Backstage (The Barter System Book 4) (36 page)

She understood that and knew she’d need help. 

It didn’t change the fact that after the initial shock, she wanted this baby more than anything else in her entire life.

“I can’t tell the guys until after the engagement party.  I promised to be there and I can’t ask them to keep such a secret from their fiancées.”  She quirked a brow.  “I wasn’t going to ask either of
you
to keep it but you’re so damn
nosy
.” 

Soon they were laughing and crying and holding on to one another. 

After the girls returned to the city, Theodora walked into the enormous estate kitchen.  With her notebook, her laptop, and a list of groceries the staff picked up for her, she took a deep, fortifying breath.

Then she started to cook.

Chapter Eleven

Looking back on the days after she left the estate, Theodora thought she might be one of the greatest actresses of all time. 

No one other than Carly and Bristol knew she was pregnant and she was relieved that she wasn’t afflicted with any of the symptoms such as nausea or bloating.  Her build and the clothes she’d always worn made the gradual rounding easy to hide. 

She was keeping another secret from everyone in her life. 

After fine-tuning several of her recipes and then recording them with her laptop, she created a website and hired a company to promote them.  She self-published her cookbook and all the photos were taken by her. 

She idly wondered if Kiefer would like them. 

After several weeks spent reinventing her life at the Zelder estate, she returned to the city in time to celebrate Christmas Eve with her cousins and her mother with a beautiful meal on the second floor of the home where she’d grown up. 

All of them were leaving on a chartered plane to spend Christmas day in Oklahoma with the Johannsons on their ranch.  They planned to stay through the New Year.

After several invitations – steadily increasing in pressure – to join them over the course of the evening, she finally slammed her hands down on the kitchen counter in frustration. 

“I’m capable of being alone.  I don’t need to be
babied
.  Spend time with your significant others, their family, and your future in-laws.  I’ll be fine.  I’m not an invalid yet.” 

Realizing her outburst, she exhaled roughly.  “I’m sorry.  I just…I can
do
it.  I can be independent.  I’m so careful.”  She rubbed her fingers over her temples.  “I need to know
you
believe I can do it.” 

Looking at their faces, she saw their pain for her.  “It’s not always easy but I make it.  I’m still here.  I haven’t gone blind yet.  I’m stronger than you think I am.” 

It was Isaiah, the man who’d been a sort of father figure to her since her first memory, who came around the counter and took her in his arms. 

He was so gentle for such a big man. 

“When you were born, you weighed less than three pounds.  You were very sick in the beginning and they kept you in the hospital for days as Aunt Bridgette lost her mind with worry.  The day you came home, she let me hold you.  You were so tiny but absolutely perfect.  I loved you instantly.  Then you punched me in the nose.” 

The others laughed through tears. 

“I stuffed my nose with cotton to stop the bleeding and wouldn’t give you back to Bridge.  I knew you were a fighter.  You’ve
always
been independent, strong, and capable, Theodora.  If we hold you too tight or worry too much, it’s because the world without you in it would be unbearable.  I’ll do better at showing you how much I believe in you.” 

She sobbed against his chest and he held her for a long time, murmuring nonsensical things that finally made her laugh. 

Looking up into his dark eyes, she said, “Your children will be the luckiest people on the planet, Isaiah.  I love the man you are
so
much.” 

For a long moment, he stared at her, his mind working.  He swallowed hard and tightened his arms around her.  She could see the rising anger, frustration, and confusion on his face and there was no doubt in her mind that he somehow
knew
she was pregnant.

A small frown formed between his eyes and he opened his mouth to speak.  She gave a slight shake of her head and whispered, “
Please.
” 

It was all she could manage. 

He nodded once but she could see it cost his protective side dearly. 

For the rest of the evening, he watched her like a hawk and the way their female cousins rushed to lift or bend for her confirmed his suspicions. 

The brothers carried Bridgette down to her apartment and she spent a few minutes talking to them before the drugs pulled her under. 

