Bad Cat Baby Blues (Shifter Squad Six 3) (17 page)

The boy looked at him with eyes that matched his own and the gold melted from Dutch’s gaze, reverence evident on his expression. His heart seemed to swell in his chest and at the same time he was angry, confused, and deliriously happy. Not something a werejaguar was accustomed to feeling all in one moment.

“What’s his name?” he asked softly as the boy reached for his face, running his hand over his stubbled chin.

“Roman. I call him Ro for short,” Ari said after a second of hesitation, probably realizing that there was nothing left to hide now.

Dutch didn’t need to ask if the boy was his. He knew. There was no question in his mind. But as the realization settled in him, other much more worrying notions raised their ugly heads. He looked up from Ro and his eyes met Ari’s, no longer gold but still filled to the brim with worry. She was shaking like a leaf and he was sure it was because he was holding Roman. And she still had the damn gun in her hands.

“Put that fucking thing away, Ari. Not around the boy,” he growled, correcting his tone as he got a startled look from Roman. “Do you want to explain to me what the hell is going on here or do I need to chase you across the globe again for that?”

She bristled at that; he could see it the moment he’d spoken the words. But he couldn’t stop himself. Knowing that he’d lost time with his child, his
only
child, was chewing at him from the inside out. The fact that the boy’s mother and the woman he unabashedly loved—something that hit him like a ton of bricks as well, but seemed to be the least of his current concerns—had hidden it from him made it so much worse that he was having a hard time finding breath to breathe and strength to get mad.

“I don’t owe you any explanation,” she said defiantly, standing up straighter.

Ari lowered the gun though, emptying the chamber and flicking out the clip as it became obvious that the only danger to Roman would be their clashing egos. At least that much was a relief. Dutch wouldn’t have to make up his mind later what the crowning jewel was of this particular day—him finding out he had a son he knew nothing about, reigniting a lost connection with the woman he loved, or getting shot by her.

“Oh, but I think you do,” he hissed. “Why didn’t you tell me? Getting my contacts from The Firm would have been easy enough. And I
looked
for you, Ari. I didn’t give up on this. It’s all you.”

“You don’t even know if he’s yours,” Ari spat, but that comeback was weak and they both knew it.

“Really? That’s how you want to play this?” Dutch asked, baring his teeth in a wolfish snarl. “Unless I have a genetically identical brother you managed to find and fuck in the middle of the jungle, then I think it’s pretty clear he
is
mine.”

Straight to the heart. He saw her recoil and he regretted what he’d said the moment he’d spoken the words, but it was too late. Shots had been fired. They’d both have to go down in the aftermath.

“Yeah? You think that’s the kind of father he needs? Some kind of fucking psycho who acts out of vengeance whenever it suits his needs? An animal who doesn’t even think himself good enough to have connections, let alone allow anyone close? Is that the kind of man I’m supposed to welcome into the life of my child, one that barges in and
demands
something that is not his to demand?” Ari asked, her expression frantic, enraged.

It broke his heart. Not only because she was saying it to him, but because she was right. It felt like someone had thrust a hot dagger into his heart and then twisted it with all their strength, and he knew Ari to have plenty of strength. His ears hummed and he was starkly aware of the heavy thuds of his heart, torn and battered as it was.

Wordlessly, he looked down at the little boy, a perfect copy of himself if there had ever been one, and kissed him on the forehead. A breath escaped his lips, reverent in a way, and he closed his eyes as the child threw his arms around his neck, his grip already strong. He would be a strong man one day, there would be no doubt of that.

“Be a good boy for your mother,” he whispered into Roman’s ear, before gently unhooking the boy’s hands from around his neck and handing him over to Ari.

Ariadne’s eyes were all fire and spite, but the moment she got Ro in her arms, she seemed to settle. Then he saw tears brimming, but he never stayed to see if one would fall for him. Wordlessly, he pushed past her, heading toward the door and then into the night air, which nipped at him. His hands rolled into fists once more and he could hear Ari faintly calling for him, his name sweet on her mouth. But it was too little. And it was too late.

She hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. And that kind of confirmation was not something Dutch had needed.
 

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Ariadne

Every time the door swung open, Ari fidgeted, looking up like a deer staring into headlights before realizing that it wasn’t Dutch. It was never him.

The office had been busier than ever now, with key details unfurling under the keen eyes of Ari’s team. But she found it harder and harder to concentrate on her work when feelings of guilt and remorse twisted her up so tight it was difficult to breathe.

I shouldn’t have done that to him,
she thought grimly, trying to read the same line on the screen for the tenth time and failing yet again as her thoughts drifted easily to Dutch.

“Ariadne?” a voice called, sounding like it had done so more than once already.

She recoiled from the screen, spinning around to meet the fresh face of one of the junior operatives, Kaylen. There had been an influx of agents to The Firm whose age made Ari question their true calling in this madness, but it was not her place to judge The Firm’s HR decisions. Especially since she didn’t intend to be there for very long.

Finish this and you get out. This can all be a bad memory.

“Yes, Kaylen?” she asked, trying to put some authority into her voice, though she scarcely felt it at the time.

“I think I got something,” he said, waving her along across the room to his station.

