Bad Boy Brawler (Alpha Bad Boy Book 3) (4 page)

“Well, it sounds like you have a good mommy then who does what’s best for you. Huh?” She winks at me and I return it with a smile, loving this lady more every minute.

“I guess so. But Devyn let me watch cartoons and got me McDonald’s. So you should go easy on him.”

Devyn gives James a thumbs up and then whips to attention like a soldier when Bernice turns back to him. I cover my mouth trying not to laugh.

“Devyn O’Dare! Buying off children with cartoons and McDonald’s.” She draws out her syllables and her arm shoots back to James with her palm open. “This is a growing man. He needs nutrition and exercise. And you try to gain this poor young man’s favor with
junk
?”

Devyn smiles and shrugs.

“Boy, don’t you give me that handsome grin. I will knock your block off. You understand me?”

“Yes ma’am.”

James is grinning as Bernice turns back to him, her face softening from a sour frown into a warm smile. “I will cook you some dinner boy. But first, we are going outside to play, okay? There are woods and trees and all kinds of stuff to get into out here instead of staring at that devil box all day. Does that sound fun?”

“Yes.”

“Come again, James?”

Devyn mouths ‘ma’am’ to him from behind her shoulder.

“Yes ma’am,” James says.

“Well, c’mon then. I’m gonna show you all the hiding places around here.”

James sprints toward the front door and Bernice scowls at Devyn then turns back to me. “It’s nice to meet you, Carly. Take yourself a break. I got this.” She turns to Devyn and lowers her voice. “This shit ain’t over with you and me. I don’t care what day of the year it was. Understand me, boy?”

“Yes ma’am.” Devyn stares at the ground.

“You kids have fun now.” Bernice smiles at me and chases after James. “I’m coming boy. My bones are old so you’re gonna have to slow down a little.”

Their voices fade and then I hear the door close.

Devyn walks back to the couch and sits down next to me. “So yeah, that’s Bernice.” He grins.

“I gathered. She’s wonderful.” The words come out before I can stop them. “Well, other than ripping you a new one anyway.”

“I deserve it. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“I take it she’s not your mother, since you call her Bernice?”

“That’s correct.”

He looks uneasy, like a struck a nerve. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s okay. She runs a boys’ home I grew up in. Still does.”

I can’t help but ask questions when I should keep my mouth shut. “So you grew up on your own?”

“I did. My mom died when I was about James’ age. My dad is in prison.”

Oh my God.

“That’s terrible. I can’t imagine.”

“I don’t talk about it much. I never really talk much. I’ve spoken more since I met you two than I probably have in the last month.”

“Really?”

He shrugs and nods his head.

“I can’t imagine what you must’ve went through. Was your mother sick?”

He runs his hands down his legs once more, breathing deep.

“No. Umm. My father—” He pauses. “He killed her.”

I feel like I might throw up. My hand shoots to my mouth and my stomach churns. “I just…I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s not much to say. It was twenty years ago. They would argue, but were never violent. Though he drank all the time. One night, he turned mean. She said something and I watched him—”

“Oh my God, you were there? I am so sorry. I just want to hug you right now.”

I’m trying to wrap my head around all of this. I thought I had problems. Then it hits me. “Wait, if you saw that…why in the hell would you go out drinking?”

My words come out all wrong like I'm scolding him. Bernice already let him have it pretty good. So did I in the hospital. He has to be hating himself. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong and I shouldn't be rude. I just don't understand why you would do that to yourself. Why you would drink."

“I don’t drink. I never have, not a drop. Until yesterday.”

“But why?”

“Looking for answers. It was twenty years and one day to be exact on the time frame. And I’ve searched for answers my whole life. I wanted to know what he felt. I wanted some reason for why he would do that. I wanted to be in his state of mind.” I see his hands trembling against his thighs. His face turns a pink hue, and he slouches back against the couch. “It was stupid. I don’t know what else to say. Other than I’m sorry. But that’s not who I am. And when I saw you guys in the parking lot, saw James helpless, the memories all came back to the front of my mind. If I could keep that boy from seeing the things I saw, maybe that would redeem me from not being able to save my mom.”

