BANKS Maya - Undenied (Samhain).txt (13 page)

She slid off the barstool and stalked over toward the table. Halfway there, the redhead looked up and blinked. Probably saw the kill look in Payton’s eyes. The woman nudged Wes’s hand and nodded her head in Payton’s direction.

By the time Wes looked up, Payton was standing over the table like an avenging angel come to kick some demon ass.

“Payton!” Wes said, his eyes widening.

The redhead’s eyes also widened. Then she smiled. “Oh you’re Payton. I’ve been dying to meet you. I’m Gracie Forsythe.”

“And I don’t care,” Payton said through gritted teeth. She summarily dismissed the redhead and turned her ire on Wes. “You cock-sucking bastard. You lied to me. If you would have just told the fucking truth, you would have saved me a trip over here, not to mention the embarrassment I’m about to cause you.”

Wes stood, holding his hand out to cup her elbow. She yanked her arm away. “Don’t you fucking touch me.” She turned to storm off but he caught her arm.

“Payton, please. Let me explain.”

Tears burned her eyelids but she was determined not to cry in front of him. “There’s nothing to explain, Wes. You made yourself perfectly clear last night. I was just too thick to get it. But why the lie? Why not just tell me you didn’t want to see me? I’ve been straight up with you from the beginning. You owe me the same, damn it.”

“Straight up?” he echoed. “How can you say you’ve been straight up? I don’t have a fucking clue where I stand with you. You haven’t once called me. I called the week before. I instigated the weekend in Houston. I thought it was time for you to call me.” He shifted his feet and looked uneasily away before continuing, “I didn’t want to come across as a desperate loser.”

She gaped at him. “You want to know why I didn’t call you, Wes? I was at the hospital all fucking week because my dad had a near-fatal heart attack. I didn’t have time to call you. I was too worried about losing my father. I spent the week worried sick and at the end of it all, I just wanted to see you. Be with you. No games. No scorecard.”

A tear trickled down her cheek, and she swiped angrily at it with her sleeve. “You know what? Fuck you, Wes Hoffman. I don’t need your shit.”

She stomped across the floor and flung the door open. Wes caught up to her as she wrenched open the door to her car. He caught her wrist, preventing her from getting in.

“Payton, no. You can’t leave like this. You’re too upset to drive. Please, just stay and talk to me.”

“Why, so you can feel less like a desperate loser? Drop dead,” she said in an acid voice. She slid into her car and slammed the door.

Her hands shook as she jammed her key in the ignition. Finally, she got the engine started and she turned her head to look behind her as she backed out of her space. When she got turned around, she spared one last glance at Wes who stood watching as she pealed out of the parking lot.

Wes watched her go, a relentless ache snaking through his chest. His fingers curled into fists at his sides as he sought to control the shaking.

Everything in the last two weeks came down to this. Payton was walking out of his life, much like she’d walked back in. In a whirlwind. Only he had no desire to see her go.

She was furious and he deserved every bit of her anger. He closed his eyes, willing the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach to go away.

He didn’t want to lose her.

“I like her,” Gracie announced from behind him.

He turned and looked questioningly at her.

Gracie grinned. “She was ready to kick my ass. She seems a little possessive of you.”

“She just told me to fuck off,” Wes said grimly.

Gracie shook her head and held out her hand to grasp his arm. She tugged him back into the bar and shoved him onto a barstool.

“I’ve fucked up, Gracie.”

She made a sound of exasperation. “You make it sound like you’ve already lost her.”

He looked bleakly at her. “Haven’t I? I lied to her. Now she thinks I’m screwing around with you behind her back.”

Gracie cupped his cheek with her hand. “Men are so stupid when it comes to women, I swear. Do you think that little show was because she wanted nothing to do with you? Hell, she was ready to scratch my eyes out. A woman who doesn’t care doesn’t go to that kind of trouble, Wes.”

“I’ve got to talk to her.”

Gracie nodded. “Yes, you do, but before you do, you need to figure out what it is exactly you’re going to say to her once you make her stop to listen.”

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. What did he want to say to Payton?

