Barbara Samuel (39 page)

Never mind.
La Señora
spoke all languages, and it was to her that Placida prayed tonight. She knelt in the cool quiet of the church, focusing on the statue of
La Señora
at the back.
“Señora,”
Placida said in her mind, her forehead pressed against her thumbs which held the rosary of rosewood she saved for special times like this one. “I am an old woman and asked for the wrong things. Forgive me for thinking I know more than
Nue-stro Padre
, and help me now to fix this mess I have made.”

Her mistake had not been in asking for a wife for Tomás, because a wife he needed, and it was the way of men and women to travel in pairs. She could not go until he had a wife that would stick.

But her error had been in thinking she knew which woman would be that wife. Placida had thought to help the little girl’s mama—the sad widow who wanted to crawl into the grave behind her husband. Help Tomás, help the widow, help the girl. All would be well.

Instead, the Madonna had brought that sturdy strapping white girl. Placida didn’t even know her family. Sally, the widow, was a good woman, who had been in church every week and did not carry on or go to the bars looking for men even though her heart was breaking. She was a good Spanish woman, who would make Tomás a good wife and had already a daughter Tomás could raise.

But that was the wrong thing to ask. “Forgive me,
Madre,”
Placida whispered. “Bring him the one who will stick. That’s all.” She bent her head, her neck so weary from praying so many, many years, and said, “The one who will stick.”

Just after Luna and Joy got home after their trip to Dairy Queen, a cold front blustered into town on a hard wind, dropping the temperature in town thirty degrees over an hour’s time. By nightfall, Luna had to turn the heat on in her house for the first time this season, and it sent a smell of old dust through the rooms as she chopped veggies for their Saturday night supper. Kitty wouldn’t be there, of course, but Allie would be, and Elaine was driving down from Raton as always. Luna had tried calling Sally and Maggie, but there had been no answer. Still, you never knew. She’d try again in a little while.

Joy camped in her bedroom with the phone, her music finally low enough that Luna could play something a little less … agonizing … on the small CD
player in the kitchen. She put on “White Bird” again, thinking of Thomas, wondering if she’d always listen to this and think of him kissing her, and if it would always be a good memory. Last night had been—well, equal parts alarming and thrilling.

Allie showed up at six, her hair a wild tangle, her cheeks ruddy from the short dash from the car. Her dog tripped on himself trying to get in, and nearly knocked both Allie and Luna down. “Jack!” Allie cried, scolding, but he was already on his way to Joy’s room, where he sat down and scratched hard. Joy opened the door, let him in with a wave at Allie, and closed the door again, the phone firmly stuck to her ear through the whole process. Allie grinned. “Must be a boy.”

“He’s really cute, too,” Luna said. She took the fondue pot Allie was carrying into the kitchen. “Come on in here for now.”

“I haven’t made a fondue in ten years,” she said. “That thing was so dusty you wouldn’t believe it.”

“It’s one of Joy’s favorite things,” Luna said. “I got my mother’s pot, but I wanted to do two—one cheese, one chocolate.” She gestured to the counter, covered with bananas and cherries and strawberries, and angel food cake for the chocolate; broccoli, bread, and an assortment of other veggies for the cheese.

“Yum.” Allie lifted a lid on a saucepan over the stove. “You’re cooking? Like, from scratch?”

Luna grinned. “Yes. My mother assured me that even I could manage fondue without much trouble, and if you’ll taste it, smarty-pants, you’ll see that she was right.”

“Smells great.” She plucked a square of sourdough bread off the counter and dipped it into the pot of cheese. Popping it in her mouth, she said, “Mmm! That’s not just good—it’s fantastic! What’s the secret?”

“I am not at liberty to say.” It was a half can of beer, but Kitty didn’t give out her recipes. “She would only write it down for me because I’m blood.”

Allie laughed. “God, I love your mother.”

“Me, too.” Luna picked up a knife and started trimming broccoli stalks. She gestured to the strawberries. “You can help.”

“Let’s at least sit down.” She picked up the quart of strawberries and carried it to the table in the corner. “I want to hear about TC.”

