Bad Attitude (17 page)

“It’s not a tuxedo, it’s a morning suit.”

Jamie made a sound of disgust in his throat.

“Of course we played Monopoly. But with real money,” Gavin continued.

Jamie had been looking right before swinging onto the side street and stared at Gavin’s face for a second, trying to decide if he was serious. Gavin raised his eyebrows, and Jamie couldn’t help laughing. The guy was quick. Jamie had to give him that.

“You’re a fucking dick, Montgomery. Morning suit? What the hell is that?”

“The striped trousers and the tails.”

“That’s freaking weird. How many different tuxedo things are there?”

“White tie, black tie, dinner jacket, morning suits—”

“Wait. Why did I ask?”

“You have dress uniforms.”

“And what a pain in the ass those are.” Jamie swung into the lot.

“Can I come in with you?”

“Sure.” Most people were interested in seeing inside a precinct—assuming they weren’t there to be processed.

The harbor cops, rescue divers and SWAT all shared the large precinct in Dundalk with the county police. Most of the time Jamie was out on the water, but during the winter, he pulled a regular shift often enough to hate it. He’d tried to get into SWAT when he joined up, but the height shit held him back the way it did when he tried to make SEAL.

The water unit had its own entrance and command room, joined to the main building by a narrow hall. There was a low hum from the main building. Gavin’s head moved around as Jamie led them through to the locker room. “Is that an interrogation room?” He pointed at a door.

“Actually, that’s a closet, but this one is.” Jamie jerked his thumb at the door.

This time of night, the locker room was deserted. The guys working tonight wouldn’t be back in until seven the next morning.

He popped the door, grabbed his wallet, which was right the fuck where he’d left it and turned back to Gavin, who had disappeared.

Even Gavin couldn’t be crazy enough to think they could squeeze a quickie off in the showers. Jamie checked through the bathroom, back out into the hall and through the comm. He was about to go out to the truck when an idea hit him. He went out in time to see Gavin step over the gunwales of the Sea Ark command boat.

Jamie went out onto the dock and shook his head. “Get off. Right now.”

Gavin held on to the rail. “Is this what you brought me to shore on?”

“No. Gunwales are too high. Rescues use the Hurricanes.” Jamie pointed with his chin.

“Show me around.”

Gavin thought he had Jamie all figured out now. Just pull his string and make him jump. He never should have brought up so much as the suggestion he cared what Gavin was feeling.

“What for?” Jamie folded his arms.

“Because it’s cool. I mean, I’ve been out plenty and seen the harbor patrol boats, but never thought about them before. Not until one fished me out of the Patapsco.” Hand on the rail, Gavin stepped around the cabin.

Jamie could physically haul the arrogant fuck off the deck. He was reasonably sure Gavin wasn’t trying to incite a police brutality charge.

But that struggle would get noticed on the security monitor, whereas someone apparently checking or getting gear wouldn’t. The area was gated, had to get to the boat by water or through the station, so unless there was something to see, no one would notice.

Jamie vaulted over the gunwale and intercepted Gavin on the port side of the cabin, where they were shielded from view. “Whatever game you’re playing, stop it right now.”

Gavin leaned against the superstructure. “Nice night for a boat ride. Let’s take it out.”

“Are you high? I can’t— I’m not taking her out.”

Gavin’s gaze narrowed. Was that actually irritation? Frustration? Who the fuck could tell?

“Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I don’t have one.” Jamie stepped closer. “Now get off this boat.”

Gavin grabbed Jamie’s head and kissed him. For a second, Jamie got lost in the smell and the taste that meant all kinds of good things. He’d slanted his head and was meeting Gavin’s tongue with his own before a moan that echoed hollowly on water brought him back as effectively as a jump over the side would have.

He brought his arms up between them and knocked Gavin’s clutching hands away.

“Christ, Gavin. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

That flash of irritation was gone, buried again under an expression as bland as dry toast. “Nothing that I’m aware of. You seem to be somewhat combustible at the moment.”

Combustible was right. Jamie turned away and leaned over the rail, entertaining a serious idea of sticking his head in the water to cool down before he hoisted the idiot over one shoulder and dropped him on the dock.

Jamie felt Gavin behind him. “Don’t touch me.” Jamie took a deep breath, the smell of diesel and stale harbor water familiar in a way that didn’t get him dangerously close to losing his mind. Jamie turned around and put a hand on Gavin’s chest, not hard, just enough to move him back a step.

