tables were pushed aside and all of the patrons stood against the bar looking at Toby.

Toby found Estrella, her hands were clasped in her lap, casually, as if it was an everyday thing to be around two humans who shifted into bears. It had been an everyday thing for her as far as he knew. She said she was their doctor. It all came together for him. The reason she took him there was to be around her shifter friends. Whoever was next to him had been willing to do the intense change to show Toby that it was normal for them.

The air around the black bear started to shimmer. Toby couldn’t tear his eyes away from the bear shifting back into a human. He’d experienced the shift first hand, but to watch was nothing short of magical. He knew it was painful, though on someone else it looked like a dance. The movement of front legs to arms and going from all fours to upright was graceful. When the black bear finished the shift he stood in the middle of the room, butt naked. It was Cal. No one diverted their eyes, it was something they saw a lot of. Someone tossed Cal a shirt and jeans and he swiftly put them on.

Toby looked around the room at mostly unfamiliar faces. He was embarrassed about his outburst, happy that he had fur to conceal his flushed skin.

Cal came to his side and knelt beside him as he did in the dream. “You’re not as dumb as I thought,” he said with a smile, his voice crystal clear this time. He threw a glance to Estrella. “He figured it out better than most cubs do.”

Marty clapped a hand on a younger guy, probably in his early twenties. The guy chucked Marty in the arm. A few of the others laughed but eventually they all turned their attention back to Toby.

Toby shifted his weight on his paws, keeping his gaze on Estrella. She stared right back but said nothing. In fact, no one said anything. What were they waiting for? He had no idea how to shift back and like hell was he going to risk walking in the streets in that form that early in the night.

“To go back,” Cal said. “All you have to do is want to.” He smiled, chuckling to himself. “It’s a simple thing to say, but to do on the other hand…”

With a few encouraging nods from Cal, Toby took a step back and concentrated on being human.
What does that even mean?
He’d been human his entire life up until a few days ago.

He looked down at the floor, not waiting the others to distract him. Why wouldn’t they leave him alone and let him try? The pressure of their gazes on him made that prickly sensation move across his skin. Where that had been the start of each change, he didn’t feel it. This time he was genuinely embarrassed.

A pair of black shoes entered his vision. He looked up to see Estrella. He leaned back, sat on his furry butt and came eye-to-eye with her.

She took his paw in her hands and gently stroked it. The sensation was amazing. His sense of touch had been heightened too.

He sniffed the air between them, memorizing her scent. It was both sweet and salty, a beautiful mixture that that he knew he’d never forget.

“When training the cubs,” she said softly. “I find it’s helpful to relax.”

Toby rolled his eyes. Estrella laughed. “They’re only here to support you. This is your family now.”

His throat constricted. It had been him and his dad for so long until Toby went to college. Then he rarely saw the guy until he ended up in the hospital. Did he deserve a new family? He certainly never thought so.

“Find a solid connection with something or someone in your human life.”

All he could think about was her. He touched each part of her face with his eyes, downloading all of her into him. She’d been there for him in his worst condition. She could have easily just been his doctor, not the person who saved his life. He had a lot to learn about being a bear shifter, but as long as she was around he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

He closed his eyes and imagined the first time he saw her, now in a new light. Her hard-ass, professional exterior had been broken as they got to know each other while he was her patient. Had he done that? He could finally understand why she was so upset and worried when he didn’t call her back. And why he kept telling him she wanted to save him. She must feel the same way he did. That thought warmed his heart and the beginning stirrings of the change moved through his body.

All of a sudden, violent shudders ripped through him and he toppled over, knocking over a high-top table and two chairs. The shift back to human was quicker and even more painful.  He didn’t remember the shift back the first time and wondered if he’d passed out. He certainly felt like doing that now. How did Cal look so graceful doing it? He cried out, the sound a mix of grunting and moaning. His bear-side trying to hold onto its form while the human side of him attempted to take over.

Cal stepped between Toby and Estrella, blocking her from his view. He heaved air into his lungs, thinking that they would collapse at any moment without oxygen. She poked her head out from behind Cal and Toby found her eyes again and honed in on them.

His face was the worst. It was as if his head was being squeezed by a vice. The slow, painful retreat of his snout made him see black spots across his vision.
Don’t pass out. Not in front of everyone. Especially her.
By the way they had jeered the twenty-something he knew as a new member to the society he’d never hear the end of it. And for the first time, he wanted to be there with them. They’d been more supportive in the last hour than anyone in his life other than Stan.

Stan
. Would he be able to confide in his best friend?

It was a question to be saved for later, the final shove into humanity overcame Toby and he heaved the contents of his stomach onto the floor.

