Authors: Kathryn Shay
Tags: #American Light Romantic Fiction, #Romance: Modern, #Contemporary, #General, #Romance, #Romance - Contemporary, #Fiction, #Fiction - Romance, #Man-woman relationships, #Love stories, #Suspense, #Forgiveness
When Luke deigned to look at her, he swore. “Don’t you have enough sense to use sunscreen? Your nose is burning.”
“I didn’t know I’d be exposed this long.”
“Go on down and put some on.”
She glanced at her watch. “It’s almost lunchtime. Let’s finish this section and then stop for a while.”
Something hit her in the chest.
“What?” She saw Luke’s ball cap had landed on her. “I don’t want to wear your hat.”
“You didn’t seem to mind wearing one of mine on Sunday.” She could practically see anger bubbling inside him as she tossed the hat back and he jerked it on. “And no matter what you say, you didn’t mind a lot of things that morning.”
“Shut up.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said shut up. I don’t want to talk about this.”
He swore under his breath and, with the force of an anvil hitting steel, hammered another nail. When she went to give him more, he grabbed her fingers. Nails fell, pinging on the wood, and slid off the roof. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember what it was like to have my hands on you again.” He nodded to her breasts. “All over you. You wanted it, babe.”
“I never said I didn’t want it.”
“Oh, wait, I forgot. You said you didn’t believe it was real. How in the holy hell could you think I faked that response to you? Especially after what we shared in New York?”
“You said it was because I didn’t have any confidence in myself as a woman.” Her tone came off hurt instead of nasty, like she meant it.
He stopped nailing and sat back on his haunches. “I was mad.”
“Maybe you were right.”
His brow furrowed and she noticed lines of fatigue around his eyes and mouth. “About what?”
“I don’t have much confidence in myself as a woman.”
“You were getting over that, Jayne, with me.”
“I thought so. But when I left you, any progress I made dissipated.”
“That’s just plain nuts.”
When she didn’t say more, he turned and sat down on the section of the roof he’d finished, then slid closer to her. From his tool belt he took out a bottle of water, sipped from the thing and handed it to her. She took a swig without realizing the intimacy of the gesture until she gave it back to him.
“Honey, please.” He grasped her hand. “Believe that I was sincere in that shed.”
“I’d like—”
“Hey, Jayne!” The call came from the ground, irritating her. Suddenly she wanted to have this conversation with Luke. She wanted to examine her feelings and motives, along with his. But one of the women carpenters was standing below, peering up at them and shading her eyes with her hands.
“What, Carla?” Jayne yelled down.
“There’s somebody here for you.” She chuckled. “He looks like Jude Law.”
Oh, dear Lord.
Luke said, “Who’s…Jayne, are you all right?”
Open mouthed, her heart beating like a drum, she shook her head as she watched a man come toward the house.
His stride was still the same…long and graceful, like a runner’s.
His tan lightweight suit stretched across shoulders that had once been safe and comforting.
His hair was still thick and run-your-fingers-through-it appealing.
All these details told her one thing.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asked. “You’re trembling.”
She swallowed hard and stared down at the ground.
“Who’s that?”
“B-Ben Scarborough.”
“The Ben from college? The one who turned on you and Jess?”
“Yes.” She glanced over at Luke and saw the surprise on his face. “The one who made me lose that confidence we were just talking about.”
H
E FELT LIKE
a teenager following his girl around, but nonetheless, when Jayne climbed down the ladder and
the asshole who’d betrayed her had the gall to envelop her in a warm hug, Luke seemed to turn into a juvenile. He hustled down the rungs, too, and stood behind her when he reached the ground.
“Ben?” she asked, “What are you
doing
here?”
“I’m looking for you.” The guy’s tone was as smooth as the silk tie he wore. “I went to Jess’s house and Eleanor told me you were working here, but Jess was out of town.”
“I…why?”
Scarborough glanced behind her. “Hi, I’m Ben Scarborough.”
Stepping to Jayne’s side, Luke moved in close. “Got a lot of nerve showing up here, don’t you, Scarborough?”
The guy recoiled.
“This is Luke Corelli—Jess’s best friend.”
At least the man had the grace to flush. “Oh, well then, his…attitude makes sense.”
“You didn’t answer the lady’s question.”
