Barbecue and Bad News (30 page)

“Thank you.”

“How’s your job?”

Savannah looked to the ceiling. “If you’d asked me that two weeks ago, I would’ve said awesome.”

“What happened to change that?”

“I met a guy.”

“And he messed up your job? That doesn’t bode well.”

“No. It wasn’t like that. He opened my eyes to a whole lot of things. Actually, I met him the day I was on my way here for the wedding.”

“The day you got stuck in that town.”

“Yes. I’ve been there ever since.”

Aunt Cathy raised a brow. “Must have been one heckuva parade.”

Savannah laughed. “You could say that.”

“Your mom would have loved to know that you were working at the paper. Did you know she used to write when she was a young girl?”

“She was always journaling. I remember stacks and stacks of little notebooks always being around.”

“She wanted to be a writer, but after she had you all she wanted was to be a mom. She loved you so much.”

“She gave that up for me?”

“She didn’t see it as giving anything up. She loved being a mother.”

“She was a wonderful mom.” Savannah sniffled back the tears. “I miss her so much.”

“It’s okay. Let it out.”

The tears came again, hot and fast. “I’m sorry I left like I did. I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“We all knew you were hurting. Everyone has to grieve in their own time and own way. We all understood, but don’t let those memories keep you away forever. Your mom and dad loved this town. We love you. Not living here doesn’t change that.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Savannah. You’re in our prayers no matter where you are.” Her aunt got up and went to an old chest in the corner of the room. She pulled out a stack of church bulletins and handed them to Savannah. “Look. Read the back. The prayer list.”

Savannah flipped over the tan paper and read the list. Then she fanned through the large stack of Sundays in her hand. Her name was on every single one of them.

“Family is not a place. It’s not stuff. It’s what’s important in here.” Aunt Cathy patted her hand to her chest and then clenched it into a fist. “It’s what’s in your heart that matters.”

“My heart is broken.”

“You’ll find love one day and it will heal.”

“I’m afraid to love like that.”

“Don’t be. It’s beautiful. Yes, it hurts like heck when you lose it, but Savannah, it’s not worth it to live and not love fully. Don’t cheat yourself. Your mom and dad loved each other like no two people I’ve ever known. I’ll be honest, it was a blessing they died together that night. I don’t think either could have lived without the other.” She reached for Savannah’s hands. “And honey, I wouldn’t have traded even the bad days with your uncle Johnny to spare the sorrow I’ve felt since he died. Trust me. Love is so much bigger than sadness.”

Savannah felt the sorrow of losing Scott, and she hadn’t even had him, really.

“I pray you will find that person who makes your heart race, makes anything seem possible. It’s real, Savannah. I know you’re skeptical . . . but you’re still young. I promise you it’s out there. Find it.”

“What if I already found it?”

Her eyes lit up. “That’s great.”

“No. I’ve screwed that up too. Aunt Cathy, I betrayed a trust. I did some things I’m not proud of.”

“Honey. Who hasn’t? You fix it. Apologize. But words aren’t enough. Show your love. Say it and prove it. If it’s right and true, it is not gone. Unfortunately, sometimes the ones we hurt the most are the ones we love, but that’s the beauty of love. It mends anything.”

“You really believe that?”

“Completely.” Aunt Cathy jumped up to get Savannah’s clothes from the dryer. “Here you go, kiddo.”

Savannah laughed. “I used to love it when you called me that.”

“Are you going to stick around?”

Savannah nodded. “Yeah. I think I am.”

“You have to stay with me. I’ve got plenty of room. Don’t say a word unless it’s yes. I’m going to go make us some tea.” She practically skipped out of the room, and it wasn’t but a short moment later that Aunt Cathy carried in a tray with a tea service on it.

“Is that Mom’s tea service?”

“It is, honey.” She set it on the table. “I’ve saved so many things for you.”

“I don’t deserve them.”

“Stop that. It’s the past. You weren’t to blame then, and you’re not now. The only thing you are to blame for now is not living the life God has given you. Do not waste that gift. It’s precious.”

That struck a chord with her.

“When do you have to be back at your job in DC?”

Savannah took in a deep breath. “I think I might not go back to that job.”

“What will you do?”

“I have no idea, but I’ve got skills that are transferable and I still have the insurance money set aside.” She’d let most of that money from her parents’ estate sit in that account all this time. Somehow it felt wrong to use it, and the insurance had been a large amount that she didn’t feel worthy of taking. So she’d only used it to make sure the flowers and graves were well tended and figured one day the right use of it would come to her.

“What makes you want to leave that job?”

“I’m not proud of what I’m doing there. I think there’s something more important I can do with my life.”

