Barbara's Plea (10 page)

“
B
ut someone told
me recently that I shouldn’t be kissing someone if I didn’t know him,” I started to walk again, “and that part, I plan to rectify this afternoon.”

He laughed huskily and followed me down the path. We stepped out of a patch of trees and the lake came into view, “Wow, this is beautiful.”

“It is, isn’t it?” I sighed, “I forgot how nice it was. I always loved coming here to visit.”

“Did you come here often?” he asked as we approached the dock. Soft ripples broke the surface and gave the water an inviting texture.

“Not as often as I wanted to, but I did spend summers here, and holidays.” The full trees in bloom around the lake reminded me of those warm summer days.

“I bet this looked beautiful in the winter, too,” he said as we reached the end of the dock.

“Like a fairy tale. The lake would freeze over, and we would ice skate on it. The snow covers all the trees, and it looks like a postcard for the perfect winter wonderland.”

“I can picture it,” he replied softly as he sat down.

“Maybe you will still be here to see it this year.” I took the basket and put it between us to remove the food, “Do you think you will be done with the project by then?”

He scanned the lake, “I don’t know. I might, but most likely, I’ll be finished by then.”

“Oh,” was the only thing I could think to say. The thought of him not being here bothered me more than it should have.

“So what did Amelia pack to eat?” He leaned over and peered into the basket.

“Looks like fruit, cheese, some crackers and meats, and a bottle of sparkling wine.” She held it up for me to see.

“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me?” he asked mock-sternly.

I burst out laughing. “Somehow, I can’t imagine anyone taking advantage of you, drunk or not.” I handed him the bottle, “Here, you open that while I set everything out.”

I could feel his eyes on me as I set up our little feast. It didn’t make me nervous, but my heart started beating faster for another reason.

I took a cracker, slipped a slice of sausage on it and a piece of cheese and handed it to him. Our fingers grazed ever so slightly, and I felt the tips of those two fingers begin to tingle. I wanted to giggle, but shoved a grape in my mouth instead.

“So, how old are you, Grey?” I glanced at his profile and it reminded me of the first night I had been at the house. His strong chin and pointed nose were so well defined, and the sun was a spotlight on his handsome features.

“Almost thirty-three, you?”

“I turned thirty-two a few weeks ago.”

He reached for another snack, and I waited till he was done so our hands wouldn’t bump anymore.

“Happy belated birthday. Did you get anything special?” He asked the question and chomped down on another cracker sandwich.

I snorted and turned my attention to the restful view in front of me, “Special? I don’t think so. I doubt you would really be interested in it anyway.” I refused to face him.

“Of course I would be interested in hearing about it,” he replied after he finished chewing.

I eyed him carefully, “I got bent over the arm of our leather sofa so he could get himself off and didn’t end up with any broken bones that night.” His face grew pale. “You asked,” I reminded him softly.

The tension in the air was thick, despite the slight breeze, and I turned to him. His eyes were wide open as he stared at me. A mixture of anger, pain, and compassion flitted over his features. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed the food in his mouth.

“Jesus, Barb, I’m so sorry.” He shook his head, “How can you say that so cavalierly?”

I waved a hand at him, “Don’t be sorry. It was part of my life, a part I am trying to put behind me.” I grew quiet and thought for a second. I didn’t want this afternoon to be about me and what I went through. “And Peggy told me that when I was ready, I needed to talk about it, get it out in the open. The sooner I verbalized the abuse, the sooner I could put it in my past.” I paused, “I checked out of the relationship a long time ago, Grey. After the first time he hit me, my feelings began to fade. The day I stepped out that door, I felt nothing for him, and want nothing more than to put it behind me and move forward.”

“Does it make it easier to talk about? I always thought it was hard for victims to talk about abuse.”

I shrugged, “I guess it is, but like I said, I want to get past it. I know that a lot of women in my situation wouldn’t trust another man, or even consider getting to know one for a long time.” I eyed him, “I don’t have trust issues. Todd did what he did because he was a monster, and, no, I don’t think all men are like that.”

