Baby on Board (8 page)

“He was the worst daredevil,” Ian told Kate. “He built a hang glider out of two-by-twos and an old spinnaker and launched himself off the roof of the metal shop at the yard. The thing went down like a stone,” he added with a laugh. “Patty’s lying there, broken pieces of wood sticking up all around him and Ma thinks he’s dead.”

Kate looked at Patrick, eyes wide. “Were you hurt?”

“A few scratches. Nothing broken.”

“
That
time,” Jeannie interjected, then went on to relate another incident where Patrick had not been so lucky.

Kate laughed as Patrick’s siblings related the childhood exploits of the man sitting next to her. Slowly, as daring deed piled on top of daring deed, her amusement died. She began to see a pattern that alarmed her and sent her spirits plummeting. He had always sought excitement and adventure. From the day he started walking, trouble had been his destination.

She stole a glance at Patrick as he laughingly refuted one of Jeannie’s claims. He was secretly proud of his feats. She could see it in his face, hear it in his voice. She realized that skippering racing yachts on the ocean wasn’t just a passing fancy. Though he might stop for her sake, he would always gravitate toward adventure—and danger. It was bred in his bones. If not sailing, he would find something else.

Kate looked down at the remains of the meal in front of them, then at the people seated around the table. Laughter abounded. Jeannie’s husband, Charlie, had joined them, sitting close to his wife and stroking a hand over her back. Evan sat at one end of the table tossing a ball for a large black Lab. He had added some of the more hair-raising details to the stories. Children raced back and forth from the grass to the table with either complaints or triumphs. It was the picture of a happy, loving family.

Evan was partly right; by themselves, Patrick’s family had the power to change her mind. But Kate couldn’t dismiss the stories she had heard. Patrick might change his travel schedule to be with her and the baby, but he could never change who he was. She didn’t want a daredevil or a vagabond for a husband, no matter how terrific the family that produced him.

Kate rose to her feet and smiled at everyone. “This has been lovely, but I’m afraid I have to leave.”

Patrick took her hand. “Not yet, Katie.”

“We’re all going for a swim,” Evan said, a devilish glint in his eyes. “Don’t you want to stay for that?”

Kate glared at him. “Too bad I didn’t bring my suit.”

“It was great meeting you,” Jeannie said. “I’ll call Patty and we’ll plan dinner together some night.”

Kate smiled but didn’t answer. She began stacking the plates as everyone rose. Ian brought a trash can over and the table was cleared in moments. He dropped a kiss on her cheek.

“See you soon, Kate.”

“Bye, Ian.”

As she moved across the grass, Patrick fell into step beside her. “Thanks for coming, Katie.”

“You have a very nice family.”

He smiled. “Nice, loud and sometimes obnoxious,” he said with a laugh. “I hope they didn’t overwhelm you.”

“No.” Kate paused. “They’re really different from mine, though.”

“What’s your family like?” Patrick’s eyes were alight with curiosity. “You don’t talk much about them.”

She shrugged. “Small and quiet.”

“No wonder you’re ready to leave.”

Kate remained silent. When they reached her car, she opened the door and was hit in the face with a blast of trapped heat.

“Give it a minute to cool.” Patrick pulled her away from the vehicle into the shade of a nearby tree.

He ran his hands over her arms, sending a shiver across her skin. This close, the aroma that was Patrick Berzani tantalized her. She wanted to bury her nose in his neck and nibble a path upward to his ear, tasting and tempting him in equal measure. Patrick seemed to sense her desire and his eyes turned dark in answer.

“Can I come over tonight?”

Kate swallowed hard, tempted to say yes. It would be so easy. Just say yes and she would have Patrick, and if not him, at least his family. She had to admit the combination was very potent. If she could not create her own family, she might choose the Berzani clan. But what would that mean for her child? At the best, she would grow up longing for a father she seldom saw. At worst, Patrick would die in one of his daredevil feats and the baby would never know her father at all.

Slowly, she shook her head no.