Cal and Marty lifted Toby to his feet, his legs were the consistency of jelly. They sat him down and he shivered, turning his body away from Estrella.
This is an attractive look for a first date.

Marty lifted a blanket from behind the bar and placed it over Toby’s shoulders. “You did well.”

Toby snorted and looked around. Everyone was settling back into their seats and within minutes the chatter had resumed like two people had never shifted into bears. “What is this place?” He knew this stuff didn’t happen in other places.

“My father owned this pub,” Cal said, clapping a hand on Toby’s shoulder. “It’s a safe place for the sleuth to come.”

“The what?” Toby asked.

Cal chuckled. “A sleuth is a group of bears.”

“At least we’re not a gaggle,” Marty added from his post behind the bar. “Let me get you something to take the edge off.”

“Water, please,” Estrella said from beside Toby.

Marty snorted. “Whatever you say, E.”

Toby tightened the blanket around him. At least he wasn’t in a police cruiser this time.

She placed a hand on his forehead. “You feel normal.”

Toby laughed. “I’m anything but normal.”

Estrella and Cal shared a look. “Normal for a shifter.”

She took his pulse. He found it hard to focus on anything but her mouth. He settled for staring at the water glass Marty had plopped in front of him. “Pulse is a little fast. That’s normal too.”

He took down the entire glass of water, fulfilling the needs of his body. He pointed to the glass. “Marty, this time I’ll take beer.”

Hours later, after closing down the bar, Toby walked Estrella to her car. He held the waist of the jeans that he had to borrow from Marty’s storage closet. He had several items of clothing on the shelves in there. Toby hadn’t been the only one to ever need them.

Toby rubbed the back of his neck. “This wasn’t what I intended when I asked you out.”

Estrella smiled. “This is what happens on all my dates.”

Toby cocked his head. Had she been on many dates with shifters?

“Kidding,” she said. “Though I’ve been around a lot of shifts. That’s what I meant to say.”

He picked up the shyness in her voice. After all she’d seen tonight, him shift, unshift, throw up, and sit butt naked shivering in a chair, she still flirted with him?

She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry again for springing all that on you. It wasn’t my intention.”

“That’s why you took me to a shifter bar then?”

She took his hand and he squeezed hers. “I had a feeling after the other night after talking to you. That you’d shifted before and didn’t want to tell me. I brought you here in case it happened again. I wanted you to feel safe.”

He traced her jaw with his finger. “It’s very flattering that you want me to be safe. It seems like a common theme for you and me.”

She titled her head down, looking at their hands. “I don’t know what it is about you. But from the moment we met I knew you were different.”

Toby didn’t deserve Estrella. He hadn’t been a good person his entire life. He abandoned his father for his own selfish reasons. Dated a string of ditzes and spent money like it was going out of style. And she managed to see something inside of him that he didn’t. Or maybe she created that person when she gave him the heart.

He moved closer to her and pressed his lips against hers. Estrella inhaled sharply. He grabbed her waist and pulled her against his body. They kissed for a while under the moonlight. Toby knowing that he would do anything to keep this woman. His savior.

Chapter Fourteen

To help the transition into his new life, Estrella suggested Toby meet with Cal on his own. While he would have liked Estrella to be there, he knew this was something he had to do on his own.

Though, Toby was surprised to meet Cal in a graveyard at the edge of town. The heat wave had broke and the breeze that moved through the grounds felt like spirits moving through him.

“Hey, man,” Toby said, shaking Cal’s hand.

Cal dug his hands into his jeans, appearing more nervous than Toby was. “This is a little morbid, but I had no way to segue into it.”

“Into what?” Toby looked at the gravestone they were in front of. The stone was perfect as if it were brand new. The dirt below had just started to grow grass. The pieces came together. “Is this who gave me their heart?”

Cal nodded solemnly. “My brother, David, wasn’t the most giving man. He was stubborn and could be selfish,” Cal chuckled, though Toby noticed his eyes had turned glossy. “He was mixed up in bad things and it finally caught up with him.”

“He gave me a second chance,” Toby said.

Cal nodded again. “When he wasn’t running with his asshole friends outside the sleuth, he helped Estrella. We both did. Shifters can’t go to hospitals so a few of us are trained to help her with the bigger issues that come up. He had told her he wanted to donate his organs when he died. None of us expected him to die so young.”

“That’s why you assisted the surgery?”

“Yes. And I wanted to see who was going to take my brother’s spirit.”

Toby wasn’t a religious man. Talking of spirits was beyond him. “His spirit?”

Cal offered a small smile. “His shifter spirit. It lives in the heart. When it’s removed from the body, it makes the choice to live or die in the new host. At least that’s what we’ve seen from the other surgeries.”

