Bachelor at Her Bidding (Bachelor Auction Book 2) (12 page)

“What made it worse was that the woman in question was, um, his ex.”

“Oh, honey. That’s horrible for you.” Though Ryan still didn’t get why Rachel had tensed up on him. He wasn’t a cheat. He wasn’t her ex – and hopefully he didn’t remind her of her ex. It had to be something else. But what?

“And Esme… she was much curvier than I am.”

The words sounded as if they’d been dragged from her. And then Ryan realized. This was it. The thing that had hurt her. The thing that could get in their way, if they let it. Petite and delicate and slender, she’d clearly been compared to someone with lush curves – and not kindly, either.

So they needed to face it. Get it out in the open. And they’d slay this particular dragon for her together.

“And?” he asked, as gently as he could.

She closed her eyes. “Nick told me I wasn’t enough for him. Esme was everything he wanted – and I wasn’t.” She dragged in a breath. “He said I was like a boy and she was a real woman.”

Just as Ryan had suspected. Anger surged through him. Whatever had possessed Rachel’s ex to be so cruel? Or maybe it had been his way of justifying himself, with attack being the best form of defense. Even though Rachel had done nothing wrong. “So he wasn’t just a bastard – he was a
stupid
bastard,” Ryan said.

She dragged in a breath. “What Carol Bingley said about my sister and my friends needing to buy me a date –”

“–that was just Carol Bingley being Carol Bingley, and it’s not in the slightest bit true,” he cut in. “That woman has the social skills of a buffalo. She doesn’t speak for the rest of the town and she most certainly doesn’t speak for me.” He still couldn’t believe that Rachel’s ex had made her feel so inadequate, trying to make her take the blame for his behavior and his own shortcomings. “Have you ever heard the expression, ‘more than a handful is a waste’?”

She said nothing; but she also wouldn’t meet his gaze.

He put one finger under her chin, tilting it up until she looked him in the eye. “You’re lovely as you are, Rachel Cassidy.”

She didn’t look as if she believed him. And didn’t they say that actions spoke louder than words? So he’d show her. Prove it to her. “If you were super curvy, I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

He walked her backwards until they were almost at the kitchen door, lifted her up and eased her back against the wall, then lifted the hem of her skirt and bunched the material up round her waist so she could wrap her legs round him.

“Oh, now these are pretty – hold-up stockings.” He traced the lacy edges with the tip of his forefinger. “Did you wear them for me?”

She blushed. “I hoped you’d like them.”

“I do. Very much.” He let his fingers drift up a little further until they were cupping her sex through her panties. He could feel the heat of her sex, and he was dying to bury himself deep inside her. “If I’d had any idea about this at work today, I would’ve burned everything.”

She laughed. “I don’t believe that. You’re a perfectionist about your job.”

“But you are the ultimate distraction. I’ve been thinking about you all week. Wanting to touch you. Taste you. And what I really want to do…” He dragged in a breath. “Hold on,” he said and rummaged in his pocket. He opened the foil packet with his teeth; with one hand he undid his jeans, pulled his boxer shorts down far enough and then rolled the condom onto his cock.

“I can’t wait for you anymore. I’m so hungry for you,” he said. “And I’m very glad you’re not wearing jeans or pantyhose.” He pushed the gusset of her panties aside. “Because then it would have stopped me doing this.” He fitted the tip of his cock to the entrance of her sex and slowly, slowly eased into her.

Rachel’s huge blue eyes widened. “Oh, my God, Ryan! I can’t believe you’re…”

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since last Saturday,” he said softly. “Even though my head is saying I don’t have time in my life for any kind of relationship, that I’m not being fair to either of us, the rest of me wants you so badly that I can’t think straight. You’re lovely. And you are most
definitely
enough. Believe me. You fit just right. I think you’re perfect.”

A tear spilled over her lashes, and he kissed it away. “Don’t cry, honey. You feel amazing. And I want to make you feel as amazing as you make me feel.”

He shifted their positions slightly so he could push deeper, and she gasped.

He stilled. “Too much?”

She shook her head. “It’s good.” Her voice was wobbly and he could hear how brave she was trying to be when she added, “Almost as good as your food.”

“Now that sounds like a challenge. Accepted.” He kissed her, then concentrated on making quite sure that she saw stars, pushing deep inside her, taking it slowly at first and then speeding up as he felt her getting wetter and hotter. Again, there was that breathy little moan that sent a thrill right through his gut – and then his own climax hit him.

When he finally dared to move, he eased out of her and let her slide back down to the ground. “I need to sort this out in the bathroom,” he said, “but, before I do, there’s something really important I need to say.”

He saw the flicker of worry in her eyes before she suppressed it, and leaned down to kiss her lightly. “Your ex didn’t know what he was talking about,” he said, “but I most definitely do. Rachel Cassidy, you’re gorgeous, you turn me on in a big way, and you make me want to break every single one of my rules.” He held her gaze. “Your ex didn’t deserve you. But don’t you
ever
let him make you doubt yourself. He’s not worth it – but you most definitely are. You’re more than worth it.”

