Bad Rep (12 page)

“Well, I have stuff I need to say to you and you're going to listen,” Jordan's voice had an edge to it and I bristled at his audacity.

“Screw you, Jordan.  I don't need to stand here and listen to your bullshit after the crap you pulled out there.”  I jerked my head in the direction of the bar.  I could see Eli talking to Randall.  He apparently didn't realize I hadn't come back from the bathroom with Riley. 

“Look, I'm sorry, Mays.  I didn't mean to lose my cool like that.  But he was touching you and I could tell you didn't want him to.  And...well...fuck...he was touching you!” he said in an agonized tone.  His obvious jealousy fueled my anger.  I leaned into him and dropped my words to a whisper. 

“And what's it to you?”  Was that seductive voice mine?  I licked my lips and saw Jordan's eyes drop to my mouth. 

“Maysie.” His voice was husky and he moved in closer to me.  I should back up, move away.  This was everything I didn't want but everything I craved.

“Why should it matter to you what he was doing?  You and I have nothing, are nothing.  More to the point, there is
no such thing
as you and I!” I hissed.  Then my shoulders relaxed and my gaze dropped to the floor.  “
You have a girlfriend, Jordan,” I said softly, my fury fizzling out the longer we stood close together in the dark space.  That pull I always felt around him was back in full force and I placed my palm on his chest and felt the hammering of his heart beneath my palm.  It was dim in the tiny hallway and I had a momentary flash of concern that someone would see us like this.  Because we didn't look very innocent, nearly pressed body to body as though we needed each other to breathe.

“It matters to me, Mays.  It matters a lot. I don't like seeing some other guy touching you.  Not when it should be me touching you.” His hand slithered up my side, until he was cupping the back of my neck.  I wanted to say something about Olivia.  I wanted to yell at him for continuing to mess with my head like this.  “I hated him calling you 'his girl.'  Because I want you all to myself,” he dropped his voice into a seductive growl. 

At that moment all I could think about was the fact that Jordan's lips were moving toward mine.  “I want to kiss you.  More than I've ever wanted anything,” he murmured, stopping just shy of my mouth.  I held my breath, waiting for him to make a move because I was too scared to do anything.  I was terrified of this irresistible force that was building between us.  And then I shocked us both.

“Then do it,” I whispered, licking my bottom lip in anticipation.  Something sparked in Jordan's eyes a split second before he slammed his mouth down on mine.  He pushed me back into an alcove, pressing my back against the wall.

His traced his tongue along the seam of my lips and I opened them, allowing him access.  Inviting him.  Welcoming him.  His tongue plunged inside and I made a noise deep in the back of my throat that sounded an awful lot like a whimper.  Jordan's hands dropped down to cup my ass and haul me up against him.  I could feel his erection against my leg as our mouths mated with one another. 

My hands slid up under his shirt and my nails dug into his back.  Jordan moaned into my mouth, his lips becoming more frenzied.  His kiss more urgent.  I wanted him to drag me to the floor and have his way with me.  I wanted to feel him buried deep inside me and yelling my name. 

What I wanted obviously didn't matter, because we were suddenly interrupted by a group coming to the bathrooms.  The girls chuckled as they caught sight of us tangled up in each other.  I pulled my mouth away from Jordan's and tried to push him back with trembling hands, only gaining a few inches of separation.

“We can't do this,” I whispered unsteadily.  Jordan's breathing was ragged and he rubbed his hand over his face.  Then he stared at me and moved his hand so it ran down the length of my cheek. 

“I've never felt this way about anyone.  Ever,” he told me.  The heat in his eyes had simmered down and now all I saw was tenderness.  And that scared me a hell of lot more than the passion from just moments before. 

“Not even with Olivia?” I cringed internally, hating myself for bringing her name into this.  But I needed to.  It had to be dealt with.  Jordan needed to be reminded that what we were doing was behind his girlfriend's back.  He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.  Our noses rubbed against each other and I didn't have the strength to move away from him.  He held me captive.

“Yes.  Even with Olivia.  Maysie, I have a girlfriend.  A girlfriend I've been with for three goddamn years.”  I felt tears burn my eyes as the nasty reality of the situation I found myself in washed over me.  Because hell if I wasn't falling for him.  And falling hard.

Jordan opened his eyes and looked at me as he grabbed my face between his hands and held me perfectly still, not letting me move.  “But tell me, Mays, why is it that all I can fucking think about is you?  Why am I so eager to take another guy's head off for touching you?  Why is it when I lay in bed at night I wish it was you there beside me?” he demanded almost angrily, his words causing my heart to skip a beat.  His fierce expression then relaxed into that beautiful tenderness again.

“Come home with me tonight.  Please.  Let's figure all this out...together,” Jordan pleaded, his hands sliding down my face until they rested on either side of my neck.  They felt so warm, so natural there.  Slowly, he leaned in to kiss me again.

God I wanted to go home with him.  I wanted to forget that there even
was
an Olivia.  But there
was
an Olivia.  And she would be home in a week.  And he would go back to her.  And I would become a shameful, dirty secret to be forgotten.  Jordan would most likely feel guilty and what if he told Olivia about me?   Where would that leave me? 

I would lose my sorority, my new friends, the life I had created for myself at Rinard.  I was pretty damn sure that I was just a passing fling to Jordan Levitt.  A flash in the pan.  I was also pretty damn sure that he didn't feel the same depth of emotion for me that I was starting to feel for him.  Sure he was attracted to me.  We had this undeniable physical chemistry.  Chemistry that was impossible to ignore.  But that didn't equate to anything resembling love.  And I think I wanted that.  No, I knew I wanted that.  And that frightened me.  A lot.

I also knew, without a doubt, that he would crush my heart.  Destroying my soul, my will, my entire being.  And I couldn't let that happen.