“Then you should. Take a chance. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than what’s already happened.”

“You’re a bright girl. You’re just like my sister. She’d be so proud of you. You will always be fine. I promise you that.”

Savannah sipped her tea, only half listening to Aunt Cathy prattle on about what everyone in town had been doing since she’d been gone. All she could hear was her mother’s voice saying, “Never think you know God’s plan,” and Aunt Cathy saying that real love could mend anything.

She set her teacup down. “Aunt Cathy, I know I just got here, but would you be terribly upset if I left?”

“So soon?” She looked panicked. “Did I say some—”

“No. No. You didn’t say anything wrong. You said something right. I’m going to go back to Adams Grove and I’m going to tell that special someone how I feel.”

A smile spread across Aunt Cathy’s face, and her eyes twinkled with the joy that Savannah had once seen so often in her eyes. Cathy raised her hands to her heart. “You love him.”

“I never knew what falling in love felt like until I met Scott.”

“Then fight for him, honey.” Aunt Cathy pushed a fist in the air and then clapped her hands. It reminded Savannah of her junior high days, when Aunt Cathy would help them at cheerleading practice. “Go. Absolutely. I’ll be here when you’re ready. And you bring that man back with you. Come on. I’ll take you to get your car.”

Savannah wrapped her arms around Aunt Cathy’s neck. “I love you. Thank you for being here for me today.”

“I don’t know what made me drive to the cemetery this morning when I did. Something was telling me to get there, and I just followed that message. I was stunned to see you there.”

“I’ve been talking to Momma the last couple of days. I’ve never really done that.”

“I think I felt that.” Aunt Cathy stood and waved Savannah from her chair. “Go. Get dressed.”

Savannah ran to the bathroom and changed back into her clothes, still warm from the dryer. Her heart was pounding so fast that she was nearly panting when she stepped back into the living room where Aunt Cathy was already standing with her keys in hand.

Aunt Cathy gave her an encouraging smile and the two walked silently to her car. When they pulled up next to Savannah’s car, Aunt Cathy put a gentle hand on Savannah’s cheek. “You drive careful and you call me if you need me to come get you.”

Savannah felt fear crawl inside her. Those words were meant to be supportive but they carried the heavy weight of déjà vu of the very worst kind for her.

“Don’t,” Aunt Cathy said. “I know exactly what you’re thinking, but if you need me, don’t you dare hesitate to call. Your call had nothing to do with what happened. I promise you that, Savannah.”

Savannah climbed out of the car and then turned back around. “After all this time. Me being away. Not calling. You would really do that for me, wouldn’t you?”

Her aunt looked surprised. “Of course. We’re family.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

O
n the ride back to Adams Grove, Savannah felt unsure of how things would go, but she felt darn certain she was doing the right thing.

She turned the radio down and dialed Evelyn.

“Hi, Evelyn.”

“You still owe me some stories, young lady.”

“I know.” She swallowed hard. “Evelyn, things are changing.”

“What does that mean?”

“For starters, you won’t believe where I’ve been.”

“Not in Adams Grove?”

“No. Belles Corner.”

Evelyn’s voice changed from business to that tone she used when they were just talking as friends. “Not surprised at all.” Savannah could hear Evelyn’s chair squeak. Speakerphone. Even this was on speakerphone. “I’m kind of surprised it’s taken you this long. But sometimes you have to heal before you can see things clearly. How’d it go?”

“It was a great visit.”

“I’m glad for you.”

“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed out on.”

“You haven’t missed a thing, gal. You just weren’t ready until now.”

Savannah knew Evelyn was right.

Evelyn picked up the phone. “Dear, I’m so glad you went. It’s a good thing for you, but what on earth happened that made you go there now?”

“Something someone said.”

“The handsome sheriff?”

She hesitated, but only for a moment. “Yes.”

“You like him.” It wasn’t a question.

Savannah nodded. “I do, Evelyn. In fact, I’ve fallen in love with him.”

“Now
that
surprises me.”

“Surprised the heck out of me too, but I’ve made some mistakes. Some big ones. I’ve been so busy thinking about the bad stuff that happened, I’d kind of forgotten all the good times I had growing up. I’d forgotten how Momma and Dad loved each other so much too. I want that kind of love.” Savannah took the next exit and pulled into a gas station parking lot.

“You should have it. Just like my dear husband. Nothing compares to a love like that.” Evelyn cleared her throat. “You on your way back?”

“No. I’m calling to . . . This isn’t easy, Evelyn.” Savannah took in a deep breath and pictured Daphne, and Scott, and Jack, and Aunt Cathy, and she knew no matter what, no matter if Scott didn’t forgive her, there was a different life waiting for her somewhere. “I want to give my notice.”

