Bad Miss Bennet (20 page)

‘I can assure you, dear sir, that the Caruthers and their friends, of whom I am one, have taken the utmost care of dear Mrs Wickham. You need have no fear on that account.' Darcy raised an eyebrow and gave him a look that would have chilled a sorbet in an ice house.

‘I am much obliged to you.' He was probably wondering whether I planned to elope with this dandy. If only I could. His lordship was wealthy, affable, titled and stupid – the perfect spouse. Unfortunately, I knew that he was mooning after a married woman and that his family would disinherit him if he took up with any females in this household.

At that moment I heard the front door opening and I realised that my friends had returned. I could only pray that Adelaide had managed to warn them before they entered. My hopes were dashed when Miles burst into the room braying loudly;

‘My dear girl, you missed a splendid event. Hordes of people gathered to see poor old Getheridge. You would have been proud. Oh, there you are Finchbrook. Why did you not join us?' He was pushed aside momentarily by the entrance of his wife who rushed across the room crying, ‘Lydia what happened with the deeds?' They both noticed Mr Darcy at the same time as I closed my eyes and waited for the world to end.

I shall be eternally grateful to Lord Finchbrook. I repent of my harsh judgement of him. Gesturing frantically to the newcomers behind my brother-in-law's back, he startled them into silence and drew Darcy towards the door.

‘Please be good enough, sir, to give me your opinion on a new Arab I have harnessed to my phaeton. I have heard you are an acknowledged connoisseur of horse flesh.' He steered the surprised and unresisting Fitzie out of the house while I reproached my friends unfairly for their precipitous entrance.

‘If he has the slightest notion of what is going on I shall be cast into the gutter,' I moaned.

‘We could not be expected to know he was here, Lydia, do not be unreasonable,' said Selena.

‘If only you were not so agog with hangings and such,' I continued. ‘You are obsessed with the affair.' Miles wagged his finger at me.

‘And so is half of London. You could not move for the press of the crowd. And the carriages, my dear. Half of the aristocracy turned up.'

‘That would be because they had all borrowed money from him,' his wife added. I twisted my hands and begged them to forget Getheridge for the moment. They finally realised the importance of removing Darcy as soon as possible and gathered their wits as Lord Finchbrook and my brother-in-law returned and introductions were made.

Selena took a deep breath and assumed the gracious hostess mode.

‘You will dine with us, of course, Mr Darcy? I hope we will have the pleasure of meeting your wife later in the season. Any sister of my dear friend Mrs Wickham would be an honoured guest.' Miles beamed at the visitor in support of these remarks but indecision was writ large on my brother-in-law's face. Courtesy finally prevailed and he accepted in his usual stiff manner. Lord Finchbrook was also encouraged to join us. I would have invited half of London if I could have, so as not to have to make conversation with Darcy.

I knew he was itching to quiz me about my activities and my plans for the future, but I did not intend to let him have the opportunity. His untimely arrival had quite distracted me from the disaster of the deeds and Getheridge's tragic demise. My luck was deserting me once more. It needed only a surprise visit from Jerry Sartain during the meal to seal my fate.

As I was dressing for dinner that evening Selena came to talk to me saying that we must soon visit Hatchard's bookshop in Piccadilly and the Burlington Arcade where all the Bucks and Bloods paraded. ‘There is not a man among them worth less than twenty thousand pounds a year,' she declared, adding that I must surely catch the eye of one of them.

‘But I have already caught the eye of the Count,' I said. Selena discounted this saying that I knew nothing of his circumstances and that a bird in the hand is worth any number of mystery admirers.

Without waiting for my comments she went on to say that cook had prepared an apricot tart for dessert. ‘It is the favourite of every man of quality.' Tamarinds were available at the greengrocer but cook had no idea what to do with them. Selena always managed to cover every angle in life simultaneously.

Dinner was a somewhat strained affair. Mr Darcy made little attempt at conversation and others made too many. Lord Finchbrook wore a pair of excessively elegant lavender gloves.

