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Authors: Jean Burnett

BOOK: Bad Miss Bennet
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‘Alas, my fine fellow, you are right, but we must scratch a living as best we may.' With that he raised his pistol and blew the unfortunate man's hat into the trees leaving the poor fellow gibbering with fright.

Thus I arrived in London without my garnet necklace to which I had been so much attached. My pleas to the scoundrels that I was the penniless widow of a war hero fell on deaf ears. They would have our jewellery and would remove it by force if necessary. As I handed him the necklace, the spirited villain even had the effrontery to express a wish that we might meet again, telling me that his name was Jeremy Sartain – ‘known to my friends as Jerry'. The rogue was evidently quite fearless, not caring who knew his identity. He courteously left me my wedding ring – the one object I would not have missed.

I sat fuming in a corner seat as we resumed our journey to London amid much weeping and wailing of women, and harrumphing of men bellowing on about what they would do if they caught the robbers. The prospect of a hanging always fills the English with a sense of well-being. The robbers had made quite a haul of gold coins but I was the only woman on board with any jewellery of value. My companions offered me their sympathy and assured me that the garnets would be trafficked at one of the many ‘flash' houses in the capital by nightfall. When I looked puzzled they explained that such places were inns where stolen goods were taken and exchanged for cash.

I finally arrived that evening at the Caruthers' house and fell into Selena's arms bewailing the loss of my jewels.

‘Alas!' I cried, ‘I am quite done up …
frappé en morte!
' (My grasp of the French language is improving daily.) ‘What shall I do?' I sobbed, ‘I have only a few pearls and a small gold cross in which to go out and about in society. I shall cut a very poor figure.' Selena laughed and told me not to fret.

‘We are giving an intimate party here in a few days. There will be an opportunity for card games and plenty of flippant coxcombs and wealthy witlings to play with. I have chosen them with care. You will soon make good your losses.' Thank heavens for good friends. Especially those who are in one's debt.

I was able to write in my journal that evening that Curzon Street has proved to be a delightful spot, at least from first impressions. The sight of rows of tall houses, the traffic of carriages, the cries of tradesmen and the general
life
, combine to lift my spirits. I love cities, the potential for living is so great compared to the empty wastes of rural England.

I am vastly content with Selena and Miles and I am accommodating myself to their small eccentricities. It is obvious that their financial state is almost as bad as my own, but that does not prevent them from living life to the full – a philosophy I have always shared.

Selena was showing a greater fondness for gin and display than I previously remember, but no doubt that is due to her nerves. She takes full responsibility for the running of the household, Miles being amiable but useless for anything off the battlefield. He has been spending too much money on prints of a distracting nature (according to his wife), obtained from a certain Joseph Stockdale, bookseller and coal merchant, who keeps a shop at No. 24 Opera Colonnade which is frequented by most of the
ton
and lowlifes in the city. Yesterday, Miles showed me his most valued print depicting the Countess Godiva saving the city of Coventry. He was most put out when I burst into a fit of the giggles.

‘And the price is …?' interrupted Selena. When Miles told her she became faint and went in search of the laudanum bottle.

We have been frantically preparing for the
soirée
to be held here on the day after tomorrow. It was essential for my hosts to obtain some relief from their many creditors and for me to make some useful contacts, I have agreed to pay a reasonable amount for my board and lodging but I am eager to blossom forth into my own establishment.

The guests have been selected with great care, mainly for their wealth and their bad luck at the card table. Selena gave me exact descriptions of the most likely fellows. I may need to cultivate one for money and another for influence. I am determined to gain entry to a
soirée
at Almack's in King Street, St James's, the acme of society, but I must first find a sponsor. The assemblies at this establishment are frequented by the
ton
and the highest in the land. Great opportunities might come my way if I could but be included in their company.

Selena thought this scheme entirely unnecessary.

‘Surely you could like any good humoured man with a comfortable income?' Perhaps she was right and I was aiming too high but I have aspirations.

On the night of the party I decided to appear in half mourning.

