Be With Me (4 page)

I had never been so
frightened in my entire life as the moment when I pushed the door
forward and peered into the dusty interior of my childhood home.
The musty smell was overwhelming, and the light snuck through the
uncovered windows, highlighting the dust particles sifting through
the air. It all reminded me of a grisly suspense thriller, where I
was in the starring role. I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to
dislodge myself from the nightmare, and run away. I had that
choice, but I couldn’t do it, I had to take care of things, and
face the fear head on.

I squared my shoulders and
stepped through the door. The wheels on my rolling luggage thumped
on the hardwood floor as I walked in the parlor area. The knuckles
on the hand carrying the luggage had tuned white from the sheer
forceful grip on the handle. I tried to steel my nerves to no
avail.

My palms were sweaty and
my head was pounding to the beat of a thousand drummers in a
college marching band.

I wandered into the
kitchen, where my mother, father and I would have family dinners,
and pretend to be the happy loving family that we portrayed to be
to the outside world. The oak table was still there, sporting a
ragged table cloth that my mother had made when I was a teenager.
She always tried to instill domestic abilities in me, but I was too
preoccupied with other things to pay attention. My father wouldn’t
let her work outside of the home, so she spent her time cooking,
cleaning and trying to be Miss Suzie Homemaker. She would wait on
him hand and foot, and still he would always have something to
complain about, nothing seemed to please him.

I know my father worked
long hours as a ranch hand, and was rarely home but when he was, I
was always fearful of what he might say or do. As I got older, I
had every reason to be on edge, he was a sick bastard, and I
witnessed that first hand. My mother would just sit on the
sidelines and turn her head when things got rough, she never once
tried to help me, never tried to get me out of our situation. I
didn’t fault her for it when I was younger, I thought surely that
it was just a phase my father was going through, but I was wrong,
that was the way he was, and he wasn’t going to change. Unless
someone put a stop to it permanently.

Six

As Tyler drove back toward
his brothers’ home, he couldn’t help but think of the kiss that
transpired between him and the snobby city girl. What would possess
him to want to get even an inch closer to someone like her than he
had to? She was beautiful, but there were several beautiful women
that passed through his life. She was also attached to someone in
the form of an engagement, and what did that say about her
character? What kind of a woman would throw an agreement out the
window, just to have a steamy moment with a stranger? Could he
fault her for it, or was it just as much his doing as
hers?

Tyler couldn’t sort out
the conflict in his head; it all seemed to run together. He was
nothing but faithful, and despised anyone who went back on their
word. His father had taught him that honor, faith and pride were
the most important aspects of a man’s existence, but damn that kiss
blew those core values out the window.

The feel of her lips were
like silk drenched in honey. And the taste of her could rival even
the most decadent of French pastries. Even as he thought of that
moment when he felt her warm breath mingle with his, Tyler’s cock
throbbed. What would it be like to have someone like her underneath
him? Moaning and writhing beneath and panting out his name in
ecstasy. He really needed to get her off of his mind before his
truck took a dive into a pasture just like hers did.

When he arrived back at
Jake and Emily’s, Tyler was in knots over the woman that shared a
steamy moment with him. He needed to clear his mind of her and
forget that as much as he didn’t want to be, he was attracted to
her.

He got out of his truck
and decided to sit for a while on the front porch, there was
nothing like fresh air to provide clarity to a confused
brain.

“Hey man, what are you
doing out here?” Jake asked.

“Just sitting, and
thinking.”

“I knew I smelled
something burning, I guess that was your wheels turning in that pea
brain of yours.” Jake teased.

“Not everyone can be a
smart successful lawyer like you brother.”

“Sure they can, just not
you. So what has you so tied up you need to brood by
yourself?”

“I’d rather not talk about
it.”

“Always the big tough
Marine aren’t you? Sometimes its best to get things off your chest
Tyler; you will explode if you hold everything in.”

“Dude, you sound like a
woman, marriage and fatherhood sure has changed you. I can remember
a day when you said you would never be tied down.”

“People change, some for
the better and some not so much. I was lucky that Emily and I
crossed paths again.”

“She’s really great Jake.”
Tyler complimented.

“I know she is. She has
changed my life, and that little girl in there has made things
amazing. I never thought I’d be used to waking up and seeing her
smiling face every day, but she brightens everything.”

“You’re such a fucking
sap.” Tyler laughed.

“Maybe so, but I have
everything I could ever want, so if that makes me a sap then it’s a
small price to pay my friend.”

“Thanks for the pep talk,
but I need to get some sleep, night man.”

“Goodnight Ty.”

Tyler headed to the room
he was residing in, and shut the door. He shucked off his clothes
and took out his wallet. It was probably bad luck to carry a
picture of your deceased ex-wife around with you, but Tyler had
trouble letting go of the past. It wasn’t like he could just
discard the things that changed his life; they were a permanent
part of him just like any physical scar.

He pulled out the
photograph and held it in his fingers. Every time he glanced at the
picture of her, he wondered what he could have done to make things
better. What would have made her want to stay and be faithful to
only him? And where would their lives be now? Beating himself up
over the past was just part of his daily routine, no need to change
that now.

Tyler tucked the photo
back in his wallet and settled into the bed for the night, when he
turned off the bedside lamp, he hoped that his mind would be clear
and he could get a good night’s rest. No such luck. All he could
manage to think about was Maggie, her and her slick city girl ways.
Damn he was majorly fucked.

