Be My Baby (17 page)

Thank goodness the paramedics had declared Heather shaken but otherwise fine and had been happy to let her go home with a doctor in residence.

Gaby threw the duvet back and stood up. The plan had been to sling on what she'd worn yesterday. She went over to the radiator where she'd hung her jeans. Wet and muddy. Yuck.

She threw her fleece over her head, stuffed her feet in her shoes and decided to run out to the car and pull something clean from her case. She crept out on to the landing, only to meet Luke emerging from his room, fully dressed.

‘Like the outfit,' he said, looking her up and down.

She blushed and hoped the fleece was long enough to hide her knickers. The clear look of male appreciation on Luke's face only increased her fear that it was a couple of inches shy.

‘I'm going to the car…to get something dry.'

Luke just smiled and her silly heart went all giggly and batted its eyelashes.

‘I wanted to thank you, Gaby—for coming back to help. We might not have found her if it weren't for you.'

He took hold of her hands and goosebumps broke out on her bare legs.

Oh, you bad girl! You want him to kiss you.

And, even as she told herself what a daft idea it was, they seemed to lean closer together. She closed her eyes and waited for the soft touch of his lips upon hers.

It never came.

She opened her eyes again. He was looking at her as if he wanted to kiss her and, just as she thought he was going to follow through, he let go of her hands and backed away.

‘Thanks,' he said again simply.

‘It was nothing. I couldn't stand by when Heather was in trouble, could I? What would you have done if you'd lost your daughter as well as your wife?' She was babbling. ‘I mean, you were devastated when Lucy died. How would you have coped without the one thing you had left of her?'

Luke tipped his head to one side and lines appeared on his forehead. ‘I was sad when Lucy died, yes. Devastated for Heather. No one should have to go through that. But I'd already lost her. Our marriage was on the rocks, Gaby.'

‘How awful!'

‘Not really. Once I got over the shock, it was actually quite a relief.'

She blinked.

‘We should never have got married in the first place. I can't regret it entirely, though. I got a wonderful daughter out of it.'

Lucy? Not perfect? Things weren't making sense.

‘But I thought…I'd better get my things from the car.' She scurried down the stairs, refusing to look at him. Once she was fully dressed she'd feel less disoriented.

 

After breakfast Gaby took a walk on the beach to try and get things straight in her head. It seemed that Luke and Lucy's marriage hadn't been the grand passion she'd imagined it to be. So why had she spent the last few weeks killing herself trying to fill Lucy's shoes? Now she looked at her behaviour it seemed to make no sense. Only that she'd felt she wasn't good enough for Luke.

It had been that same cold feeling in the pit of her stomach that she'd had throughout her marriage. She was so scared of losing Luke she'd have done anything to keep him. Including shaping herself into the image of his perfect woman. Only it had turned out that the image she'd used as her template hadn't been so perfect after all.

All those years she'd made herself into what David had wanted her to be and it had been a disaster. It had only pushed him further away and killed her spirit.

She came to a halt and sat on a large branch that had fallen from one of the trees overhanging the water line. The bark was gone and the wood underneath had been washed smooth by the tide.

All this time she had been trying to avoid making the same mess of her relationship with Luke that she'd made of her marriage. Only she hadn't avoided her mistakes, she'd repeated them.

All that stuff she'd recited to herself about needing to be free to make her own decisions had been stuffed in the cupboard gathering cobwebs as soon as love had come into the equation. She'd set about transforming herself without even bothering to find out what Luke really wanted.

And if his behaviour during the last few days was anything to go by, he wanted her, the unvarnished Gaby. Messy hair and all. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

Oh, you stupid, stupid woman! All that time you spent trying to draw him to you, you were pushing him away.

How had she missed it? She almost wanted to laugh, it was so ridiculous.

A warm glow of hope began to tickle her tummy. Perhaps it wasn't too late. Perhaps they could have a happy ending after all. It all depended on what Luke wanted. One problem though: she was too terrified to ask.

 

Luke watched Gaby walk back up the beach and up to the kitchen door. He felt sick. What if he never saw her again? He wanted to run to her, pull her into his arms and convince her to stay using all the dirty tricks he could think of.

Only he didn't. He started clearing the breakfast dishes.

He had to respect her decision. Just like he'd learned how to give Heather her freedom, he had to give Gaby hers. He'd already squeezed one woman so hard in an effort to hang on to her that she'd popped out of his grasp and into the arms of another.

He felt the diamond ring in the back pocket of his jeans. He'd found the box while he'd been hunting for matching socks this morning and he'd taken the ring out and put it in his pocket. A good luck charm. It would always be waiting for her, whenever she wanted to claim it.

Gaby entered the kitchen and he pulled his hand out of his pocket. She looked as if she were trying to work out what he was thinking and he quickly relaxed his face into a neutral expression.

‘Well, this is it, then. Time to go.'

‘Yes.' Good. Keep it plain and simple, non-committal.

She scuffed the floor with the tip of her trainer. ‘I could stay a bit longer, you know.' She glanced up at him through her lashes, then went back to examining her shoe. ‘If you and Heather need a familiar face, after the shock you've both had…'

‘Heather and I will manage, Gaby. And Teresa will be here on Monday. You just do what you've got to do.'

A wave of irritation passed over her features. ‘All right, then. I'll just get my coat.'

