Bad News Cowboy (38 page)

“How long were you married to that asshole?”

“Eight years.”

“Something was seriously wrong with him.”

“Didn't really think much about it. That's the hazard of inexperience, I suppose.”

“It's not a hazard of inexperience, it's the hazard of sleeping with assholes.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, tugging at the waistband of his pants. He helped her get his jeans and underwear off, then ripped his shirt over his head when he realized he was standing there in nothing but a black T-shirt, probably looking a bit like a dick.

She didn't seem to mind.

He unsnapped her jeans and made quick work of the rest of her clothes. Then he stopped for a moment, trying to get a handle on his breathing, and just enjoyed the feeling of being skin to skin with her, every inch of him touching every inch of her.

“There is something I do have experience with.” She met his eyes, a determined glint in them.

“Oh really?”

“Yes, and you asked me what I liked. Well, I can't say I've particularly liked this in the past. But I'm feeling inspired. And I think we should follow bursts of inspiration.”

“Do you?” he asked, arching one eyebrow upward.

“Sure. If I hadn't followed my inspiration for this coffee shop I would still be living with my mother. Inspiration is a good thing.” She extricated herself from his hold and lowered herself to her knees in front of him. He felt like he'd been slugged in the stomach. The vision of Cassie, kneeling before him, her brown eyes locked with his, was something out of the fantasy he'd never even dared let himself have.

“Cassie,” he said, his voice rough.

But whatever he had been about to say was cut off, lost to him completely when she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock and leaned in, flicking her tongue over the head. She tightened her grip on him as she took him more deeply into her mouth, the edge of her tongue sliding down his length.

He laced his fingers through her hair and fought the urge to let his head fall back. He wanted to watch her. Wanted to watch this. The sight of her lips around him was enough to push him over the edge now.

And if that wasn't enough, the physical sensation had him ready to beg for more. Her heat, the slickness. But it was only an echo of what he really wanted. Where he wanted to be.

“Okay, Cassie, I'm going to need you to stop now.” He could barely force the words out through his tightened throat.

She moved away from him, her eyes glassy, her expression dazed. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No. You're doing it a little bit too right. And I don't want this to be over yet.”

He reached into her purse and pulled out the condom box, tearing it open and pulling out a plastic packet that he made quick work of. While he rolled it on to his length she stood, her eyes fixed to him, like he was a particularly decadent dessert.

He couldn't say he'd ever had a woman look at him quite like that before.

Part of him wanted to stand there and enjoy it. But a much bigger part of him wanted to be inside her thirty seconds ago, so he decided to forgo the pleasure of being stared at.

He pressed her against the wall, gripping her chin and kissing her deep while he took hold of her thigh with his other hand and tugged it up over his hip, opening her damp center to him. He pressed the head of his cock against her entrance and tested her before sliding the rest of the way in, gritting his teeth in a valiant attempt to keep from exploding.

“Fuck.” He said the word more like a prayer than a curse.

He flexed his hips, thrusting hard, and a rough sound escaped her lips.

“Too hard?” he asked, concerned that he was asking too much of her.

“No.” She put her hands on his butt, encouraging him to keep going. “If you stop, I might kill you.”

“You wouldn't.”

“I will poison your muffin.”

“You're ruthless, baby.”

“I am now. Ruthless about what I want. And I want you.”

He withdrew from her, then thrust deep. “The feeling is mutual.”

And then talking was impossible, because he was lost in the sensation of being inside of her. Lost in his need. His need to be consumed by her, to consume her. His need to have everything. All of her.

He buried his face in her neck, bracing himself as his climax started to build, as it began to overtake him. He didn't want to finish first. The other selfish guy who took what he wanted without a care for her satisfaction. He wanted to be different. He wanted to be better. He wanted to wipe all the memories she had of her husband away, and replace them with memories of him. Of course, he needed to be worthy of that, and he wasn't certain he was.

His limbs began to shake, his blood roaring through his veins. He slipped his hand between her thighs and rubbed his thumb over her clit, desperate for her to find her release. He stroked her, once, twice, and felt a shudder wrack her body, felt her internal muscles pulse around his cock.

That was all he needed. He let go, her name on his lips as he found his own release, as it overtook him completely.