At the front door, the girls chatted animatedly while Ezra and Isaiah put on their jackets.  Side by side, they were as lovely as they’d been as children.  She kissed their cheeks and Ezra focused on his brother’s face. 

The younger Zelder glanced back and forth between them with his eyes narrowed.  “Something happened,” he said softly.

“Everything is fine.  Be safe tomorrow and enjoy your trip.”  Her false animation made him more suspicious and he took her hand. 

“Everything isn’t fine, you look…”  His eyes widened.  “
Theodora…
” Ezra breathed unevenly. 

“Ssh.  We’ll talk when you return.  I love you.  Thank you for a million things, big and small.  Merry Christmas.” 

They hugged her hard and waited as the women followed suit.  Then all of them filed through the door and into the waiting limo. 

Closing the door and engaging the alarm, Theodora leaned against it.  Now that the brothers knew, it was only a matter of time before the twins caught on. 

* * * * *

Staying busy every minute of the day helped Theodora avoid every possible conversation when her family returned from their trip. 

She worked all day in her own kitchen and catered for the theater six days a week, simultaneously training her new assistant chef to take over.

The week of the engagement party arrived and she steeled herself to face the Johannson family.  She was nervous about seeing Kiefer again but she was particularly worried about the perceptive matriarch of their brood. Becky was a people person, highly observant, and
tuned in
.

When the boisterous group descended on the theater, they each greeted her warmly.  Kiefer smiled and pulled her into a tight hug that almost made it impossible for her to remain standing. 

The moment she had an opening, she snuck out of the theater and went home.  As much as she’d tried to prepare for seeing him again, she was ill equipped to handle the reality. 

He called her phone and then showed up at her house.  She didn’t respond to either attempt and had no idea how she was going to get through the next few days. 

* * * * *

The night of the engagement party for Isaiah and Mikayla and Ezra and Madeline was about to cause Theodora a nervous breakdown. 

As promised, she’d assisted the catering staff but hadn’t done the work herself.  The twins picked her up that morning to have her hair and nails done before they shopped for the perfect outfit. 

It was something she’d put off for months because she had no idea how big her stomach would be.  Telling them to go pick out possibilities, she took the saleswoman aside and asked for a specific cut.  The woman smiled knowingly. 

When the twins saw her in the dress, they put everything they’d picked on one of the benches and smiled happily. 

“Perfect.  It’s perfect.”  They found low kitten heels and called her done. 

They offered to take her with them and she refused.  “I truly need to spend time with my mother before I leave.  I’ll see you there.” 

“Are you sure?”  Mikayla looked like she was ready to drag her bound to her house.  “I think we should wait for you.”  Sighing, she gave them both an unblinking stare.  “Shit.  We’re doing it again.  Sorry.” 

“I’ll spend time with Mom, get dressed, and see you there.”

Despite her small victory, Isaiah still sent Xavier to the house to take her to the party.  He told her he was happy to wait until she was ready to leave and settled in a wingback chair in the foyer. 

Eventually, she couldn’t delay any longer and rushed to her apartment to dress.  To her reflection, she said, “You know, for a pregnant albino chick…you look damn good.” 

Laughing at herself, she let Xavier help with her coat and then he escorted her to the warm car. 

She wasn’t quite ready to go in so she made a detour to the bathroom when Xavier dropped her at the front of the luxury hotel. 

Checking her lipstick and smoothing her curls, she took a deep breath and told herself to be brave.  The party was in full swing when she peered through the open doorway into the large banquet room the Zelders secured to announce their future brides to the world. 

In the world they were born into, a quick marriage was simply not done. 

Isaiah and Ezra were checking off a list of antiquated societal rules so there could be no question about their love for the twins. 

Her eyes roamed the room and she squinted at the people she couldn’t see clearly.  She subconsciously searched for Kiefer. 

Then she found him. 

The minute her eyes landed on him, she wished she’d left well enough alone.  He was drunk and leaning on a table while a Megan Fox type draped her long, lithe body along his side. 

