Bad Luck Black Money (5 page)

"Fine, what about our car?"

"We will pick it up after our honeymoon. Nobody is going to tow it away."

"Can we cut these strings off of us, now?"

"Why would you want to do that, honey?"

"Well, its not exactly easy, getting around like this,” Junior said as he lifted his arm up slightly, pulling Noi's arm upward as well. "It’s like being handcuffed."

"You let me worry about that. I will take them off and put them in a memory book when I feel like it, OK? I get to say how long they stay on, OK?"

With a slight sigh, Junior said, "Yes, dear.... But tell me this. How are we going to get our clothes off tonight, when we are tied at the wrists?"

Noi smiled as she leaned over to kiss Junior lightly on the lips, when she'd finished, Junior looked down to see a big slash in his shirt. He looked over at Noi as she closed the blade of a little curved knife with one hand and slid it back into her garter belt.

"A girl has to come prepared," said Noi.

"I can see that," Junior said. At that moment, he knew that she would literally kill him one day. He had willingly entered into a relationship with a beautiful psychopath. His final outcome was predetermined, and obvious to anyone privy to the facts. But it didn't matter. Junior was basking in the affections of the world's hottest woman, and he intended to enjoy the ride for as long as it would last.

Everyone congratulated the newlywed couple as they entered a seaside resort. The receptionist went on and on about how beautiful the bride was and how handsome the groom looked. Even the bellboy refused to take a tip from the happy couple. Their first night spent as a legally married couple was magical. And to Junior's amazement, the strings stayed tied to both of their wrists through the night.

The next morning, all of the food from the previous day's festivities hit Junior like a sucker-punch. He begged Noi to cut the strings, but she refused. Much to his embarrassment, Noi accompanied him to the bathroom to relieve himself. Even worse, she also needed to use the facilities, and he was forced to be there.

Junior had never been a prude. When the whips and chains came out, he was willing to both give and receive. But he'd always drawn the line when it came to bathroom play. Defecation and urination were disgusting not sexy.

On the other hand, Noi didn't have a problem with it. She thought peeing and pooping as a part of nature and wasn't shy or ashamed in any way.

On the third day of being a forced Siamese twin, Junior started developing a rash on his wrist that was tied to Noi's. Against her wishes, but for her husband's benefit, she cut the literal strings, which bound them.... Noi cried for a solid hour.

Trying to comfort his wife, who was crying over such a silly thing, Junior told her that she could tie them back together anytime she wanted to. Noi instantly quit crying and put Junior in a bear hug. The thought crossed his mind that he'd done exactly what she wanted him to, but at least, she wasn't crying.

Over the next few months, Noi exercised her option of re-tying the strings around their wrists and would leave them tied together for a couple of days at a time. Junior found his life to be so much easier if he just let Noi run things. If she wanted to go out and eat at a restaurant, then they ate out. If she wanted to stay in and watch a Thai movie, then they stayed in and watched a Thai movie. If she wanted to go shopping, then they went shopping with Junior being careful to avoid eye contact with any shop-girls.

Chapter 6

One day, when Noi was in the kitchen cooking dinner, Junior had to use the bathroom and from years of habit, he locked the bathroom door after closing it. About halfway through reading a magazine, Junior heard someone trying to turn the locked doorknob. A split second later, Noi was screaming at the top of her lungs in Thai and kicking the door so hard that it rocked back and forth on its hinges with each kick.

Rising from his seat on the toilet with his pants still around his ankles, Junior yelled, "Wait a second!"

Before he could waddle over to the door, it broke open with bits of splintered wood flying in all directions. In near shock, Junior just stood there with his mouth open and his mind not believing what his eyes were seeing. Noi came at him with fists flailing and screaming with enough decibels to shatter eardrums.

Junior took several punches to his ribs and head as he tried to retreat. He tripped and fell because of his underwear was around his ankles. Instinctively, he curled into a fetal position, using one of his arms to protect his head and the other to cover his genitals.