Luna joined her. “What do you want to know?”

She made a huffing noise. “Everything.”

Again that strange resistance rose in Luna. A wish to keep it private, secret. Sacred. A vision of him, smoothing his big, heavy hand down her body, flashed in her imagination. “I don’t know what to say.” She kept her attention on the tiny trees beneath her knife, taking care to leave enough stalk to dip the top into the cheese. “He’s … amazing, Allie.”

“Yeah? Amazing how?”

A jumble of things came up—so many she had trouble choosing among them. “His hair makes me crazy,” she said, finally, smiling. “And he kisses me like I’m something very precious.” She thought of his comfort in washing her the first night they had sex and a ripple of something that was almost painful moved over her belly. “And he’s really earthy and really kind and he seems to really like me. Warts and all.”

Allie’s attention was focused on the top of the strawberry in her hand. “Sounds pretty serious.”

“I don’t know if that’s the right word.”

“Let me rephrase. It sounds like you’re falling in love, Luna.”

Luna lowered her gaze. Nodded. “ ‘Fraid so.”

“Oh, babe! You’re not supposed to fall in love with every guy that comes along!”

“I don’t,” Luna said, realizing this was why she’d resisted talking about Thomas to Allie or her mother or anyone else. “I don’t know how to tell you that it’s right, Allie. All the sensible things say I need to watch my back, guard my heart, take it easy. He’s on the rebound. He’s too gorgeous for words and there will always be women who want him and try to seduce him. He’s …” She paused, looking over Allie’s shoulder, seeing him in her mind’s eye, worried about his grandmother and Tiny and showing Joy how to fish. “He’s so much, he’s dangerous.”

“Exactly,” Allie said, and she leaned forward. “He’s the kind of man you have a lot of good sex with, somebody you keep a little at a distance because he’ll break your heart into a billion pieces.”

Luna was quiet for a moment. Neither of the Barbies popped up to give her any direction here, so she went with her gut and told the truth. “When I put my head on his shoulder, when he touches me, when we’re laughing together”—she paused, trying to think how to say it—“it’s like everything feels right. Like a circle is completed. It’s just
right
, that’s all.”

“Luna!” Allie inclined her head, “How long have you even been dating him? A few weeks? A month? How can you give your heart so easily?”

And to her own surprise, Luna laughed. “I don’t! Not to men. I don’t give it out at all. I gave it to my father, and he broke it. I gave it to Marc and he—”

“Fucked you over, big-time.”

“Who’s telling this story?”

“Sorry.”

“I haven’t given my heart to any man since Marc. I’ve dated. I’ve had sex. I’ve even had some relationships,
but there was always this big piece of myself that I kept apart from them. And maybe I’m just tired of living that way. Maybe there’s more to life than trying to be safe all the time. What if he really is the man I can love for the rest of my life and I don’t take that chance because I’m afraid? What kind of life is that?”

“Wow.” Allie slumped against the back of the seat, her pentagram glittering wildly in the light. For a long moment, she said nothing, only looking at Luna with speculation and surprise. Finally she said, “You’re right. I’m not there yet, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t.” She reached over the table and squeezed Luna’s hand. She shook her head, smiling ruefully, her eyes closed for a second. “I am
so
jealous.”

Luna laughed.

“He’s so gorgeous and he has that light all around him, you know?” Allie sobered, her eyes sad in spite of her smile. “The way he touched you last night, I could see it. That he’s going to take you away from me, and then I’ll have to go prowling all by myself.”

“You’ll never lose me, Allie.”

“Not true. Women always lose women when men come along.”

Pierced, Luna gripped her hand. “Not me, you silly goose. In case you haven’t noticed, I do give my heart, my whole heart and soul, to women. And you’re one of them.” She said it again. “You will never lose me. I promise.”

Allie almost teared up, but then she yanked her hand away, waved them both in the air. “Okay, enough of that corny shit.” She let go of a breath, and got a wicked smile. “Let me tell you about the wranglers I met last night, since you’re obviously not going to give me any juicy details yourself.”