Now annoyance showed in his
Jude Law
baby blues. Hell, why couldn’t the guy look like Woody Allen? “Is there somewhere we can talk, Jayne?”
“You’re kidding, right? I don’t want to talk to you. How could you even think I would?”
With a quick glance at Luke, he said, “I thought maybe you’d remember what we had together and hear me out.”
“You betrayed me and I’ve never forgotten that, Ben. Never.”
Good for her,
Luke thought.
“There are some things you don’t know. Some things I never told you. Just give me a chance to say them aloud, then if you want me to, I’ll leave.” He held up a
bag Luke hadn’t noticed he was holding. “I brought your favorite raisin bagels and strawberry cream cheese.”
“I haven’t had those in ages.”
Jeez, was she buying this crap?
Time for some intervention. “Get out of here, Scarborough. She said she doesn’t want to see you.”
Scarborough gave her a pleading look.
“Oh, all right. There’s a picnic table in some trees out there.” She glanced over at Luke. He wished she was angry or bitter, but instead she looked scared.
Which was why, when she and Ben headed to the rear of the lot, Luke grabbed some coffee and stood by a tree a discreet distance away to watch what was going on. For about ten minutes, Jayne looked like she was giving Scarborough hell and he was doing his best to grovel. But when Jayne went all soft and feminine on him, Luke threw away the cup and charged to the other side of the trees behind the picnic table, where he was hidden from their view but could hear their conversation.
Scarborough was talking. “I’ve never forgiven myself for what I did to you and Jess in college. I tried to forget it and go on with my life. I got married, had two kids, then divorced, but everything seemed tainted. I need your forgiveness, I guess.”
“All right. You have it. You can go now.”
Some rustling. Probably getting out her
favorite
bagel.
“Here, have one of these. There’s more I want to say. Let me explain the other reason I came here.”
“All right, explain.”
“News of the collapse made it through the architectural grapevine. I was shocked and concerned. So I
followed up with some connections I have, and when I found out the cause—that you were at fault—I thought I might be able to do something. So I came here.”
“How did you know I’d be in Riverdale, anyway?”
“I called your father. He told me where you went.”
“Why would he do that? He hated you after you blamed me and Jess for cheating.”
“It’s a long story. I’d rather not talk about it here, J.J.” J.J.? What the hell?
“Don’t call me that.”
“It’s how I think of you—that unbelievably smart but shy girl in college.”
“I’m not that girl anymore, Ben.”
“No, you’re a beautiful woman.” His voice pitched lower, sexy and lover like.
Huh! Luke knew how to do that, too.
“Stop it!”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that being with you, this close to you, brings something different out in me.”
Join the club, buddy.
“Did you come to gloat?”
Luke could picture Jayne staring at Scarborough, waiting until he answered her question.
“No, of course not. I’m guessing you need friends right now. I’m here to make amends with Jess, too. I thought I might do that by helping you.”
“Even if I’d let you, what could you possibly do, Ben?”
“I have a firm in Manhattan. Scarborough Associates. I’m the head architect. It’s very successful.”
The guy was so modest.
“I want you to come to New York and work with me.”
“What?”
“I’m offering you a job.”
“I don’t know if I’ll get to keep my architecture license.”
“Then we’ll find something else for you to do. It’s a huge firm. You can have your pick of projects to consult on.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
Hell, she couldn’t be considering this, could she?
Then Luke remembered the things Jess had told him about the two of them: Jayne had never had a serious boyfriend before Ben. She fell head over heels for the guy. They were talking about getting married. And just now, she’d confessed the power Scarborough had over her by depriving her of her confidence as a woman.
“This is too much to take in,” Jayne was saying.
“I know. I’m staying a few days so we can talk it through.”
I’ll just bet you are.
“Have dinner with me tonight. I’m checked in at the Baron Steuben. They’ve got a good dining room.”
And hotel rooms, where Luke knew Scarborough would try to lure
J.J.
Over Luke’s dead body.
Tossing the cup aside, Luke noisily circled the trees and made his presence known.
“Luke?” Jayne regarded him suspiciously. “What are you doing…?” She glanced at the direction he’d come from. “Were you eavesdropping on us?”
He pushed back the bill of his ball cap and put his hands on his hips. “Yeah, I was. And a good thing, too. You’re really buying this crap, aren’t you?”
“W
HAT WERE YOU
thinking?” Jayne had walked Ben to his car and then made a beeline back to Luke.
