Back Road Chances (Roughneck #2) (7 page)

It was almost midnight; Sam would be leaving tomorrow, or technically today. We were in bed, naked and exhausted. But I knew it was time to tell her. I had been holding on to this secret for too long. She needed to know. I just hoped it didn’t ruin everything and she didn’t run. Fuck, what if she ran? What if this ruined us? It wouldn’t. I knew she cared about me and wanted us to work. And if she couldn’t handle this, it was a chance I had to take. I loved this woman and I couldn’t wait any longer to tell her the truth. Here goes nothing. I scooted out of bed and walked over to my bag and grabbed the last white rose out of it. I had left one this morning on the bed so Sam would find it when she woke up. When she saw me pull it out of my bag, her smile brightened the whole fucking room.

“I already got one today,” she said, and held her hand out to take it from me. I took a deep breath and lay down beside her again.

“It’s almost midnight, close enough. And this is the last one,” I said, and then paused. Sam looked at me, she seemed confused.

“Well not forever, because if you want flowers, I’ll buy you fucking flowers every day of your life. But the single rose every day, today is the last day for that.”

“I’m not following, Moon,” she said, as she stared into my eyes. It always seemed like she was waiting for bad news. She always seemed to be bracing herself for the worst.

“There’s a reason behind the number of roses,” I said.

“17,” Sam said immediately.

“You’ve been counting them?” I asked a little surprised.

“Of course, I was waiting for them to stop.” That made me a little sad. I hated the way she always thought the good things were going to disappear.

“Yeah, 17,” I said, and then took another deep breath, here we go. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Maybe if I held on tight enough, she wouldn’t dart out of this bed and out the door. She was staring at me intently, waiting.

“That’s when it started.”

“When what started?” Sam asked quietly.

“That’s when I realized I loved you. I know we were just kids, and I did a lot of stupid shit back then. But it’s always been you, Sam. I’ve always wanted you. And maybe back then it started as a high school crush and I just wanted to tap that ass,” I said, and couldn’t help but smile as I smacked her ass lightly. “But then it was more.”

Sam didn’t respond. She just stared at me with those big blue eyes. I don’t think she had even blinked. I couldn’t read her, not this time. But I kept talking anyway.

“I love you, Sam. And I know you’re scared. I don’t know if you’re scared of getting hurt or what it is. But I promise you darlin, I won’t hurt you. I love you. I’ve always loved you and I’ll never stop. Ever,” I said, as I put my forehead against hers and then leaned in and kissed her lips gently, waiting.

I had just told this woman that I loved her four times in practically the same breath. She was the only woman I had ever said that to. Because she was it for me. She was the only one. And she still hadn’t said a word. Not a single word. Maybe I was the one about to run. That’s some scary shit, telling the woman you’ve been in love with since you were a kid how you feel. And then all you hear is the fucking crickets. Damn. I felt like a knife was just stabbed in my chest. And even though I kind of felt like an idiot now, I didn’t regret it. I should have prepared myself for the silence. But I didn’t.

“Well damn,” I said, as I lay on my back and propped my hands behind my head.

Sam still hadn’t said a word or even moved. I cut my eyes over in her direction. She was still staring blankly. Maybe I was getting a little pissed now. The least she could do was give me a thank you or a nod, something.

“I love you, Sam.” Five. “But you make me fucking crazy sometimes, you know that?” I said a little harsher than I intended. But it was true. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I needed air. So I sat up and started to get off the bed. Sam grabbed me by the arm and didn’t let go.

“Wait,” she said quietly.

I exhaled the breath that felt like it had been stuck in my chest. And I waited.  Sam moved her hand and then I felt the bed shift as she moved closer. I was sitting on the edge of the bed when Sam came around and sat on my lap. She was still naked. Her hair was a mess and she didn’t have a bit of make up on. She took my fucking breath away.

“You love me?” she said quietly, as she ran her nails through my hair.

