Backwoods (24 page)

It wasn’t just sex. If she didn’t need more, she would get up and leave. Staying with him, sleeping beside him...that was relationship stuff.

“I forgot how much I used to hate Lydia,” she said, stroking his hair.

“You hated her?”

“I hated them both.”

She still hated Ray sometimes for hurting Brooke. The plane ticket stunt had been typical. Ray wasn’t always a terrible father, and he sincerely loved Brooke. He just didn’t seem capable of giving her his complete attention. Expensive gifts and infrequent visits were the extent of his parenting commitment. He’d become more driven each year, more selfish.

“What changed?” Nathan asked.

“Remember how I said I felt out of place at my dad’s house?”

“Yes.”

“My stepmom treated me like a guest. But Lydia treated Brooke like her own daughter. That meant a lot to me.”

“She had a miscarriage.”

“When?”

“Years ago.”

“I didn’t know,” Abby said.

“She always wanted a girl.”

“Do you think that’s why she’s been so good to Brooke?”

“Maybe. Brooke is easy to get along with, too.”

Abby contemplated that for a moment. In many ways, Lydia had been a better parent to Brooke than Ray. It was one of the positive outcomes of their divorce. “I can’t hate someone who loves my child.”

He lifted his head to study her. “I know what you mean.”

“Do you hate Ray?”

“I’ll never like him.”

Abby turned off the lights and pulled a sheet over their naked bodies. Then she curled up next to him, savoring his warmth. What a strange turn of events. She would never have imagined having an affair with Nathan Strom, or feeling sorry for Ray and Lydia.

A week ago, she hadn’t believed she could fall in love again.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

B
ROOKE
WASN
’
T
PAYING
attention to
Teen Wolf.

Her mind kept straying to Wyatt and his father. She knew the police had found a body in the woods. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing it up close. Her skin crawled whenever she pictured that poor boy in the cold, dark morgue. What kind of father killed his own son? Her dad was no prize, but at least he wasn’t a homicidal maniac.

Although she relished Leo’s company, she felt restless. Now that they were in a safe place, she had time to second-guess her behavior over the past few days.

They’d sort of hooked up at Mavericks this winter. She’d twined her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. After a short hesitation, he’d responded. He’d kissed her like a boyfriend, putting his hands on her body and his tongue in her mouth. Then he’d stopped and pushed her away, as if remembering who she was. Instead of talking to her about it, he’d turned on the engine and driven out of the parking lot. He’d gone straight to her dorm at Berkeley, getting rid of her as soon as possible.

Since then, they’d only seen each other a few times. They still hung out and cuddled. Her playful attempts to instigate another make-out session had failed. He’d made it clear that he wasn’t going to kiss her again, let alone have sex with her. He’d told her to get herself off, as if that would lessen her desire for him.

Maybe she’d pursued Leo because she felt more comfortable with him than with anyone else. She didn’t trust other boys as much. Alex had claimed she wasn’t feminine or relaxed enough to come. Leo had said that wasn’t true, but he’d also seemed annoyed with her for touching him. It was confusing. Nice girls weren’t supposed to get horny or be aggressive. They were demure and undemanding, frolicking in meadows with butterflies.

It troubled her to think that she’d done something to draw Gary Nash’s attention. That he’d targeted her because she’d been too friendly to him on the trail. Her bikini was too small, her shorts too short. Her manner was too provocative. She was too desperate, too needy. Too energetic in her affections. Even her mother thought so.

She studied Leo from beneath lowered lashes. He was sitting beside her on the bed, his injured leg propped up on pillows. His jet-black hair was casually disheveled. If she leaned in to smell him, he’d smell good. He was smooth and clean and handsome. When she thought of Wyatt’s less-attractive features, slack with death, her heart twisted in her chest. She and Leo were lucky in so many ways.

Leo muted the TV. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re acting weird.”

“How?”

He gestured to the distance between them. That was unusual. Nine times out of ten, she was plastered against him.

“My mom told me to stop hanging all over you.”

“She did?”

Brooke hugged a pillow to her chest, shrugging.

He looked hurt. “I thought she liked me.”

She smiled at the misunderstanding. “She does like you. She thinks I’m bothering you. Throwing myself at you.”

“You’re not bothering me.”

To her dismay, tears filled her eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

She brushed the tears away, embarrassed. “You told me to find someone else to...”

“Fuck?”

For the first time in years, she couldn’t bring herself to repeat a vulgar term.

“Forget what I said. I was being an asshole.”

“You meant it.”

“Actually, I didn’t.”