People were staring at them, but they were out of earshot.
“Damn it, Luke.”
“I was watching out for you.” He was wearing his T-shirt now, and had ditched the tool belt. “Jess is out of town, so somebody’s got to do it.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“Oh, yeah, you were doing a great job of it,
J.J.
” He scowled. “What the hell does that stand for, anyway?”
“Jayne Jordan, my mother’s maiden name.” She blew out a breath, rustling the damp bangs on her forehead. “Luke, you’re avoiding my question. Why would you interfere like this?”
“Because I have a right.”
“A
right?
”
“Yeah.” He glanced behind her and must have seen they’d gathered an audience. “Hell.” Taking her by the arm, he practically dragged her into the trailer and slammed the door.
“Stop manhandling me!” She shook him off and rounded on him. “You have
no
rights with me. Why would you think you do?”
His eyes narrowed; he moved in fast and yanked on the neckline of the shirt she wore. “This gives me the right.”
Jayne looked down. The swell of her breasts still bore evidence of his ardor and suddenly her mind was propelled back into the shed when Luke had his mouth on her, nipping and soothing.
She jerked away. “No, I won’t let you do this. Not again. You have no claim to me, and if I choose to forgive Ben—hell, if I choose to sleep with him—it’s my decision.”
“You’d
sleep
with him?”
Why couldn’t he have lashed out in anger again? Instead, the words, uttered with gentle horror, made her take in a sharp breath.
Dear God, had he really been involved in the shed? Had he really meant what he said?
H
UMILIATED BEYOND BELIEF
, Luke yanked up the covers on Elise’s bed, wishing he could crawl under them instead.
“I…I’m sorry. I don’t know why…”
He let the words trail off because he did indeed know why he couldn’t make love with Elise, and he hated lying to her face.
“It’s all right, Luke. This happens.”
For a moment, he stared at the incredibly beautiful woman next to him, wrapped in sheets that matched her blue eyes. “Not to me.”
Her smile was comforting. “There’s always a first time.”
“So they say.” He whipped back the covers and dragged on his boxers. “I’m going to get a drink. Want something?”
“A glass of red wine would be nice.” She grabbed his hand as he passed her and kissed it. “Luke, honestly, no big deal.”
Feeling like a complete hypocrite, he took his time finding his way through the condo. It was a pretty little thing, a lot like Elise herself. He was mad as hell that he’d been unable to perform and felt like a total jerk for putting Elise in this awkward position.
Unfortunately, he knew what the problem was.
The liquor cabinet sat against a wall, a few feet away from the set of tapestry couches. Drawing out the Johnny Walker, he poured a hefty amount, crossed to the window and looked out at the wooded yard. He wasn’t ready to go back upstairs yet. And he knew Elise would give him time. She was a nice person as well as a knockout.
But, Luke admitted in the dim light of the night, he didn’t want her, as evidenced by his lack of performance. Nope, he wanted Jayne Logan with a passion that shocked him. And he’d been foolish and selfish to call Elise in the first place, to hope she could make him forget all about the woman who was driving him absolutely crazy. Damn it, when had he become so self-centered?
Gimme a break,
Timmy had said once when he’d asked his friend that question.
You’ve always been like this. You had five mothers and were the center of attention all your life. I hate you for it, buddy.
Then Timmy had socked him in the arm, taking the sting out of his words with his next statement.
But you’ve got a good heart and you’d give anybody the shirt off your back.
Timmy’s observation had been right on target. But Luke had thought, with his friend’s death, he’d changed. Images of that time crept into his mind, images he had to forcefully keep at bay. It was hard. As always, when he was upset, Luke would return to that dark place. “Don’t do it,” he ordered himself.
The lesser of two evils was to think about Jayne. Jayne, who right now was doing what? He glanced at his watch. Dinner at the Baron Steuben would be over by now. Had they gone back to Scarborough’s room?
I’ll sleep with him if I want.
She’d said those words to him, so he wasn’t imagining things. She could very well be in the guy’s bed
right now, letting him give her back some of that confidence he stole from her when she was barely out of her teens. And why the hell shouldn’t she? She owed Luke nothing, contrary to what he’d told her earlier. After all, it had been twelve freaking years since they’d been together, and he’d never tried to contact her.
