Back to the Heart (21 page)

“What are you doing in New York anyway? I thought you were back in Texas.”

“That’s none of your business,” she snapped, turning around to face the counter.

Rick leaned in to whisper into her ear. “You may have won the battle, but I’ll win the war. You can expect I’ll want a paternity test when the baby is born, and if it’s mine, full custody.”

It took everything in her not to slap him. She stepped right up into his face, taking his intimidating stance and throwing it back at him.

“You can fight me for custody, but you won’t win. Don’t think I won’t bring up the defamation case during the custody battle. What decent judge would hand a baby over to a sleazeball like you?” She shoved her finger into his chest. “Listen, Rick, you’re a smart guy. We both know that. The courts will favor me. And if I was able to get a lawyer like Elias Escobar to take the defamation case, just imagine who I’ll hire for the custody battle. Cut your losses, pay me what you owe me, and get the hell out of my life.”

This was revenge. Rick was going to give her hell over custody for their child, not because he wanted it, but because he could afford to. He was going to bleed her dry for every penny she got from the defamation case, plus more. And even worse, he might win.

Ana sat in her hotel room and cried, a mix of sorrow for Brennan and fear of things to come.

The only saving grace was that it would be five more months before she gave birth, which meant she’d have plenty of time to figure things out. The courts would want her to show that she could support the child and give it a good home. That meant that as soon as she got back to Texas, she needed to start looking for a job—a full-time one. Even though she was living with her mother, she needed to show that she was at least attempting to make a life of her own.

Ana lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to calm her breathing. There was just too much falling on her at once. The love of her life could die at any moment. She still had to deal with Rick to settle the defamation case. And in a few short months, she’d have to deal with him all over again in a custody battle.

There was no point in dwelling on things in the future. What was most important was the here and now. Ana still had a little over half a week in New York, and so she decided to focus on Brennan. She pushed away her fears of being a burden and returned to the hospital, introducing herself to his family as they came to visit.

“I’m Ana, a close friend of Brennan’s,” she’d tell them. Even if Brennan died and no one knew who she was, it didn’t matter, because he knew.

Since Ana didn’t have anything better to do, she stuck around the hospital, visiting with Brennan’s family and learning all sorts of things about him. Even though he had never spoken about his real life with her, Ana felt like she was getting to know him through his family. They were tying all the loose ends together, making a map of his life, outlining what kind of man he was—every bit as wonderful as he had been on her mother’s ranch.

The week pressed on toward the time when Ana was supposed to return home, and sadness filled her, knowing that she wouldn’t be at the hospital when Brennan awoke—if he awoke. The day before her flight, she was sitting in the hospital room holding Brennan’s left hand while his mother clasped his right hand. For some reason, this seemed like a strange bonding experience between them. More often than not, when everyone else left for the day, they stayed and did this little ritual, sitting in silence.

“Ana, can I talk to you for a minute?” Matt poked his head into the room, giving his mother a smile before nodding for Ana to join him in the hallway.

“What’s up?” she asked as they stepped across the hall to a wall of windows looking out over a small courtyard.

“Listen, I know your flight leaves tomorrow, but I was wondering if you wanted to stay a few more days.” He glanced back at the room.

“I’d love to, but I can’t afford it.”

“Don’t worry about the cost. I’ll pay for your room and your flight back.”

“That’s awfully nice of you.” She hesitated.

“You practically haven’t left the hospital since you got here. I know how Brennan felt about you. He told me over the phone. And seeing you at the hospital every day from morning to night, I know you feel the same for him too, so I think you should be here. Just two more days.”

“Two more days. I think I can do that.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m sure Brennan does too. And I think Mom likes having you around. Knowing you’re sitting in there with her helps hold her together.”

“Then I’ll stay.” She placed a hand on his shoulder for comfort briefly before returning to her post, sliding her hand into Brennan’s and holding it like she’d never let it go.

The next two days went on the same as the rest. Visitors coming and going. Relatives crying. Ana fighting to hold herself together in the midst of all the sorrow.

Molly had briefly grumbled that the chores were piling up, but she’d relented. Ana felt bad, but the urgency in Matt’s voice kept her in place. Eventually, she would have to return to her normal life. She was long overdue for a doctor’s appointment, and it was past time for her to learn the gender of her baby. That would be the first thing on her agenda when she got home. A sonogram.

She was sitting in Brennan’s room with one hand on her stomach, the other entwined with his fingers, talking to his mother about the baby, when Matt walked in again. The past few days, he seemed especially on edge, his body tense, his eyes dark from nights of restless sleep.

“Ana, can I have a word with you?” He gestured to the door.

“How come you never want to talk to me?” His mother scowled.

He just stared at her, opening his mouth like he was about to speak, but then stepping outside again with Ana on his heels.

“If you’re going to ask me to stay a few more days, I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline. I need to get back and start worrying about the custody battle.” Her fingers splayed across her stomach, and the baby kicked in response.

Matt said nothing. He couldn’t even look her in the eye. He simply reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box, which he handed to her without a word.

“What’s this?” she asked, turning it over in her hands.

“Open it.”

