Authors: Anne Stuart
"When have I been overbearing?"
"Since the first day I met you. Today is only a perfect example of your high-handed behavior. The children and I can take care of ourselves, thank you very much. All I have to do with Tom is threaten his pocketbook and he'll leave us completely alone. And I don't need you to do that. I don't need you at all." She didn't raise her voice, not wanting to distress the children, but her tone was low and bitter.
"You don't need me at all," he echoed lightly. "So last night meant nothing to you?"
"Apart from enjoyable exercise, no," she said, lying through her teeth. "And it's not something that I plan to repeat in the near future."
He stared at her for a long moment, and if he hadn't been a damned self-centered, overbearing man, she would have thought that was pain in his green eyes. "No," he said, "I wouldn't think you'd need to. I gave you enough exercise last night to last you for quite a while." He rose then, and she might have imagined that dark, sorrowing look. "I'll leave the papers with you. I made the appointment for you to go and talk with Herbert. He's the best custody lawyer in the state, but you can find someone else if you like. I'd still suggest you see him. I think you might underestimate Trainor."
"As you pointed out, I know him better than you do."
Don't leave,
she wailed inwardly.
Fight with me some more.
A cynical smile lit his face. "As I also said before, lassie, you're a pigheaded viper. But I'll wait for you, as long as need be."
"Wait for what?" Why did she sound so hostile?
"Wait for you to realize you belong with me."
"I don't belong to anyone!" she shot back furiously.
"As usual you didn't listen. I said you belong
with
me, not to me. There's a difference, woman. And I'm a patient man. I'll wait for you to learn it."
And then he was gone.
Marianne broke the casserole setting it on the table in front of the children, smashing the heavy earthenware into a pile of pottery shards and steaming noodle glop. Eric and Shannon ate peanut-butter sandwiches and went to bed early, while Marianne bustled around, stripping last night's sheets off the bed, rearranging her furniture, whistling determinedly. When she finally got between the cool, clean sheets, all alone in the big old bed, she lay there in the moonlit darkness and missed Andrew.
How had the bed managed to get so wide? How had her life managed to get so empty?
Rolling over, she punched her lumpy pillow, and a cloud of feathers spurted out. She was just drifting off into a trouble sleep when she remembered the stranger in the sports car who had driven past her to Jessica's house. And hadn't driven back down, as far as she knew. She lay there for a moment, wondering what Jessica was doing right then. Probably sound asleep, Marianne thought grumpily. And then she fell asleep herself, hugging the pillow that still smelled faintly of Andrew's pipe.
At that moment Jessica wasn't sound asleep. She wasn't even in her bedroom. The house was still and silent at eleven-thirty, and she was tiptoeing down the cellar steps to the garage under the house, Matthew's sleeping form cradled in her arms, a bulky bag of diapers, formula and various baby paraphernalia swinging from one shoulder.
It hadn't been the most reassuring afternoon and evening. Springer would barely let her get within touching distance of her son, and his entire conversation seemed to consist of threatening double en-tendres, all about how Matthew would like the West Coast, how mothers were dispensable, how judges were giving fathers more and more rights. This was accomplished in a gently smiling, casual fashion, and his dark eyes bore down into hers with implacable hatred. Or so she told herself.
She hadn't given it much thought. She'd headed for her bedroom the moment she put Matthew down, and that had precipitated another crisis.
He'd caught her at the head of the stairs, his strong,
callused hand holding her arm in a hard grip just short of bruising. Except that she bruised very easily, with her pale skin and pale hair.
"Where are you going?"
"I told you, to bed. I said good-night," she said, hating the defensive note in her voice.
"I realize that. What room?" He was mockingly patient, and his hand on her arm was inexorable, the skin seeming to burn her flesh.
"My room. The one under the eaves," she clarified. "Do you have any problem with that?"
"As a matter of fact, I do. That's my bedroom—it has been since I was born. I'd like it back."
"No."
"No?" he echoed politely. "I'm not sure that I take no for an answer. That's my bedroom and my bed, and I'm going to sleep in it. Preferably alone."
Now why should that have stung? The last thing in the world she wanted to do was fend off a lust-crazed Springer. But still his words smarted, and she could feel her cheeks flush with color at his insulting drawl.
"Do you expect me to move all my stuff?" she questioned coldly.
"You can leave it in my bedroom if you want to—it won't make any difference to me. I would have thought you'd prefer more privacy when you dress."
"How long are you planning to stay?" she asked for the twenty-fourth time, still not really expecting an answer. "Don't you have a job that you have to get back to?"
He smiled then, that cool, nasty little smile that was becoming so familiar. "I'm on sabbatical, little mother. All I have to do is relax and make the acquaintance of Peter Kinsey's son."
"Stop it, Springer!" There was the ragged edge of hysteria in her voice, and she swallowed it with difficulty. "Please, just... stop it."
