Authors: The Last Kashmiri Rose
More or less, but not exactly. Carmichael sent in his papers just before the war. He wasnt particularly happy with Joan as I think I told you but all the same, he was pretty shattered by her death. Who wouldnt have been? But she left him quite a lot of money and, as I say, he left the army and went into business in Calcutta. Wine imports or something of that sort. He went into partnership with some box-wallahs, Gujeratis from Bombay, I think. They didnt get on. Not surprised about that not many people found they could get on with Harold Carmichael. He was very bitter. He was passed over once or twice and when the war began he didnt rejoin the regiment so he didnt go to France with them. He was very much criticised for having stayed safe. Perhaps Im being unfair. He wasnt very fit and as I say he was very knocked about by Joans death. They say demon drink took its toll too. I suppose he still lives in Calcutta.
And Sheila Forbes husband?
The regimental doctor and a good one by all accounts. He went out to France with the regiment but got a job in the Hospitals Inspectorate after the war and hes based in Calcutta too though I expect he spends most of the year on tour.
So, in other words, if we wearily tracked our way back to Calcutta we could perhaps see both of these gents? True?
Nancy nodded and said, Leave it to me. Ill do a little telephoning tomorrow, and added, I wonder what everybody thinks were talking about so earnestly? I bet nobody suspects that were at the throbbing heart of a police enquiry.
Throbbing? said Joe. Maybe, but not at the heart of a police enquiry. I ought to be saying, I say, old girl, you look jolly fetching, I must say, in that get up. And, I say, when am I going to see you? I mean see you properly? And, his voice dropping to a seductive growl, I want to see more of you! Am I getting it right?
Certainly, said Nancy. Jane Fortescue certainly thought so!
Jane Fortescue? Who on earths she?
She was just beside us when you made that remark. And dont imagine that wont be echoing round the bridge tables and the mah jong sessions tomorrow! And she went into her own imitation, My dear, who was that man, plastered to Nancy Drummond?
Not all that plastered, said Joe sadly.
With a riff of drums, the band fell silent and the voice of the compčre was heard. Ladies and gentlemen, please take your partners for a gentlemens excuse-me.
The Shropshire Light Infantry went dreamily into If You Were The Only Girl In The World.
Joe led Nancy away from the other dancers to the edge of the room and they stood for a moment together, Joes protective arm still unnecessarily close about her waist. A laughing thick-set young man tugging an unwilling girl in his wake bumped into Joe and excused himself. Andrew! So sorry, old man! Oh! Good Lord! Sorry again
not Andrew
er, oh, I say!
Nancy cut short his embarrassment. Harry! You find me in the hands of the police! This is the Commander Sandilands I was telling you about. Joe, this is Harry Featherstone, our Deputy Collector.
They shook hands and, muttering further apologies, Harry hauled his partner on to the floor.
Do you mind if we dont attempt a gentlemens excuse-me? he said. But I could do with a drink.
Come along, then, said Nancy. Its about time I introduced you to my husband. Hell give you a drink. Im booked for this one, though I cant see my partner. And she took him to a corner of the room where a middle-aged man sat with one long leg awkwardly askew on a stool and with two pretty girls sharing his foot rest. Thats my husband, she said. He may be lame and he may even perhaps be old but I cant help noticing hes never alone!
Joe looked and liked what he saw. Nancy leant across and kissed the top of his head. Andrew, she said, this is Commander Sandilands Sandilands of the Met as they call him.
I hope they dont, said Joe.
Drummond extended a hand. Excuse my not getting up, he said. Wasnt there a book by Edgar Wallace called Sandilands of the River?
Sanders of the River, I think, said Joe. But a book called Bulldog Drummond did come out at Christmas.
And this, Nancy continued, is my husband, the distinguished Collector of Panikhat.
They shook hands and as the two girls were led away by partners, Joe sat down beside the Collector who snapped his fingers at a passing waiter for a drink. Pink gin do you? Thats what Im drinking. Im so glad youre here. Rumours abound, I know. Nancy, bless her heart, has got the bit completely between her teeth seems to have Uncle on her side, in the presence of whom, of course, a humble Collector takes back seat! I really admire her, you know. She doesnt let things drop but
He paused for a long time and gave Joe a level glance. Tell me, Sandilands, he said, speaking confidentially is she on the point of making a fool of herself? Digging all this up after all these years? Could be, you know. Not trying to force a confidence, of course, but give me a lead if you can. Is this a lot of nonsense?