“Oooh. You met someone?”

“Not met someone, met someone. I did have great sex, though. And he was only twenty-six!”

Luna laughed, as she was meant to. “You go, girl!”

“Oh, no! He went. And went. And went.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

She shrugged. “Guess we’ll find out. He took my number.”

The door to Joy’s room opened, and Luna touched a finger of shushing to her lips. Allie nodded. “Hey, Joy,” she said, as the teenager hung up the phone and rubbed her ear.

“Hey, Auntie.”

“New boyfriend, huh?”

Joy’s whole face lit up. “Yeah. His name’s Ricardo. He’s really nice.”

“Now that you’re off the phone,” Luna said. “Why don’t you try calling Maggie again?”

“I tried a little while ago. No answer.” She rubbed her tummy, frowning. “I’m worried. Do you think we ought to go over there?”

“Well, it might be kind of rude to go haul them out of their house to come over and have supper with us if they are not coming for some reason. You know? Maybe they’ve gone to a relative’s house or something.”

Joy sighed. “Well, there’s more to it than that. Maggie’s mad at me.”

“Oh. Why?”

“She kept telling me that there was a man she thought her mom might kinda like, you know that her mom kinda perked up when he was around, and she was trying to matchmake them, or at least figure out some way to match them up.”

Luna guessed. “Thomas?”

“Yeah.” Joy twisted her hair into a knot, showing all of her earrings. “I didn’t realize it was the same guy for
a while, and then I couldn’t figure out how to tell her, and it just got all tangled up.”

“I’m so sorry,” Luna said.

“No, no! I don’t mean that you shouldn’t like him. ‘Cause he’s cool, you know, and he likes you and you like him, and that’s good. But I feel bad that Maggie had this big plan, and I didn’t realize until too late that it wasn’t a good plan.”

“Okay. I understand. So, maybe she’s just taking a day or two to lick her wounds and you can make things up with her on Monday.”

Joy nodded without much hope, and Luna’s heart broke for her. The doorbell rang and Allie said, “I’ll get it.”

Luna smiled gratefully, and took a moment to hug her daughter. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetie. The path of love never does run smooth.”

“I know.”

Elaine came in, wrapped in an unbelievably ugly orange coat with dancing bears all over it. Luna tried not to wince, but she didn’t understand why her sister always picked the most unflattering clothes. It wasn’t the bears or the bright color—lots of people loved that kind of thing—it was the orange, which was just about the worst color Elaine could wear. And it was a pattern— the glasses were the least flattering frames she could pick. Her hair was fried to a crisp with a perm. Her face was bare of makeup and she was wearing pink stretch pants with green paisleys. With an orange coat.

This could not possibly be Kitty’s daughter.

Best Friend Barbie spoke up.
Maybe you could stop judging her all the time and give her a hand, huh? Maybe she just doesn’t know how to pick things out. It’s not that easy for large women to find flattering
clothes, you know. The designers think fat women are stupid and dowdy, so that’s what they make for them.

Good point. A ripple of shame touched her cheeks, and to make up for her nasty thoughts, she gave Elaine a hug. A big hug, one Kitty would have given her. “I was kind of worried that you might not be able to come, with the weather kicking up.”

“I’m going to stay at Mom’s house.”

Luna nodded. “Are you free tomorrow? There’s something I want to do, and I’m hoping you’ll do it with me.”

“I can be. What’s up?” It hurt Luna to see how much her sister wanted to be included. How could she never have realized how lonely she was?

“We’ll talk about it after a while. For right now, give me whatever luscious dessert you’ve cooked up and let’s get this show on the road.”

The phone rang and Joy made a truly impressive leap for it, a football receiver leaping over all hurdles to land the catch. Luna chuckled at her breathless “Hello?”

They milled into the kitchen, Luna not paying much attention until Joy snagged the back of her shirt, hard. “What?” she said into the phone. “Maggie, I can’t understand you. Try to take a breath and then say it again.” Joy’s eyes widened urgently at her mother.