“Why not?”

“Did you listen to the stories your family told about you?”

Patrick frowned. “Of course I did. I’ve heard them a hundred times. What are you—”

“In every one, you’re the kid who always pushes the envelope.
You
are the kid in jeopardy. You encourage others to follow along, get them to do things they wouldn’t dream of trying on their own.”

“Maybe that’s true. So?” He was still frowning.

Kate sighed and ran a hand over her hair, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. “You’re an adventurer, Patrick, in the true sense of the word.”

“I don’t see what this has to do with me coming over tonight,” he said impatiently.

“I know.” Kate stared at him for a long, silent moment. “You’re never going to change, Patrick. After today, I don’t think you can. You’re always going to push limits and try new things. Giving up sailing for me and the baby won’t make you any different.”

“Kate, those were stories about a young boy.” Patrick put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing slightly. “Every kid gets into trouble, tests the boundaries. Well, maybe I did push them further than most,” he added with a coaxing smile.

“And you still do,” she said.

Patrick shook his head, his face serious. “Not like that. The ocean’s no place to be cocky.”

“Then why can’t you quit? Stay home. Work in your family’s marina?”

“I suppose because sailing is part of who I am,” he said quietly.

“And you love it. I’ve seen the look on your face when you talk about racing. Your eyes light up like someone plugged you into an electrical socket.”

“I
do
love racing, but I can cut back on it, so I’m here more than I’m gone.”

Kate took a step away and hugged her arms around herself. She felt cold, despite the heat of the afternoon. “I don’t think you should,” she said.

Patrick was plainly astounded. “What?” he asked, shaking his head.

“It would be wrong for you to give up what you love. It’s also wrong for me to ask you. It would just be a matter of time before you hated me for tying you down.”

Patrick was silent, watching her, his face still. He made no attempt to touch her again, but shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts. A car passed by and pulled into a slot farther along. The people got out and walked off with only a brief glance at Kate and Patrick.

“Why does this sound like goodbye?” he asked. His voice was quiet and deep, hard to hear over the shouts of the children in the park.

“Maybe because it is?” Kate’s voice was a whisper, too. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she knew her words sliced like a jagged knife. “I can’t live with a man like that. I can’t have him be the father of a child that I love. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Kate looked away, toward the pavilion. Fewer people were left now. Most had gone down to the beach to swim.

“How can you throw everything we have away so easily?”

“This is not easy, Patrick!” Tears welled up in her eyes and she blinked them back. “But we can’t ignore the truth about who we are. Too much is at stake. I’m sorry,” she said again. “I truly am.”

Kate turned and walked quickly to her car. Patrick didn’t try to stop her. As she pulled out of the parking lot, she took one last look in the rearview mirror. Patrick was standing where she had left him, hands in his pockets. He looked so lonely and sad.

A tear trickled down her cheek as she resolutely turned her attention to the road in front of her. She wiped the sadness away. She wouldn’t cry. From now on, she would look to the future. She must. Her baby depended on it. But the tears still persisted, a soft rain of sorrow that wouldn’t stop. Would she ever be over Patrick Berzani? Her heart whispered no, but Kate refused to listen.

Patrick stood at the helm of the sailboat, feeling the rhythm of the waves through the wheel. He reached over and gave the winch another couple of turns, trimming the jib taut.
Blue Magic
picked up speed immediately, flying over the water. With one foot braced on the seat, he looked up at the mast, checking the rake. The backstay needed a bit more tension. A few pumps on the hydraulic adjuster took care of it and improved the shape of the sails, too.

Setting the autopilot, Patrick made a trip up the leeward deck, checking the tension of the shrouds. They all seemed to be loose enough without being too slack. He stopped at the mast and sighted up along its length. The rake was right, now. He looked at the foresail. The laminated fabric gleamed golden in the sunlight as it absorbed the power of the wind.

