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Authors: J. C. Reed,Jackie Steele

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Who said
anything about feeling dirty?

Seriously,
now she was really making me pissed.

“Punish
him? Dirty?” Realizing I was almost shouting, I lowered my voice. “Is that all
you were worried about? That I got laid?”

“Isn’t that
the reason you left?”

“No!”

“No?” she
asked, dumbfounded.

“Hell no!
You think I’d run away after getting intimate with some guy?” I took a deep
breath. “What the fuck?”

“Yes.
Laurie, as a matter of fact, I think that’s exactly what you’d do.”

What? Why
would she think that?

“Oh, my
god. You just did not say that.” I slapped my hand on my forehead and let out a
hysterical laugh. “I can’t believe you’d think I’d run away just because Chase
and I had sex. You make me sound like I couldn’t deal with it. With him.”

“So, that’s
not the reason?” Jude asked. Her tone quivered with doubt.

She didn’t
believe me.

I groaned.
“You got it all wrong, as usual. And I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear it.”

“Oh.” She
sounded genuinely affected. For a split second, silence ensued.

I relaxed a
little. But I should have known better. Jude wasn’t someone who’d ever drop a
topic—like ever—which made her a big pain in the ass. It was her
unrelenting persistence, her unwillingness to give up, that got her far in life
and helped her capture the attention of a TV producer. Sometimes, I wished I
were like her, minus the annoying, self-centered part. And sometimes I wished I
could strangle her just to make her shut up. But more often than not, I was
grateful for her intensity and for taking an interest in my life.

It was her
way of showing that she cared about me.

“Well, how
was it?” Jude’s voice drew my attention back to her.

“How was
what?”

“Your first
time?”

“Seriously?
You want to talk about it?” I leaned back and rested my head against the wall.
Maybe it had been the alcohol. Or us caught in the moment. Whatever it was that
made me do it, that night was the only thing I didn’t regret about Chase
Wright.

“It was
good,” I said quietly. “And before you ask the next question, the second time
wasn’t bad either.”

Or the
third time that followed shortly after.

“Unfortunately,”
I added quickly so she wouldn’t get the wrong idea.

“I gather
he wasn’t small or anything?” she asked nonchalantly, as though she didn’t
care, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Jude always
cared about the
tiny
details, or
rather the not so tiny ones. She had never made a secret out of the fact that
men came with tools she liked to compare and rate.

“What?” I
frowned at the empty space. “No, Chase isn’t small. I doubt there’s anything
about him that is small—including his ego.”

And ability
to lie.

The
telltale heat of a blush covered my cheeks as my thoughts trailed back to our
one date in his car when I undressed him. That very night I had kneeled in
front of him, eager to take him into my mouth and learn all the ways I could
please him.

I could
still taste him. He had been bigger than I ever imagined, and pulsating with
energy—ready to burst, for all the world to see.

Nothing had
given me more pleasure than pleasing him—until we fucked.

That had
blown my mind completely.

“Why did
you break up, Laurie? Just tell me because you’re killing me here.”

Closing my
eyes, I sighed.

That was
going to be so difficult.

“Jude,” I
whispered. “Chase isn’t who he says he is.”

“What do
you mean?” she asked. “No one’s ever who they say they are.”

“No, this
is different.” I paused, preparing my words. “He’s involved in some real bad
ass shit,” I said, remembering the call he received. “I don’t think he’s an
actor. All the information we found on Google was fake.”

“Of course
he’s not an actor.” She didn’t even sound surprised.

My heart
gave an almighty thud as the realization dawned on me. I opened my eyes,
disbelief flooding through me.

“You knew?”
I asked, taken aback.

I could
almost hear her nodding. “Yes, I knew. Or how else do you think I made up his
ad?”

My heart
stopped, then started to race.

I pulled
myself up from my lying position.

“What—”
I started slowly, my voice breaking. “What ad? Jude, what are you talking about?”

“His online
profile,” she explained. “I set it up to get you interested enough to hire him.
He’s not a professional; just some guy.”

I sucked in
a sharp breath.

Jude was
behind it.

The truth
hit me like a train.

Hard.

Fast.