“Your notice? I told you I’d let you out of the Advice from Van column. If this is about those articles, we can find something new.”

“It’s not just that. Evelyn, you have been an amazing mentor and the best friend in the world, but I think I’m going to try something brand new.”

“Savannah. You know I’d be on your side no matter what, but you could still work for GINN from Adams Grove. I’d be flexible.”

The familiarity of what she’d known the past couple of years was tempting, but she wanted more. She’d had a taste of it. It was clear now. “I won’t have time.”

“Why not?”

And until that moment she wasn’t even sure exactly what that all meant, but it came to her at that moment and it felt right. “I’m going to buy their local newspaper, and I’m going to help a friend open a tearoom.”

“You what?”

“Yep. I’m going for it. Like my aunt Cathy said, what’s the worst thing that can happen?”

“You’ll make it a success, Van. You’re a bright young lady. I’m very proud of you. And that Aunt Cathy of yours, she sounds like a smart lady.”

“So much like Momma. It was so great to see her.” She thought of Scott’s mom. She’d love Aunt Cathy. “I won’t leave you high and dry. I’ll give you whatever kind of notice you need.”

“Honey, you don’t owe me a thing. I’m thrilled for you, and I want to buy the first ads from you once you take over that little paper.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to do it, and it’ll be a write-off.”

“It’s always business for you.”

“Van . . . it wasn’t always business. Before my husband died, things were so different. You and I have been there for each other, both learning to live without the most important people in our lives. I couldn’t have done it without you. I’ve been busy for the same reasons you have. Only I think you’re young enough to have a second chance.”

“You never seemed the least bit fragile. I was a hot mess.”

Her voice softened. “I’m just older. Wiser. Trust me, you’ll do the same for someone someday.”

“I’m so thankful for our friendship. I don’t want that to change.”

“It won’t.” Her voice garnered that corporate strength again. “Now you get your business plan pulled together, and if you need any advice, I’m right here for you, even if you just might end up being my biggest competition.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“I don’t. You’re an amazing woman. You’ve got a good intuition about you. You’re going to do amazing things no matter what the scale, and don’t go thinking just because you’re in a small town it changes how important it is.”

Now, why hadn’t she realized that before? She’d learned that lesson just recently watching Scott and understanding that although his commitment and achievements were different, they were surely not any less valuable.

An important message.

“Good luck, my dear. I’ll cover you for a three-month severance. Consider yourself fired . . . in the very nicest of ways. I’ve got to run, dear. You knock ’em dead.”

Savannah only hoped that somehow she’d patch things up with Scott. If she didn’t, moving to Adams Grove wouldn’t be an option, because he was the very best part.

She took the exit off I-95 toward Adams Grove.

Her palms were sweating. “Please let me say the right thing to make this all work out.”

She drove straight to the
County
Gazette
first. If she struck that deal with Jack first, it would be harder for her to chicken out of the rest of her plan.

Jack had no idea she’d even been out of town, so he thought she was there to pick up the stuff for the police blotter.

He gave her a smile and grabbed the folder from its designated spot. “Here you go, Savannah.”

“Thanks, Jack.” She felt nervous even asking about it now, but she needed to know. “I have a question for you.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Were you serious about selling the paper?”

He straightened. “It depends. I won’t sell it to just anyone. Are you interested?”

“I think I might be. Would you consider selling it to me?”

He smiled, then his smile faded. “I know you work for GINN.”

“Oh, Jack. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’ve done so many things wrong. It was me that wrote that article about Scott Calvin in the Penny for Your Thoughts column.”

“I know,” he said with a thoughtful nod. “I might seem old-school and out of touch, but I still have a lifetime of contacts in this business. I’m pretty well connected.”

“I’m so embarrassed. And I’m sorry. So sorry. I quit that job today.”

“It’s okay. You’re growing. You’re finding you. It’s a process.” He paused and looked her rig
ht in the eye. “Would you keep the tone that I’ve set? I like knowing that I provide a good service to these people.”

Savannah nodded. “I would. I completely respect what you do and why you do it.”

“I’ll make you a deal you won’t be able to refuse.”

He trusted her, and she’d never let him down. Maybe things would go her way yet. She held up a finger. “You hold that thought. I’m working on something. Don’t you let anyone else make an offer without talking to me first. We got a deal?”

Jack nodded. “We sure do.”

She walked out of the newspaper, reminding herself that the first thing she’d do would be to fix that blasted blind so it wouldn’t slap against the door every time she went in or out of the place.