*

Rachel’s knees felt
as if they’d turned to Jell-O. In all the years she’d been with Nick, nothing like this had ever happened before; sex had always been in the marital bed, missionary-style, with the lights off.

Probably because pretending that he was with someone else was the only way her husband been able to get through it. And even now the thought hurt.

But Ryan… Ryan had focused on her. On giving her pleasure. He’d made her fall apart in her bed, and now again against her kitchen wall. With the lights on. OK, with the blinds closed as well, but still in the brightest-lit room in her apartment. He hadn’t even waited to take their clothes off. He’d said he was hungry for her.

And he’d said she fit just right…

She was still putting her clothes back to rights with shaking fingers when Ryan came back into the kitchen and kissed her. “Hey. You OK?”

“I think so.” She blew out a breath. “I, um, sorry for being lame.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “Your ex made you feel bad for something that was his fault, not yours. Which is the lowest of the low. You’re worth a lot more than that, Rachel.” He kissed her again. “And I feel bad, because I’m going to have to go very soon and pick Gram up.”

“It’s OK. We already talked about this. I know your time’s limited.”

“But it makes me feel as if I’m deserting you, when all I want to do is hold you close and talk to you and do all the normal things that–”

She stopped him by pressing a finger against his lips. “I’m not ready for a relationship right now. Neither are you. So it’s fine. This is what it is. We both agreed to a crazy fling. One with limits, so neither of us gets hurt.”

“I know.” He stole a kiss. “But it doesn’t mean I’m going to treat you as if you’re one of the old bordello girls.”

“You and me – it’s just for fun, it’s just between us, and there are no strings,” she said. “We’re not courting.” Even if half of Marietta seemed to want it to happen. She was sure that people had been singing her praises to Ryan as much as they’d sung his praises to her.

“But we’re going to be friends,” Ryan said. “I like you, Rachel Cassidy.”

His honesty disarmed her a little. “I like you, too.” She stroked his face.

“So can I see you on Monday?”

“Same time, same place?” she suggested.

He kissed her again. “Perfect. And I get the whole weekend to work out what I’m going to do to you next.”

That definitely sounded more like a promise than a threat. Pure pleasure. And Rachel could feel a pulse beating hard between her legs.

“I’m going to explore every inch of you. With my hands, with my eyes, with my mouth,” he said huskily. “And I’m going to enjoy you doing the same to me. I want to watch you touch me. And I want you to watch me touching you.”

Rachel’s knees went weak. “How long is it until Monday?”

“Too long.” He kissed her hard. “But I promise you it’s going to be worth the wait. For both of us.”

‡

O
ver the next
couple of weeks, Rachel was happier than she’d been in years. She saw Ryan from Monday to Thursday, from a few minutes after his shift ended until he needed to go and pick up his grandmother. Sometimes they made love; other times they just sat and chatted, with her sitting on his lap and his arms wrapped round her, and she enjoyed the closeness.

The more she learned about him, the more she liked him. Far from being the grumpy Parisian-trained chef who’d cooked her a birthday dinner, Ryan Henderson was sweet-natured and surprisingly gentle.

“So what kind of desserts do you like making most?” she asked.

“I like making all of them,” he said. “It’s the best feeling in the world when you see people really enjoying the food you just cooked for them, or when they call in advance to see if their favorite is on the menu today.”

“The dessert you made for me, when you blow-torched the crème brûlée – is that the kind of thing you did back in Bozeman?”

“Yes. I guess I miss experimenting,” he said. “It’s fun to play around with ingredients and see if you can mix it up a bit to make it more exciting – say making it in a different format, like a cheesecake in a
verrine
.”

“What’s a
verrine
?” she asked.

“A dessert in a shot glass,” he said. “It’s something they do in a lot of Parisian patisseries. So instead of having the crumb crust base on a cheesecake and maybe decorating the top, you have a fruit compote in the bottom of the glass, the mousse in the middle and a light crust on the top. And it’s fun to play with textures and taste, ring the changes with an old favorite to make it new and special.”

“Like your red velvet cheesecake – so the customer gets the best of both worlds?”

“That was the idea, and thankfully the customers seem to like it.” He kissed her lightly and changed the subject. “So what about you?”

“I like all of my job, too,” she said. “I decided early in my training I wanted to be a family doctor rather than work in a hospital department, because this way I get to know my patients and I get to see some of them grow up. I like actually knowing that I’m making a difference to the town.”

Being right in the heart of the community, he thought, was what he really liked himself. He and Rachel definitely saw the world from the same direction; which was odd for him because Lucille had always wanted something else. She’d never been satisfied, even when he changed his plans to fit in with hers. But Rachel – Rachel liked being in the heart of the place.

*