‘You are the very tulip of fashion,' Selena told him and he gave her a look of adoration, blushing a shade of pink that clashed only slightly with the gloves. He always failed to detect the irony underlying my friend's remarks. We were all on our best behaviour as we contemplated the quails in blankets which constituted the main course, but as the evening wore on and the wine was poured, tongues loosened and talk grew careless. I sat on tenterhooks waiting for the remark that would bring the wrath of Fitzwilliam down around my ears.

Miles made the inevitable reference to the execution but got no further than remarking that, ‘the fellow was neatly dressed' – before receiving a well-aimed kick on the shins from his wife. I enquired politely about life at Pemberley and my relative launched into a lecture on the burden of running a large estate. We all nodded sympathetically while I thought wistfully of the little cottage that had almost been mine. An estate indeed! When would I ever have a roof over my head that was truly mine?

In an attempt to change the subject Lord Finchbrook twittered about an exhibition of portraits he had seen by the artist Thomas Lawrence who was the talk of London. He had painted vastly flattering portraits of the Prince Regent – his corpulent fifty-two-year-old body rendered as a well-built thirty-three – and of the Duke of Wellington. We all recalled seeing the great duke's large nose, bleak eyes and bristly jaws greatly improved by Lawrence's skills.

Selena exclaimed that she would die happy if she could leave behind her likeness executed by Mr Lawrence. Miles looked startled and shamefaced when she made a few barbed remarks about an oil painting being worth any number of crude etchings. Darcy nodded agreement but could not resist a criticism of Lawrence whom he called a ‘popinjay'.

‘They say he is entirely self-taught and has never had a lesson in his life.' This was said with the self-satisfaction of one who had an old master or two adorning his ancestral walls. Nobody dared to disagree with him as he warmed to his subject.

‘I have seen prints by Gillray that were vicious and crude in the extreme. I believe the fellow must be a republican and a sympathiser with those Jacobins across the Channel.' There was general agreement that the continent was now a much safer place since Napoleon's overthrow and the restoration of the monarchy.

I remembered that the duke was about to become our ambassador in Paris.

‘I hear he will take a large entourage with him,' I said wistfully.

‘Indeed,' said Lord Finchbrook, ‘Paris is becoming the centre of European culture once more. There is a vast English colony assembled there, I believe.' I wished silently to be among them as my brother-in-law remarked that England and its rural pleasures were good enough for him.

To my surprise Darcy invited us to ride with him in Hyde Park on the following day. I wondered uneasily about Jerry Sartain. I had not heard from him recently and any equine setting would be a likely place to stumble across him. I had hoped that Selena would politely refuse Darcy's invitation, as she had promised Miles a visit to John Trotter's Soho Bazaar where more than one hundred young women were employed. It would have enabled him to ogle the fair sex while pretending to buy artists' materials, cakes and any other non-essential items. However, everyone accepted enthusiastically and it became obvious that my friends believed they were doing me a favour. Then yet another disaster loomed from the saturnine gentleman sitting opposite, frowning at me.

‘You must return with me to Pemberley, madam. I leave in two days' time. Your sister expressly commanded me to bring you back.' Reluctantly, he turned to my friends and remarked that they would be most welcome if they chose to accompany us.

Once again, to my astonishment, Lord Finchbrook saved the day. This was the second time he had played the knight in shining armour, but I was truly amazed by his words.

‘Sir, I must beg your indulgence for a few days. Mrs Wickham has an invitation to Almack's Assembly and I shall have the privilege of escorting her. She could not, in all conscience, refuse or postpone such an honour.'

‘Almack's?' I shrieked, while Selena hastily intercepted, saying loudly, ‘Surely you have not forgotten, Lydia?'

I gulped and gathered my wits together, assuring Darcy that I was overcome at the very mention of the event. He looked nonplussed for a moment and then reluctantly agreed.

‘Then we shall expect you in due course. Your sister is most anxious.'

Selena and I then retired leaving the men to their brandy and cigars. I collapsed onto a chaise longue fanning myself assiduously and trying to recover from the shock. At least I had a reprieve for a few days. How clever of our favourite aristocrat to think of the perfect excuse. If only it were true. My friend apologised for not offering anything similar.

