Badger the Mystical Mutt and the Barking Boogie (8 page)

The next morning, Badger was in the lane picking up his p-mails when he caught sight of Cheryl and Dodgy Dave up ahead, dancing together in silence.

“Have you two been practising since last night?”

They both nodded, then Dodgy Dave added, “But it's really tricky without any music.”

“Ah!” said Badger. “I think I know who can help. Leave it with me.”

He turned and trotted to the other end of the lane where the Alley Cats lived.

Trixie Rose, Velvet Viv and Silky Smith, the local moggies, were busy preening themselves on top of the wall.

“Hello, Badger,” purred Velvet Viv. “Unusual to see you in
our
manor.”

“That's because I have a favour to ask you. Do you still have your old Meowzik Maker?”

“We do indeed. Why so?” asked Silky Smith.

“Fantastic. Could you bring it to the top of the lane and make it play something groovy?”

“Of course. But what's in it for us if we do?” asked Trixie Rose.

Badger thought for a moment, then sparkles of light twinkled around his nose. His eyes brightened as an idea popped into his head.

“I'll teach you my special fishy dishy spell.”

“That's good enough for me. Let's go, girls. We'll meet you there,” said Velvet Viv.

“Wooftastic!” shouted Badger, already running back to tell Dodgy Dave and Cheryl the good news.

Before Badger could reach the other end of the lane, the Alley Cats had already arrived with their famous Meowzik Maker.

“What's that?” asked Cheryl.

The alley cats slinked around it and said, “Watch and learn.”

When Badger caught up, he saw a large box with a big black disc spinning on top. A funnel-shaped contraption hovered above the box, and Silky Smith was sharpening her claws on a nearby stone.

The Alley Cats joined their paws together, then Silky Smith placed her sharpest claw onto the black disc.

Suddenly, Velvet Viv began to vibrate, until Trixie Rose shouted, “Stop!” She grabbed Badger and stood him next to her. “You're the woofer, now we need a tweeter!” She fixed her steely eyes on a nearby sparrow. The bird flew onto Badger's head and began to tweet. Trixie Rose pulled Badger's ear and ordered him to bark.

“Right!” she said.” Hit it, girls.”

The Meowzik Maker burst into song with a
boom cha-cha, boom cha-cha, boom cha-cha
beat.

Cheryl's hips started to sway and her tiny paws tapped the rhythm.

“Come on, Dodgy Dave. We can dance,” she shouted.

Dodgy Dave took Cheryl by the paw and puffed out his chest. They danced in perfect time. “Slow-slow, quick-quick-slow, dancing down the lane we go,” giggled Cheryl.

They kept the Meowzik Maker running until well past noon. Dodgy Dave and Cheryl took a bow, and thanked Badger and the Alley Cats for all their hard work, not forgetting the sparrow for its tuneful tweets.

“I must go and rest now, to be ready for the finale tonight,” panted Cheryl.

“If you shake those hips like that tonight, you'll get top marks,” purred Trixie Rose.

Cheryl blushed. “Thank you so much, Trixie. I'm going to wear my lucky pink sequinned collar and my silver locket.”

“Wow, Dodgy Dave, you rock!” said Badger appreciatively.

“Thanks, Badger. I'm still a bit nervous about the gang showing up,” said Dodgy Dave.

“Remember your grandfather and you'll be just fine,” said Badger, patting his back. Later that night, all the animals were assembled in the concrete alley at the end of the lane, for the finale of the
Hotpaws Barking Boogie
. The bins had been polished, the litter had been moved and the ground had been swept. Badger stood at the back, watching and waiting. The gang fidgeted at the side.

Big Folk Anton Du Bark, the show's producer, sat behind the judging panel awaiting the first dancing dogs.

An Afghan hound and a whippet took the floor and danced an upbeat jive to a jumping rhythm.

“They just look stupid dancing like that,” Snif sneered to the rest of the gang, who all nodded in agreement.

When they finished the judges held up their score cards: five paws, four paws and seven paws, totalling a good score of sixteen paws. Cheryl and Dodgy Dave waited behind the wheelie bins anxiously.