“Can you explain that? When did she start transplanting these hearts? And why?”

“We’ve only used shifter hearts on shifter bodies. There is a group of doctors with other shifter groups that started it a while back to preserve the shifter species. Estrella joined them about five years ago.”

“So I was a gamble?”

Cal shrugged. “I don’t know all the specifics, you’d have to ask her. I do know that it works every single time. The quick healing is instrumental in that.”

Toby paused, thinking of how lucky he’d been. He listened to the
thump thump
of David’s heart in his chest, wanting to give Cal’s brother’s spirit a second chance in this life.

“It took a lot of convincing for Estrella to do this for you. With each heart there is a vote on where it should go. You should feel very grateful to her.”

“I do.”

Cal scratched his chin. “Do you remember that dream you had the other night? In the woods?”

Toby’s gaze snapped to Cal. “How do you know about that?”

“Each of us is different. Some are blessed with certain gifts. Mind is dream-walking.”

What?
Toby’s mind spun.

“When Estrella told me that she thought you had shifted, I wanted to show you the link and hopefully ease the process for you to make the connection.”

Toby remembered dream-Cal pointing to his heart. The dream had been vivid enough to stick with him. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t as overwhelmed as he could have been at the bar the other night.

“How did you know where I was that night?”

“I found your scent and used a little creative freedom in creating the environment that I thought you’d feel comfortable in.”

“Thank you for doing that. Wasn’t it hard for you to do all of this?”

“If you had a chance to see someone in your life have a second chance would you?”

Toby thought of his father. After he died he would have done anything to do it all again the right way. “I would. Though is it the same?”

“Somewhat. We shifters think of ourselves as two entities within the same soul. Half of David is alive in you.”

Toby pressed his hand to his chest.
That was heavy stuff
. “Thank you for trusting me with his heart.” Toby didn’t know if he would have been as giving as Cal when it came to trusting a complete stranger with the task.

“Estrella fought for you, don’t ever make her regret it.”

Her name brought a fluttering sensation in his stomach. He would never give her up without a fight. “I won’t.”

“I know you have a lot of questions, I’d like to take you somewhere to talk more.”

“Where?”

Cal smiled. “Let’s call it our secret hide-out.” He laughed and clapped a hand on Toby’s back, leading him out of the graveyard.

#

Toby drove home on autopilot, taking in everything Cal and the other shifters had told him that day. The secret hide-out was a cabin in the woods far away from any civilization. They would go there to hunt in their bear forms since the area was a no-hunting zone for humans. It was clever and also a nice respite for the men and women of the sleuth to roam in peace. Cal made him practice shifting, diving Toby right into the group. It was still painful, Cal said it was painful every time but once he knew what to expect, it happened quicker each time. He intended to practice until it became like second nature.

It was late when he arrived home and was surprised to see another car in his driveway.

Estrella came out of the car as he pulled in.

He couldn’t fight the smile on his lips. “What are you doing here?”

Estrella met him at the front of his car. The dress she wore was tight on all her curves. He couldn’t help himself when he pulled her close and pressed a kiss to her lips. He’d never get enough of kissing her. Her scent enveloped him and he had a hard time thinking clearly.

She smiled up at him. “I wanted to see how your meeting with Cal went. And I missed you.”

“Do want to come in?” he asked.

“Yes.” He took her hand and led her inside.

In the kitchen, Toby opened two beers and handed one to Estrella. He gave her a cliff-notes version of the day, knowing she already knew most of the stuff he was talking about. She was polite and her attention didn’t waver. His, however, wandered constantly.  Every time she took a sip from the bottle, he got a glimpse of her throat and wanted to kiss every inch of it. He focused on how her mouth moved in response to whatever he said. He wanted to kiss that too.

“All in all it was a good day?” Estrella said, pressing her hands against the counter. Her breasts lifted and Toby had to fight to keep his eyes on hers.

I know how it can be a great day,
he thought. “Yes,” he said instead.

Estrella rubbed her hands together. “I’m glad I set it up.”

“I’m on a bit of a learning curve, but I know I’ll be able to catch up someday.”

“I know  you will.”

Their gazes locked for a moment and it was as if they were sharing a silent conversation. Her pupils dilated and he was desperate to touch her again. He finished off his beer and placed the glass on the counter. His heart skittered in his chest, buzzing with lust. He wasn’t sure he was moving too fast, they’d been through so much together. He wanted all of her. He crossed the space between them and lifted a stray strand of hair from her face, his fingers tracing a line across her smooth skin.

She closed her eyes and took in a breath before opening them, daring him to kiss her.