Theodora got her coat and left.

* * * * *

Kiefer was
livid
.  The little caterer acted as if he didn’t exist.  It was a new sensation for him and he didn’t like it one bit. 

Clearly, she’d gotten her fill and checked him off her bucket list.

He’d been drinking too much, he knew that.  As soon as he got back to Oklahoma, he was drying out and pulling his shit together. 

Seeing Teddy at the theater had almost dropped him.  She was somehow even more beautiful than he remembered.  He looked at the photos he took of her during their month together often. 

There was a glow about her, a confidence he hoped he’d had a small part in growing.  Feeling her arms around him was like being home and he wondered if she’d listen to everything he had to say. 

Nothing had shocked him more than finding out she’d gone home without talking to him.  He tried calling but it went straight to voicemail.  It seemed desperate to go to her house but he swallowed his pride and did it. 

He knew she was inside.  That she ignored him cut deep and bled slow.  How could she ignore him after everything they shared? 

Back at the hotel, he started drinking in the bar.  He wasn’t worried because the party was being held in the same venue.  He wouldn’t even have to
ride
drunk. 

Toasting his cleverness, he ordered another and when a gorgeous brunette took the seat beside him, he turned on the charm. 

She wasn’t very bright but he saw everything in her that his girlfriends before Teddy possessed.  His idea was childish, possibly even hurtful, but he refused to be the only one reeling from the most intense relationship of his life. 

“You should go with me,” he told the woman.  She asked where in that obnoxious breathy voice women used to make men think they were sexy or innocent or whatever it was they were doing.  “My sisters are getting married.  They’re having a huge party here in the hotel in a couple of hours.  You can be my date.” 

“Oh, I’d love to.  Let me go put on something nice.” 

“I’ll change and meet you back here.” 

Two hours later, he was dressed and drinking again when she reappeared beside him.  He’d forgotten all about her and felt annoyed with his original plan.  He was also irritated that he’d showered and dressed in far more clothing than she was wearing in an eighth of the time. 

In for a penny…

He stood and held out his arm.  She slipped her hand through it and squeezed his bicep.  “You’re so good looking.  You must work out.” 

Pressing his finger and thumb along the bridge of his nose, he sighed.  “Yeah, I work out.  I bet you do, too.”  The same lines with different women through the years were robotic. 

“I do but…I have a long way to go.  The clothes I like are unforgiving of my fat rolls.” 

Jesus help him.

“You’re not fat.  Anyone who says you are – including you – needs to see someone about body image issues.”  He’d forgotten his line.  Tiredly, he struggled to get back on track.  “I’m happy to help with any workout programs you’re thinking about…maybe we can work out together while you’re here.” 

Bingo.

“That’s so awesome of you.” 

They entered the reserved space and he realized he was actually running late.  Everyone was already eating and the dance floor was packed.  He found his name on one of the tables and sat the date in a chair. 

She talked, he drank. 

He didn’t know how much time passed when Vince approached.  He looked pissed.  “Kiefer.  Can I have a minute?” 

“Hell yeah, you know you can always count on me.” 

He maneuvered his way to his feet and followed his little brother from the party.  Taking a side exit, Vince turned and hit Kiefer in the jaw and snapped his head back. 

“Vince, what the
fuck
is wrong with you?”

“I’ll give you a list.  You were with Theodora for a month and didn’t so much as send her a thank you card.  You dare to show up at the engagement party for your
sisters
and her
cousins
with your slut du jour.”  He shoved his chest.  “I can’t imagine why that would bother anyone, asshole.”  Vince didn’t raise his voice but his tone was enraged. 

“I called today…she ignored me.  I even went by her place but she wouldn’t even open the door.  What am I supposed to do?”

“Did you ever stop to wonder what she thought about your time together?  How she felt when you left and didn’t contact her for
months
?  If there was even a tiny part of her that wondered what
someone like you
was doin’ with
someone like her
, you just proved every one of her doubts.”