Barefoot (18 page)

He made three mugs of tea and handed them one each, then settled in the free chair to drink his while the bacon cooked. Toni stood self-consciously and took a sip of hers, grimacing when she found it was strong and sweet.

It had all been for nothing. The planning, the risks they had taken. She suddenly felt angry with Cal for suggesting it at all. ‘So we just admit defeat? Take him back?’ She was filled with frustration. ‘I can’t give up on Buster.’

Ed stood up and went to turn over the bacon.

Cal tried to negotiate. ‘Couldn’t you keep him here, anyway,’ he asked, ‘just for now? On your land, instead of turning him out into the forest.’

Ed shook his head, adamant. ‘I haven’t got enough grazing as it is.’

Toni needed to be outside the stuffy little house to breathe. ‘I need some air,’ she mumbled, and putting down the horrible tea, fled outdoors.

Cal followed a couple of minutes later and reached out to take her hand. ‘I know you’re upset.’

‘I’m not upset!’ Toni flung his hand away, feeling as if she was going to explode. ‘I just feel useless and …
angry.
We should have checked first.’

He backed away. ‘You mean
I
should have checked, don’t you?’ He looked hurt. ‘I was just trying to help.’

‘Hey. It’s not your fault,’ Toni said quickly. She stepped towards him. ‘None of this is. You’ve been great.’

Cal opened his arms and wrapped them around her. ‘We’ll work something out. I promise,’ he whispered, stroking her hair.

This time she let him go on holding her, until her breathing slowed and synchronised with his. She couldn’t see how things could possibly work out, but she would let herself believe they would, just for a while.

The rain had eased off
, and she could still hear the sounds of the woods coming to life. Water dripping from the leaves onto the forest floor. Squirrels chattering above. Birdsong. And a door opening. She pulled away reluctantly and turned to see Ed watching.

He picked up the hammer he had discarded when they arrived. ‘I’ve got work to get on with. Why don’t you guys go for a ride?’

The suggestion startled her. She glanced at Cal to see his reaction.

‘Why not? We’re here now. Reckon you can cope with your wrist?’

Toni looked down at her cast. It was six weeks since she had sat on a horse. But she had managed to ride the bike over to Poplar Farm. ‘I don’t see why not. It’s not painful anymore.’

Ed started to head towards the barn again. ‘You know where the tack’s kept,’ he called to Cal, before disappearing.

‘Are you really going to ride
him
?’ Toni stared at Bramble in disbelief. ‘He can’t be more than thirteen hands.’

Cal laughed at her face. ‘He’s strong enough, believe me. Ed rides him in the drifts. Tack’s this way.’

Toni followed him towards a lean-to shed. ‘What’s a drift?’

He picked up a well-worn saddle and slung a bridle over his shoulder. ‘It’s when they round up the ponies. Worm them, check them over, put collars on. Then separate out ones to be sold.’

‘And brand them?’ Toni shuddered again at the thought.

Cal headed back over to the corral. ‘It’s how they tell who owns who. You should see a drift one day. It’s pretty exciting.’

Toni pulled back the bar to the entrance to the pen and Bramble instantly whinnied and trotted over to them. He had one sock, a blaze and his mane hung full-length. His tail almost reached the ground.

‘Ed doesn’t graze Bramble out on the forest. He keeps him to ride.’ The pony stood calmly as Cal ran his hands lightly all over his flanks and down each leg, checking him over. ‘I’ve ridden him since I was about six. He’s lovely. Really genuine.’

Toni watched him slowly introducing the saddle to Bramble. She was beginning to realise Cal never rushed anything. Buster stamped restlessly nearby. He’d spent a long night confined in the horse lorry and was eager to be on the move.

Cal slipped the headcollar down over Bramble’s neck and put on the bridle instead.

‘Er… slight problem. It hasn’t got a bit,’ Toni pointed out.

‘That’s because it’s a bitless bridle.’

Toni had never seen such a thing. ‘But how do you…?’ she hesitated, thinking it might sound stupid.

‘How do I stop him?’ he grinned.

She nodded.

‘It still uses pressure. Here.’ He pointed under the chin. And here.’ He indicated the nose-band. ‘You have to use your seat more. ‘He’s barefoot too.’

She looked down at the pony’s hooves. Ever since she met Cal, it was as if she had stepped into a parallel horse world, where everything was done differently. She’d heard of barefoot horses, but her mother always ridiculed them. Every six weeks the farrier came and she led Buster and Grace out to be shod without ever questioning it.

‘Isn’t it cruel?’

Cal shook his head. ‘He’s hacking on forest tracks and moorland,’ he pointed out. ‘Think about it. Shoes cut off their circulation. Look at this.’

He ran a hand down Bramble’s leg and he lifted it obligingly. Toni bent to look at his hoof. It was wide and strong with a thick wall. ‘He’s never had shoes,’ Cal said, ‘and look how healthy his feet are.’

She tried to imagine Arabella’s face if she announced she wanted to take Buster’s shoes off. Or Clive the farrier’s reaction.