“Look. It may not be true in your tax bracket, but for us mortals here on the ground, there are consequences.”

“I thought you didn’t give a shit what people thought.”

“I don’t. Anyone who doesn’t like me or where I stick my dick can fuck right on off to hell, but I can’t—I don’t do crazy shit like that. I’m not risking what I’ve got for a little fun.”

“Little?” Though the rest of his face stayed motionless, Gavin raised his eyebrows. Then he spread his hands. “If anything happened, with the boat or your job, it would be taken care of. Monetary compensation goes a long way toward—”

“Fuck you.” The heat was gone, leaving nothing but cold ash in Jamie’s chest. The whole thing was nothing but a joke, a game. Jamie bet Gavin got a good laugh telling his friends about the hotheaded cop he was doing. “Sorry to screw with your plans for a tax deduction. Bet your accountant would love that line item. Hell, we’ll go back to my truck and drive somewhere quiet. I’ll blow you, and then it can be ‘for services rendered by civil servant.’ I’ll take the deduction in cash.”

In a blink, Jamie saw what anger really looked like on Gavin’s face. It wasn’t a lot different than his usual expression. But it was in his eyes, as cold as black ice, a pinprick of reflected light at the center of a darkness that was suddenly bigger than the open water around them. Jamie wanted that feeling gone in both of them. Wanted the heat back. The answering fire he got from Gavin in bed.

“You didn’t want my money earlier.” Gavin’s voice reminded Jamie of an animal cornered and wounded, ready to bite.

“I still don’t want it.”

“What was it you were demanding earlier? Right. To find out if I give a shit. Of course not. I have no feelings. Nothing to complain about. I can buy anything I want, so why should I care about anything.”

“I didn’t say that.” Jamie put both of his hands around the back of his own neck and squeezed out a little frustration. “I said…” He took a deep breath. “I said I liked spending time with you, and I wanted to know…” he looked up at Gavin, but the bastard didn’t throw Jamie a lifeline, “…if you liked being with me.”

“No.”

“Okay then. Glad we cleared that up. Now get off the goddamned boat so we can get the fuck out of here.”

“No you didn’t say that.” Gavin’s patronizing tone got right the hell on Jamie’s last nerve.

“What?” This was what happened when you dipped your wick in the same spot too many times. Things got messy. And confusing.

“You never said you liked spending time with me. All you asked is if you were boring me.”

Jamie tipped his head to look skyward, but there wasn’t any help coming from that direction either. “Must be entertaining the holy hell out of you right now.”

“Jamie.” There was something about the way Gavin said his name then, almost hoarse, drawn out and deeper than normal. Though two guys couldn’t be more different, Gavin saying his name like that reminded Jamie of the affectionate teasing in Colton’s
Donny
.

“You’re never boring,” Gavin went on, “and while I wouldn’t call this evening fun, I do like spending time with you. Even when your dick isn’t up my ass.”

That was better. At least Jamie didn’t feel so raked over the coals. Maybe Gavin was feeling a little crisped. “Okay. But we need to get ashore. Not even the precinct commander could screw around with his wife out here without landing in deep shit. Security cameras.”

“Oh.”

Only one word, but Jamie could hear something in Gavin’s voice.

“Could have been fun though,” Gavin added, “with the boat rocking, and us rocking.”

“Don’t you have a yacht or two lying around?” Jamie stepped back onto the dock and checked the lines.

“Oh, one or two at least.” It was easier to read Gavin’s sarcasm now. “But that wouldn’t be the same. No adventure.”

“No risk of me losing my job, you mean?”

Gavin walked down the dock to stand next to one of the Zodiacs. “Is that the one you pulled me into?”

“Your buddy on that one. You were on that one.” Jamie pointed at the Hurricane. “Why does it matter so much?”

“I was kind of out of it. Do you remember all the details of someone saving your life?” Gavin gestured toward the spot where Colton’s tattoo was, then tucked his hands in his pockets and waited.

“I don’t remember it at all. Just what I was told.”

“Which was?”

Jamie looked out at the bridge. “We were being dropped in Guatemala. High-altitude parachute drop. I’d done it before, but this was a little higher, and I guess there was something funky about it for me. I blacked out on the way down. All the safety stuff that was supposed to kick in didn’t. A guy in my platoon came over to rip out my bad chute and pull the backup. We got tangled. He had to cut me free, then carried my weight with his chute. We landed hard.”