Noi mounted him about the stomach and beat him all over his body with clenched fists and powerful open-palm slaps. Each strike echoed off the bathroom's tiled surfaces and sounded like firecrackers popping.

Fearing that this was the end, Junior's life flashed before his eyes. If he hadn't already urinated, his bladder would have emptied at that moment. For a full two minutes, Noi unleashed her rage upon him. Every time she punched him in the kidneys, his whole body would spasm.

Just when he thought it was over, Noi grabbed him by the hair of his head and dragged him toward the kicked-in door. He wouldn't have thought that she could manhandle his heavy body so easily, but she did. He grabbed her hands, which were full of his hair, trying to ease the pressure on his scalp. However, when he did, he left his private parts open for attack. Noi pivoted on one foot and used her other foot to smash down in-between Junior's legs. Junior projectile vomited a couple of times then fell unconscious.

When Junior awoke, he was on Noi's bed in her high-rise condo. There was a man in a white coat with a stethoscope hanging around his neck, looking down at Junior.

"What... what's going on? Where am I?" asked Junior.

"It's OK," answered Noi, who was standing on the other side of the doctor. "You are going to be just fine. Right doctor?"

"Yes, you are a lucky man," said the doctor as he removed his stethoscope and put it in a doctor's black, leather bag. "Usually, street thugs will finish you off if they beat you this badly. If your wife hadn't scared them away, you'd be dead right now."

"Street thugs?" asked Junior as a wave of pain swept over him.

"Yeah, you remember the guys who beat you up, right?" Noi asked in a tone that was more like an order than a question.

"... Ah... yes, of course," Junior weakly mumbled.

The doctor turned to Noi and said, "I will come back this evening to check up on him. Make sure he doesn't leave the bed or move around too much."

"Thank you, doctor," Noi said. "I am going to watch him every second."

"You are very lucky to have a good wife like Noi,” the doctor said to Junior. Then the doctor patted him on the leg and left the condo, closing the door behind him.

"... What really happened, Noi?" Junior feebly asked.

"You don't remember?"

"Well, I remember you beating me and then kicking me in the balls."

"Whoa, wait a second, husband. You made me kick your ass. Do you think I like having to punish you like that?"

Junior closed his eyes and thought about what his answer should be, then said, "What did I do so wrong?"

"Oh, so now you're going to play dumb. You go hide in the bathroom and lock the door so I can't come in. What did you think was going to happen?"

"... Honestly, I just locked the door out of habit. All my life I've locked the door whenever I went to the bathroom. I didn't mean anything by it."

"I bet you won't do it again; will you?"

"No, Noi. As a matter of fact, I'm going to ask your permission before I even take a piss from now on."

"Language, language!" scolded Noi as she lightly slapped him on the face. "I won't have a husband who speaks like a nasty sailor."

Stunned a little by the slap and realizing that he was utterly helpless, at the moment, Junior said, "I'm sorry. Please, don't hit me anymore."

"I only hit you because I love you. You have to learn how to be good and not naughty."

"May, I ask you a question?" asked Junior.

"Of course, I'm your wife. You can ask me anything. I love you."

"I, I love you, too.... Why can I barely move? You couldn't have done this much damage to me."

"He-he," laughed Noi. "So, you think I'm a dainty, Asian flower? I'm not capable of fighting you?"

"Oh, goodness, no!" said Junior with a cough. "I know you could kill me at will. It's just that I'm in some serious pain here, and I went unconscious after just a couple of minutes.... Did I go into spasms and hit my head on something?"

"Dear, dear, husband," Noi said as she gently straightened his hair with her fingertips. "Just because you blackout, doesn't mean the beating is over.

You made me really mad. So mad, that I couldn't stop beating you.... Don't you want to apologize for making me so mad?"

For a few seconds, Junior was totally speechless. Then he said the only thing that he could say, under the circumstances. "... I'm... sorry."