The entire
situation felt so surreal, it seemed like a bad dream.

A nightmare
from which I’d wake up and realize Jude hadn’t betrayed my trust.

“Why would
you do that?” I whispered. “And behind my back?” My voice was quivering; my
body was shaking. My head was pounding so hard, it felt like a sledgehammer was
crushing my skull from the inside.

“Laurie,
that was the only way,” Jude said.

“The only
way for what?” My voice broke again.

“To help
you,” she explained.

“What the
fuck!”

“I’m sorry
I did it, but you needed to get married,” she explained. “When you just
wouldn’t shut up about needing a husband, I decided to do something about it.
It was my duty as your best friend. If you knew what I was up to, you wouldn’t
have hired him, but someone needed to get you a fake fiancé to help you out. It
needed to be convincing and yes, I thought if he pretended that he was an actor
you’d think he was a professional and that it would all work out.” She took a
deep, loud breath and let it out slowly. “My point is, I was just trying to
help you, so don’t be mad.”

I shook my
head and closed my eyes, feeling like everything I had known in my life was a
lie. Here I’d thought I couldn’t trust Chase. Turned out I couldn’t even trust
my own best friend.

“Laurie,
are you still there?”

I pulled up
my knees and buried my head between them, letting the phone drop to the floor.

My own best
friend had set me up with Chase behind my back. I had no idea who was more
stupid: Jude or I?

Chapter 5
 
 
 

“Laurie,
say something. Please don’t be mad at me. I tried to help you, I really did,”
Jude said, sounding emotional when I picked up the phone again.

Was she
crying?

Because it
sure sounded like it.

“I’m not
mad,” I whispered, feeling weak. “I’m just trying to figure out why you did it.
Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” My grip around the phone tightened so
hard, I feared I might just snap it in two.

“Laurie,”
she repeated my name as if it was some kind of mantra. “I’m sorry. I really am.
I don’t know what happened between Chase and you, but I’m sorry for meddling in
your affairs. I thought the letters were important to you.”

“They are.”

It was
true. They weren’t just important to me. They were all I wanted.

For years,
it had been my priority to acquire them. To get them, I had been willing to
give up my inheritance just to have something personal from my mother, to read
something about her, from her.

“So.” I let
out a deep breath. “Let’s get a few things straight. He’s not an actor?”

“No. I
created a false profile and linked him to a real actor.”

“Well, how
did you find him?”

“Through
Facebook.”

Where all
the creeps hung out and you could chat with any one of them at your
convenience.

Nice one.

My throat
tightened as I felt like another bomb had just been dropped on me and an
avalanche was about to bury me alive.

“I was just
trying to help you,” she repeated. “You would never have approved if you knew
what I was up to.”

Damn right,
I wouldn’t have.

I closed my
eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart.

“On the
bright side, you’ll get the letters,” Jude said. “So it wasn’t all for nothing,
right? Plus, you got rid of your V-card.”

She made it
sound like everything was fine.

I shook my
head, my fingers tearing at the fringes of the pillow.

“Stop it,”
I said at last. That instantly shut her up. “You have absolutely no idea what
you’ve done.”

Through the
awkward silence, I took a long breath as I prepared my next words carefully.

“Chase is
Mystery Guy,” I whispered. “He’s the guy I got stuck in the elevator with.”

The silence
on the other end of the line barely lasted three seconds. “That’s great. At
least you found him and the mystery’s solved.”

“No,
nothing’s fine, Jude. Please listen to me.” My heart crashed against my chest
as the image of being trapped in an elevator with no means of escaped flooded
my mind. “Chase is the one responsible for the entire floor crashing.”

The line
stayed silent. A minute passed. Then another.

“You don’t
know that,” she whispered after what felt like an eternity.

“Oh, I’m
pretty sure I’m right.”

“How?”

“Because I
found a folder. It’s the reason I left him.” I wet my lips nervously. It all
happened barely a day ago, so I still felt raw—as if someone had just
hurled a bag of rocks at me.

“A folder?”
Jude asked. Her voice carried a worried undertone.