He followed her out into the hallway, where she took an inordinately long time stuffing her arms into the sleeves of her jacket and doing up every last button. Then she walked across to him and stood directly in front of him, her eyes large and searching.

‘Goodbye, Luke.'

‘Goodbye, Gaby.'

She stood on tiptoe and placed a feather-light kiss on his lips. Good grief, she wasn't making this easy! Just as she was pulling back, she seemed to have second thoughts and went in for another kiss, deeper, sweeter.

This was torture! He loved this woman—so much the words were ringing round his head and it was all he could do not to shout them out. But he couldn't say it. It would just put pressure on her.

Instead he put every ounce of the feeling into his kiss, but even then he let her take the lead. He wasn't going to make the same mistake as last time. When her hands came up round his neck, he jammed his own into his pockets. And when she finally broke it off, he did nothing to stop her.

She looked so sad. As if he'd done something wrong. His neutral mask slipped as he saw the pain in her eyes. He tried to give a little smile, but he suspected it was more of a grimace and gave up.

‘I'll go and say goodbye to Heather.'

‘I'll just go and check you've left nothing in the mud room,' he said, in a desperate effort to break the spell before he caved in completely. Distance. He needed distance. He spent as long as he could rearranging the wellington boots.

Just as he re-entered the hall, empty handed, he heard a jangle of metal. Gaby jumped away from the hall table. Her keys were lying on the table. They hadn't been there a few minutes ago.

‘Anything?' she asked.

‘Nope. All gone.'

She fidgeted. ‘Actually, I think I have one of your umbrellas in my car. I'll just go and fetch it.' Her gaze skittered briefly to the keys and then she was out of the door.

Luke felt so stupidly happy, he wanted to dance and shout and sing. She
wanted
him to steal her keys again! His heart began to pound.

He tried to compose his face as saw her coming up the garden path. It took all his willpower to keep his hand from reaching out and closing over her keyring.

No, if Gaby wanted to stay, she was going to have to do it on her own, not because he'd left her no other choice.

She walked brightly in and handed him a golfing umbrella. ‘There.'

‘Thanks.' He took it from her and leaned it up against the wall.

Her eyes flicked to the keys still on the table and, while her mouth maintained a smile, it died in her eyes.

They walked down the path together and he stood outside the front gate and watched her get into her car. She didn't even look at him. When she started the car and pulled away, all the hope that had been building inside him crumbled like a dried out sandcastle.

 

Gaby looked in her rear-view mirror as she drove away slowly. Any second now he'd start running. She picked up speed. Had he grown roots or something? Why wasn't he moving?

Don't you dare cry! This is what you wanted, remember? To make your own decisions. You decided it was better to go, so go. Luke is respecting your decision, just like you asked him to. Nothing to cry about there.

Only suddenly she wasn't respecting her own choice any more. Why was she driving away with her heart breaking when she really wanted to stay?

She eased off the accelerator slightly. In her mirror she could still see Luke standing at the bottom of the lane. The same ache was etched all over his face too.

The car skidded to a stop as clarity hit her like a slap round the head.

She'd been so fixated on being free to make her own choices that she hadn't even stopped to consider whether her choice had been the right one.

She swung the door open and left it gaping and started to run. The car engine was still purring behind her, keys swinging in the ignition, but she didn't care. Her legs were pumping as fast as they could as she raced back towards him. One shoe flew off. She left it where it landed.

He threw back his head and laughed with joy, but he didn't move and she didn't want him to. This was one journey she had to make all on her own.

She was almost there, despite the fact that laughing and running and crying all at the same time was not a good combination if she wanted to travel in a straight line.

How could she have doubted his love? It was written all over his face, plain to see.

She covered the last foot or two by launching herself into his arms and wrapping her legs around his middle. And then he was kissing her face and she his and they were squeezing each other so tight she was sure they'd end up a little unconscious heap in the mud.

‘I love you, Gaby Michaels.'

She grinned up at him as he lowered her to the ground. ‘I know. I love you too. Can I stay? Please?'

He laughed. ‘I thought you'd never ask! Only…you're not going to start wearing those scary shoes again, are you?'

I won't if you don't want me to,
she almost blurted.

‘Actually, they hurt like hell and I live in fear of spraining my ankle, so I think they'll only get occasional use.'

He kissed her again, then broke off to whisper in her ear. ‘Actually, there is something I insist you do if you stay.'

She frowned. ‘Luke Armstrong! You were doing so well. Don't spoil it now.'

He pulled something shiny from his pocket. ‘You've got to wear this.' He held a diamond ring up to her hand, but stopped before it circled her finger. ‘But only if you want to.'

She kissed him in such a way he couldn't doubt her answer. ‘Of course I want to, you grumpy old man!'

He started to slide the ring on to her finger, but almost dropped it as they were distracted by a scream from an upstairs window. They had an audience. Heather was clapping and jumping up and down.

They smiled at each other. ‘Put it on properly, then,' he said, nodding to the ring dangling from her knuckle.

‘You don't know when to stop, do you?'

She eased the ring the rest of the way.

He kissed her hand and looked deep into her eyes. Then he kissed her mouth, his lips warm and firm and full of certainty.

‘Nope. You're right,' he whispered into her ear. ‘I have no idea how to stop loving you.'