“You’ll only get one chance,” Gracie said softly. “Make it count. Don’t be afraid to lay it on the line. If you don’t, you risk losing the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

His hands trembled and the knot in his stomach grew. “How did you get so damn smart?” he muttered.

“I’ve been in your shoes, honey. Or don’t you remember my little hissy fit I threw at the cabin before running off like an idiot? Once I settled down, I knew I only had one chance to make things right with Luke, and it was too important for me to screw up. The idea of being without him…”

Wes saw the flash of pain cross her face as she contemplated her own words.

“And you know you’re going to have to explain about us,” Gracie added. “All of it. You don’t want to chance her finding out from someone else.”

He groaned. “I’ll be lucky to get her to understand my fucked up way of saying I’ve fallen in love with her, but when I tell her you’re only my best friend, but that I happened to have sex with you a few months ago… I don’t see that going over too well.”

“Are you holding her accountable for everyone she’s slept with in the past?” Gracie asked as she crossed her arms in front of her.

He gave her a sharp look. “Of course not.”

“And she won’t either. Or at least she shouldn’t. But if she finds out later, she’ll wonder why you didn’t tell her. It’ll seem like you have something to hide. Never a good thing.”

“You’re right.” Wes sighed.

“I’m always right,” she said cheekily. “Glad I can get someone to admit it. Now. You need to get your ass on the road. Track down your girl. I need to get back to my husband.”

Wes leaned down and kissed her hard on the cheek. “Thank you, Gracie. I hope you know how much I love you.”

She gave him a fierce hug. “I do. Now go.”

Chapter Fourteen

Wes pulled up at Payton’s apartment complex and heaved a huge sigh of relief when he saw her car parked in her slot. He’d called her at least a dozen times but she’d refused to answer. After the third time, his calls went straight to voice mail so he knew she’d turned it off.

He sat for a moment collecting himself, preparing for the biggest fight of his life. Not an argument, but a fight to keep her. To make her understand.

This was important. He hadn’t been sure just how important until he’d seen the tears she’d tried so hard to hide. And listened to her tell him to get the hell out of her life.

His heart pounding relentlessly, he got out and walked down the sidewalk to her unit. Once there, he rested one arm on her door for a long moment before finally knocking. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to his arm while he waited for her to answer.

He knocked harder then stood back, thumbs shoved into his pockets. A lifetime later, the door opened to reveal a very pissed Payton. His chest tightened when he saw the red streaks around her eyes.

“Can I come in?” he asked quietly. “There’s a lot I need to say to you.”

She hesitated and her fingers gripped the edge of the door until they were bloodless. Then she shrugged and backed away before turning to walk inside, leaving him to follow.

Once inside, he shut the door behind him and looked over to where Payton stood, arms crossed defensively over her chest. She looked tired. She looked small and vulnerable. His chest ached at the hurt he’d caused her.

He moved closer to her. “First, I’m very sorry about your dad. Is he going to be okay?”

“He’s going to live,” she said shortly.

He turned away for a moment and paced across the living room, hands behind his back. Then he swiveled again and stared at her.

Payton watched as a multitude of emotions crawled across Wes’s face. He looked uncomfortable, like he had a lot to say but no way to say it.

She emitted a tired sigh. She wished he hadn’t come all this way just to end things. She’d done a perfectly satisfactory job of that at the bar. If he had anything further to say, he could have left her a voice mail.

“I’m drawn to you, Payton.”

She snorted. “You have a damn funny way of showing it.”

He continued on as if she hadn’t popped off.

“And it scares the hell out of me. I shouldn’t need you like this so soon. But when I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you, looking forward to when I see you again. I can’t explain this thing between us. God knows I’ve tried, but I do know I don’t want it to end.”

Her heart did a funny little flip-flop in her chest.

“It didn’t have to end,” she said softly. “I didn’t want it to end either. There was no reason we couldn’t have seen where it could have taken us. I wasn’t the one keeping score. I wasn’t the one hiding behind some bullshit exterior, afraid that I’d be seen as too desperate or needy.”

He crossed the distance between them and took her shoulders in his hands. He looked down at her, his gaze searing holes in her face.