She got in her car and let the air conditioning wash over her face. The cool air felt good against her skin. She raised one sweaty palm to the air stream and then the other. “That was the easy part.”

Driving down Main Street, she pulled along the curb across from the building Daphne was planning to buy from Jack’s family. She could picture the awnings and a bright coat of paint. Lettering across the window and maybe even twinkle lights. Why not? They looked great in the Floral and Hardy window that was just at the end of the block. She’d be close enough to walk from the paper to the tearoom without breaking a sweat on a warm day.

She wondered if Scott had told Daphne what had happened.

She hoped not. It would be hard for Daphne to forgive her for hurting Scott.

The Mini Cooper was tiny enough to park just about anywhere. She pulled back onto the street and turned right toward the sheriff’s station. Worried Scott might refuse to see her if he saw her coming, she parked at the far end of the building and walked around.

She went inside to find Deputy Taylor in the front office. “Hi, Savannah.”

It was a relief that he seemed happy to see her. “Hi. Is Scott in his office?”

“Sure is. Go on back.”

“Thanks.” There was no way the deputy knew what had happened. He’d been too nice.

She walked down the hall and then stopped short of Scott’s office door. A moment of panic filled her body with a flood of adrenaline that made her want to run the other way. Then, just as quickly, she recalled being in his arms and feeling safer than she’d ever felt in her life.

She stepped quietly into his doorway, watching him work until he looked up.

He didn’t say a word. Just leaned back in his chair.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

He put his pen on the desk. “It doesn’t matter.”

His voice was flat. He was still mad. He had every right to be.

She straightened. “It does matter. It matters to me.”

“What do you want?”

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. He looked unhappy about that. He opened his mouth, but she jumped in. “Wait,” she said. “Don’t say anything yet.”

She sat down. “Scott, I love you. I really didn’t mean for all this to happen.”

“Savannah—” He stood up.

“Wait. Please just let me get this out. That first day . . . when we met . . .”

“When I stopped you for speeding.”

“Yeah . . . that day. I asked you if we’d met.”

“I remember.”

“I meant it. I wasn’t playing you. There was something about you that felt familiar. Something about you that sparked with me. That connection was there for a reason. It was meant to be. You felt it too.”

He sat back down.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“It wasn’t meant to be. You don’t have to apologize.”

“I can’t change what happened, but I really wish you could forgive me.”

“It’s not all your fault, Savannah, or Van, or whoever you are. I pick the wrong women. I always have. It’s me.”

“That’s just it. You didn’t pick the wrong girl. I’m the right girl. I know I am.” A flicker of apprehension coursed through her.

“No. I’ve been down this road before. Too many times. You really kind of did me a favor. Even if I did forgive you, you’d just leave eventually.” His shoulders hunched forward as he leaned his elbows on the desk.

She answered quickly, over her pounding heart. “No. Scott. Seriously, I could live here. I love this town. I love the people. I love your momma. I want to be with you, and I want to be a part of this community. You make me a better me. Don’t you see that?” She feared if she stopped talking he would just say no again and she didn’t want to hear it. Couldn’t bear it. “Please believe me.”

“People shouldn’t have to change to be in a relationship. That’s a recipe for disaster. Savannah, you’ll always be special.”

“I’m not changing. I’m finding who I am. I want to move here. I gave my notice at GetItNowNews. I want to buy the
Gazette
from Jack. I just talked to him about it. The only thing that will stop me is you. Please give me a chance.”

He stared at her for a long moment. “Move here if you like, but don’t do it because of me.” He stood and turned his back to her. “Do it because it’s what you want.”

“You don’t want me?

She heard him exhale. Without turning to face her, he said, “I didn’t say that.”

“But?” Savannah sat there in disbelief. She knew she’d hurt Scott, but she’d really expected he’d forgive her. If you love someone—really love them—there’s nothing you can’t get through. Right? Maybe he hadn’t felt what she’d felt after all.

Scott shook his head. “I’m sorry, but this heart of mine isn’t up to this again.”

It was like a dagger through her heart. What more was there to say?

She couldn’t make him love her. Her lips quivered. “I wanted you to know how I feel. You’ve changed me. Made me aware of so many things. I went home to Belles Corner. I’m making peace back there. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in eight years.”

She headed for the door, then stopped. “Thank you.”

She walked out and went straight to her car. Her mind was so consumed with thought that she was blind to what was around her, or if she’d even passed anyone on the street. She revved the engine on her little blue car. Scott’s favorite color.

She drove over to the bank building and parked next to Mike’s truck. It was hard to be mad at him; after all, he was only looking out for his friend. It just sucked that it had to be at her expense.