“Yes.” I
paused and cleared my throat to get rid of the shaking in my voice. “It was all
in there. My bank account details. Everything about my mother and the estate.
The email I received about the interview and the time I would have to be there.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence we got stuck in the elevator. I don’t think
it’s a coincidence at all that the floor crashed.”

The line
remained silent. I took another breath as the memories came hard and
violently—exactly how the last day of my life had been.

“The folder
is all the proof I need that Chase was after my money from the start.” I pulled
my legs up to my chest and wrapped one arm around them, hugging myself. “I
didn’t give him a chance to explain, but I have proof that he lied to me, and
to you, to get me to marry him. To gain my trust. Who knows how far he’d go to
get what he wants.” The sudden realization sent a shiver through me. I knew
nothing about Chase Wright. He could be dangerous. Heck, he probably was.
Everything I had held back came crashing down. My hands began to shake. A
throbbing sensation settled in my head.

“One
hundred people, Jude. That’s how many got hurt. I’m so happy… I’m so grateful
no one got killed that day, or else I wouldn’t know how to live with myself.” I
wiped a stray tear off my cheek and looked at the moisture on my finger, my
mind a million miles away. “He had it all planned. I know he had. If I hadn’t
found the folder, I would never have discovered that he was behind it.”

“Oh, my
God,” Jude said slowly. “Are you sure?”

Her question
sounded more like a statement. She was finally beginning to believe me.

“Yes.” I
nodded.

“I had no
idea.” She paused.

“What
should I do?” I whispered, more to myself than to her.

“Get
divorced. Annul the marriage. I mean, it’s only been twenty-four hours.” Her
tone was gentle. In spite of the monstrosity of the situation, she seemed
surprisingly calm.

“No, I
can’t,” I whispered. “Not yet anyway.” I felt the question in the air, so I
went on to explain the one mistake I had been stupid enough to make. “I signed
a contract, so theoretically I’m bound by his terms. It was his condition
before getting married. The fool I was, I believed him, so I signed the damn
thing.” I drew a shaky breath, biding for time before I continued, “So, to
answer your question, I can’t get divorced for the next twelve months, which of
course means that he has access to my inheritance.”

“Why didn’t
you tell me?” Jude whispered.

I shrugged.
“I don’t know. Why didn’t you tell me you found Chase on Facebook?”

“Well, I
didn’t find Chase per se,” Jude explained. “He actually contacted me a while
back.”

A while
back.

What did
that mean?

I cocked my
head, my interest instantly piqued. “When?”

“Well, I’m
not sure when
exactly
, but it’s been
a while,” Jude replied. “But he was already on my friends list when I asked him
if he could help you. I don’t remember adding him though, but then again I
always accept everyone who sends me a friend request, which meant he could have
been on my friends list for a long time, way before he even made that comment.”

“What
comment?”

“Like I
said, he was the one who contacted me,” Jude said. “I posted a Christmas
picture of us two partying. He left a comment to say that we were beautiful.
That was half a year ago. I thought it was cute, so I dropped him a message to
say thank you. I never thought he’d write back.”

I shook my
head, unsure if I should laugh or cry. “God, Jude.
Catfish
would have a field day with you. How many fucking Facebook
friends do you have?”

She let out
a laugh. “Too many. I think I’ve reached my limit.”

“There’s a
limit?” I asked, surprised. “No, don’t answer that one. So he contacted you.
What happened next?”

“He replied
to ask me if I was your sister, and if you had a boyfriend, because a woman as
beautiful as you couldn’t possibly be single. And—”

I let out a
laugh, interrupting her.

“Oh, my
God.” I winced in embarrassment, burying my face in my hands. “Please don’t
tell me you bought that one. I can’t believe anyone could be so gullible.”

“I’m not
gullible.” I could almost hear the annoyance in her voice. “Of course I bought
it. Why wouldn’t I? Anyway, I didn’t think much of it. For all I know, he could
even be in your friends list.”

God, what a
creep.

Maybe he
had escaped a psychiatric institution. It would explain why he was a stalker.

“Jude, I
don’t like this,” I whispered. “He has all the details of my bank account, and
a value estimation of my mother’s estate. That means he’s some kind of
sociopath who plans ahead. I mean, six months? Hello? This guy, whoever he is,
is driven by money and he had it all planned out. So don’t talk with him
anymore.”