‘Nobody here will be aware of my circumstances,' I told Selena. I wore a gown of pale grey gauze trimmed with violet velvet with a white lace fichu. I borrowed an Indian shawl of the finest work from my hostess. It glowed with deep, peacock blues and greens and purple.

‘Arrange your hair a little higher than usual and adjust your bodice a little lower,' my friend advised. Indeed, I may lose the bodice of my dress completely should I lean too far forward at the card table, but needs must as the saying goes and one always needs something to distract the other players. Indeed, I may add to the entertainment.

Selena had set off her blonde curls with a gown of white muslin banded with green and gold satin ribbons matching the gold thread binding her hair. My friend's fair, refined looks were much admired, although they concealed a will of iron.

I could barely contain my feelings of anticipation mixed with nerves as the hour approached. Miles offered me a little brandy to buck me up but I refused. I must keep a clear head. This could be the beginning of my new life. I am not generally a prey to nerves but I found that I was operating my fan so vigorously that he went in search of the mysterious draught.

The guests began to arrive at nine and we divided the company between two tables. Selena and I were the only females present. I sat at one table and she at the other. I would have enjoyed seeing the expression on Darcy's face at that moment, should he have been able to catch sight of us. Miles took up a commanding position near the window, striking a Napoleonic pose with his arm across his chest and his reddish hair
en brosse
. I think he disliked being out of uniform. Fortunately, he remembered that his task was to keep the faro bank and he quickly took up his position.

The men had already drunk liberally at other establishments and they continued in this way as the evening progressed. My neighbour at the table was a dwarfish, unremarkable fellow who introduced himself as Mr Getheridge. I noticed that he had enjoyed moderate success at the cards and I asked him why he did not continue. As he escorted me to the supper table he said with a slight smile that he was a banker and, therefore, cautious by nature.

‘Losing money does not agree with me, madam. I prefer to stop while I am winning.'

At the mention of the word banker I began to revise my former opinion of Mr Getheridge. He suddenly appeared less ordinary in my eyes. A lone female should always include a banker or two among her acquaintances.

He kept up a flow of conversation as he procured ices and champagne for me. As I had been required to contribute to the cost of the refreshments, I decided to enjoy them.

‘Are you appreciating what London has to offer, madam?' He gave me what can only be described as a leer. Without waiting for a reply he began to sing a few bars of a popular song, ‘London Town's a dashing place, for ev'rything that's going on'. I drew away from him, declaring that I preferred a good book. (This is not entirely untrue, dear reader.)

‘I confess I am a lover of the Gothic, sir. A frisson of horror enlivens a tedious afternoon, I find.' My companion positively twinkled.

‘I find that there are many ways of enlivening a dull afternoon, my dear!' Miles signalled to me at this point and whispered that Mr Getheridge was not only a wealthy banker but also a great lover of women.

‘He has a wife and family, but he keeps several mistresses at Brighton and London, in some splendour, I believe. They say he is a very devil between the sheets. You would not credit it from the look of him, would you?'

Miles returned to his duties and I returned to the tables, Mr Getheridge having gone outside for a little air. Selena and I paused to exchange notes behind our fans. Her winnings amounted to three hundred and fifty guineas and mine were two hundred guineas. As we also took a share of the house money we were quite content. We agreed to change tables at this point.

My new neighbour was a certain Lord Augustus Finchbrook, a young man with watery blue eyes, a thatch of pale blond hair and a weak head for wine and brandy. I hoped his credit was good. I was encouraged by his talk of the high perch phaeton he had just purchased, together with the two finest Arabs in the country. I gathered he was referring to horses.

‘You must come for a spin in her, my dear Mrs Wickham,' he said, slurring his words a little. He leaned perilously close to me as he spoke, peering down at my bosoms. The brandy fumes were almost visibly wafting from his pink ears.

I smiled winningly at him and said that nothing would give me greater pleasure but first I intended to win a large sum of money from him. He let out a neigh of a laugh and then muttered something that sounded like, ‘A demned fine little filly and pert as they come,' before promptly nodding off for a moment.