Ari padded up behind him as Kaylen sunk into his chair and pulled up more video footage from a recent drone flight, as it remained the only way they could get any eyes on the place. The Firm had shut down the blocks around the building, which they’d found out the hard way when trying to create a recon nest in one of the nearby buildings. Luckily the operatives involved had been disguised and with any luck, the Silk Slayers had not caught onto the plot quite yet.

“You remember how you told us to keep an eye out for the guys you used to run with? We knew they were on the move but they hadn’t been spotted at Haygrove yet, right? Well, I think I got them,” he said, his voice conversational but betraying a modicum of pride.

Kaylen pulled up a video and pointed to two men heading into the building from the back of a truck. They could only be seen for a moment, but after the video was replayed a few times, Ari had to agree. It was Jola and Tro.

Her lips tightened into a line and she nodded curtly, putting a hand on Kaylen’s shoulder.

“Good work. I think it’s time to call that strike,” she said, her throat constricting at the words.

***

Ari hated this. It was late and night had fallen over Detroit. Somewhere in those shadows, Squad Six was getting ready to move in, along with Squad Nine and some of her own men. And she was stuck in a damn mobile command vehicle, listening to chatter.

Once or twice, she’d heard Dutch’s voice come in over the comms and it damn near ripped her heart out. He sounded flat, strained, annoyed. She couldn’t blame him. She’d tried reaching out to him more than a few times, to make him speak to her regardless of what had happened that night with Roman. To make it better.

There was no swaying him. And it was all her fault. She’d wounded him harder than she even knew she could and now she was left to deal with the consequences of a great man brought to his knees by her careless tongue.

But you were right! He said as much!
she tried to protest in her head, a feeble attempt to rationalize the pain she’d caused.

“Command, Squad Six ready to move in,” came Connor’s stoic voice over the comms, crisp and ready for action.

“Squad Nine in position,” another voice recited. Ari gave a quick glance to the camera feeds running into the van. There was one on every team lead and essential personnel they had in there.

“Teams One and Three in place.”

Ari took a deep breath. Kaylen was sitting in the car with her, keeping an ear on radio chatter in the surrounding areas and any incoming movement. She wanted badly to be there with the men, boots on the ground, making sure no one got hurt. But that was not her place. Spade had made it very clear that her mission here was to see this through, and while he hadn’t said it in as many words, Ari got the distinct feeling that he was worried about casualties.

He seemed to always know something that she didn’t and it was frankly pissing her off. She knew she wasn’t the only one who had such a reaction to the intelligence officer who seemed to run The Firm with an iron fist, though.

The plan was thrown together at best. They still didn’t know what the Silk Slayers were doing or why they needed Haygrove, just that they’d been going to great lengths to keep it secret and hidden from prying eyes. Ari had managed to get her hands on the floor plans of the building, but there was always the possibility that there’d been extensive remodeling done on the inside.

As far as they could tell, there couldn’t be too many troops inside the compound, but that could always turn out to be wrong as well. After all, there was a steady flow of trucks moving in and out of the center, and while it was rare that they’d seen biological beacons pop up when scanning the vehicles, it had happened enough times to suggest that whatever was being transported was alive.

“I remind you all, this is a bag and tag. Take prisoners where you can, but keep yourself safe. The surrounding buildings are not to be cleared out; if there’s spill from them then you will have to deal with them within the walls of the compound. I expect all of you to get out of there in one piece. Am I understood?”

A round of ayes flooded the channel and Ari smirked mirthlessly, checking the gun she carried on her ankle and the gear belt she had thrown on just in case. Kaylen had done the same.

Prepare for the worst.

“Lock and load,” she called, the traditional war cry of The Firm’s field troops, something that the office agents tended to mock with great relish.

But Ari had been a sailor herself and she knew the lay of the land. There was great power in tradition, in doing things the way they’d always been done, because it created a level of comfort and safety that was both rare and fleeting in this day and age. Her muscles tensed as she saw the teams burst into action, cutting into the fencing around the center, rappelling in from a nearby building where they’d been airdropped, barging straight in through the front gates.

But what if you’re wrong, Ari? What then?

It was the same nagging voice that came far too often lately. She wasn’t even sure whether the current bout was on account of the mission or her grand and explosive failure with Dutch. She figured it worked for both.

Roman’s face had fallen the moment he saw Dutch striding away, his powerful shoulders hunched and so tense that Ari could see them straining. It was as if she’d shot him in earnest, but the bullet didn’t kill, simply maimed and made him void to the world. Not only had she hidden his son from him, but she’d told him he wasn’t fit to be in his life. Rationally, she knew she was supposed to believe that.

Emotionally though? She couldn’t believe that Dutch would ever be a danger to her or Roman. Not anymore. Not after the way he’d looked when he’d left her house.

The only person she could get through to in Squad Six had been Connor, and he’d told her in terms that were hard to misunderstand that Dutch did not want to talk to her. There was tension in Connor’s posture whenever they would meet after the incident, showing Ari that Dutch had told his commanding officer about what had happened, but she could also see understanding in him.

His new wife had done much the same to him, in a way. They’d had a child together and she hadn’t told him, not even when they met again, and she’d tried to hide it from him. Ari could only imagine what her reasons were, but it wasn’t hard to find justification with these men.