“How can you be so sure that I’m not like that?” His voice was so serious, and I smiled to try and lighten the mood.

“Because Gigi has a damn good sense of reading people. If she can care about you and trust you, then so can I.”

The left edge of his lip tipped up, “Thanks.”

I pulled in clean fresh air and closed my eyes, leaning my head back so the sun would warm my skin. “My marriage was over the first time he hit me. It just took me time to figure out how to get away. I know that it’s going to take me a while to get over the anger and the fear he caused, but I want to live life. I have missed out on some great years, and I don’t want to miss another minute of life.” I turned toward him.

“I get that,” he said softly and winked.

I grabbed a piece of cheese, “So how did you really meet Gigi?”

I laughed. Man, it had been less than two weeks ago, and it felt like so much longer. “Your grandmother witnessed me being fired; she took pity on me and bought me breakfast. While we ate, we talked, and I showed her a picture of Nate. She saw the toy box and the rest is history.”

“That sounds like Gigi,” I laughed. “Your turn to ask a question.”

“What? We’re playing twenty questions?”

I nodded in assent.

“Okay, tell me about your family.”

“Ah, the family questions, okay. This one is easy. I had the best parents, I loved them and they loved me. We had minimal fuss while I was a teenager. They taught me strong values and how to stand up for myself.” I paused and looked out over the lake. “My mom passed away from breast cancer right before I graduated from college, and my dad passed away from a heart attack while he was playing golf. I was already in California when he died, but I spoke with him on the phone constantly.” Grey didn’t stop me so I kept on. “He even came out and met Todd at our engagement party. He thought he was a great guy, but back then, I did too.”

“Where did you work?” he asked.

“Hey, it’s my turn.” I pushed his shoulder, and he grinned.

“I was hoping you’d forget.” He laughed and took a sip from his plastic wineglass. “What’s the question?”

“Tell me about your family.” I chose a strawberry from the fruit pile and allowed the sweet flavor to wrap around my tongue once I bit into it.

“Like you, I had great parents. I think I told you they passed away a few years ago. I’d like to think their love was too strong to keep them apart for long.”

Our eyes met. “I think that about my parents, too. Do you think you’ll ever have that kind of love?”

“I’d like to think so,” he studied me for a moment. “I thought maybe I had it with Cheryl.”

“But you didn’t?” A bird called out above us, and we both turned to the sound.

“No, turns out I didn’t.” He cleared his throat, “My turn. Where did you work?”

“I worked for a marketing company that helped nonprofit organizations raise money. I loved it. I met a lot of people who were making a difference in the world, helping others.”

“I can see you helping others; you seem like that kind of person.”

I glanced down at the food and saw that we had devoured most of the spread already. “I’d like to think I am that kind of person. What do you like to do when you aren’t making things?”

“Hmm, I used to love playing with Nate. When I wasn’t working, we were at the park, or riding bikes. When he got sick, we played board games, Legos, and read more books together.”

“There is no doubt in my mind that you were a great father to him,” I said quietly.

“He was my world.” He dusted off his hands, “Are you going to eat anymore of this?”

“No, I’m done.” We took a few minutes to put what was left back into the basket, and I shifted a few inches closer to him.

“Whose turn is it now?” he asked.

“Mine, you asked me if I was done.” I grinned at him.

“Hey, that doesn’t count.”

“It does when you’re playing twenty questions; it was a question.”

“Funny, alright, cheater, go ahead.” We both laughed again. God, did it feel good to laugh and relax. The sunshine felt awesome on my skin, and the air around me made me think I could finally let my soul fly free.

“Tell me about Cheryl.”

“Seriously, you want to go there?” His lips were in a tight line, the relaxation that had been present only moments ago washed away with my words.

“No, I don’t want to go there, but you know about Todd, so I want to understand about your wife. I think that is only fair.”