“Always,” I said, as I stared into her eyes. I didn’t know what else to say.

“Since we were kids?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said quietly. She wrapped her arms around my neck and put her mouth up to my ear.

“I love you, too,” she whispered. It was so quiet. So full of emotion, like it took everything in her to say those four words.

“Fucking finally,” I said, and kissed her.

Chapter 9

Sam

He loves me. Me. He’s loved me since high school. That was hard to wrap my head around. I never had a clue. Looks like I wasn’t the only one with a good poker face. I felt a sense of peace wash over me. He loved me. Maybe I could quit worrying so fucking much about him leaving me. He promised. And I believed him. Besides, the only other two people in my life that ever told me they loved me were still around. My dad and Lainey. I wasn’t even sure the bitch ever told me. I didn’t have any memory of it if she did. I was never very affectionate with my extended family, so the word love never really came up. I’m sure they loved me, because I loved them, we just never said it.  And I sure wasn’t expecting Moon to say it. It shocked me when he said it. Literally, I think I went into shock for a minute. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. And leaving the roses for me every day, until there were seventeen. Who knew that mother fucker had a romantic side? I did, I think. He’s loved me since we were seventeen. My head was clouded with mush. Mushy romantic feelings. What. The. Fuck.

The sound of my phone ringing broke me from my thoughts.

“Hey, momma!” I said with a smile when I answered.

“Are you on your way home?” Lainey asked.

“Yeah, I’m almost there. You on break?” I asked.

“Yeah, I just wanted to check on you.”

“Want me to come over tonight?” I asked.

“Uh, Yeah! I’ve got a whole guilt trip lined out since you left me alone all weekend. By myself. Alone” she said with a giggle.

“Ok. I’ll take it,” I said.

“He told me he loved me,” I blurted out.

“Shut up!!” Lainey squealed.

“I know!” I said through a smile.

“Wait!” Lainey said seriously. “What did you do?”

Apparently I paused just a second too long.

“Sam! Please tell me you didn’t take off! I’m gonna kick your ass if you’re not being honest with him!”

“Chill out, damn, hormones.” I laughed.

“Sorry, they are a little out of control,” she said.

“I said it back,” I said quietly.

“Sam, I’m so proud of you!” Lainey said, and I’m pretty sure I heard her clapping.

“I gotta get back to work though; Dr. Weston has walked by the break room twice,” Lainey whispered.

“Ok, I’ll see ya tonight.”

“Be careful. Love you!”

“Love you too, Lainey boo boo” I said, and then ended the call.

Once I grabbed Patch from the kennel, I decided to head to Lainey’s early. I was just sitting on her porch swing when she pulled up after work.

“Fancy seeing you here,” she said with a laugh when she got out of her car.

“I missed my bitch,” I told her, as I gave her a hug.

“Aw… I missed you too. But you’re the one who left me alone and went to see your man. Jase was a little pissy about the grin on Moon’s face all weekend, though,” Lainey said with a laugh.

Jase and Moon were both drillers and relieved each other after tour. They only saw each other for a few minutes each day. But they were close and that made me happy. I was glad Moon had a friend there, not just his hands.

“Well I definitely gave him a lot to smile about,” I said with a devious grin, as we walked into the house.

“I’m sure you did, ya dirty slut.”

We sat on the sofa and Lainey kicked her shoes off.

“So! Spill it! How did you react when he finally said he loved you? And it’s about damn time, by the way.”

“Well….I think I was in shock at first. I said stared at him like a fucking idiot.”

Lainey started to giggle but didn’t say anything.

“And then he got kinda pissed because I didn’t say anything back.”

“But then you did?”

“Yeah I did. I love him, Lainey; I just don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Why can’t I be more like you?” I said.

“Huh?” Lainey asked with her mouth hanging open.

“I’m serious. You fell in love with Jase and didn’t hesitate. You weren’t scared at all.”