I poked him in the ribs none too gently before I shuffled the cards. The rattle of dice from Selena's hazard table could be heard in the background. Milord woke with a start and to my surprise he gazed wistfully across the room to where Selena was holding court at the next table.

‘That lady has a very purposeful walk,' he announced. ‘Indeed she is so purposeful that I am terrified to approach her. She fills me with alarm.' I could detect that my friend filled this young man with other emotions as well as fear. He showed a marked lack of concentration on the game, not seeming to care where or how he played. Meanwhile he continued to gaze across at Selena and I prepared to move in for the kill.

‘Will you play to win or lose, my lord?' I asked.

‘Oh, I always lose against the house so I shall play to lose,' he yawned, quite unconcerned. I proceeded to place the cards as the players made their bets, praying that the pagan gods of fortune would smile on me. I gave the gods some encouragement by using my special cards which were slightly doctored or sanded for the purpose. Wickham had shown me this trick soon after our marriage. Indeed, he knew so many ways of cheating that I cannot understand why he lost so often.

Chapter Three

‘You are enjoying good fortune, my dear.' Mr Getheridge suddenly appeared behind me and placed his hairy hand on my shoulder, squeezing it a little as he did so. ‘I admire a woman who is lucky with money. The gods smile upon you.' If only he knew the truth – yes, I would tell him! I turned and gazed up at him, batting my eyelashes.

‘Alas, sir, I am merely a poor soldier's widow. I cannot imagine why I have been so fortunate tonight. Those gods must indeed be smiling on me.'

Getheridge laughed and indicated the almost comatose Finchbrook.

‘I fancy you have found yourself a good mark, Mrs Wickham.' I looked outraged and he quickly invited me to take some air in the garden. I refused with indignation but he insisted, whispering urgently into my ear, ‘You will get no further with this one. Take my advice, whatever you planned for him must wait until he is recovered a little.'

I allowed my hirsute friend to conduct me to the garden where he continued to whisper in a conspiratorial manner. ‘If I do not mistake, you madam, you are in search of something that is my forte. I think I may be able to help you.'

‘Truly, sir?' I replied, ‘And what will be the cost?'

‘We can speak of that later.'

‘I have heard that you are not impervious to female charms, Mr Getheridge.' A strange expression swept over my companion's face and he seized my arm once more, propelling me back into the house.

‘I must leave now, madam, but we must meet again. Come to my office at the bank. I believe we can discuss something to our mutual advantage.' He wrote a few words on a card and pushed it into my hand before bowing and leaving rapidly. I saw him bidding farewell to Selena as a newly resuscitated Lord Finchbrook weaved his way unsteadily towards me.

‘Oh my fair companion,' he called out, ‘lovely despoiler of my finances! Have you deserted me?' He made me an elegant bow and then almost toppled sideways. I caught him by the arm and restored him to an upright position. Mindful of Mr Getheridge I decided to seize the moment.

‘Do you ever grace the assemblies at Almack's, my lord?' I enquired casually. Finchbrook gathered his scattered wits and brushed an imaginary crumb from his cuff.

‘I believe I have spent a tiresome hour or two at that establishment, madam. A tedious place full of simpering debutantes and their ghastly mothers – and no strong drink served, I recall.' He gave me suddenly a clear-eyed glance and added, ‘I should not have thought it your kind of thing at all.'

I clasped my hands together in a prayerful gesture and assured him that it was the place I most desired to be in all the world.

‘But you have not been given the seal of approval by the bulldogs at the gate!' he guffawed, meaning Lady Jersey and the Countess Lieven, the dowagers who vetted young ladies for their suitability.

‘Alas, no' I replied, ‘but perhaps your lordship could assist me in this matter?'

‘It is the least I can do after allowing you to win so much money from me.'

‘Your lordship's logic is beyond reproach.'

Unfortunately, at that moment Selena appeared and Finchbrook immediately forgot my very existence and began mooning over her in a quite revolting manner. She appeared not to notice as she whispered excitedly that she had just sold the Countess Godiva print for a third more than Miles had paid for it.

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