She wasn’t sure she believed him. “I know you get mad when I touch you. When I try to make you want me.”

“You don’t have to try.”

“I don’t?”

“I’d want you even if you didn’t touch me. And I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at the situation. I’m mad because I can’t have you.”

Brooke studied him for a moment, her heart racing. “Why not?”

He glanced away, as if reluctant to elaborate.

“Because of my dad?”

“Because of a lot of things.”

“Like what?”

He didn’t answer.

She shoved the pillow aside and rose from the bed. All of the hurt and frustration and fear she’d experienced over the past few days seemed to well up inside her. “If you’re not interested, just say so. I can handle it. I’d rather get rejected than strung along because you don’t have the balls to tell me the truth.”

His mouth thinned with anger. “You want the truth?”

“Yes.”

“You remember that photo of us at the pool party?”

She flushed at the memory, nodding. It was right after graduation. She’d had her first taste of alcohol, gotten tipsy and fallen into the pool in a yellow sundress. When she came out of the water, the fabric clung to every curve. One of her friends had taken a photo of Leo carrying her into the house. She’d been trying to kiss him. He’d been trying to keep her decently covered, without success. That image had been uploaded to Facebook, but removed at Brooke’s request. “You saw it?”

“Not only did I see it, your dad saw it.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No.”

“How?”

“He was snooping around my room, and I had it saved on my computer. With other assorted images.”

It took her a few seconds to understand his meaning. The photo had showed a lot of skin, including half her ass. He’d been wearing low-slung board shorts. They’d both been dripping wet. “You were looking at it for...”

“Yes,” he said, not meeting her gaze.

She couldn’t believe he’d used that picture for sexual gratification when there was explicit porn all over the internet. The idea gave her hot flashes. “Did my dad ask why it was on your computer?”

“He’s a guy. He didn’t have to ask.”

“What did he say?”

“That he’d call the cops on me if I touched you. He threatened to plant a bag of pot in my car and have me arrested. He also said he’d cut off my balls, but I assume that was an exaggeration.”

Brooke curled her hands into fists. “If he ever did anything to hurt you, I’d never speak to him again.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters! It’s not fair.”

“He’s right about us, though. You and me...it’s not a good idea.”

She flinched as if he’d struck her. “How can you say that?”

“Because it would change things between us. I care about you too much to fuck up our relationship. I get frustrated when we wrestle around, but I like touching you. You shouldn’t feel bad about touching me.”

“Why would you fuck it up?”

“I’d drag you down, Brooke.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is, and you know it is. You’re going somewhere. I’m just...getting high.”

She sat next to him on the bed again. His drug habit concerned her, but she wouldn’t scold him. “Don’t listen to my dad. He might be rich and successful, but he’s barely human. Instead of judging you, he should look at himself.”

“He won’t.”

“We don’t have to tell him.”

He shook his head, denying her. “Maybe after you finish school. For now, you should have fun. Date other people.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“Yes,” he said, looking her in the eye.

She supposed it would be more reasonable to take a rain check. They were enrolled in different colleges. He was planning to spend a semester abroad. Their parents might get a divorce. They should wait for a better time instead of starting a furtive, long-distance relationship. But patience wasn’t one of her virtues. Leo’s confession about the pool-party photo had turned her on. He wanted her. She wanted him. They were alone in a hotel room. Why shouldn’t they do what felt natural?

“We can still be together,” she said. “Just this once.”

His eyes darkened at the suggestion. “Just this once?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, toying with the leather cord he wore. It was attached to an antique Japanese coin, which lay at the hollow of his throat. She’d given him the pendant for his birthday last year. “I want the closeness you talked about, just for tonight. You don’t have to be my boyfriend.”

Although he hesitated, he didn’t say no outright. His pulse throbbed beneath her fingertips. When she moistened her lips, his gaze lingered there for a few seconds. Then he opened his mouth, as if to try to dissuade her again.

She shut him up with a kiss.

That was the end of his resistance. He kissed her back with enthusiasm, exploring her mouth in silky strokes. He tasted hot and minty and eager. She’d wanted to do this for so long. The last time, in his car, she’d been drowsy and uncertain, lost in a marijuana haze. Now she was fully awake, fully aware. She straddled his lap and pressed closer, threading her fingers through his dark hair.

He was already aroused, throbbing against her, but he didn’t rush anything. They kissed until she felt drenched in him, her mouth melded to his. She took it to the next level by tugging off his shirt and staring, lust-struck, at his beautiful chest. When she pulled her top over her head and released the clasp on her bra, he groaned.