He looked over his shoulder and then lay back on the wooden planks of the deck, bringing one knee up and setting his foot flush on a board. His tight t-shirt lifted away from his waistband and his tanned firm skin caught my attention. A thin trail of hair disappeared under the soft material of his shirt and the waistband of his jeans. My fingers twitched to reach out and touch it. I clenched my hands.

“Cheryl and I met in college. She was there for her marketing degree, and I was there for business. We started dating, she got pregnant, we got married. Nate was born five months after we were married and everything was great. I had dropped out of college to work full time so we could afford the bills. She ended up getting her degree and a good job.” His eyes were closed as he lay back with one arm tucked under his head. “It was good enough that I started back to school to finish my business degree and work part time, and then Nate got sick. Her insurance was good, but not great. It paid for most things, but near the end, we had hit our limits and the bills started to pile up.

“Cheryl pulled away from me, from Nate. She had a hard time even going to the hospital to see him at the end. Said it was too hard. I had lost my job at this point, and spent all of my time at the hospital with him. I couldn’t imagine what could possibly keep a woman from her child, especially when he was as sick as he was.”

A muscle ticked in Grey’s jaw, and I figured he was done talking, but I gave him a few minutes to live in the memory. He surprised me when he kept going, and it was this last information that explained so much of why he never spoke of his late wife.

“I was at the hospital with Nate one night, and a nurse came in to get me. She told me that Cheryl had been in a car accident and was in the emergency room. When I got down there, she was this broken mess. She was still alive, but her neck was broken, and doctors told me that if she survived, she would probably be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.”

“I remember staring down at her and wondering if I wanted her to live or die. I was about to lose my son, so there was a part of me that wanted her to live, but another part of me knew that Cheryl would hate to live in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She was too vain.”

The pain came off of Grey in waves as he relived the memories. I shifted closer and lay down beside him, resting my head on his arm and placing my hand on his chest, just under his heart. His left hand came up to lie over it.

“In the bed next to Cheryl, there was a guy she worked with. They had just gone out to dinner, he was under the influence. She’d been having an affair with him.” He sighed, “She was screwing around with that guy while I sat at our dying son’s bedside day after day. What kind of a mother does that?”

“Not a good kind,” I said softly.

“A week later, Nate died—and six days later, Cheryl died of complications. I had lost them both in less than two weeks.”

I kissed his shoulder and slowly let my hand caress his chest—not in a sexually stimulating way, but in a way that he would know someone who cared was there with him.

“There is something else; something that I never told anyone.”

“If you want to tell me, you can. If you don’t, you don’t have to.”

Grey was quiet for a few moments. The solid thump of his heart beat under my hand, and I studied the whiskers on his cheek.

“I have a few friends on the police force. One of them got me a copy of the accident report. It turns out the guy was drunk, and so was Cheryl. She was giving him a blow job while he drove. He crossed the double yellow, hit another car head on. His air bag deployed and that is what broke Cheryl’s neck.”

“Oh, my God.” The words came out in a soft rush and my hand went to his cheek. I turned his face toward me, “Grey, I’m so sorry.”

Our faces were inches apart, and I saw the painful memories visible in his eyes. A single tear fell from his eye toward the dock.

I hated the woman I had never met. How could someone leave her child alone in a hospital and cheat on a man like Grey. He deserved so much more, so much better.

I lifted my head and brought my lips to his. The intent of my kiss was to tell him that he wasn’t alone anymore, and that I understood the pain and betrayal that he had endured. Our lips touched briefly on a whisper, and I pulled back to look down into his bright blue eyes.

“You deserve so much more,” I said as I stared down at him.

“So do you,” he said, and I felt his hand come to the back of my neck. He only had to nudge my head forward for me to return to the safety of his lips.

As they touched, his arms wrapped around me, and I shifted to get closer. This kiss was the most heartfelt thing I had ever felt. He had just bared his soul to the one woman who would understand it and not judge him on it.

His hand slipped down my back and under my t-shirt. The rough skin of his fingers brushed over my skin, and I had never enjoyed the feeling more than I did at that moment.