‘Are we going or what?’ Cal’s voice dragged her back into the moment.

‘Sure. I’m ready.’

When they both mounted, Toni was surprised to see he didn’t look quite as ridiculous on Bramble as she’d feared.

‘Short legs, long body,’ he grinned. ‘Come on. This way.’

Several tracks led off the clearing, all looking identical to her. Cal picked the one on the left and rode ahead with an easy confidence and a relaxed, almost Western, seat. The forest seemed to swallow them up immediately. When Toni looked over her shoulder a few minutes later, there was no sign of the farmhouse or campsite at all.

‘I hope you know how to get us back again,’ Toni said anxiously.

‘I’ve been riding here since I was five,’ Cal pointed out. ‘Trust me.’

It was so long since she’d just been out for a hack, Toni realised. Riding always had an agenda nowadays. Schooling and cross-country, with a competition in mind. And always the focus on winning. She felt her shoulders relax and the tension begin to fall away.

The horse’s hooves were muffled on the track, damp from the night before and dense with moss and fallen leaves. As her ears became attuned she could hear that Bramble’s unshod hooves sounded different to Buster’s. Lighter somehow.

The trees began to thin out, then ended abruptly to reveal a patch of moorland. Cal waited on the edge of the tree line for her to catch up.

‘Take care from now on,’ he warned. ‘It’ll be boggy in parts. Especially after all that rain last night.’ He smiled at her. ‘Was this a good idea?’

She nodded happily. ‘Great idea.’

He held her gaze. ‘You look beautiful.’

Toni had no idea how to react. But he didn’t seem to need a response as he turned and set off again, letting the reins hang long so Bramble could pick his way carefully through the pools of water. She followed close behind, feeling totally amazed. No one had ever told her she was beautiful before.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she ignored it.

They soon found themselves back amongst the trees, but the track was wider now with room for the ponies to walk side-by-side.  When Cal reached out his hand, she held hers out to meet his, and they rode along like that, joined in the middle. Toni had never felt happier.

‘Up for a canter?’ Cal asked.

‘You bet.’

He dropped her hand to shorten his reins and Bramble was off like a bullet, fast and sure-footed. Toni urged Buster on behind. A light rain had begun to fall again. It stung her face, and she tingled from head to foot with the sheer exhilaration of it all.

Being out in the forest with Cal. Completely free.

Eventually he slowed and brought Bramble back down to a trot. ‘See.’ His eyes sparkled. ‘Told you I could stop him.’

Toni’s phone vibrated in her pocket again, but she refused to look and see who was trying to reach her.

They ambled along for another hour and a half, down smaller tracks and through bogs until she was completely disoriented, so she was amazed when the track ended unexpectedly and they were back in the clearing next to the farmhouse.

‘How did you do that?’

‘It’s really easy to get lost in the forest. I’ve had years of practice, that’s all.’

He jumped down off Bramble, then untacked him, before turning him loose in the coral again.

Toni untacked Buster as well, then she stood there, filled with indecision. Should she put him in with Bramble? Or back in the lorry? Unexpectedly his head shot up and he gave a gentle whinny as a group of three mares wandered into the clearing and stopped to graze. He held his tail high and began to prance around a bit, showing off, suddenly looking younger. Toni had the strongest urge just to unclip the lead-rope and let him go to join them.

Is that what I want to happen?

She remembered everything Ed had said and knew it would be the wrong thing to do. Wrong for Buster. And it wouldn’t solve anything for long anyway. So she led him back over to the corral instead.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket again and this time she took a deep breath and pulled it out. Three missed calls from her father, making her feel guilty instantly. She composed a quick text without bothering to listen to his messages first.

‘
Am fine. Don’t worry.
’ She hesitated, then added, ‘
I’ll be home soon.
’ Which wasn’t strictly true, but she figured it might make him worry less.

Cal was standing watching her. ‘They know you’ve gone?’

Toni nodded. ‘Looks like it.’

‘So… What next?’

She shook her head miserably. ‘I’m so tired I can’t think straight. What do you think I should do?’

‘Get some sleep and come at it fresh?’ he suggested.

‘You’re probably right.’ She climbed up into the lorry and lay down on the front seat, pulled a horse rug on top of her to shut out the world, and fell asleep immediately.

*****  
Eleven
*****

Toni was woken by a banging on the side of the lorry. Throwing back the rug, she opened the side door and found Cal standing there looking grim. Beyond him she saw her father’s silver BMW pulling up to the five-bar gate, with Arabella sitting in the passenger seat.

‘Shit. It’s my parents.’ She looked at Cal, really scared.

‘Don’t panic.’ He was trying to sound cool, but she could tell he was rattled, too.

Toni stood there, not knowing how to handle the situation at all. When the car engine died, her father leapt out and opened the gate, strode over and hugged her hard. She felt uncomfortable and embarrassed in front of Cal.

‘Thank God you’re safe.’

When he pulled away she saw the strain and worry on his face. Arabella stood silently by the car with her arms folded.