Back in the cockpit, Patrick took the wheel again. Wind and water were in concert, pushing the boat forward. Out here, he felt completely alive, his senses alert and his body in tune with the boat. Knowing what to do when the wind veered or backed was instinctual, as much a part of him as breathing. Kate was right; he had been born and bred to sail. How could he ever give it up, even for her?

All he had done for the past few days was think about Kate, the baby and his future—
their
future. He still had no idea what to do. She was right about another thing. If he gave up racing for her sake, he would feel bitter about it, and maybe even put the blame on her. Part of his soul would die if he couldn’t be out here on a day like this, pushing himself and a boat over the water.

Patrick went forward to make another check of the rig. Everything looked shipshape. He stood at the mast, surveying the horizon and thinking. Sure, he could cut back on his time at sea, but that wasn’t enough for her. She was adamant; she wanted him to be around all the time or not at all. And what if he did what she wanted, would she start to nag him about taking unnecessary risks, too?
Be careful of the lawn mower, honey. Watch yourself on those steps.
Imagining these possibilities, Patrick could almost feel the chains wrap around his freedom. He shivered, despite the heat and went to the wheel again.

He remembered what Kate had said about him being an adventurer. He had denied it, but now he knew she was at least partly right. He did like to challenge himself, but that didn’t make him some crazed adrenaline junkie, no matter what she thought. He wasn’t doing it for the thrill. He just couldn’t see doing things halfway, especially on something as beautiful as a boat, making her way over the water with all her sails set.

He tacked the boat over and kept going around, easing the sails into a broad-reach to retrace his course. Going downwind, the motion of the boat was gentler. No other boats were nearby, so he sat and let the gentle motion of the boat soothe him. Pulling his hat off, Patrick raked a hand back through his long hair. He needed a haircut soon, but not if he pulled it all out in frustration.

He had doubts about his abilities as a father, too. A whole truckload of doubts. Until he’d learned about Kate’s pregnancy, the idea of becoming a father had crossed his mind as something hypothetical, a role he might consider taking on someday. Well, that day had arrived. Whatever his doubts and uncertainties, Patrick was sure of two things. Whether he was ready or not for the job, he would put everything he had into parenting. If Kate would let him. He just had to figure out a way to convince her that she should. He was also certain that no man could raise his child as well as he could.

As he approached the marina, Patrick furled the sails and turned on the engine. It started easily and ran smoothly now. Whatever had been wrong was fixed. He keyed the microphone on the VHF radio and called for a dockhand to handle lines as he motored around the breakwater. At the dock, he slid the boat smoothly into the slip, reversing the engine to stop it in place and tossed the mooring lines to a young man waiting there. In minutes the boat was secured.

“Thanks, Bill,” Patrick said.

“My pleasure. I saw you coming in. She looks beautiful.”

“She sails as good as she looks.”

“You need anything else?” Bill asked.

“No, thanks. I’ll just lock her up and put the covers on.”

With a brief salute, Bill jogged up the dock, the radio at his waist squawking, directing him to some other task. Patrick smiled. The kid had more energy than two guys. He hoped his folks could convince him to stick around for longer than the summer.

Patrick had just finished buttoning up the mainsail cover when he was hailed by a tall, lanky man with graying hair.

“Patrick! How’s my baby doing?”

“Hey, Jimmy.” Patrick hopped off the boat and greeted the older man. “I think she’s ready for her first lesson. How about if you clear your schedule tomorrow morning and we’ll take her out?”

“That’s what I want to hear.” Jimmy rubbed his hands together and chortled. “Consider it cleared.”

Patrick laughed. James Steele Johnson sounded like a kid on Christmas Eve. The childish glee seemed odd for a fifty-year-old man, but even the biggest boys loved getting toys.

“Be here at eight. The wind’s supposed to hold through early afternoon, so we’ll put her through her paces and get you familiar with all the systems.”

Jimmy looked regretfully at the sleek blue craft. “Too bad we can’t just take her out for a spin right now.”

Patrick shrugged. “Why not? I’ve got the time.”

