Bastial Energy (45 page)

“We’d better tell Headmaster Terren so they can do whatever it is they do when a monstrous rat is on the loose. But first, breakfast. We can listen for screams of terror as we go. That should tell us where he is.”

“He’s probably the one terrified.”

“I doubt that.”

The walk to the dining hall was about a mile. As they made their way out of the student housing area, they passed by countless empty houses. The quiet was a discomforting change from every other morning. It was like walking along a beach that was silent because the ocean’s waves had stopped.

“You didn’t leave with Effie?” Steffen asked to disrupt the silence. His two female friends had always been inseparable, their adorable need for proximity only increasing throughout the years.

Reela shook her head. “Eff’s been rising early to train before breakfast, hasn’t been sleeping well. As worried as I am for her, I like to wait until the sun wakes up before I do.”

They walked along the edge of Warrior’s Field. There was a group of ten warriors stretching in a circle around two men sparring.

Farther down, three warriors were standing beside a fourth with a bow. He had an arrow at the ready, but as he pulled back, one of the others said something and pushed the bow down. A few of them laughed. Steffen saw that Reela had noticed it as well.

“I see at least one bow has been made already,” she commented. “Not that anyone knows how to use it besides Cleve.” Her eyes were locked on the man with the bow, her tone filled with remorse.

“I’m worried about him as well, Reela. Who knows what they’ve done to him. He could be in a cell, and we might never see him again. He might even be dead, executed.”

Reela grunted with disgust. “You sure know how to cheer me up,” she said sarcastically.

Steffen suddenly realized his mistake. “Sorry. I meant to say we’ll see him again, probably.”

“Help me take my mind off him and tell me this: What have you been keeping from Effie that’s caused you to act so strange? Is something the matter?”

His heart flipped in his chest. “Nothing! Everything’s fine with Effie and with her sister.”

“Her sister?” Reela held his shoulder to turn him toward her.

“And her father, and mother, and you.” Steffen pointed at Reela in an attempt to cover his nervous reply, but his straightened finger only made him feel more awkward. His arm sagged back to his side. “Everything’s fine with everyone.”

“Steffen, you’re the worst person I know at hiding something. What happened with you and Gabby? Did you let her into your pants?”

Now his heart felt as if it had spun in a circle. “How can you say that so calmly? Wouldn’t it upset you to find out if that was true?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, very little does, and I’m only upset by surprises that
I don’t like. So what happened?”

He sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to cover it up. “We kissed, and I think I like her.”

“And?”

“What do you mean? I think I have feelings for her. And we kissed, more than once!”
Doesn’t she understand what I am saying?

“That’s all?” Reela’s palms opened and she shrugged. “How can you think that compares to finding out we’re at war? Just tell Eff. Better to get it out than to hold it in.”

“She’ll be upset.”

“However she reacts, it’ll be better than you trying to keep it from her.”

Steffen sighed again. He knew there was no point in going against Reela, especially when it came to Effie. “I hope you’re right.”

“I always am.”

They came up to the dining hall, where three meals a day were served. Like most other students, Steffen hadn’t missed one yet. Even if what they made was rarely delectable, being able to put food preparation and cleanup out of his mind was a welcomed change, as his mother always had made him help.

The building was a massive brick structure. Inside were maybe two hundred tables, each long enough to seat twenty people. There were more people on staff as cooks, maintenance workers, and farmers at the Academy than there were as teachers. He’d heard that from a farmer he’d met when he’d visited the farm in the southeast corner of the Academy. It was because an entire third of the campus space was dedicated to the animals and crops that fed everyone each day.

They were late enough to avoid the queue for food. Steffen took a recently washed, but still wet, plate from the pile and put it on the counter for the woman behind it to fill. She ripped a loaf of bread in half, tossing one end on his plate, and poked a square of butter into it.

“The bread’s gone cold,” she told him. She threw three pieces of bacon on next. “So has the bacon.”

Reela got the other half of his bread as well as the same lines from the woman behind the counter.

They sat at the nearest table. Reela shook her bread until the butter came out. She used a finger to dab at it and then spread her finger over the bread before nibbling it. She did this before every bite.

“Doesn’t that get annoying?” Steffen asked.

“No. And if you had to learn from the psychic instructor I have, you’d be craving the extra activity. We do nothing useful.”

“At least you don’t have to run laps. Laps, Reela! They brought us to Warrior’s Field for endurance exercises. Imagine a group of chemists sprinting, then panting, then sprinting, then panting, over and over again. And we’re all terribly slow, only to get slower as the day goes on.”

He used his teeth to rip a chunk from his bread. It was twice the size he’d meant to get, but he fit his lips around it anyway. “It was so embarrassing.” The words barely made it out of his mouth without the bread going with them. “The warriors got more than a laugh from it. Then, the instructor gave us all what they call
chemist shields, which are these silly little wooden barriers that we’re supposed to use to stop the
steel
of a sword when we’re attacked. We latch them onto our arms, and they’re our only protection while we’re expected to run across the battlefield to help wounded fighters.”

He rolled back a sleeve to show the deep bruise on his forearm. “This is what I got when I used it to block an overhead swing from our instructor’s dull blade.”

Reela reached out to graze her fingers over it. Immediately, Steffen felt the dull pain subside. But it returned the moment she took her hand away. “Did you mean to relieve my pain right then?” Steffen asked, running his own finger along the bruise.

Reela shrugged. “Yes, but I didn’t put much energy into it. I mostly wanted to see how strong the pain was.”