I scoot closer to him and put my hands on the sides of his face. “Look at me, Devyn.” His green eyes look down to meet mine. “You don’t need redemption. Not for what happened to your mom. Because you didn’t do anything wrong. James and I appreciate what you did, more than you’ll ever know. But you did it because you’re a good person and it was the right thing to do.”

His warm hand comes up and rests on top of mine. Something about his touch, his eyes. They feel so familiar, like I’ve known him my whole life.
You will get hurt, Carly.
My brain tells me to put some distance between us, be thankful and courteous and then get back to life, figuring things out, focusing on James.

My brain tries to stop me but it’s too late. I lean forward and press my lips to his. They’re soft and fit perfectly on mine as nerve firings radiate through my body. Our lips slowly part and our tongues intertwine, the desire in me building at a rapid pace. I can feel it in him too, in his touch, the way he kisses me. His hands grip around my back and pull me on top of him as I run my fingers through his short hair, the kiss growing more intense. I grind my hips over him and feel his erection through his jeans. I moan into his mouth before we part and his lips move to my neck, right in my danger zone, where he’ll own me.

I gasp and wrap my hands around his head while he kisses across my collar bone and back up to my ear. I want him to pick me up and haul me to his bedroom. I want him to tear every piece of my clothing from my body.

James pops into my mind.
What the hell am I doing?
I pull away from Devyn. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m so sorry. I just—”

He's perfectly calm and smiles. “It’s fine. I promise.”

His words and smile don't register. I picture him angry with me. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I’m kinda glad you did. But it’s fine.”

I start to apologize again and then it hits me. “Wait, what?”

“This is all complicated. But you have to focus on your son. It’s okay. I promise.”

I am so confused right now. Experience has taught me that men don’t like being teased and then told no. Thank God the front door flies open again, cutting the moment short. That kiss though. I still feel the effects snaking through my body.

The sound of the front door opening sends us scooting away from each other on the couch.

“Devyn? You in here?”

It’s Brian. I recognize his voice.

“Yeah, in here buddy.” Devyn turns to me. “I sent him out for some things while you were sleeping. We can get the stuff from your place later and I can have it taken wherever you want. I think you guys should steer clear of there for a few days while your ex cools off.”

“Well get up and help me carry this stuff. Damn, bro.” Brian’s footsteps grow louder as he nears.

Devyn hops up and heads down the hall. They both walk back around the corner with their arms loaded full of bags. “Oh my God, no. We do
not
need all of that.”

“It’s fine.” Devyn turns to me. “I want you guys to be comfortable while you’re here. Whatever you need.”

“This is too much.”

“I got a few toys for James. I hope that’s okay?” Brian sets down three bags full of toys and I’m about to start bawling like a baby.

I cover my face with my hand just in case a few tears come out. It’s too much but I look at the bags and it has to be more toys than James has had his entire life. He is going to go crazy.

“I’m just—I don’t know what to say. He’s going to love this.”

Brian adjusts his collar and looks at me. “Umm, I got you some clothes. I’m just going to apologize in advance. I’ve never shopped for, umm, well—”

I let out a slight giggle. “It’s okay. I promise.”

“Well, I didn’t know what size you were. So I just kinda made some motions with my hands to the lady. Like, she’s about this high and kinda just lady size—”

I’m about to belt out a laugh at his discomfort as he makes hand motions like he’s sizing me up in the air. “I’m sure you did fine. I’m probably not going anywhere so I’m sure whatever you got is perfect.”

“Oh, yeah. I got you a new phone.” He rifles through a smaller bag and pulls out a box.

“Oh great, I need to get it set up and make a few calls. Thank you so much.” I grab the box and look at it. “This is like a five hundred dollar phone.”

“Yeah?” asks Devyn.

I jar him from the couch when I leap over and wrap my arms around him. Leaning up next to his ear I whisper, “Thank you.” Then I jump up and hug Brian. “Thank you too. I know that wasn’t easy, shopping for me like that.”

“It was a more absurd request than I’m used to, but I was happy to do it.”

“Yeah, thanks Brian.” Devyn stands up and shakes his hand.

“Oh, I’ll be taxing your ass come time for my Christmas bonus.”