“Don’t tempt me. I’ve got a dinner date this evening. I’d be scalped if I stood her up for a sail.”

“Your call.” Patrick tightened one of the lines on the cleat and the two men walked up the dock together. “So who’s this hot date that’s coming between you and your boat? You still seeing Jill?”

“Nah. This is someone new. You might know her. Kate Stevens, the glassblower. She has that store Fire Works over on Oak Street.”

Patrick clenched his jaw and stopped dead in his tracks. “So, you’re candidate number two.”

Jimmy surprised him by laughing. “That’s what her aunt called me when I stopped by there yesterday. Bachelor number two, I think she said.”

Patrick looked away, out toward the docks, debating what to say next.

“What’s wrong?” Jimmy asked.

“Nothing.” Patrick bit his tongue and held his ground. He felt like doing damage to any man who touched Kate. But this man was a client. And a friend. “Have a good time,” he said flatly.

“You sure you don’t want to tell me something?”

“It’s nothing. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Patrick started to walk to his truck, then turned back. “Hey, Jimmy?”

“Yeah?” The older man was still looking at him.

“Do you know about Kate’s…I mean do you know she’s—” Patrick stumbled on the question.

“Do I know she’s pregnant?”

“You know?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So you’re still going out with her?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” It was Jimmy’s turn to look surprised. “I like her. She’s pretty, sexy, intelligent.”

“Do you know
why
she wants to go out with you?”

“Of course. And I’m honored she’d consider an older guy like me.” Jimmy took a few steps closer. “Truth is, Patrick, I can’t have kids of my own, so it’s an opportunity to be a father. Never thought I’d have the chance.” He shrugged. “I guess I was a little shocked at first when she told me the deal, but I like Kate’s spunk. When I had a chance to think it over, I realized that I’ve got a lot to pass on to someone. Doesn’t matter if it’s my genes or not.”

Patrick shifted uncomfortably.

“What’s wrong? You got a problem with me going out with her?”

“Yeah, Jimmy,” Patrick said with a sigh. “I have to admit I do.”

“Why? Are you bachelor number three?”

“No. Near as I know, I’m not in the running.” Patrick expelled a blast of air from his lungs. “My turn to tell the truth, Jimmy. The kid’s mine.”

Jimmy’s eyebrows shot up. “Yours?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why is she looking for a father? And a husband, for that matter?” Jimmy narrowed his eyes on Patrick. “Did you dump her?”

“No!” Patrick had a sudden urge to punch his truck again. “No,” he repeated, reminding himself that none of this was Jimmy’s fault. “Look, it’s…it’s between Kate and me.”

Jimmy laughed. “Not anymore, man. Not if she’s asking me to be the father. What’s she got against you anyway?”

Patrick ran an impatient hand through his hair. “Kate doesn’t think I’ll be a good father. That I’m too much in love with sailing. I’m trying to convince her she’s wrong, but she’s not listening.”

The older man looked at him for a long, silent time. “Then you need to try harder.”

“I have been, trust me. Seems like I’ve run out of options.”

Jimmy hesitated, then he spoke. “Portside Yacht Club, seven o’clock.”

“What?”

“Better get cleaned up quick or you’ll be late,” the older man said tersely.

“You sure?”

“I think the real father deserves the first crack at this. If you want to make it work, I’m not going to stand in your way—regardless of what I want for myself.”

A grin spread across Patrick’s face. He put out his hand and gripped Jimmy’s tightly. “I owe you for this, man.”

“You got that right. I’ll have to think of something for payback.”

Patrick thought for a moment. “How about my America’s Cup jacket.”

“What? No way!”

“You heard me.” Patrick’s smile was wide. “This means a lot to me, Jimmy.”

“But you can’t replace something like that.”

“I can’t replace someone like Kate, either.” Patrick laughed. “Besides, I’ll get a chance to earn another jacket someday. Next time, it might even say Captain on it.”

“You must be serious about her.”

“I am. I’ll bring you your jacket tomorrow.”

