Be Not Afraid (32 page)

I smiled. “They’re perfect. Really.”

“I’m so sorry I haven’t called or texted.” He slid his fingers around mine, coughed a little. “It kind of took me a while to”—he shook his head, scrambling for the right words—“process everything, I guess. Longer than I thought it would.”

I nodded. I understood. I was still processing it.

“How are you?” he asked. “I mean, really.”

“I’m all right.” His skin was warm; his fingers held mine along the curve of his palm, but not so loose they would slip. “What about you?”

“Okay.” He nodded, as if thinking. “I slept through the night last night. First time in a while. All the way through, without any nightmares.”

I nodded. It had taken more of a toll on him than I’d let myself realize.

“Cassie’s doing better too. It took some time, but she’s really coming around.”

“I’m so glad.”

He squeezed my hand. “We’re going on a family vacation. All of us. This summer.”

“Really?” I smiled. “That’s great.”

“It is sort of great.” He gripped my hand, stopped walking. “I’m sorry again I didn’t call, Marin. Please don’t think it’s because I wasn’t thinking of you, because I thought of you every single minute that I wasn’t thinking of … of everything else. The truth is, I was afraid that if I saw you again before I had a chance to get over everything, I’d never be able to stop associating you with that night.” He paused, rubbing his thumb over the edge of my hand. “And then I realized that I didn’t ever want to stop associating you with that night. That because of it, you gave me my sister back.”

My heart swelled, looking up at him. He seemed older somehow, a different look behind his eyes. I wondered if I did too.

“I’ve missed you so much, Marin.”

“Me too.”

He dropped my hand and brought his fingers up alongside my face. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?”

“How long?”

He smiled, brushing his lips against my forehead. “Guess.”

“As long as I’ve wanted to kiss you?”

His mouth moved down, hovering against my cheek. “Probably longer.”

Our noses bumped. “I doubt it.”

It’s like magic,
I thought as his lips closed over mine.

But better.

First thanks goes to my agent Jessica Regel, who encourages me to write whatever moves me next, and then pushes me to finish it. I couldn’t do it without you. Thank you also to the luminous Jennifer Arena at Random House, who read the original manuscript at its roughest and still somehow saw the potential. This story could not have been shaped into its final form without the brilliant advice of Laura Biagi. You’re amazing. Thanks, too, to Chelsea Eberly, who helped me fine-tune the final drafts and breathe new life into some of the more intricate strands of the manuscript, as well as the entire staff at Random House who helped bring my book to the shelves. You guys are so good at what you do, and I am grateful to be a part of it.

None of my books get written without the necessary time to write them. As a mother and teacher, this kind of
time can be especially difficult to find and navigate. Thank you to all the people who altered their own schedules so that I could do exactly this, including the ones who cheered me on from the sidelines, especially Paul Galante, Sarah Galante, Sophia Galante, Joseph Galante, Gina Marsicano, Roland Merullo, Kemi McShane, Conor Tougher, Chelsea Martelle, Nancy Sanderson, Herbert Plummer, Terry Plummer, and Judy Plummer.

Family, all.

I am blessed to know each and every one of you.

C
ECILIA
G
ALANTE
is the author of several young adult and middle-grade books, although
Be Not Afraid
is her first YA horror novel. A graduate of Goddard College, she is an English teacher and lives with her husband and children in Pennsylvania. Visit her online at
ceciliagalante.com
.