She cupped her hands over her breasts, suddenly shy again.

He frowned at her in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“I’m...small.”

“So what?”

“If you had a small dick, wouldn’t you be embarrassed?”

His gaze lowered to the apex of her thighs. She’d been rubbing on his erection for at least thirty minutes. “Your tits are sexy,” he said, digging his fingernails into her hips.

She relaxed her hands a little. “They are?”

“Fuck, yeah.”

Her nipples jutted forth, demanding attention. He was watching her intently. She stroked the sensitive tips, wiggling back and forth on his lap. This action sparked a stronger reaction than she’d anticipated. With a low growl, he flipped her onto her back and yanked off her shorts. Her panties came down with them. Then she was completely naked, breathless with excitement. He kissed her mouth again, his hands roving over her body. He squeezed her bottom and swirled his tongue around her stiff nipples. By the time he worked up to touching her between the legs, she was slick with desire.

That seemed to please him. His nostrils flared as he slid one finger inside her, very gently. Then he withdrew, using that fingertip to stimulate her in slow circles. She moaned at the sensation, biting down on her lower lip.

He studied her face, seeming enthralled. “Is this good?”

“Yes.”

“Should I go slower?”

She didn’t know how to tell him what she wanted, so she covered his hand with hers and showed him. He adjusted his rhythm easily, increasing pressure. She realized that Alex had never bothered to learn her body. After a token effort to arouse her, he’d declared her ready and climbed on top of her.

Leo was more attentive, more imaginative. He paused to dip his fingers inside her and resumed strumming at a steady pace. He also sucked on her earlobe in a manner that was blatantly suggestive of oral sex.

“Oh, yes,” she said, gripping his wrist.

His breath fanned her ear. “Like this?”

She came with a sharp cry, exploding in pleasure. The climax hit her like a freight train and went on forever. He kept stroking her tingling flesh, gentling his motions but not stopping until she quieted.

“Wow,” she said, feeling boneless.

“I told you there was nothing wrong with you.”

“I guess you were right.”

He made no move to unbuckle his belt, so she did it for him, pressing her palm to the front of his shorts.

“We don’t have to—”

“I want to.”

She thought his injured leg might get in the way, but it didn’t seem to bother him. He put on a condom and positioned himself over her. When he slid into her, it felt so much better than she’d expected. Hotter, slicker, sweeter. She wrapped her legs around his waist, transported. He kissed her as if her lips were honey. Although he rode her slow, it was over fast. Burying his face in her neck, he found his release with a low groan.

Somehow, she managed not to whisper
I love you
.

Afterward, they got dressed and watched TV. She clung to him, wondering if they’d ever cuddle like this again. Maybe it would be awkward to see him on Thanksgiving break, hoping he didn’t have a girlfriend.

He was right—sex changed everything. Their relationship would never be the same. She’d risked losing him for a few minutes of pleasure. Mind-blowing, toe-curling pleasure, but still. Now that it was over, she felt greedy and selfish.

She didn’t voice those concerns, although they weighed heavily on her. Leo had given her one of the best nights she’d ever had. He’d also warned her of the consequences before he touched her. Instead of listening, she’d kissed away his protests. What would he say now, besides I told you so? He’d been an active participant, but she was the clear aggressor. She had to take the lion’s share of the blame.

Leo didn’t seem to want to talk, either. He took a pain pill—
now
his leg was hurting—and turned off the TV. Brooke dimmed the lights, snuggling closer to him. His breaths grew steady and even with sleep.

Her cell phone rattled about an hour later, startling her awake. She sat up and grabbed it. There was a short text from her father:

pleas come to cabin i hurt my back

Rubbing her eyes, she tried to call him. He didn’t pick up, so she texted a quick reply, asking if he was okay. Again, no answer.

Damn it.

Her father wasn’t a tough guy about injuries. He was a board certified surgeon. He’d send for an ambulance if he needed one. It was unusual for him to make this kind of request from her, but who else could he ask? Lydia had thrown her ring at him. He was hundreds of miles from his friends and family. His current paramour couldn’t help him.

The text itself was odd, too. He made abbreviations on occasion, but rarely misspelled words or ignored capitalization rules. Maybe his batteries were dying and he had to text fast. That would explain his lack of response.

She rose from the bed, careful not to wake Leo. Shoving her feet into flip-flops, she put on her Baja hoodie. Ella and Paul had gone to the cabin to retrieve their belongings earlier today. Ella had driven her mom’s SUV back. The keys were sitting on the table.