Devyn laughs. “I’m sure you will.”

***

I’m on the couch watching TV while Devyn is out running and James is playing with all of his new toys in the living room floor.
I could get used to this.
I shake from my momentary state of stupidity. My new phone is hooked up and it starts going off.

“Mommy needs to take a call real quick. I’ll be right around the corner.”

“Okay, Mom.”

I step around into the hallway and answer. Doctor Bloomenthal is on the other end. I sink down the wall, slowly making my way to the floor as my heart crushes against my chest. He calls me every name in the book and ends it with me being fired. Right then, that’s when I lose it. Can’t breathe. The walls start to close in on me and sounds are all muffled and running together.

I feel James’ little arms wrapped around me and he starts crying, and for the first time in my life I can’t stop what I’m doing to comfort him. He screams and it’s the last thing I remember before being scooped up and set down on the couch.

After about thirty seconds, sounds start to come back and I hear. “Don’t worry James, she’s gonna be okay.”

Devyn is in front of me, his arms on my shoulders. “It’s okay. Just breathe. You’re gonna be fine. Try to relax. You’re having a panic attack.”

He looks over at James. “Come here, buddy.” James is reluctant and scared. My chest starts to constrict tighter. “Hey pal, remember what we talked about earlier? How you have to take care of your mom?”

James sniffles and his eyes well up.

Devyn gets down on a knee, at eye level with James. “She needs you right now. I need to go get her some medicine. You gotta stay strong for her, okay?”

“O-okay.” James walks over and puts his arms around me. “It’s gonna be okay, Mommy.”

“I’ll be right back. Okay? I’m going just around the corner.”

James nods and Devyn is like a lightning bolt flying down the hallway, and he’s back in an instant. He has a bottled water in one hand and a pill in the other. “It’s Xanax, it’s going to help calm you down. Okay?”

I reach out and grab his hand to get a look at the pill, and then I nod. He puts it on my tongue and lifts the water to my mouth and I swallow it down, barely.

“You’re doing really good, James. Really good, buddy.” Devyn smiles at him.

My breathing starts to return back to normal and the ceiling doesn’t feel like it’s going to collapse on me any longer. My arms wrap around James’ neck and squeeze him tight. When I turn back Devyn is staring at me. His entire body is glistening from his workout and his look of concern brings all the feelings from earlier back to the surface.

“Do you need anything? More water?”

“No, no, I think. I think I’m okay. I just got a phone call—”

He cuts me off mid-sentence. “Not right now. Don’t think about it. Just know that everything will be fine. Okay?”

I nod but I’m not convinced. How can I be? In a week, a month, a year from now, it’ll be James and me. I’ll still be fighting the same battle. Single mom trying to do what’s best for her son. Devyn will be off destroying people in an arena somewhere in the world.

“This might not sound like a good idea to you, but is there someone you can call? Who might watch James for a few hours? Give you some time to yourself?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Tabby. From your work, Mom.” We both glance down to James. “She can watch me. She’s fun!”

I look back to Devyn and he’s trying to give me the same puppy dog eyes that James uses when he is wanting to get his way.

“It’s two against one you know? The boys have you outnumbered here.”

I can’t help but smile at both of them. “Okay. Fine. But no promises. She’s probably busy. And I thought Bernice said something about making dinner or something?”

“She called me while I was running. Asked for a rain check. She had something come up but made me promise not to feed James McDonalds for dinner.”

I chuckle. “Okay. I’ll call Tabby.”

DEVYN

Tabby shows up to get James. She walks in and stares around at the house. “Good to see you again. I see you made quite an impression on Carly.”

I start to stutter and she cuts me off.

“Save it. I care a lot about those two people in there. As long as you do right by them, we won’t have any problems. Deal?” She holds out her hand.

I reach out and take it. She has quite a grip for her size.

“They in there?” She points down the hall.

I nod.

She starts down the hall and I trail behind, trying to give them some space. James runs up and hugs her. I’m glad I suggested this, it’ll be good for Carly. I mean, sure, I’d love to have her alone again after that kiss. But I’m not about to push boundaries. This whole situation is complicated. The last thing I want is to make her life more difficult than it is.