Steffen hated not knowing anything about psyche. He’d read books on it, but all they did was confuse him with their abstract images and deeply layered hypotheticals. Reela had told him he was wasting his time with books, explaining they were only helpful after getting a base knowledge about psyche from a good teacher. Eagerly, Steffen then asked Reela to show him the basics, but she just touched his cheek with her palm and told him it would be like teaching poetry to a dog. It was a bit insulting.

He felt somewhat frustrated from the memory. “Reela, why won’t you tell me more about psyche?”

She finished a sip of water and rolled her lips together. “I thought that was just a phase. You’re really still curious?”

“Yes!” Steffen could already feel excitement bubbling up.

Reela tilted her head curiously. “Then, why didn’t you bring it up again?”

“Because of what you said last time.” Steffen let his voice trail off.

Reela furrowed her brow. “Which was what?”

Steffen grumbled for needing to repeat it. “That it would be like teaching poetry to a dog.”

A laugh erupted from Reela before she covered her mouth to contain it. “I’m sorry. It’s not exactly like that, but it is extremely difficult to describe. It’s more like…” Reela’s eyes fell to the table, then lifted to search around the room. “See this is the problem.” She looked back at Steffen and sighed. “It’s not comparable to anything. All psychics perform psyche differently. I wouldn’t know how to help you understand it. So, I usually just avoid trying.”

Steffen’s excitement was ready to burst. “No.” He shook his head vigorously. “You can’t leave it at that. Just give me something, some idea to get a better sense of psyche.”

Reela twisted the corner of her mouth. “I can try.”

“Please do.”

Reela set down her bread, placed her hands on the table, and took the slowest breath Steffen had ever seen. Her eyes seemed to stare deep within him.

Somewhat startled, Steffen leaned away from her. “You’re just going to describe it with words, right?”

“Words alone won’t be enough.” Her face relaxed. “But we can start with them.”

Steffen had a small breath of relief, though he still felt some tension about what Reela had planned.

“You need to start with a strong emotion, something you’ve felt recently so it’s still fresh.” She snapped her fingers. “Quickly, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

“Gabby,” Steffen muttered without thinking, “when she came into my room during the night.” He was worried Reela would be shocked by his choice, but she kept her face serious, seemingly unaffected.

“And what was the feeling you’re thinking of?”

“When I first realized why she was there. I don’t know how to describe it. Worry, excitement, but guilt because of the excitement that seemed wrong to have, something like that.”

“You don’t need to know how to describe it, but can you feel it again right now when you think about it?”

Steffen felt the familiar flutter of his heart and the tingle on the back of his neck. “Very much so.”

“Good. Now, close your eyes. What do you see?”

He closed his eyes. “Nothing. Just black with some white dots.” The feeling had faded.

“That’s fine. Don’t try to imagine anything. Let the image develop on its own. Focus instead on the feeling—this guilty, nervous excitement you felt. Relive it. Use the memory of her to do so.”

He kept his eyes shut, and Gabby’s voice came back to him.
“I was thinking we should lie together.”
That was all Steffen needed. Suddenly his heart was swelling, his stomach was dancing, and chills were running down his body.

An X shape floated to the surface of the sea of black. It was the darkest of reds, close to the black surrounding it, immediately reminding him of blackberry pie—the smell of her that night.

“I see an X.”

“You do?” Reela sounded surprised, which startled Steffen, causing him to quickly lose focus and open his eyes.

“Is that bad?” Steffen asked.

“No, the opposite.” Reela smiled wide. “I must be a good teacher. You just created your first association.”

“Association?”

“That’s what psychics call it. That shape is now associated with that feeling of nervous, guilty excitement, unless you force yourself to change the shape, which isn’t easy and I wouldn’t recommend.”

Steffen shifted on the bench, desperately eager for more. “Now what? What can I do with that?”

Reela reached out to pat his wrist, holding a friendly smile. “Nothing. This is just a way to demonstrate how psyche is performed. That’s what you wanted to know, right?”

Steffen slumped, feeling his excitement begin to dwindle. “Yes.” For a brief moment he thought he might have stumbled onto something spectacular, but it was a silly hope, a childish fantasy. He realized that now.

“Close your eyes again but focus on nothing this time,” Reela said.

Steffen nodded and closed his eyes, letting the sea of black take shape once again.

“I’m going to reproduce this feeling that I felt from you, this nervous excitement. It might take me a moment because I have to imagine a situation with someone that will evoke this emotion, but be patient.”

Someone? Does she have feelings for someone the same way I have feelings for Gabby?
Steffen chose to ignore this curiosity, pushing it from his mind to be revisited later.

“Get ready for the X to come back,” Reela said. “When you see it, grab hold as tightly as you can. Don’t let go.”

“How do I do that?”

“However you can. Don’t think about it. Just do it.”

Silence followed. Then Steffen could hear Reela breathing loudly. He waited, staring deeply into the black, hoping to find the X slowly rising to the surface as it had before.

Suddenly, he saw its outline beginning to push through, making the black bulge around it. The black fell away from the X shape like water, allowing its red color to be seen, brighter than last time, blood red now. With all his might he tried to hold onto it. All his muscles clenched, and he heard himself grunting loudly, an embarrassing sound, but he didn’t let that stop him. It was fading back into the black sea. He tried harder to pull it out, to keep hold, but he was losing it. His grunt grew louder and rougher, scratching his throat, but he didn’t want to give up.

But then it was gone, completely covered by black.

Reela burst into laughter. Steffen opened his eyes to find everyone nearby staring at him with perplexed expressions. Reela was covering her face, trying to hold in her giggles.