Joe decided to trust, his instincts. He judged that Andrew Drummond was a man in whom he could and must confide and said carefully, Its early days for me, you do realise that, Im sure. Ive only been here two days. But Im bound to say, as far as first impressions go
I think the whole thing stinks! How easy it is to criticise, and Ive no idea what facilities were available to the police or the coroner at the time, but looking at it now from the perspective of 1922 very sloppy police work. Witnesses not interviewed, statements taken on trust, no fingerprinting or blood typing done and more of the same. Im speaking without prejudice but you did ask me and thats my impression.
Well, Ill tell you something, my boy, said the Collector, thats been my bloody impression too! I wasnt here before the war and I wasnt here during the war and perhaps I have no right to speak and, God knows, I dont want a scandal to sweep through the station but if were really talking about murder, more than one murder, we have a duty, I have a duty, you have a duty. Police giving you facilities, are they? Oh, youve got Naurung in your corner, have you? Now theres one thatll go far! Spotted him a long time ago! With Indianisation going at the pace it is, I wouldnt be surprised if we were looking at the next Superintendent of Police but two.
Not, I fear, if his advancement depends to any degree on Superintendent Bulstrode.
Andrew gave him a shrewd look. It doesnt but I note your concern. I gather our local law enforcer has failed to impress?
I havent time we havent time for niceties, Drummond. We learned not to wrap things up in the war so I hope youll understand if I say plainly the mans an incompetent fool or else hes cleverer than I at first gave him credit for and is up to something I shall have to get to the bottom of. How well do you know him?
Not well. Hes been here on the station for years but, funnily, theres not many who would say they know him well, I think. He doesnt find policing the civil lines, the cantonment, particularly onerous, of course hardly any crime to speak of. No, his value and, Sandilands, it is a value, is in policing the native town. Not an easy task. Its heavily overcrowded, many different races and castes living on top of each other in the most squalid conditions. It could be a nightmare but Bulstrode seems able to keep the lid on with surprising efficiency. Not what you expect to hear, no doubt, but in fact, I have to say, he makes my life very easy.
Joe considered this. He speaks Hindustani well? That must be a help.
Hindustani, yes, and fluent Bengali which is what most of the natives speak. Many of us whove lived here all our lives do, as a matter of course.
A girl paused beside him to sip from his drink, extended her cheek for a kiss and went on her way.
Briefly then, Joe began, this is where Ive got to. And slowly his discoveries and suspicions began to unfold. Andrew Drummond listened with the closest attention, asked sensible questions from time to time and, as Joes account drifted to its close, he said:
Only one of the incidents took place in my time. We have the evidence of the photographs that Nancy took. The girls wrists! Im not Sherlock Holmes, still less Sir Bernard Spilsbury the distinguished pathologist, but even I could see she could never have inflicted the wounds herself. Now, if were accepting the alternative, that is to say it wasnt suicide but murder, were looking at a very clever fellow. A very clever murderer. Hed set this up with such care! Hes not going to make the foolish mistake of cutting the right wrist left to right and it occurs to my suspicious mind that this may be a mistake made deliberately to keep the police on their toes. To make sure that notice was taken. To draw attention to what hed been up to. Keeping his head well below the parapet but theres no doubt in my mind he wants us to know hes there! For some reason its important to him to announce his presence. What do you think? Could be so, couldnt it? And, if Im right, we could be dealing with an outstandingly nasty customer! Sandilands! Catch him for us! You catch him and Ill shoot him!
Ť ^ ť
Sunday morning and Joe settled down to breakfast. A pot of coffee (excellent), two boiled eggs (perfect), chappatis (leathery), butter (tinned, he suspected, and slightly off) and the most solid, uncompromising pot of Coopers Oxford marmalade hed ever seen. Good old India, he thought.