“The top score is thirty, Cheryl,” Dodgy Dave reassured her. “So we still have a chance.”

A white Scottish Terrier and a Dandie Dinmont were up next. They marched onto the dance floor, lifted their heads and danced a vigorous Highland fling to the sound of bagpipes and accordions. When they had finished they bowed their heads and looked hopefully over to the judges' panel. One by one, the judges held up their score cards: seven paws, eight paws and ten paws. The audience gasped.

“Wouldn't those two be better off chasing haggis?” growled Pickle to the rest of the gang. Badger frowned.

Cheryl looked at Dodgy Dave and said, “We'll never beat that. That was amazing. They got twenty-five out of thirty. That's almost a full round of up-paws.”

“We can only do our best, Cheryl. Come on. We're next! Let's just enjoy ourselves.”

As Dodgy Dave led Cheryl out onto the floor, the Alley Cats made an appearance and shook their shakers at the side. The gang looked at each other in utter horror. How could their leader, Dodgy Dave, embarrass them like this?

When the music started, Dodgy Dave moved towards Cheryl in a slow paw shuffle then Cheryl sashayed around him to the mambo beat. They looked like they had been dancing together all their lives. They were so swept up in their cha-cha-cha that Anton Du Bark had to tell them their time was up.

They stopped reluctantly, bowed and looked around at the audience who was in raptures. Nervously, they waited for the results. The judges talked amongst themselves and then Anton Du Bark was the first to hold up his score card. It was a TEN!

Cheryl took a sharp intake of breath, and Dodgy Dave squeezed her paw in excitement.

The next scorecard was held up. It, too, was a TEN.

The audience, Badger, Cheryl and Dodgy Dave all held their breath.

At last, the final scorecard was raised.

The crowd screamed and Cheryl fainted. Another TEN! In all the previous
Hotpaws Barking Boogies
, no couple had ever received a full score of thirty.

Anton Du Bark tapped his microphone and announced, “As winners of this year's
Hotpaws Barking Boogie
, would Cheryl and Dodgy Dave please take the floor again?”

Dodgy Dave gently patted Cheryl's face and whispered, “Come on, Cheryl. This is our moment. We've won!”

Cheryl's eyes opened wide and she shook herself. Dodgy Dave held out his paw and helped her up. They stepped out onto the floor and Anton Du Bark placed a garland of flowers around Cheryl's neck. He then turned to Dodgy Dave and pinned a bright red rosette onto his collar. They took a bow and closed the show with a dreamy waltz.

Meanwhile, the gang were in an uproar, plotting Dodgy Dave's downfall.

Badger slipped backstage behind the wheelie bins to congratulate the winning couple.

“I owe you a huge thank you, Badger,” said Dodgy Dave. “You gave me the courage to do this. I don't know how I can go back to the gang now. I just want to dance with Cheryl for the rest of my life.”

“What's stopping you from doing exactly that?” enquired Badger.

“Everything,” sighed Dodgy Dave. “I've got no home, no food, no Big Folk and my gang hate me.”

“But you've got your red rosette, Dodgy Dave. You've got an amazing talent, and you've got Cheryl,” replied Badger kindly.

Just then the gang barged past Badger and strutted up to Dodgy Dave.

“You,” growled Snif, prodding Dodgy Dave's chest, “are no leader of ours. We can't have soppy softies who dance in our gang. We've had a meeting and you are dumped. I'm taking over as leader of the gang from now on. And as for this excuse for a dog,” he added, nodding to Cheryl, “we'll make sure she never dances again.”

“And you'd better scarper now because we've let the Dog Catcher know you're here,” barked Pickle.

Snif lurched towards Dodgy Dave and ripped the red rosette from his collar. “And you won't be needing
this
either,” he glowered, stamping the ribbon nastily into the ground.

Dodgy Dave looked sadly at the torn red rosette, and then at Cheryl. He held her face between his paws and whispered: “In order for you to be safe, I must leave you.”

He kissed her on both cheeks as her heart shuddered, and her eyes glistened. Then he nodded to Badger, turned on his heels and fled the lane forever.

He didn't look back, certain he could hear the Big Folk boots of the dreaded Dog Catcher thundering after him.