Bane (38 page)

“So, besides trying to get my attention for a dinner date, what were you doing out on the beach this evening?”

I just shake my head and raise my eyebrow. Finally, I respond, “A waiter told me about the sunsets. I love photography, so I came down, hoping to freeze a moment from this trip to remember it always. What were you doing down there before I practically ran you over?”

“Just enjoying an evening stroll on the beach while unwinding from a busy day. Are you a photographer for a living?”

That makes sense. He seems like the business type.
“No, I just finished my junior year in college. Photography is really just a hobby at this point.” I shrug as I take another bite. My mind wanders to the interview I have scheduled shortly after my return. It’s with the same magazine that was interested in me prior to my parents’ death.

“Well, I would like to spend some time together tomorrow. Would you be opposed to riding in a car with me?”

We have finished our meals, and we’re both sitting back in our seats, sipping on our drinks.

I check my creepy meter, and I’m still not getting anything. “I know this is going to sound a little crazy and a lot naive, but you’re a normal guy, right? I mean, not some—”

He cuts me off before I have a chance to continue. He looks at me seriously and honestly as he speaks, “Alli, what do you need to feel safe? I just want to get to know you. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, I swear we’ll leave, and I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Just give me a chance.”

His words strike me hard as he lays it all out there. I know I shouldn’t, but I really do feel safe with this stranger.

“What do you have in mind?” I ask.

“I thought lunch and the beach would be good. How does eleven sound? I can pick you up here if it’s not too far for you or just let me know where I can meet you.”

The intimate way his blue eyes are penetrating me makes me feel as if he can see deep inside me.

“Here at eleven will work. Is there something I should wear or bring?”

The waiter comes and delivers the bill.

“Dress casual and bring a swimsuit. I’ll take care of everything else. It will be about a thirty-minute drive if that’s okay with you.” He pulls out some cash and pays for our dinner and drinks.

I’m momentarily distracted as I watch him put his wallet back in his pants, and then I realize I’ve taken longer than necessary to respond. “Sounds great. Thank you for dinner. However, I should be the one buying since I rudely ran you over.”

As he stands, he grabs my bag off the floor and then reaches for my hand, and I oblige.

“Alli, it’s been my pleasure.” He looks like he is about to ask me something else, but he seems to change his mind at the last second.

We leave the restaurant and walk toward the beach. He moves his hand to the small of my back as we pass a couple coming from the opposite direction. Those tingles return. Our time is drawing to an end, and it saddens me.

“I’ll meet you here at eleven tomorrow morning. Here’s your bag. Thank you for taking a chance on me.”

I take my bag from him and look up into his blue eyes. I am once again captivated, and I want to lean in to feel those lips, but I quickly pull back. It’s still too soon to kiss him. “I’ll see you then.”

From the way he is looking at me, I can tell he knows that I find him attractive.
The bastard.

As I begin to walk off, I decide to give a bold exit line. “Oh, and Damien?” I wait for a few seconds until I know I have his undying attention. “I’m glad fate had me run into you tonight.” I give him a wink before I turn and sashay down the beach without looking back.

Even if I make a fool of myself here, no one back home has to know. Reveling in the feeling of being on cloud nine, I decide I’m ready to live.

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THE RAIN PELTED my face, making my tears obsolete on the dreariest day of my life. I watched the wooden coffin being lowered into the ground with long leather straps. My world had changed in a matter of moments.

Part of me wished I could go back to those precious seconds before my mom had revealed the truth about my name. What I thought had been real was actually a lie.

A lie.

The coffin touched down on the soaked earth. Three men, known as Watchers in our private society, were to the right of the burial hole. They pulled the leather straps from underneath the coffin, causing a sound that had me gritting my teeth.

These were the last moments before my mom would be buried for all eternity. Forever is a long time. It has no end and no beginning.

The Watchers, men over eighteen years of age who had taken an oath of commitment to The Light, stepped away from the grave. Most of the time, they were nineteen before they officially took the title due to the extreme training and discipline of the teachings. Essentially, they watched over our way of life, keeping it pure and simple, ensuring all of our laws were followed. The outside world was filled with sin and was doomed. Sometimes, I felt the position was used as a way to keep females uninformed. Questioning thoughts were not appropriate according to the teachings.

The rain continued as the men put their hands behind their backs and looked toward the Keeper, the leader of our community.

We never spoke of the outside world. There were things we needed from it to survive, but we peacefully coexisted. All of my life, I stayed within the walls of our community called The Society. At the back of my mind, I always wondered what life was like beyond the borders.

Stoically, I stood at the head of the burial hole next to the Keeper. An eerie chill ran down my spine being so close to him. Normally, I tried to avoid his presence at all costs.

Lightning struck and I had to fight not to flinch. We patiently waited until the Keeper deemed it time to speak. The Keeper made all the laws and saw to it that visions he received from The Light became realty. I never understood what The Light was, but to question it was blasphemy. Basically, we were to blindly follow. Something never seemed right with that thought process, but that was life.

