Back to Square One (Brandon Bay Babes) (11 page)

With that, Kit finally got a smile out of him and she felt an enormous sense of relief.
 
She also felt an enormous urge to kiss him engulf her and wondered if she should give in to it.
 
All signs pointed to no, really bad idea, but then her GAG reflex kicked in, and she decided to go for it.

Entwining her arms around Barnaby’s neck, she got up on tiptoe and went in unrepentant.

“Don’t Kit” he uttered pulling her arms from around his neck.
 
“I
don’t
want to kiss you” he added, plunging the dagger a little further.

Kit went red-faced and couldn’t look him in the eye.
 
“I don’t believe this” she sighed incredulously, looking at the ground.
 
How humiliating!

“
What
don’t you believe?” he asked angrily.

“I think I should go!” she replied, turning to leave the patio and the scene of yet another embarrassment.

“Wait a second” he said, grabbing her arm and spinning her to face him.
 
“What don’t you believe?
 
Did you think that after all this time; good old Barnaby would still be aching with everlasting love for you?
  
That my feelings wouldn’t have changed?
 
Yours
did, you admitted it.
 
Jeremy Atwell means nothing to you now.
 
Is it so hard to believe that you now mean
nothing
to me?”

Kit controlled herself; she wouldn’t cry, she wouldn’t cry.
 
Damn it!
 
The tears were rolling down her cheeks and she couldn’t stop them.
 
What a stupid idiot she was.
 
Damn GAG, damn Barnaby Calder; damn it all!

Wrenching her arm from his grasp, she fled through the backyard gate.
 
She certainly couldn’t run through the party in the state she was in.
 

Was this how Barnaby had felt all those years ago when she’d rejected him?
 
No. For him it had been much worse; he’d loved her and she’d stomped on his heart and told him he could never mean anything to her.
 
Karma was a bitch!
 
No, she was the bitch!

Kit got to her car in record time.
 
Barnaby didn’t come after her.
 
He’d made his feelings, or rather lack thereof, completely known.
 
Their friendship was dead; she’d mortally wounded it ten years ago at Prom.
 
She finished the job off tonight.
 
And all the remorse and guilt she felt couldn’t resuscitate it.

It was a good thing Barnaby lived in Silicon Valley, so she wouldn’t have to endure the pain and humiliation of seeing him around town.
 
After tonight’s turn of events, Kit couldn’t help but consider that perhaps her whole purpose in life was simply to serve as a warning to others.
  

Tomorrow she would go see Jasmine, hopefully for some words of wisdom, and a sympathetic, albeit pink, shoulder to cry on.
 
She’d been so happy the last few days.
 
To think it could all come crashing down so easily.

The moment Kit entered the shop the next morning Jasmine knew something had gone very wrong at the party she’d attended.
 
Her face was so puffy and her eyes so red, that Jasmine immediately dropped everything to rush to the convenience store down the street for a tub of Kit’s medicine of choice –Chunky Monkey.

After Kit got out the whole story of the Barnaby debacle, with multiple intermissions for copious amounts of ice-cream; Jasmine voiced her opinion on the whole affair.

“He’s still in love with you”

“Jas, you’re crazy” Kit replied, still sniffling from her bout of crying, but starting to buck up.

“Number one, the guy can’t keep his eyes off you; number two, he’s flitting from sweet to sour, happy to angry in moments; number three, he doesn’t want to kiss you …”

“Wait a second, why exactly does he not want to kiss me, if he’s in love with me, like you say?”

“He’s afraid of getting hurt.
 
You hurt him once; he doesn’t want his affections trifled with and get his heart broken again” Jasmine declared with an air of authority.

“What you say makes sense, I
guess
.
 
So what do I do?” Kit asked, blowing her nose for the umpteenth time.

“You do nothing”

“Nothing?”

Jasmine closed up the tub of Ben and Jerry’s and went to the back of the store and deposited it into the freezer.
 
When she came back, Kit was still waiting to hear with bated breath what she meant by “nothing”.

“Just go and paint Kit” she said at last.

“Paint?
 
What do you mean “paint”?”

“Just move on with your life.
 
If Barnaby is going to re-enter it, he will.
 
Have you learned nothing from the Jeremy incident?”

“Which one?” Kit asked densely with a smirk.

“High school Jeremy” Jasmine explained.
 
“You did everything you could to be noticed, to be loved, to be visible.
 
And in the end, it didn’t matter one iota”
      

Kit looked uncomfortable. “Thanks for reminding me.”