He rested against her for a moment before withdrawing, looking around the small entry area. “No trash can?”

“No.” She laughed.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing is funny, really. Just...great.”

His heart started thundering faster in his chest, a feat he hadn't imagined possible, considering it was still raging from his recent orgasm. “I am going to need a trash can, though,” he said looking down.

“Oh! Of course. Well, you can come up to my place and use mine. And we have a few uh...left, and we can use the rest of those.”

Heat streaked through him. “You're very ambitious.”

“It's a new thing I'm trying. High standards.”

“I like the way you think.”

“I'm glad. Because I don't just set goals, I meet them.” She smiled at him, her determination and enthusiasm infectious.

He marveled at the difference in the way they approached life. She was breaking free. Uncovering all of the things she had kept buried for so long. In contrast, when he had left town, he had foreclosed on his feelings. Boarding them up, and leaving them vacant. Making sure he couldn't access any of them again.

Because when he opened himself up, bad things escaped. He envied her in some ways. Most of all he regretted the fact that she needed a man who was open to her, too. And he could never be that for her.

But he could be with her now. And if that was all he could get, he would take it.

CHAPTER EIGHT

C
ASSIE
HAD
NEVER
been so happy in her life. She was just focusing all her energy on not facing the fact that that happiness was a fantasy, and not reality.

Because Jake wasn't going to stay in Copper Ridge. Jake wasn't integrated into her real life. Her freedom was confined to the bedroom.

Well, that wasn't strictly true.

They had thoroughly explored their chemistry in several different rooms. Kitchen, living room, her bedroom and his. Not to mention the entryway to their apartments, which she could no longer walk through without remembering what it had been like to be pinned up against the wall by Jake while he thrust into her, hard and deep.

She smiled happily and put the lid on a paper cup, turning and handing it to Lydia, the president of Copper Ridge's Chamber of Commerce. The other woman was on her phone, but offered a broad smile and a finger wave as she took her coffee and walked back out of the café.

Suddenly, Cassie was overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness. Which was strange considering just how happy she'd felt a moment before. It was something to do with standing here in the coffee shop, not knowing how long she would have it. Not knowing how long she would have any of the things that meant the most to her. Jake among them.

He really was important. He was becoming essential.

But it was different than things had been with her husband. With Allen, it had been about maintaining a certain type of life. It hadn't ever been about him specifically, and she was sort of ashamed to realize that. To admit it to herself.

Being married to him had been about realizing an ideal, an ideal she realized...well, hadn't been ideal. At least not for her. It hadn't been about love, it had been about changing herself so she could be more acceptable to the people around her. And being with Jake wasn't like that. She didn't care what anyone thought about her and Jake. Granted, no one knew about her and Jake yet, but she already knew she wouldn't care.

But if she wanted Jake, in any capacity besides the temporary, it wasn't going to be a smooth path. It was not going to be the path of least resistance, nor one that earned her approval.

She didn't care. She realized right then that being with Jake was going to mean sacrificing that sweet, nonconfrontational comfort she prized. Interestingly, she didn't think anything she'd ever done had been sacrificial. Yes, it had been to please other people, but it had been about her own comfort. Not just about theirs.

She was afraid of confrontation, afraid of making people angry at her, because then they might not want her anymore. She'd gotten angry about losing her house. Her flowers. Her husband. But she hadn't fought for any of it. She hadn't even tried.

But Jake was changing that, had been from the moment he'd come to town. She'd pushed against him almost immediately. Had fought back, had demanded what she wanted.

And she liked that. Wanted to keep doing it. Wanted to keep being strong.

The revelation was shocking enough that it took her a few minutes to realize she was staring straight through Ace Coleman like he wasn't even there.

“Oh.” She blinked. “Hi, Ace. Did you need your Red Eye?”

“Yeah, late night last night. Another late night tonight.”

“The life of a bartender.” She started a double shot of espresso and filled up a medium-size coffee cup while the shots were running. Then she dumped the shots in the cup and put the lid on. “Here you go.”

She took his money and made change on autopilot, still considering what she might be willing to do. What she might be willing to sacrifice.

She looked around the coffee shop, weight settling on her chest. She knew everyone in here. Knew everyone by name. And when tourism picked up later in the spring there would be strangers for her to meet.