“But if he
wants to know—”

“No, you
don’t tell him anything. Do you hear me? If he’s standing outside the door, you
don’t open. If he wants to know where I am, you don’t tell him. In fact, you
block his calls and avoid him. You remove him from your friends list. You block
him
everywhere
.”

“Okay,” she
said, and for a moment I imagined her nodding her head as she digested
everything I had just told her. “Okay, I can do that. Do you want me to call
the cops?”

I let the
thought sink in for a moment.

What would
happen if she did?

They would
listen to Jude’s story about Chase, but then what? According to Law and Order
and all the crime movies I had ever seen, I knew they wouldn’t be able to charge
him without some major proof.

Proof—the
folder—I was sure would disappear, if it hadn’t already. I couldn’t
believe I just left it behind rather than take it with me.

“No,” I
said after giving it some thought. “Not yet. Give me time to figure something out.”

“All
right.” She sighed. “Where are you, by the way? I’ll finish up early today and
can get us some ice cream. We can figure it all out together over a movie.”

I sighed as
I bit off a chunk of chocolate. The sickeningly sweet taste made me grimace. Our
usual nights in. Ice cream and a movie. Under normal circumstances, I would
have loved that. “Not today.”

Her voice
grew wary instantly. “Why? Where are you?”

I tossed
the chocolate on the coffee table and took my time swallowing the chunk in my
mouth. “In Acapulco, but that’s not why.”

She let out
a laugh. “You are where?”

“In
Mexico.” I sighed. “Why are you surprised? It was your idea. And before you
ask, yes, I listened to another one of your suggestions. I hope it does me more
good than the last time. I’m sorry for not inviting you to come along.”

“So you’re
not coming back today.”

“No.” I bit
on my lip. My throat constricted. I took a sharp breath to calm the sudden
tension in my chest. “Jude, I need this break. Clint, Chase, the whole
marriage, heck my whole life, it’s all become too much. I never had peace. I
realized that today. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Of course
you know who you are.”

“No, I
don’t,” I said, meaning every word of it. “I’m Laurie Hanson, this much I know
because it’s my name, but I have no home. No place to stay. My parents are
dead. I have no family.”

“I’m your
family, Laurie. You know that.”

I
hesitated. How could I possibly explain it to her when it took me such a long
time to realize it myself? “I know. You’re my adopted family. You’re also my
best friend—the best I could ever have. But you can’t help me when I have
to find myself. This thing with Chase...I have to make peace with it.
Everything in my life was built on struggles and survival. It’s not a very
stable foundation for the future. I can’t continue like this. I have to stop
being naïve.”

“You’re in
love with him, aren’t you?” Her question came out of nowhere. The air I thought
I was holding came out in one big swoosh.

“I…What?” I
frowned. “Of course I’m not in love with him.” My voice came out too
high-pitched, the lie obvious.

“Laurie.”
Jude’s voice was soft. “I’m your friend, not your enemy. You can tell me
anything. You know that. I might scold, but I’ll never judge.”

I turned my
face to the window and gazed at the sky for a few moments.

Yes, there
had been a time when I thought I could be in love with Chase.

And there
had been a time when I thought he could fall in love with me, too.

A tear
rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away angrily, but a few more took its place.

I wasn’t
crying out of pity for myself.

I was
crying to cleanse my heart. I was crying to get rid of everything that had been
eating away at it.

“I don’t
love him, Jude. Period. You won’t ever hear me say it, so stop asking. Besides,
what’s the point in talking about it anyway? It’s over. We’re done.”

“He hurt
you, and you feel the need to be alone. I get that,” she whispered. “But at
least let me see you. It’s not a good time for you to be alone. I’m going to
ask the producers to give me a few days off. We’ll take a vacation together.”

“No.” I
shook my head vehemently, even though she couldn’t see it. “I really need to be
on my own, Jude. I need this break, if only to find myself. To think things
through. I don’t think I’m strong enough to return to L.A. and face reality
just yet. I’m not strong enough to read my mom’s letters just yet, or face more
struggles.”

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