But, damn it all, he knew he’d gone a long way in restoring her confidence when they were together in New York, and he should be the one to bring it to fruition now. Belle had told him once there was nothing like knowing you pleased a man in bed. Luke wanted to bathe Jayne in sensual experience after sensual experience, so she’d never doubt herself again.
Oh, sure!
he thought glancing down at his groin.
Now you come to attention. With only
thoughts
of Jayne.
“Where were you earlier, boy?”
One thing was clear. Luke wasn’t being fair to Elise. Waiting a bit for his body to calm down, he poured Elise her favorite Shiraz and headed upstairs.
She was still in bed, staring out the window at the moon. The faint trace of her perfume and lotions hung in the air. “You okay?” she asked when he entered the room and she accepted the wine from him.
Dropping down on her side of the mattress, he faced her—and the issue—squarely. “We have to talk.”
“Uh-oh. Nothing good ever follows those words.”
“This will be good for you.”
She arched a brow.
“I don’t think we should see each other for a while.”
“Luke, if it’s about this—” she patted the bed “—I understand.”
“It is about that, in a way.”
“What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t do anything with you tonight because I’ve been—” he wanted to be delicate “—caught up in things with someone else. Another woman.”
“Ah.” She sipped the Shiraz, looked at him pointedly. “Jayne Logan.”
He frowned. “How would you know that?”
“Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much.”
“At the party?”
“And other times. You don’t realize how much you talk about her, in negative terms, but still she seems to have gotten…inside you.” She added, “Rather quickly.”
“I used to know her in New York.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it didn’t work out. It won’t this time, either.”
She waited a beat. “Maybe you should try again.”
“You’re being pretty understanding.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I was looking forward to where this was going between us. But I don’t want you, Luke, if you want someone else. Truthfully, I’ve been down that road once and don’t intend to travel it again.” She traced her finger around the rim of the wineglass. “However, if you decide that your feelings for her weren’t what you thought, that you’re over her, and I’m still free, maybe we can try again.”
She was letting him off the hook, which he didn’t deserve, and he sighed as he stared at her. Why couldn’t he have fallen for this understanding, generous woman instead of a prickly, stubborn, withholding one like Jayne—who right now might be making love to another man?
J
AYNE SAT
in a booth at the bar of the Baron Steuben sipping her second glass of wine that night, listening to
a musician play the piano in the corner and staring at a man she’d once adored. As an adult, he was even more attractive than he’d been as a boy with that perfectly cut hair, those powerful masculine hands and blue eyes she used to get lost in.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“How handsome you are.”
He seemed startled. “Thanks. And I return the compliment.” He nodded to the dress she’d worn to Eleanor’s party. “You’re lovely tonight.”
You’d better fix that thing,
Luke had said when the bodice had slipped after she’d fallen off the chair. His eyes had been hot.
Go away,
she thought for the hundredth time that night.
“Jayne, I didn’t want to ruin dinner, but I was hoping if I told you more about what happened in college, it might make your decision to let me help you easier.”
Her heart started to beat fast. “It’s still painful for me to talk about that time in my life.”
“I’m sure it is. But there are some things you don’t know.”
Cocking her head, she sensed something important was coming. “I thought we shared everything back then.”
“Not this.” He sipped his wine and glanced away. “My dad lost his job right before our junior year because he was drinking.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid to. You came from a successful family. I didn’t want you to know you were paired up with the son of a drunk.”
“I wouldn’t have judged you.”
“Maybe not, but your father would have. He had me investigated.”
She gripped the stem of her glass.
“What?”
“After I met him, he hired a private detective to find out about me and my family. Some people in my hometown told me they’d been contacted.”
Now that she thought about it, Jayne recalled taking Ben to New York, and how her father had grilled him about his background. When he realized they were serious, he must have hired a private investigator to find out more about Ben.
“Damn him. My father had no right.”
“He was protecting his daughter.” A sad smile crossed Ben’s lips. “Now that I have two of my own, I understand that. In any case, I had nothing to hide then. My father’s drinking escalated fast. Before I knew it, he was in A.A. and unemployed.”
Concern was replaced by pique. “You should have told me this, Ben. I would have stood by you, helped you through it.”
“I was afraid I’d lose you.”
“Instead, you betrayed me?”
Briefly, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I was on a scholarship. If I’d admitted we cut corners in our research, Sally and I would have gotten the F and I would have lost my chance to finish college.”