The rest of the community, known as Charges, stood behind the Watchers as their eyes casted on the casket.

Thunder rolled through the area as the rain came down harder. My bonnet pressed against my face as I spared a glance at the Keeper. He had on his black tall hat. His shock-white hair peeped out underneath the brim. Every time I took in his wrinkled, papery white face, I shivered. Something had always seemed off about him. My mind was numb as I tried to process the loss.

He cleared his throat. “My fellow family. It is a sad day when we lose one of our Charges. We’ve learned through our teachings that as life gives it must also take. Yesterday, it took our Anita and we will forever bear the loss. It is a burden we share that serves as a uniting purpose. Anita has left a piece of her light in her daughter, Sarah, which we are grateful for. Are there any doubters of The Light in our presence?”

Sarah.

That apparently wasn’t my real name. It was Kenzie Brooks. At least that’s what my mom had told me right before she died.
Did the Keeper know the truth?
Glancing up, I looked around at my fellow Charges and the Watchers, all dressed in black and white.
Does anyone else know who I am?
My mind was numb with everything I tried to process.

Everyone in unison replied, “No Keeper. We are a unified group.”

The Keeper knelt and picked up a handful of mud, then threw the glob on my mom’s coffin. “May we always be a unified group, in life and death.”

The Keeper’s somber words had me wanting to fall and weep. That action would be frowned upon so I stood strong. Per the teachings, extreme emotions led to the sin that had condemned the outside world. I was supposed to accept my mom’s death as something The Light wanted and be grateful she had been chosen to go home. In reality, grateful was the farthest emotion I felt. Selfishly, all I wanted was my mom back.

We stood there and I watched the mud splotch begin to dissipate through the droplets of rain that landed on the coffin, disappearing into nothingness. I wished I could fade away versus dealing with the new revelations my mom had shared with me.

The Keeper put his hands on my shoulder and I inwardly cringed while remaining outwardly unaffected. “We shall proceed to the community hall to eat. Today shall be a meal with no talking as we reflect on The Light that burns within us. Sarah shall be allowed her evening of mourning and tomorrow we shall help her cleanse her home.”

No one responded as it wasn’t a question, but essentially a command. To waste time and energy on frivolous things was frowned upon.

Mourning time was limited in The Society. After lunch, everyone would be expected to return to life as normal, except me. The teachings said that to focus on death too long was to fuse in a disease that would eat away at the whole of our community. Having now experienced true heartache, the rule made no sense to me. All I wanted to do was fall to the ground and weep for days.

Turning, the Keeper stepped away. The Watchers followed. Not a Charge moved from their spot until the last Watcher had passed by me. It was a sign of respect. My best friend, Matthew, walked by me and his fingers grazed mine. Feeling his kindness and sympathy had my lips trembling for a mere moment. Matthew was nineteen and had recently been named a Watcher. Since his induction ceremony, our time together had been limited. I missed him.

I turned and followed the slow procession. The dirt paths were muddy and my laced-up boots splashed mud on the hem of my soaked, black dress. The old white, wooden community hall doors creaked open as we entered in. None of the Watchers or the Keeper wiped their feet and tracked mud along the wooden floor.

It was evident the Charges did all of the cleaning as they passed over the threshold. The Charges tried to wipe as much mud off our shoes as possible in the two seconds our feet touched the rug to lessen the cleaning time. To delay and keep people from entering was inconsiderate.

No one said a word as we took our seats and the Keeper stood at the front of the room. The Watchers sat at the long wooden table behind him. All of the Charges sat in rows perpendicular to the Watchers.

Matthew took a position toward the end of the table facing the room. For a brief second, our gazes locked before he looked at the plate being placed in front of him. Those crystal-blue eyes framed with blond hair were filled with compassion. Watchers were always served first. Charges were required to get their own plates unless it was a meal of reflection.

The Keeper removed his hat. “Let’s use this time to reflect on the legacy that Anita left. Use it to brighten our own lights. Let the food give us the energy we need to continue our mission of living the right way. Outside these walls of our community, sin has filled the people and damned them for all eternity. I am thankful we were chosen by The Light.”

We chimed in as a unified group. “To the light that Anita left behind.”

Is Anita my mom’s real name?
My mom hadn’t said last night as she told me my true name before she died.
Kenzie Brooks.
The name seemed fitting but foreign at the same time.
I am not Sarah. I am Kenzie.
I liked the name Kenzie.

The boiled potatoes and stewed beef were barely palatable as I forced myself to eat. The quiet clanking of utensils against the metal plates filled the silence. At least it had quit raining.

As soon as it was acceptable for me to leave, I would head back home and find the letter my mom had told me about last night on her deathbed.

There hadn’t been time last night. During the last hours of a Charge, before they pass, the community gathered at your home to show support. I had only been allowed to be alone with Mom for a few brief minutes. Then she had left me.
Forever.

From that point forward, there had been someone with me the entire time, and I hadn’t been able to look for the letter that was supposed to contain a better explanation. Tonight, I would be alone to mourn my mom and would find it then.