“Did he die?”

Jamie looked over at Gavin and shook his head. “Fucked up his ankle.”

“But that tattoo, the wings and empty boots. I know what that means.”

Colton milking it, having Jamie wait on him, that laughing
Donny boy
echoing every few minutes. Then that stupid prick daring him up on top of the ruins. Which gave, his ankle or the old rocks? Didn’t matter.

“Three weeks later. He was screwing around somewhere he shouldn’t be. He fell, broke his neck.” Jamie bit off the words.

Gavin didn’t say anything, but stood next to him as they both looked at the bridge, the water knocking the boats against the dock.

They stood there watching the lights streak across the bridge until Jamie could hear his heart beating in time with the slap of waves.

Jamie took a deep breath of that familiar smell coming off the bay and wanted to fill his nose with the leather and evergreen of the man next to him instead.

As he turned, Gavin put a light hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “Do you have to work tomorrow?”

Jamie shook his head.

“Come home with me tonight.”

Chapter Twelve

The bed—no, the body next to Gavin—jerked violently. He knew where he was immediately. In his bed at the manor. Beside him, Jamie tensed again, started and grabbed on to Gavin’s upper arm, fingers digging into the bone.

Without a sound, Jamie was awake. He released Gavin’s arm and rolled to look up at the ceiling, his eyes glittering in the dark.

They’d never made it to Benjy’s. Jamie had been quiet—very quiet for him—on the drive out to the manor. Not a comment for the cars in the back drive, or on the walk up to Gavin’s room. No hi for Annabelle, though he did stop to pet her.

They didn’t talk much during sex, but it was eerily silent when Jamie ripped off Gavin’s shirt and pushed him back onto his bed, shoving his jeans and boxer briefs down before sucking Gavin in as if Gavin’s cock were the only thing keeping Jamie alive.

He’d definitely been paying attention to all the things Gavin liked because he would be happy to award a bonus for how fast Jamie was getting Gavin to the edge. Maybe it wasn’t technique. It was how focused Jamie was, how desperately he seemed to need this, need Gavin’s body under his hands and mouth, need Gavin. The intensity had Gavin primed to shoot as much as the dizzying thing Jamie was doing with his tongue and lips and hot, wet throat.

He was still shaking, coming down from that amazing high, when Jamie shoved him farther up on the bed and, naked, rocked himself off in the groove of Gavin’s thigh and hip.

The last communication Gavin remembered was pointing out the location of the bathroom.

The silence now was different. Not the hunger of before, but a watchfulness. An uncertainty. Even in the dark Gavin felt Jamie’s unblinking stare, his resolve to keep from sliding back into whatever had jerked him awake. Gavin knew if he put his hand on Jamie’s chest, his heartbeat would jump quick and hard. Gavin had thought he understood what Jamie wanted from him, thought Jamie’s constant digs were his clear warning to not expect more than this amazing connection they had in bed, but there’d been something different about him tonight. The invitation for a date was strange enough, but there’d been something more than a firm push away in Jamie’s bitterness about their relative incomes, a demand for something Gavin wished he knew how to give. For the first time in a long time, it had hurt, knowing he couldn’t live up to someone’s expectations—to Jamie’s expectations.

Jamie moved on the pillow then reached over toward the nightstand, a question in his eyes. Gavin nodded, relaxing as he realized this was something he did have to give.

He might not suffer from nightmares himself, but he had plenty of waking ones. Jolts of panic whenever his phone showed a call from Lily, the emptiness of wandering through a life that didn’t fit, the bleak realization that even that fall off the bridge hadn’t done anything to alter the monotony of the future.

There were two antidotes for that feeling, and since Jamie didn’t enjoy the chemical, pain-killing options, Gavin would be glad to supply the other. He was ready then when Jamie gently pushed Gavin onto his stomach, ready when the sounds of a condom and the cold swipe of lube meant Jamie was eager to take what Gavin could give.

Despite Jamie’s urgency, his entry didn’t hurt. The steady, solid press of him had all of Gavin’s nerves singing. After Jamie was in, he waited until Gavin relaxed and arched his back to meet Jamie the rest of the way. The warm sac of Jamie’s balls tingled against the stretched-thin skin below Gavin’s ass as they took a deep breath together. So full, so good and Gavin still wanted more.