‘I could only think that Miles had already been bled. I could not persuade him to offer up his vital juices so soon, and such an excuse would not do for you.'

Eventually, a very long evening drew to its close and Darcy bade us farewell. Only then did I have an opportunity to thank his lordship for his timely intervention.

‘Oh, it was nothing, madam – nothing but the truth!' With an air of triumph he produced an elegant, gold-embossed card and waved it in front of my bedazzled eyes.

‘Your wish has been granted, my lady. Never let it be said that Finchbrook ignored a lady's wishes. Though it will be a dashed boring evening, just chit-chat with dragon-like chaperones and simpering virgins with nothing stronger than fruit punch to fortify us.'

‘But we shall dance!' I cried, pirouetting around the room with delight. ‘And I will have gained an
entrée
into the finest circles in the land.'

‘We shall expect you to snare a duke at the very least,' chirped Miles, while Selena looked a little sour. I continued dancing around the room thinking about my gown for the occasion, whether the Count would be present, and meaning to ask Lord Finchbrook how he had procured such a favour, but as I drew near to the window I spied a figure leaning nonchalantly against Finchbrook's phaeton. It was Jerry. Truly, fate never allows me unalloyed pleasure for more than a moment.

Behind me the voices in the room suddenly seemed far away. I heard the men discussing neckties appropriate for Almack's. Miles was agreeing that the ballroom tie would be best. Lord Finchbrook remarked that only the best white linen was suitable –
blanc d'innocence virginal
– fastened in the Napoleonic manner without a knot.

Muttering an excuse I fled from the room and retrieved Adelaide from the depths of the kitchen where she was eating the remains of the apricot pie. I was forced to acquaint her somewhat summarily with the details of Jerry's resurrection from the dead. She gave a little scream before reluctantly agreeing to take a note to him begging him not to perpetrate any atrocity upon his lordship who was playing an important role in furthering my fortunes. I then amended this to ‘our fortunes' for better effect. I was under no illusions about Jerry's motives.

Adelaide reported back that he insisted on speaking to me personally on a matter of great urgency. I sighed, knowing what that meant. He wanted money, probably a great deal of money. I resolved that things would be different this time. Chiding myself for a ninny with a sorry lack of resolve, I threw a cloak over my gown and slipped out through the kitchen.

He was waiting in the shadows and his appearance startled me so much that I instantly forgot myself and became overcome by concern. His face was worn and haggard, with stubble darkening his chin. His eyes were red as if he had not slept for many nights, and his clothes were dusty. Looking down at his boots I observed that the soles were peeling away from the uppers. Was this the same man who had romanced me in Bath?

Horrified, I grasped his arm urgently. ‘What has happened, Jerry? Are you in danger?' He gave me his wry smile.

‘Of course I am in danger, my dear. I am a wanted man. Sadly, an acquaintance betrayed me to the runners. I was in an ale house when Townshend and his men arrived. I was lucky to make my escape but they are close behind me and I have no place to go now. Townshend will not give up until he has my head.' Alarmed by this horrid vision I immediately asked how I could help.

‘It is not merely a matter of money,' I urged. ‘You must have a place of safety.' Jerry gave a mirthless laugh.

‘Such a place no longer exists in this country. You must help me to escape. I will be safe if I can get to America.'

‘America?' I echoed. ‘Must you go so far?' I knew how stupid this remark sounded. He shrugged; ‘There is a Yankee ship in the Port of London. She sails for New York tomorrow. Townshend will find it difficult to get on board a foreign vessel even if he suspects that I am there. The Americans have no love for the British. If I can pay my passage they will guarantee to keep me hidden. ‘May the devil take me away to hell on his black horse before I surrender to Townshend.'

His words barely registered in my mind. All I could think of was that he was leaving me, just as my hero Lord Byron had left me. Why was everyone able to escape from England while I remained trapped?

‘Do you not have any family? Someone who could shelter you for a while?'

Jerry gave a bitter laugh. ‘My mother threw me out of her house a long time ago. There is no-one else.'

Of course, dear reader, I gave him all the money I possessed. I would probably have been foolish enough to give him Getheridge's diamond bangle if he had asked for it, but fortunately he was content with the money.