“No, I was scared. Maybe just because it happened so fast and I couldn’t fight it. But I knew from watching my parents that real love existed, and I knew I had it with Jase.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re scared, because of your parents,” Lainey said after a pause.

“Because the bitch took off.” I said, as I shook my head.

“I mean, our past shapes who we are, good or bad.”

“You’re right,” I said.

“It sucks sometimes, but it is what it is,” Lainey said, and exhaled as she laid her head back on the couch.

“I don’t think Moon will leave me. He told me he’s loved me since we were seventeen.”

“Shut up! Are you serious?” Lainey said with a huge grin on her face.

“That’s what he said. I think that’s why I was so shocked; he said he’s loved me all these years and never stopped.”

Lainey’s eyes welled up with tears and her chin started to tremble. I know my eyes got big when I looked at her.

“Sorry, I’m a little emotional these days,” she said, as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

“Ya think?” I said, and patted her back.

“I’m just glad y’all are getting your shit together,” Lainey said with a giggle, but tears were still falling from her eyes. Damn, this pregnancy shit was no joke.

“Ok, you’re fucking freaking me out a little. Do you need to eat or something?” I said.

“Yes.” Lainey said. “Food makes everything better these days.”

“Well, let’s get that shit started,” I said, as I stood up and grabbed Lainey’s hand then pulled her towards the kitchen.

The week had finally gone by and Moon would be coming home tomorrow. I was trying to stay busy with work and spent a lot of time shopping for baby stuff with Lainey. But I was so ready for Moon to get back in town. It’s like he knew I was thinking about him, because my phone rang and it was him.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hey darlin,” Moon said with that sweet country twang of his. Damn, I missed him. But there was something else in his voice, I sensed it immediately.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, but hoping I was just being paranoid.

He let out a loud exhale but didn’t say anything.

“Moon,” I said.

“I’ve got bad news.”

“What is it?” My stomach was in knots.

“The dumb fuck on the other side got popped with a drug test and the idiot failed it. So I’m stuck here until they can find someone else. But I don’t think they’re trying too hard so it looks like I’ll be here awhile.”

“How long?” I asked quietly.

“Pusher said expect a month, his hitch and then my normal one. Sorry darlin.”

“It’s not your fault, but this fucking sucks,” I said, trying to hold back tears. Fucking tears. Seriously.

“I know,” he said, his voice full of disappointment.

“Jase won’t split it with you?” I knew it sounded selfish, but I had to ask.

“He said he would if Lainey wasn’t pregnant. I can’t blame him I guess.” Moon said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I miss you,” Moon said, and I couldn’t fight the tears back anymore. I can’t believe I was being such a fucking tit bag.

“Me too.” I whispered through the lump in my throat.

“I’m sorry.” Moon said quietly.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” I fucking hated the oilfield right now.

“Sam?” Moon said.

“Yeah?” I said after I cleared my throat.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I said, but it was so quiet, I don’t even know if he heard me.

“I gotta go, ok?” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“I’ll call you back in a little bit.” I said. I had to hang up. I was about to lose it.

“Ok, darlin.” He said, and I ended the call abruptly.

Chapter 10

Moon

This. Fucking. Sucked.

I was pissed and sad which was a fucked up combination. I wasn’t going to see her for a month. A whole fucking month. And I knew she was upset which made it so much worse. I hated how hurt she sounded. She almost sounded like she was crying, but I wasn’t sure. And she hung up so quickly, I think she was trying to hide it.

“Son of a bitch!” I mumbled, as I threw my hard hat across the room. We were finally getting somewhere. And now I was going to be without her for a fucking month.

But I knew I couldn’t be a puss about this. I had to fucking suck it up. This was my job. I knew this shit happened. This wasn’t even the first time, but this would definitely be the hardest.

Once I grabbed my hard hat off the floor, I made my way to the doghouse, all while trying to change my pissy attitude. When I walked in Jase was finishing his books and about to head out.

“Hey dude!” He said, as he was gathering his stuff.