He must have held onto the moment too long because Estrella’s hands grabbed his neck and pulled his face to hers. Her kisses were passionate, filling him to the brim. He deepened them. She moaned against his mouth which turned him on even more. His hands gripped her waist as he pressed his body into hers. One of his hands moved up her arm and tucked under the sleeve of her dress. He pulled at the fabric, exposing her neck. He kissed the nape of her neck, inhaling her scent, moving down to her shoulder. His hands cupped her breast and a she let out a satisfied sigh.

“You’re. So. Fucking. Beautiful.” He spoke between kisses.

She pressed her hand against him and he groaned with pleasure. “I want you, now,” she commanded.

No argument here.

He lifted her, and her legs tightly straddled his body. He spun her and one of the bottles crashed on the floor. They looked at each other.

“I’ll get it later,” he said, panting.

“Sounds good.” She tilted her head, kissing him again.

The bedroom was too far for him so he settled for the couch. He gently placed her down and took a second to look at the gorgeous creature in front of him. He tossed the pillows on the floor and knelt in front of her.

She sat up and looped her fingers over the waist of his jeans, pulling him down. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

He was on the same page. He lifted her dress over her body and they fell together deeper into oblivion.

His hands stretched down the front of her body, slowly reaching her pussy. His fingers grasped her waiting slit and spread them open as he slipped a finger in between. He pulled her hair tightly into his hands, letting the wave of lust take him over as he felt his bear roar to life inside him.
Must not shift, stay in the moment.

She could hear the vibrations of his animalistic growls from deep inside her as his tongue made his way down her body, diving into the depths of her. His tongue moved faster with each groan that she made.

Toby pressed his lips against Estrella's, never before experiencing the rush he was engulfed in. He leaned backwards to get his cock out. It was raw, thick and bigger than it had ever been. Must be another side effect of the shifter heart.

Estrella bent over and took the entire length of it inside into her throat. She gagged at the size of it while Toby let out a groan. He grabbed her hair and moved her head back and forward as fucked her face with his wet hard dick.

His fingers pursed her pussy open more. One finger became two and two became three. His heart was racing and his vision blurred in a rainbow of colors. He concentrated to stay in the moment, stay here with her. 

In one motion, he plunged deep, taking her hard and fast without a moment to spare before going over the edge and spilling inside her.

Afterwards, they were snuggled together, their legs intertwined. They were silent for a few minutes, catching their breath. Toby didn’t need words to express the intense love he had for her. He regretted wasting so much of his life.

“Do you think I’ll be allowed at the pub?” he asked.

She turned her head to him. “Of course, what do you mean?”

Toby sighed. “I can’t promise I won’t hit on you.”

She giggled and pressed her body against his. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

He smiled. “That’s good.”

“Did Cal tell you anything about how I came across the shifters?”

“Not really.”

Her breath moved across his chest, ticking the thin hairs.

“I was adopted by a very nice couple when I was sixteen. I was a bit of a trouble-maker.”

Toby had a hard time believing that. “I thought you said you had a big family?” he said, absently tracing a circle on her shoulder.

“Those frames on my desk aren’t my blood relatives, but they are family just the same.”

Toby imagined seeing members of the sleuth in those frames. Would he have been tipped off if he had seen the photos before?

She continued, “My adopted aunt, a doctor, had a child with a shifter. He’s the one who owns Patrick’s Pub.”

“Can I be safe to assume his name is Patrick?”

She smiled. “You’re so clever.”

“Oh how I try.”

“I followed Patrick one day. I thank God every day that I had.”

“Why?”

“He and his friends were riding their bicycles and one got hit by a car. Instead of taking him to the hospital, they took him to my aunt. She was their healer.” A tear slipped down her cheek even though she was smiling. Toby could feel how important sharing the story was to her.

She swiped at the tear. “They welcomed me with open arms. And for the first time in my life I felt wanted.”

He knew the feeling. The other bear-shifters had welcomed him without a second thought.

“After that, my rebellious days were over.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Toby said.

Her eyebrows knitted together. “How so?”

“You’re a doctor who staked her license on a stranger. I’d say that’s pretty rebellious.”

“You know what? You’re right. Huh.”

“Ever since I met you, I’ve felt lucky.”

“How so?”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You had faith in my recovery, even when the heart wasn’t available. That meant a lot to me. It kept me going.”

“I’m so happy everything worked out the way it did. I wouldn’t change a second of it.”

“Neither would I.” Toby curled his arm, pulling Estrella closer to him. Her hand rested on his chest where the scar from the surgery should have been. He was almost sorry it wasn’t there. He wanted a reminder of the sacrifices that David, Cal and Estrella endured to keep him alive. He’d thank David each and every day. He vowed to become the best version of himself for his new family. It was the least he could do.