The punishing hand released her arm; he leaned back against the wall and surveyed her, a distant expression on his face. But he said nothing. Evidently he felt he'd said enough for the time being. He just stood there, watching her, waiting for his taunting to take effect.
"I'll take a change of clothes for tonight, and move the rest of the stuff tomorrow morning," she said after a long pause. "If that's all right with you."
"Just peachy," he drawled, unmoved by the look of absolute hatred she shot him then. "Take your time."
That had been one of many mistakes,
she had realized as she sat fully clothed on her bed, wide awake, as it drew nearer to midnight. There was no way she could sneak back in there and pack enough clothes to see her through the next few weeks. And she didn't have enough money to buy new clothes—all her meager savings account needed to be stretched as far as possible, until she decided what she was going to do.
She hadn't even decided why she had to go, or where. But the threat in Springer MacDowell's presence was palpable, she was a complete nervous wreck, and there was no way she and her son were going to continue on in the same house. Once she got away, had some breathing space, then she could think more clearly.
Matthew, bless his heart, slept soundly as she gathered all the clothes she could stuff into the diaper bag and lifted him into her arms. The house was silent-she could only hope Springer was a heavy sleeper. She really didn't know—the nights she had spent with him hadn't involved much sleeping.
The damned floorboards squeaked as she crept down the hallway, and she halted, breathless, motionless, waiting for the sound of his footsteps above them, the flood of light from the open door. Matthew shifted in her arms, snuffling, and the bag slid down to her elbow, dragging at her.
But there was no sound from above—all was darkness—and she breathed a silent sigh of relief, continuing her flight. Jessica felt like a disgraced daughter fleeing her Victorian father's wrath, and the slightly hysterical giggle that welled up in her at the thought threatened to spill over and betray her.
Just a few more minutes,
she promised herself.
And then I'll be away.
Matthew still slept that wonderfully heavy sleep he'd been blessed with since he was only three weeks old, and he barely stirred as she fastened him into the car seat. Her hands were shaking with panic and relief as she climbed into the driver's seat, fastened her seat belt, and turned the key.
Nothing happened. Not a whir, not a faint whine, not even a grumble. Just a little tiny click, and then that same, roaring silence.
There was a quiet little whimper, and Jessica realized with some surprise that it had come from her own throat and not her sleeping son. She tried the key again, knowing nothing would happen, and her foresight was rewarded. Another click.
She didn't even hesitate. Springer's pride and joy was parked beside the Subaru in the underground garage. Once, years ago, one of her sister Maren's boyfriends had shown her how to hot-wire her aging VW when she'd lost her keys. With luck she could still remember. How different could a 1963 Lotus Europa be from a 1967 VW Beetle?
She was scrambling around under the dashboard, looking for a lever to release the sleek, low hood, and having very little luck, when a large hand came down on her shoulder, dragging her from the car with a definite absence of gentleness. She was dragged upright before she could do more than shriek, and found herself looking into Springer's mocking face.
"Looking for something, Jessie?"
He wasn't wearing much, and for a moment Jessica wondered if he'd done it on purpose. The faded jeans clung to his mile-long legs, his tanned torso was bare, his arms long and muscled, his hands velvet-covered steel as they held her.
She wasn't going to whimper and squirm; she wasn't going to lie. "There's something wrong with my car," she said evenly meeting his gaze with a certain fearlessness that he might have admired if he hadn't seemed to hate her so much.
"That was my car you were ferreting around in," he observed politely.
"I was going to borrow it."
"And how were you going to do that? I had the only set of keys."
"I was going to hot-wire it. But I couldn't find how to open the hood."
There was no question of it, a faint, reluctant admiration did filter through his eyes for a brief moment. "You do believe in living dangerously, don't you?" His hands released her, and she felt the blood flow back through the cramped muscles. If he didn't watch it, she'd end up looking like an abused wife.
"I don't suppose you could help me find out what's wrong with my car," she suggested boldly. "It just makes a clicking noise when I try to start it. I can't imagine—"
"The distributor cap is disconnected."
She looked at him doubtfully. "You think so? I haven't had any trouble with it before. Will it cost a lot to have it fixed? What if it's something else?"
"It's the distributor cap," he repeated patiently. "I know because I'm the one who disconnected it. I thought you might have a midnight escape in mind, so I figured I'd better be prepared. I'll reconnect it tomorrow, after we talk."
She looked at him then, a slow, steady look that held murder in it. "What are you trying to do to me, Springer?" she asked quietly. "Are you trying to drive me crazy so you can commit me to a nuthouse and take my baby?"
"You've been watching too many old movies." A slow smile lit his face, and if it wasn't filled with the devastating charm she remembered, at least it was missing some of its heretofore lethal quality. "Though now that you mention it, it's not a bad idea."
"It's a lousy idea."
"Perhaps," he allowed. "After all, what would I want with Peter Kinsey's son?"