She’d known about the scholarship, of course, but had never put that particular spin on things. It didn’t, however, excuse what they’d done.
“After we lied and you and Jess got blamed, I decided I couldn’t go through with the deception and headed back to the house to confess everything. But before I got there, my mother called and asked me to
come home. Dad had gotten a DWI and all hell had broken loose.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Afterward, I chickened out again.”
“How does Sally fit into all this?”
“She was scared, too. You know she was never as strong as you and Jess. Neither was I, for that matter. But none of this excuses us. What we did was unconscionable. I can’t tell you how happy I was when you and Jess were exonerated.”
“Cornell asked me to come back as a guest lecturer.” And she’d taken pleasure in gloating to the very professors who hadn’t recommended her to a top firm in the field.
What would they be thinking now?
“Jayne?”
“I’m glad you told me. It puts everything in perspective.”
Reaching across the table, he took her hand. The connection felt familiar and strange at the same time. “For what it’s worth, I missed you like I’d miss my right arm. I watched you from afar—getting out of the mess I created, graduating summa cum laude. Starting your firm.”
“What about your wife and family?”
“Sara never knew what I did in college. Though I’m not sure I was a very good husband. She divorced me because I worked too much and neglected her. What a cliché.”
“I’m sorry for you, Ben.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. But I admire you for coming here to explain, and I appreciate it.” She did. Her heart felt lighter.
“I want to tell this all to Jess, too.”
“That would be good. He gets home tomorrow.”
Ben gave her the tender smile she remembered from college when they
made up
after a fight. “Thanks for listening, J.J. So, what do you say? Want to leave Riverdale now and work for me?”
“Even before I receive the final decision about my license?”
“Yes. I told you, there are plenty of jobs for you to do.” That smile broadened. “And maybe we can see if there’s still something between us.”
Jayne sat back in the chair. This was a great offer professionally. She wasn’t likely to get many, even if she did retain her license. Staring over at the man she’d once loved, she realized with remarkable clarity that she
had
been woman enough for him. And, now, maybe they could go back to what they’d once had together.
If that was what she really wanted.
Was it?
L
UKE PROWLED
around his house imagining all sorts of scenarios for what was going on between Jayne and Ben. At least he was able to keep himself from barging over to the Baron Steuben and dragging Jayne out by the hair. That would have gone over really big!
Instead, since he’d arrived home from Elise’s two hours ago, he’d fixed a leaky pipe, torn up the carpet in the den where he was planning to install hardwood floors and watered the damn plants his sisters insisted he keep around.
He’d taken a scalding shower and dressed in navy Gap pajama bottoms, and still wasn’t tired. The doorbell rang while he was watching an old Western in bed. He was glad for the distraction until he checked the bedside clock and saw it was midnight. A visitor this late was
not good news. Fear that something had happened to someone in his family made his heart race as he pounded downstairs and whipped open the door.
He was so relieved—and stunned—to find Jayne on his porch he could barely breathe. Finally he was able to utter, “This is a surprise.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah. You had a date tonight.”
“I did.”
He scowled when he noticed what she was wearing. “Dressed up for him, huh?”
“Well, you know how fragile my feminine ego is.”
He couldn’t decipher her mood, so he waited.
“Can I come in?”
“I guess.” He stepped aside and she walked into the foyer. As she passed him, she scraped her nails over his bare chest. “Aren’t you cold?”
“You gotta be kidding me.”
A Mata Hari smile crossed her lips. What was she up to?
Instead of telling him, she said, “Nice house.”
“It’s getting there.”
“I wouldn’t have figured you for a fixer-upper. Your place in New York was sleek and modern.”
“How’d you know where to find me?”
“Jess drove by here once to show me. I love the exterior. It’s a good…skin for the house.”
That was exactly what he’d thought.
“He said you redid the siding when you bought it.”
“I did.” Why the hell was she talking about his house?
She sashayed to the entrance of the living room and he caught sight of the same sexy sandals she’d worn the
night of the party. Ones that made her legs look long and luscious. “Oh, that fireplace. It has to be original.”
Despite his confusion, and distraction, he smiled at the fieldstone that he’d cleaned and polished a hundred times until it shone. He watched her stroll around the area, run her hand over the chocolate leather couches and study his prints on the wall. “I like this room.”