"That's OK, I forgive you, Junior....

After you vomited, I punched and kicked you for several more minutes.... And you know it's your own fault; don't you?"

"... Yes, I’m sorry."

"I forgive you," Noi said as she gently brushed his cheek with the back of her hand.

"I'm kind of scared to ask, but why... why does my butt hurt so much?"

"Ha!" laughed Noi loudly. "You think I did some prison-sex stuff to you?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that my bottom is killing me."

"Funny, I thought it would have been your penis and testicles that would be causing you the most pain," said Noi as she pulled the sheet off of him like a magician pulling the tablecloth from a set table.

For the first time since regaining consciousness, Junior saw the damage done to his body. He was literally black and blue from the chest down. His penis was in a cast and had a catheter coming out of it. His testicles had swollen to the size of large oranges.

Junior's body was so sore and stiff that he couldn't even recoil from the sight of this abomination. All he could do is cry. And cry he did, but not in a normal sad way. No, he cried the hopeless wails of a freshman in hell.

"What are you doing?" Noi asked. "You are going to be fine. I promise you."

Junior heard her comforting words, but he couldn't stop crying.

"You, big baby," Noi scolded, as she got a tissue to wipe the tears rolling down his face. "I didn't even break a single bone. You really should thank me."

After catching his breath in-between bouts of a crying jag, Junior managed to squeak out, "I, I, I, I'm so... sor... sorrrry. Thank, you."

"That's OK, Junior. I forgive you. Now, can you quit crying?"

"I... I'll, I'll try..."

"The doctor says you'll have a full recovery. You've just been tenderized, a little bit.

I bet I know what you're crying about.... You're worried that you won't be able to please me anymore. Well, don't fret, your man parts still work. After the swelling goes down, of course, and after the cast comes off your penis.

... Would you like to know how I broke your penis?"

"No, no, please, don't tell me anymore," begged Junior. "I don't want to know."

"OK," said Noi as she picked up a bottle of pills from the nightstand. "Are you in much pain?"

"Yes, pain like I've never known before."

"Would you like a pain pill?"

"Yes, please, yes."

"I don't know.... You might not learn your lesson if you don't suffer some more."

In too much pain to talk anymore, Junior just whined like a starving dog for a bowl of food.

Shaking the bottle of pills like a baby's rattle, Noi said, "Tell you what. I'm going to let you have one of these. It'll help you rest, but we'll dole out each pill on an 'as needed' basis. I won't be married to a junkie."

"... Oh, please," whispered Junior as tears started flowing from his eyes again.

"Open up," demanded Noi.

Junior opened his mouth, and she placed a pill upon his tongue. Noi then opened a bottle of water and drank a swallow. She then took another and sloshed it around in her mouth, as if, she was using mouthwash. Leaning over the bed so that her face was almost touching Junior's face, she spat into his mouth, which provided him with enough fluid to easily swallow the pill down.

Noi covered Junior's battered body with the sheet, which she'd just ripped off the bed, while Junior closed his eyes to sleep. He could feel her presence at his side and intuitively knew she was going to watch him sleep for a long while.

Before the narcotics in the pain pill kicked in, Junior's mind raced to find a solution to his woman problem. "I can't move, so I can't run away. And even if I could run, she'd eventually catch me then torture me. I can't buy her off because she already has access to my bank accounts. I could try to kill her when I feel better, but then again, she's some sort of ninja freak and would probably disarm me then torture me. I could call for help, but nobody would believe my story then she'd torture me.... Shit....

There's no way out of this. It's a horror movie that just won't end. If she'd just kill me and get it over with, it wouldn't be so bad. But this crazy bitch likes to hurt me.... I'm FUBAR! (fucked up beyond all repair)

The only thing I can do is knuckle under. When she says jump, I ask, 'how high?' She's the master; I'm the slave. No, I'm not even a slave. Slaves have value. I'm her freakin' lap dog.... Shit."