Jasmine grinned at her.
 
“Just go about your business and let what happens, happen.
 
Don’t wonder about, or hope, or pine for things that are beyond your control.
 
You can only control what
you
do and feel; not what
others
do and feel.”

“So you’re saying I should just let Barnaby walk out of my life without even a “sorry for trying to kiss you”?” Kit asked miserably.
 
The whole GAG theory had completely backfired, and she was now severely doubting everything she’d done up to now.

“If you see him, what will you say?” Jasmine questioned with a hand on her hip.

“Well, I’ll tell him I’m sorry I did what I did and that I really want us to be friends again.”
 
Kit replied sincerely.

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course I do” Kit said indignantly.

Jasmine let out a frustrated breath, and continued her cross-examination. “What I mean is, are you sorry you wanted to
kiss
him, and do you only want to be
friends
, or do you want
more
than that, romantically speaking?”

Kit felt a little on the spot.
 
Jasmine’s interrogation was unearthing a whole treasure trove of uncertainties with regard to her feelings.
 
“I’m not sure” she replied timidly.

“Well, then.
 
I’d say I have to side with Barnaby.
 
There’s no way in the world you should have kissed him.
 
Not if you don’t want to take it any further.
 
If I were you, I wouldn’t be going near him any time in the near future.”

“Ya think?”

“No way, Jose.
 
You either have to be able to say “Barnaby, I’m not sorry I wanted to kiss you, and I want to be more than friends” or you have to really apologize for what you’ve done and try and make amends.
 
Until you’re sure of your feelings, I think you should stay well clear of Mr. Barnaby Calder”

“Once again, you’re right Jas” Kit said in agreement, getting up off her stool and hugging her tightly. ”I don’t know what I’d do without you.
 
You’re a life-saver.”

“Eh” Jasmine shrugged.
         

Kit giggled at her modesty.
 
Trust Jasmine to tell it like it is and be able to make her feel better; if not totally ready to join the human race again.
 
She was right, of course.
 
If Barnaby was still in love with her, he’d hate her forever if she pursued him with what would be, for her, just a bit of fun.
 
And she just couldn’t do that to him.
 
She’d hurt him too much in the past.

“So are you ready for some
good
news?”
 
Jasmine said with a big smile.

“Well I could use some” Kit retorted smartly.

“Notice anything different around here since Friday?” she said cryptically.

Kit’s eyes wandered around the shop and fell on the wall that previously held her painting.
 
“Where is it?” she whispered.
 
“What have you done?”

“Now don’t get your knickers in a knot” she said opening up the till.
 
“Here!”
 
Jasmine held out an envelope for Kit.
 
“Its eight-hundred dollars” she beamed.
 
“I sold it”

“What?” Kit cried out, taking the envelope and looking at it like it may explode.

“Congratulations, you’re an artist.” Jasmine whooped. When Kit remained silent she added, “What do you think?”

Kit swallowed hard.
 
“But who bought it?
 
I mean, it’s so much money.
 
How did it happen?”

“It happened yesterday.
 
A man was walking down the street window shopping, he saw it through the window and boom, it happened”
 
Jasmine clarified.
 
“And the
best
part is…”

“It gets
better
?”

“
Yes, indeedy
.
 
The guy who bought it runs a gallery in the city.
 
Apparently he’s always looking for new talent.
 
He said when he saw it, he had to have it.
 
Not for the gallery, mind you, but for his personal collection.
 
He left his card in the envelope, and he’d like you to give him a call so you can maybe meet up sometime”

“I need to sit down”
 
Kit said shakily.
 
Jasmine hurriedly got a stool and put it under her.
 
“Thanks” she murmured, practically falling onto the seat.

“Isn’t it exciting?” Jasmine clapped.

“I don’t believe it.
 
Things like this just don’t happen.”
 
Kit started to giggle.
 
“I’m an artist; a real, somebody-bought-my-painting, artist.
 
I don’t know how or why it happened, but it happened.”
 
Kit stared off into the distance, completely overwhelmed.

Jasmine broke the silence.
 
“So what now?”

Something clicked in Kit’s head and she came out of her stupor and looked back at Jasmine with a determined face.
 
“Well, I’ll tell you one thing.
 
I’m not going back to the city and sit in some cubicle for the rest of my life; date guys like big-eared Bob, and get stuck in elevators with guys who are out my league.
 
I’m going to move back here to Brandon Bay, permanently.
 
And then you know what I’m going to do?”