As he finished dressing he heard the tinny clamour of a church bell. Sunday, of course. Church parade, I suppose. Thats what Im going to do this morning set a good example for the honour of the Met. And, anyway, I might pick up some gossip. What was that womans name? Kitty something or other, the doyenne of Panikhat? Perhaps Ill make a formal call.
As he buckled his Sam Browne about him, he checked his pocket to make sure he was equipped with calling cards and set off, swagger stick under his arm, towards the distant church.
Thunderously in step with a rhythmic clash of nailed boots and marching rigidly to attention, the second battalion of the Shropshire Light Infantry overtook him and preceded him into the whitewashed garrison church. They took their places, noisily securing their rifles in the racks provided. Joe remembered that since the Mutiny, where a very large number of people had been caught unarmed in church and massacred, British troops now paraded each with twenty rounds of ball, each with his side-arm.
A rather sanctimonious-looking sergeant in the Royal Corps of Signals, acting as sidesman, looked him up and down and showed him to an appropriate pew, probably accurately gauging Joes social consequence in doing so. If it wasnt for the troops, if it wasnt for the heat, if it wasnt for the punkha beating overhead, he really might be in any suburban church in England. Automatically, he looked at the hymn board, read off the numbers and checked through the hymn book provided to see if he knew any of them.
All Hail The Power Of Jesus Name, There Is A Green Hill Far Away and wouldnt you know? Onward Christian Soldiers. His customary church-going ritual complete, he looked round, seeing the haggard face of William Somersham, gazing at the dutiful faces of Greys officers, taking in the mutinous faces of British Other Ranks in serried rows and alighting with pleasure on the dark head of the Collector and, with an unseemly lurch of the heart, on Nancy at his side. The Collector also was scanning the scene and, as his eye lighted on Joe, he gently nudged Nancy and raised a stately but genial hand in greeting.
The chaplain preached inaudibly, the Shropshire Light Infantry sang uproariously, the assembled mems added their fluted accompaniment and Joe was out in the sunshine once more. His attention fixed at once on a recognisable and formidable female figure Kitty, Mrs Kitson-Masters, conveniently standing talking to Nancy and Andrew Drummond.
Oh, Nancy! he thought. Could we get a couple of horses, ride out into the country, take a picnic with us, find somewhere to swim? Dash it, it could be work! We could discuss the case, we could pool our thoughts
Settling his cap on his head, he made his way over to them and saluted. Good morning, Collector, he said formally. Good morning, Mrs Drummond. Did you hear me singing in harmony in There Is A Green Hill Far Away?
Oh, it was you, was it? said Kitty. I heard it! Havent heard that since I was at school! You should come more often. Were short of male voices in the choir. There, I know who you are, or I would know who you are if the Collector would condescend to introduce us.
I was, said Joe, thinking I might do myself the honour of calling
She eyed him with a calculating and seeing eye, standing stiff as a ramrod, as would befit the widow of the Collector. A bearer stood beside her, parasol in one hand, hymn book, prayer book and service sheet and what Joe guessed was a bottle of smelling salts in the other.
Yes, she said in a decisive voice, do that, Commander. Perhaps you would do me the honour of walking back with me? We must leave the Collector and his wife to do the polite. Its usual after matins. Nancy, my dear, I declare, you get more the burra mem by the minute! Ive always seen myself as the senior lady on this station but Im going to have to watch out! Youll never be as good as I was but youll always be a great deal prettier! Right, then, come with me, Commander!
They set off together through the heat and dust. As they walked the call for sick parade rang out and Joe found himself automatically fitting the words to it:
Sixty-four, ninety-four,
Hell never go sick no more.
The poor buggers dead!
And as they walked, they passed two British Other Ranks, by their pale faces obviously new recruits, hands on hips, disparagingly surveying Panikhat.
Panikhat? they heard one say. Phanikhat
Phanicunt if you ask me!
Could do with a bit of that, said the other.
Yer, a nice dog an duck! Swhat we all need!
Joes face remained impassive as they passed by in earshot. He wondered if Kitty had understood this and from the increased rigidity of her spine as she walked, he guessed that she had and liked her the better for it.