A lump formed in Ana’s throat as she opened the box. Inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. The platinum band was encrusted with diamonds, and the stone on the front was large and also surrounded by a ring of diamonds. It had to cost more than her car, even if her car were in new condition, which it wasn’t.

“That was in Brennan’s pocket when they pulled him off the plane. I think he meant to propose to you when he got to Texas.”

Tears welled up in Ana’s eyes, threatening to spill over. Her hand was shaking so bad that she could hardly hold the box. Her eyes met Matt’s, her voice trembling just as much as the rest of her. “Why are you giving me this?”

His expression was stoic, but somewhere behind Matt’s blue eyes, he was crumbling. “Brennan isn’t going to wake up.”

“What do you mean? Of course he is.” Her gaze darted back toward the room where Brennan was lying unconscious. Every protective instinct she’d ever had kicked in at once. He couldn’t die. Not now. Not after this.

“I had to make a decision.” Matt’s voice cracked. “It’s what he wants.”

“No.” Ana shook her head. “No. You can’t. I won’t let you.”

He grabbed her by the shoulders then, pulling her back to him and giving her a gentle shake. “You can’t go back in there. They don’t know yet. I wanted to tell you first. To give you the ring, because I know that’s what he would have wanted.”

Oh God, his mother doesn’t know.
That realization killed Ana. She wanted to scream and cry and fall to her knees, but she knew she couldn’t. She had to get away.

“No,” she told Matt a final time, though she wasn’t even sure what it meant. Distraught, she headed down the hall, out of the hospital, and to the car she had rented, forcing her way inside just before the torrent of grief drowned her.

Somewhere inside the hospital, Ana knew that Brennan’s mother was doing something similar, clutching her husband’s shirt, cursing the heavens for doing this to them. No mother should ever experience the loss of their child.

Ana sat in her car for a good hour before she was able to pull herself together enough to return to Brennan’s room. Surprisingly, his parents were gone. It was just Matt sitting alone, his face in his hands with his elbows propped up on the side of Brennan’s bed.

When he heard Ana’s footsteps, he looked up. Ana’s heart broke for him then. All the strength he had been holding onto must have faded away when he gave the news to his parents. He began to sob, and she rounded the corner of the bed to wrap her arms around him.

“Why won’t he wake up?” Matt asked. “I told him we can’t do anything else. I asked him why he left this decision in my hands. I told him you were waiting for him.”

“Shh. It’s all right.” She held him, sucking back her own tears to offer support.

Matt sniffled and leaned away. She stood beside him, looking down at Brennan with a hollow pit in her chest. Her heart was beyond broken. It was gone, and she knew she’d never be the same again.

“My mother hates me,” he continued. “She doesn’t understand why it can’t wait. She’d keep Brennan on life support forever if it was up to her. But this isn’t what he wants. He always told me that if he was ever on life support, give him a week and then let him go. Doesn’t she know how hard this is on me too? He’s my brother.” Matt’s words trailed off into a hiccup.

“I know. This isn’t easy for anyone.” Ana’s eyes burned, and she knew it wasn’t over yet. Soon, she’d be looking at Brennan in a casket. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was even there with them now, or had he truly died on that plane, and this was just his body, waiting to be buried?

“Tomorrow. We’ll wait until tomorrow. You don’t have to stay. I’ve kept you here long enough.”

“I’ll stay.” It wasn’t even a question in Ana’s mind. How could she not?

“Everyone will say their good-byes, and then I’ll start planning the funeral.” Matt stood abruptly and walked out of the room. Perhaps her presence was making him nervous. Or maybe he just couldn’t sit there and look at Brennan any longer knowing what he had to do.

Ana took his seat, feeling the warmth his body left behind. It was the spot normally reserved for Brennan’s mother. So many people had sat in this chair. So many people who loved Brennan, holding his hand and talking to him.

“Baby, I need you to wake up,” she whispered. Every word that came out threatened to choke her. “Please. Please, Brennan. I’m begging you.”

He didn’t stir. The only thing that answered Ana was the beeping of the machines surrounding him.

“Matt gave me the ring. It’s a beautiful ring. I love it. But I’d trade a thousand rings just like it to get you back. I don’t even need a ring. I’d marry you without one.” She sniffled. “Please, baby, please. Give me a sign. Anything. Anything to make them not want to unplug you. You don’t even have to wake up. Just give me a sign.”

His hands were cold. He didn’t move, didn’t stir, didn’t so much as twitch. He was lifeless, only still breathing because of all the tubes running into him, forcing his organs to function. It wasn’t fair to make him stay. As much as he meant the world to her, the kindest thing was to let him go.

Her flight was in the afternoon. While Ana wanted to stay, she knew she had to go home. There would be plenty of time to mourn with her mother and sister. Her heart and mind went numb as the time approached to say her final good-byes to Brennan.

She stood solemnly with his family outside the hospital room. They would go in one at a time to make their peace with Brennan, and then they would all stand together while the hospital staff turned off the machines.

His aunts and uncles and cousins went in first. They entered the room with strong expressions but left weeping. Ana didn’t even bother trying to be strong. She stood next to Brennan’s mother, awaiting her own turn. It would be the last time she saw Brennan alive.

After his extended family went in to visit, it was Ana’s turn.