"Stop it. You knew before you came here whose child he was," she said hoarsely.
"I did. Peter and I happened to run into each other in New York, and we had a long talk. About a great many things, you in particular. He told me he never slept with you."
"Is this the time or place to go into all this?" she demanded, shifting nervously.
"Oh, I don't know." He leaned against his car, crossing his arm across his tanned, smooth chest. "This seems as good a time as any. Matthew's asleep, no one's likely to interrupt us. Why don't we discuss your past love life?"
"Why don't you go to hell?"
"Why didn't you sleep with Peter, Jessica? You were engaged to him."
"Maybe I didn't want to," she shot back. The lone bare light bulb was attracting all sorts of moths from the opened garage doors, and out of the corner of her eye she watched them bat against the light, helplessly attracted to that which would destroy them. She felt a sudden, gloomy kinship.
"Then why did you go to bed with me?" he persisted.
She looked at him squarely in those unfathomable, condemning eyes of his. "I don't remember having much choice in the matter."
It had the desired effect. "Damn your soul to hell, Jessica. I've never forced a woman in my life, and I sure as hell didn't force you. If you were possessed of any honesty at all, you'd know that. But you seem to have an amazing capacity for self-deception. Sometimes I wonder if you even realized that Matthew was mine."
There, it was out in the open. She didn't like hearing it said, didn't like it at all. Somehow hearing the words seemed to make them inescapable, as if, if they'd never been said, it wouldn't have been true. "I knew," she said in a quiet voice. "I just didn't choose to think about it."
"Didn't choose to think about it," he echoed marveling. "How many things does it suit you not to choose to think about? Anything unpleasant, anything not a part of your perfect, self-contained little fantasy world? The Ice Princess and her heir apparent. I don't want a child of mine brought up with so little regard for reality."
"What do you plan to do about it?" Marianne would help her, she thought belatedly. She could borrow the Toyota and drive it till it died. Andrew would help her. Maybe. Men had a nasty habit of sticking together.
He read her far too well, she thought. "I'm not sure yet. I only saw Peter yesterday—up till then I didn't really have any idea. You had me convinced when you were down in New York. I think Mother must have guessed. At least, she didn't seem that surprised."
"You told her?" Jessica was horrified.
"I told her."
"And I suppose she plans to help you take him away from me," she said bitterly.
Springer laughed. "You're paranoid, too. I have no intention of taking Matthew away from you, or even trying. I just don't plan on leaving him entirely to your tender mercies."
"He's mine," she cried.
"Damn you, he's mine, too. You're going to have to face up to that and any other little unpleasantnesses you've been avoiding."
"Why the hell should I? It's my life, and you have absolutely nothing to do with it."
"We happen to share a child," he reminded her grimly. "And that makes your life my business. That also makes this house part mine, too, and I intend to avail myself of it."
"For how long?" It was the twenty-seventh time she'd asked it, and this time she got an answer.
"Until I trust you."
"How long will that take?"
"I have no idea. It may take years. I have the time to waste. You're going to have to accustom yourself to it, little mother. The sooner you do, the sooner I'll be gone."
"I'll accustom myself to it," she said grimly.
A slow grin lit his face, and Jessica felt an unexpected tightening in her stomach. "I knew you'd see reason," he drawled. "In the meantime, why don't you take our son back upstairs and put him to bed? We can continue this conversation tomorrow morning."
"I didn't think you were going to let me carry him again." she mumbled, moving toward the car.
"Sure I will. You've got to realize that I've got three months to catch up on. I'm bound to want to hold him and feed him in the beginning. It will wear off soon enough, and you'll be nagging at me to change the diapers and put him down for a nap."
She didn't like the homey, domesticated sound of
that, any more than she liked that sudden, almost forgotten warmth in the pit of her stomach. "How long are you planning to stay?" Number twenty-eight.
He finally took pity on her. "A month, perhaps. Maybe two. Maybe three. It all depends. You don't need to worry that I'll put a cramp in your style. I intend to have guests up; you won't have to curtail your social life, either."
"How thoughtful," she murmured.
"Yes, I thought so. You want any help with him?"
"No, thank you. Matthew and I will do just fine by ourselves," she said angrily.
"Don't count on it."
Matthew went back down in his crib with not much more than a whimper. Jessica stood there for a long moment, staring down at her sleeping child. "What are we going to do, Matthew?" she whispered. Matthew slept on.
She didn't run into Springer's tall, sparsely dressed figure as she made her way to the front bedroom. She could be grateful for that, she told herself as she stripped off her jeans and sweater and crawled beneath sheets. It was one of the few blessings in a cursed day. And the worse curse of all was the most unexpected. That sudden flash of wanting that had swept over her when he'd smiled his wry, charming smile down in the basement garage. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wipe that memory, that wanting, from her stubborn brain. It was going to be a hellish two months.