With a brief salute, Patrick turned and walked away. When he was halfway across the parking lot, Jimmy called out to him.

“Good luck. And don’t screw up this time.”

Patrick laughed and shook his head. Not this time. He had been given another chance. This time, he knew how to use it.

K
ATE SAT
toying with the silverware on the linen-draped table. She looked at her watch again: seven-ten. She was hungry, and she hoped Jimmy wouldn’t be too late. The baby bounced impatiently, bringing a smile to her lips. Apparently she wasn’t the only one waiting for food. She smoothed the skirt of her dress over her thighs and subtly checked to see that the neckline hadn’t slipped.

When she had pulled the dress out of the closet, it seemed perfect for the evening. Black, with a soft ruffle along the neckline, the Empire-style was loose and comfortable, but still dressy enough for the yacht club. Putting it on, Kate had eyed the décolletage dubiously. Was it lower than she remembered, or was there just more of her to fit inside? Pregnancy had made changes to more parts of her body than just her stomach. She had decided to wear it anyway, but kept checking to be sure she was covered.

A commotion at the entrance caught her eye. Kate did a double take when she saw Patrick threading his way through the tables toward her. The maître d’, mouth pursed in disdain, followed close at his heels. Almost as astonishing was the extra-large, navy-blue jacket that Patrick wore over his green polo shirt and khaki trousers. She had never seen him in a sport coat, especially one so ill fitting. A red-and-gold-striped tie, knotted halfway down its length, hung loosely around his neck, too. The getup looked ridiculous, but rather than laugh, Kate found herself blushing. Even in those clothes, Patrick looked gorgeous. Heads turned and a low susurration of comments followed his passage through the dining room. When he reached her, he bent and kissed her cheek.

“Good evening. Sorry I’m a bit late.” His hand collided with the maître d’s as they both moved to pull out the chair opposite hers. “Thanks, man. I’ve got it.”

The maître d’ gave a twitch of his lips in a brief semblance of a smile and stepped back. When Patrick was seated, he handed him a menu and draped a cloth napkin across his lap.

“Your server will be with you shortly.” He turned on his heel and left.

Kate watched the ritual with her mouth open. She was at a complete loss for words. Patrick laid down the menu and smiled at her, leaning his elbows on the table.

“What are you doing here?” she finally managed.

“Joining you for dinner, obviously.” He paused and ran his eyes over her in a caressing stroke she could feel like a physical touch. His glance lingered on the low scoop of her neckline before rising to meet her eyes again. “You look gorgeous.”

“But…but, you can’t stay! I’m having dinner with someone else,” Kate sputtered.

“Right. Jimmy told me to tell you that he’s sorry but he couldn’t make it. He mentioned something about taking out a sailboat.”

“Why is this happening to me?” Kate put her hands over her face, as if blocking out the sight of Patrick.

The server chose that moment to arrive. She smiled at them brightly, with only a slight pause as she noted Patrick’s odd attire. “Welcome to the Portside Yacht Club. My name is Marnie and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Can I bring you something to drink? We have an extensive wine list, including several champagnes available by the glass.”

“Kate, what would you like?” Patrick raised his brows. When Kate lowered her hands and simply stared at him, he smiled at the waitress. “Give the lady some sparkling water and I’ll have a beer. Whatever you have on tap.”

“We have thirteen beers on tap, sir,” the waitress said with a smile. “Harp, Bass—”

“Just bring me a Yuengling. Bottle or draft, doesn’t matter.”

“Certainly.” With a little bow, she backed away from the table.

Patrick turned back to Kate. “It’s the clothes, isn’t it?” He ran a thumb under the large lapel. “Just ignore them. I am. I had time for a haircut, anyway.” He ran a hand over his freshly trimmed hair and looked around, meeting the eyes of several diners who stared back. He nodded briefly at one or two he obviously knew. Some acknowledged the greeting, others looked quickly away. Kate could see a grimace on his lips. “I remember now why I don’t come here.”