“I lied to you, Payton. Not the best way to start a relationship. And I do want a relationship. With you. I told myself I didn’t. The idea scared me shitless because I liked my life just fine before you swept back in and turned my world upside down. I knew that things would change, that I’d have to make concessions, meet you halfway. And the selfish part of me wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

“But I’m here because, Payton, I don’t want to be without you. Is it too soon to feel this way? I don’t know, but I can’t change that fact. I’m as sure of that as anything in my life.”

He looked away for a moment as if grappling with the emotion she saw so clearly in his eyes just seconds before. When he looked back at her, his eyes were suspiciously wet.

“Payton…I think…I think I might just love you.”

She smiled. A watery, pitiful smile that only grew larger with every passing second. “I think I might just love you, too, Wes,” she whispered.

He framed her face with shaky hands. She could hear the harsh exhalation of his breath. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, there was such love and relief, and a hunger that fed her hopes and dreams.

He kissed her. Lightly, reverently. Then he slowly pulled away to stare down at her. “What do we do now?” he asked hoarsely. “I’m so tied up in knots I can’t even see straight. I’ve never…I’ve never felt this way about another woman. It’s kind of like being drawn on by a suspect and realizing I don’t have a weapon.”

She laughed, a choked, husky sound. “I scare you that badly?”

“You terrify me,” he whispered. “I’m terrified of losing you. I’m terrified of not being with you, of not being able to touch you, to make love to you. In such a short time, you’ve become so very precious to me. I don’t understand it. I don’t care.”

Tears spilled from her lids and streaked down her cheeks. She went into his arms, wrapping hers around him. She buried her cheek against his chest, feeling the erratic beat of his heart.

“I don’t want to be without you either,” she said.

He held her, stroking her hair with his hand. He kissed the top of her head.

“I need to explain about Gracie.”

She stiffened and pulled away to look at him. “Who is she?”

Wes looked down at her and slid his fingers up and down her cheek. “She’s my best friend. One of them. She’s married to my other best friend, Luke.”

Payton relaxed and smiled, nuzzling her cheek into his hand. “I guess I was rude to her.”

He chuckled but then sobered. “There’s something more. I wanted you to hear it from me.”

She cocked her head and stared inquisitively at the strain on his face. A bead of dread trickled down her spine.

“Damn, this is hard to explain,” he muttered. “It’s going to sound worse than it is.”

She sighed impatiently. “Just say it, Wes. No bullshit. No games. Just be up front.”

“I’ve slept with Gracie. I had sex with her a few months ago.”

Payton blinked in surprise, and her chest tightened at the unexpected shock. “But you said she’s married.”

“She wasn’t then. And it’s not because we were together. It’s a long story, but Luke and I were fulfilling a fantasy for Gracie. She wanted a threesome.”

She took several long, measured breaths as she absorbed his explanation. She had no right to be jealous, but damn it, she was. “That’s some friendship you have there,” she muttered.

“I just wanted you to know because if I get my way, you’re going to be spending a lot of time around my friends, and we don’t have secrets. I didn’t want you finding out from anyone but me, and I didn’t want you to think I had anything to hide.”

She smiled and put her finger to his lips. “Shhh. I’m glad you told me.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Should I be?” she asked. “If this is going to work between us, we have to trust each other. You told me she’s only a friend. I believe you. Just in the future, I’d appreciate you being a little less of a good friend.”

Wes’s shoulders sagged, and he pulled her into his arms. His fingers tangled in her hair as he clutched her tighter to him. “I thought I’d lost you, Payton. You don’t want to know what that did to me.”

She smiled against his chest and closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry for being such an ass,” he continued. “I’m so sorry about your father. I wish you would have called me. I would have come and stayed with you.”

She pulled away and gazed up at him, blinking away the tears. “You’re here now. That’s all that counts.”

“I’ll always be here, Payton. We’ll figure out a way.”

She smiled, feeling the pull all the way from her heart. “I know we will. I figure we have a lot to learn. There’s still so much I don’t know about you, but together… We’ll learn together.”

Epilogue