She would miss the building if it were sold. But it occurred to her that without a doubt, she would miss Jake more.

And just like that she realized that her decision was made.

* * *

W
HEN
J
AKE
GOT
back from the ranch that night he had a surprise waiting for him on his doorstep. It was his very favorite kind of surprise. A Cassie-shaped surprise.

Over the past two weeks she had become an essential part of his day. He didn't leave at night anymore after they were finished making love. He stayed. Mornings had become something wonderful, instead of something to be dreaded.

Because he no longer woke up to a blaring alarm clock, cold sheets and bone-deep exhaustion. No, he woke up to a blaring alarm clock and the warm, curvy woman in his arms.

And now she was here waiting for him when he was ready to drop dead from exhaustion after working on cleaning up the junk around his dad's old property. She was here, looking like home, and rest, and everything he needed right in that moment.

She had a habit of doing that. Looking at him like he was important. Like she saw all kinds of good things that no one else ever had. She smiled at him when she was helping him deal with ranching responsibilities—and when he was helping her bake scones for the coffee shop, because it really was the least he could do with all the help she'd given him.

Not a reserved smile, either. A real smile. One that made him feel like he could do no wrong.

He didn't think he deserved it, but he'd damn sure take it.

“Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.”

She smiled, and he felt like it was a tally in the relatively vacant win column on the score sheet he kept of his life. “Am I?”

“Very definitely.” He stepped past her, leaning in and dropping a kiss on her lips before unlocking the front door. “I need to get cleaned up a bit, though. Then maybe we can have some dinner.”

“Okay.” Cassie was vibrating with energy, even more than usual. It was one of the things he liked best about her. She had a lot of enthusiasm for what she was doing with her life, for life in general, and it only seemed to be growing.

He stripped his shirt off and threw it on the floor, wandering into the bathroom and removing the rest of his clothes before turning the shower on. It was an interesting thing having someone waiting for him when he got home. Something he hadn't ever missed, because he never had it. Something he realized now was most definitely missing from his life.

Don't go getting attached to it.
He turned the water to the shower on and waited for it to get warm before he stepped inside.

He heard the bathroom door open, and saw Cassie's silhouette through the textured glass. He could tell that she was naked, and immediately his cock started getting hard.

“I figured, seeing as you have me now, I would make sure you knew you didn't have to pleasure yourself in the shower.” She opened the shower door and stepped inside, all smooth skin and gorgeous curves.

“Pleasure myself, huh?”

“Well, what would you call it?”

“Nothing fancy. Just a little jacking off.”

She worried her bottom lip, looking like she was considering the words very carefully. “Jacking off. Serviceable. Definitely descriptive.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her nose. “I will never understand how you can make my cock so hard it hurts and make me laugh at the same time.”

“I don't know. I can only say that I'm honored.” She kissed his lips. “Honored both to make you laugh and to make your cock hard.”

“Nice girl Cassie Ventimiglia, talking dirty to me in the shower.”

“Nice girls know how to have fun, too.”

“Yes, we're smashing stereotypes all over the place lately.”

“No more talking.” She kissed him again, this time deeper, moving her hands over his chest and around his back, down to his ass.

“Demanding.”

She nipped his bottom lip. “What did I just say?”

His erection pulsed, arousal flooding through him. If she wanted to play this game, he was not going to stop her. She moved away from him, revealing the condom packet in her hand. She opened it slowly and positioned it on the end of his length, rolling it on.

“Foreplay is great,” she said, “but we don't need any of that right now.”

He was not going to argue. He reversed their positions, pressing her against the wall as he thrust deep inside of her. He kept his eyes open, trained on hers. It was a surreal thing, being here with her now, when just a few short weeks ago this had been nothing but a fantasy. It had been his own hand on his cock, not her tight, slick body.

It was real now, she was real. And it was better than he ever could've imagined.

Need built between them, each thrust bringing them closer and closer to the peak. She clung tightly to his shoulders as he rode her hard, and when they reached it, they reached it together.

They stood there, sated, and he didn't want to move away. He wanted to stay inside her. Wanted this moment to last.

“Oh, Jake.” He loved it when she did that. When she said his name like that, like it was her own personal revelation. “Oh, Jake, I love you.”