So I finally forced myself to push him away.  Jordan looked hurt as I shoved his chest with my hands.  “No, Jordan.  I won't go home with you.  I won't go anywhere with you.  This can never happen again,” I told him firmly, feeling our separation like a physical ache.   A new emptiness.  A hollow sense of loss for what could never be.

The fire in Jordan's eyes dimmed until it was as though it had never existed at all.  “But I thought...” Jordan started, trying to reach for me again.  I held up my hand to stop him.

“I don't care what you thought.  This thing going on between you and me ends here, tonight.  You are not going to do this to Olivia.  I know you love her.”  Swallowing hard as the words got stuck in my throat.  I felt sick.

Jordan shook his head.  “I don't know how I feel about Olivia anymore.  But, Maysie.  I
do know
that what I feel for you is real.  And it's not something I can ignore,” he implored, his eyes desperate.  I felt myself weaken but then I stiffened my spine and went in for the kill. 

“It'll pass. Now, I've got to get back to Eli.  He's probably wondering where I am.”  Jordan's eyes went hard as he let me edge around passed him.

My lips were tender and swollen from kissing him and I hoped Eli wouldn't notice.  I wanted Jordan to try and stop me from walking away, and I hated to admit that I was extremely disappointed when he didn't.  So that just proved I had done the right thing even as I felt my heart breaking into tiny little pieces.

Chapter Seven

I called in sick to Barton's the next afternoon.  I knew I was avoiding Jordan.  I just couldn't stomach seeing him after the turmoil he unleashed inside of me the night before.  I also couldn't stop thinking about the way his lips felt on mine.  It had been perfect for all of thirty seconds before reality had kicked in and had stomped on any chance there had been that something might have happened between us.

After my epic make out session outside the bathroom (how romantic), I had returned to the bar, feigning sickness.  Eli, who was still unfairly miffed with me, said he wanted to stay.  Asshole.  So Riley drove me back to the apartment and, for once, didn't grill me about what had gone down between Jordan and me.  I couldn't tell her.  I wasn't ready to talk about it.  I felt too emotionally raw.

So instead of going to work, I laid in my bed, watching re-runs of Beverly Hills 90210 and ate a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream.  I went into Bibi's the following day, which was a welcome distraction.  Layne had known something was off with me, though she didn't question too closely. I gave the excuse that I was just tired from working so much.  She urged me to take it easy and ended up letting me go home early.

So what did I do?  I crawled back into my bed and ate another gallon of ice creamy goodness and tried to forget the tattooed bartender who had bulldozed his way into my life.  Stupid dick wad.   

I hadn't heard from Eli, so I finally texted him saying I thought we needed to take a break.  Yep, I broke up with him over a text.  I was a serious jerk.  But I stopped feeling bad when all I got in reply was a short message with
whatever,
fifteen minutes later.  I may be a coward for ending things via text but Eli was a jackass so I was glad to be done with him.  Sure, he had had moments where I thought there was more to him than the slacker stoner.  That maybe he cared about me.  But after his fantastic showing at Barton's last night, I forgot about that other stuff and I was pretty sure that I didn't want to see him for a good long time.

I had finally returned to Barton's a few nights later.  I was both glad and disappointed that Jordan wasn't scheduled to work.  At least I was off the hook with trying to act normal around him.  I'd like to shelf that awkwardness for another time, thank you.  To the rest of the world, I was Maysie happy-go-lucky, sweet-as-pie, Ardin.  No sense in anyone getting wind of how close I had been to becoming Jordan's road kill.

Though, for all my bravado, I couldn't get the image of him out of my head.  The way he had looked at me as he told me I was all he could think about.  I couldn't stop the yearning to give into him and everything his eyes had promised. 

But as the days passed and Olivia's arrival loomed large, I tried to put my desires out of my mind.  Because when it came down to it, it didn't matter what I wanted in all of this.  Jordan was with Olivia.  Case closed. 

It was a Thursday evening, almost a week since my kiss with Jordan and I was clocking in at Barton's.  I hadn't realized I was just standing there, staring at the clock until I heard him come up behind me.  “You alright there, Mays?”  Jordan asked.  I peered at him over my shoulder and wanted to puke on his Adidas sneakers.  He smiled at me and I couldn't summon the strength to smile back.

“I'm fine,” I mumbled and made room for him to clock into the computer.  He looked at me with an unreadable expression but didn't say anything else.  It was obvious we were all done with talking. 

I stood there another moment, waiting to see if he would say anything more.  When he didn't, I suppressed a sigh and went into the dining area. 

My shift passed quickly enough.  Before I knew it, the clock read 6:30 and I already had $70 in my pocket.  Cold, hard cash was a great way of forgetting about an aching heart. 

I was hanging out at the hostess station during a lull in my tables.  Normally I would have been by the bar with Jaz, who was continuing her endless flirtation with Jordan.  But I couldn't face all of that.  So instead I hid out with Laura, the sixteen year old hostess, as she folded up kids' menus.

“Maysie Ardin!  I didn't know you worked here now!”  I looked toward the door that had just opened and my stomach dropped to my feet.  Olivia Peer walked in with Milla and Tabby, another sorority sister.  Olivia gave me a quick hug and I felt worse than something you scrape off the bottom of your shoe.  Well, hello guilt.  I had missed you.

“Yep, just started this summer,” I told her.  Olivia gave me a big smile and I hated myself even more for lusting after her boyfriend.  Olivia glowed with a golden tan.  Her long legs accentuated by her minuscule jean skirt.  She was one of those girls blessed with a tiny waist and huge boobs, which were currently on display in a low cut tank top.  Her long black hair hung perfectly brushed to the middle of her back and her big blue eyes sparkled as she scanned the restaurant until she found what she was looking for.