“Hey.” I said, trying not to sound like a whine bag.

“Hey man, I feel bad for not splitting this hitch with you, but I just can’t leave Lainey by herself more than I have to.”

“Aw, it’s fine man,” I said, trying to mean it. “I don’t blame ya.” That part was true.

“Alright then, I’m heading out. Just a heads up though, I heard Pusher telling that new Safety Rep he was taking you to the shit hole tonight for sticking around.” Jase said with a laugh before he walked out the door.

“Thanks for warning me,” I said. Now I got to look forward to sitting at a bar with a boss I didn’t like. Oh well, at least he was buying me beer. Plus I’m sure the other guys would tag along. I didn’t know them very well, but I did know if you even mention a bar to these fuckers, they made sure they were going. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket to shut it off before I sat down and noticed I had a text from Sam. It was a picture message and my dick twitched before I even opened it. She was lying on her bed, completely naked; with those fuck me eyes staring at me. Then another text came through.

Sam: Don’t forget about me

Me: Not even possible.

Sam: I know ur about to turn ur phone off, just wanted to make sure you were thinking about m
e


Me: I’m always thinking about you beautiful. Especially now that my dick is hard.

Sam: Maybe we can fix that tonight.

Me: Hell yeah. I love you Sam

Sam: Me too

I turned my phone off and tried my best to concentrate on work. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve been doing this shit long enough to know I have to turn the outside world off when I’m here, otherwise you fuck shit up. And that’s not something I was prepared to deal with.

Jase was right about Pusher taking me to the bar. I had been around him off the rig before, and he usually left his attitude there and I was hoping that was the case tonight. I just wanted to have a few beers and relax before I had to start this shit over again tomorrow. All the hands that were already in town met us at the bar. It was a Tuesday night, so other than a few local drunks, we were the only ones there. My phone rang as I was walking to the bathroom to take a piss. It was her.

“Hey darlin,” I said, as I walked into the nasty ass bathroom.

“Hey, whatcha doin?” She asked.

“Pusher wanted to thank me for staying over so he’s buying me beer at the shit hole.”

“Any rig rats there?” Sam asked with a laugh, but I knew she wasn’t kidding.

“Just a bunch of hands baby. Besides, you’re the only woman I see.” I said.

“Good answer,” she said with a real laugh this time.

“I miss you,” I said. I knew I told her that all the fucking time. But I didn’t care, because it was the truth. I just hoped she didn’t get tired of hearing it.

“I miss you, too,” she said. “But I’ll let you get back to it. Call me later, ok?”

“Alright.” I said.

I wanted to tell her I loved her, but I didn’t. I knew it was hard for her to say it. I didn’t want to make her feel obligated to tell me. I didn’t want to push her away when things were going so good.  So I hung up the phone and shoved it back in my pocket.

When I walked back to the bar, I noticed John, my pusher, staring down at his hands. I realized he had a wedding ring on. I had a little bit of liquid courage running through me so I asked about it.

“Looks like you got a woman at home, what the hell are you still doing here, man?” I asked.

He twisted his ring around his finger with his other hand a few times before he spoke.

“I don’t think she wants me there.” Ouch. “She wants a divorce.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that man,” I said, feeling uncomfortable now.

“I think there’s someone else; she just hasn’t said it yet. She said our kids are grown now, there’s no reason to be together anymore,” he said looking sad. Damn, no wonder the dude was a prick at work; he was going through some shit. But I didn’t know what the hell to say, so I just took a long swig of my beer. I didn’t really enjoy heart-to-hearts with other dudes. Not at all. Fuck. How was I going to get out of this? I scanned the room looking for a way out. I spotted the new safety rep, I couldn’t even remember his name, but I gave him a nod and wave, like we were old friends, hoping he would head this way. Just then my phone beeped. Another picture message from Sam. I made sure my eyes were the only ones able to see my phone before I opened the message. It was that sweet, perfectly groomed pussy. Mother Fucker.