Seven

I wanted to sit and cry,
maybe find a darkened room secluded away from everything and just
let go. This place was far more devastating than I could have ever
imagined. Every detail came back to haunt me like it was fresh and
new. I never expected my past to come back to torture me like this.
The years of therapy and trying to talk out the past with myself
didn’t seem to affect the current state I found myself in. I was
yet again the helpless little girl, lost with no savior in a cruel
and traitorous existence.

Crashing around me was my
life, the one I thought I had in order but was terribly mistaken.
Feeling like I was drowning in a pool of boiling oil, gasping for
air and being burned from the inside out was not something I
expected when I walked through the doors of my past.

I didn’t want to remember
the events that changed my life forever. The times that I would
lock myself in my bedroom hoping that my father would not visit me
during the night. Or the days when my mother was in the hospital,
and he would be alone with me in this house.

I never asked for what
happened it just did.

He was one of my parents
and should have protected me, and loved me, instead he used me. He
did things that no child should have to endure, things that to this
day affected me mentally and physically.

I flashed back to the
times he would put his hands on me, and not in a loving father sort
of way, but a sadistic animal manner.

I went to my mother for
help, but she wouldn’t believe that the man she married would be
guilty of such travesties. Why would she? She was stuck in a
relationship where a controlling prick monitored her every move and
dictated what she should and shouldn’t do.

The invasions became more
frequent as I became a teenager, and when I turned sixteen it
became worse than I could have imagined. He took everything from
me, my innocence, my laughter, and my life.

I never mourned the day I
found out he died, why would I? I celebrated it knowing that my
nightmare had finally come to an end.

When I turned eighteen and
graduated high school, I fled. I scraped and saved everything I
had, and I ran as far away from this place that I could.

I enrolled in college,
graduated, and became successful in Chicago. I put the past where
it should be and never looked back. Until now.

If I had the option to
torch this house and watch the embers burn I would. I wanted
everything to do with the pain and heartache to disappear, and to
sit on the sidelines and observe. But that wasn’t in the cards for
me to play.

My mother’s will
stipulated that I must spend a week here, going through memories
that I would rather throw in the garbage. In return, I would
receive a cash payout from her life insurance, which was seven
figures.

I didn’t know why she
wanted this from me, and I should have walked away, but I was
greedy. Richard and I were on the road to starting a new life
together and I knew that the money would come in handy in the
future.

When the thought of my
fiancée buzzed in my head, I unexpectedly felt guilty. I wasn’t
that person that went around kissing strange men, but finding
myself in that situation had me on edge. When Richard kissed me, I
didn’t feel the things I felt when my lips touched Tyler’s, it was
just…emotionless. Maybe it was just that I had been with Richard
for a while, and things had become stagnant. I had always heard
when you have been in a relationship for a while; things might cool
off a bit, which had to be the case, right?

Things were okay in the
bedroom department of my love life I suppose, I mean Richard would
only do the missionary position with me, but I chalked it up to him
possibly being old fashioned. Not every man had the preference of
bending a girl over and fucking her from behind, although I would
have welcomed the spice of it all, maybe occasionally.

Orgasms were far and few
between with Richard and I, but that was something I could take
care of by myself. Come to think of it, he wasn’t a generous lover
at all. He would stick his dick in me and when he was finished it
was over, end of story.

I know we were both busy
and goal oriented, maybe to the degree of obsession, but things
like sex were trivial.
Most
things were trivial to Richard, but I had come to
be somewhat comfortable with his ideas.

I needed to talk to him,
and have his voice clear my head. I found my phone and dialed his
number.

“Hey!” Richard
answered.

“Hi there, how are things
in paradise?”

“Oh you know, sand, surf,
that’s about it. What about you? Are things going okay?”

“As good as can be
expected, I’m just settling in and trying to get things
done.”

“Yeah well, hopefully you
will get done early and be able to fly out here.”

“I’m not sure about that
but I will try.”

I heard a giggle in the
background, and then a giddy voice.

“Richard, baby, hurry up
so we can swim!”

My stomach became knotted,
and my mouth dry. “Who was that?” I snapped.

“Oh um…That is a friend my
brother brought along.”

“Sounds like you are
pretty chummy with her!”

“It’s not what it sounds
like; she is petrified of sharks and wants someone to swim with
her.”

“Sharks don’t visit
shallow water Richard!”

“Yeah I know, but I
promised her I would protect her.”

“Whatever, look I have a
ton of shit to do; I will just talk to you later.”

“Don’t be mad
Maggie.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Okay good, well I will
chat with you later I love you.”

“Bye Richard.”

By the time I hit the red
end key on my phone, I was steaming with anger. It sure sounded
like my fiancée was having the time of his life with beach whore
Barbie in Bermuda without me.

I could have possibly been
paranoid, but women flocked to Richard, he was handsome, and had
money. That wasn’t why I was with him of course but…why the
hell
was
I with
him?

Eight

“Okay…something is wrong,
spill it Tyler.” Emily prodded.

“Nothing is wrong, why
would you think that?” He responded.

“Well you’ve been sulking
for the last few days, and just don’t seem like yourself. Do you
want to talk about it?”