“Could we—I’d like to...to use my bed. Do you mind?”
“Sweetheart, I’m willing to use whatever you want. As long as you let me love you.” The wall, the floor, the kitchen table, whatever.
She smiled again, this time with flushed cheeks, and opened the door to her room.
He stood on the threshold, watching her move toward the bed. Was he dreaming? He’d wanted an invitation to her bed, but he hadn’t expected one. She hadn’t shown any interest in making love. What had changed?
“Maggie?” What kind of idiot was he, questioning her? He could bury himself in her, find relief for the desire that had made his life miserable almost from the first of his days—and nights—spent with Maggie.
“Yes?” she asked as she turned, still smiling. When she noticed he was hovering at the door, the smile disappeared. “What’s wrong?”
“I just want to be sure. You don’t have to do this.”
Her face tensed, her eyes going blank. “I...I know.”
Tense silence filled the room, and Josh didn’t know where to look. He certainly couldn’t stare at Maggie, or he’d forget what he’d just said.
“If...if you’re not interested—”
“Hell, Maggie, I’m interested!” he exploded, then added more quietly, “But this wasn’t part of the agreement.”
Her spine stiffened and Josh prepared himself for her rejection, knowing he’d spend the rest of the night trying to recover if she sent him away.
“I want it to be a part of the agreement.”
Her whispered words took time to penetrate his befuddled brain. When he finally realized what she’d said, he gasped. “You’re saying yes?”
She nodded.
Well, he’d done the noble thing. He’d held himself in check, given her a chance to reconsider. Taking the first step, he reached out for her. As he grabbed her waist and hauled her up against him, her arms slid around his neck, and she tilted her lips toward his.
His mouth settled over hers, his tongue seeking entry at once, looking for her sweet taste, finding Maggie more than cooperative. Damn, why had they wasted so much time?
He kissed her again and again, unable to slake his thirst. When he moved them closer to the bed, she pulled back. “The door. Close the door.”
When he turned back from the closed door, he discovered Maggie had moved to the bed and was waiting for him. He joined her, his mouth returning to hers, but his hands sped to the buttons on her simple cotton pajamas. Her hands slid beneath his polo shirt and massaged his chest, sending shivers through him.
He ripped the rest of the buttons free and bared her breasts. Lifting his mouth from hers, he stared at their rounded beauty, topped by tight buds. His mouth swooped to first one and then the other, leaving them wet from his loving.
A moan from Maggie drew his mouth back to hers. Their tongues mated and withdrew, then repeated the electrifying touch. His breathing sped up and he had to break away to gasp oxygen.
She shoved at his shirt and he whipped it off before he returned to spread out atop her, his hands shoving down her pajama bottoms. He discovered pale pink bikini panties guarding his goal.
Then he was distracted by Maggie’s hands at the top button on his jeans. He almost exploded, just thinking about her touching him. He might not even last long enough to consummate their lovemaking.
“Easy, baby, easy,” he whispered.
“I want—” she began, but he covered her mouth again.
He didn’t need to hear the words. Her body thrummed with electricity, as did his. Sex had never been like this before.
Inserting his hand inside that pink scrap of material, he felt her readiness as her frantic hands tugged at his shoulders and her legs widened in invitation. He broke off the kiss and reached for the top button on his jeans.
Maggie ground against his leg, and he wanted to be inside her, to feel that movement, to know he was satisfying her. His fingers seemed to be all thumbs as he tried to free himself.
“Josh,” she whispered, her hands returning to his chest, raking through his chest hairs, reaching around him, pulling, caressing, urging him.
He managed to shuck his jeans and briefs until they reached his ankles, where he encountered his tennis shoes. He’d forgotten he still wore them. With a muttered curse, he yanked on the shoelaces of his right shoe and broke them, scraping the shoe off. The second one came untied more easily, and he was able to finish undressing and return to Maggie’s eager body.
Their lips joined, and his blood raced faster and faster. He moved between her legs and let his arousal settle there, poised, ready, as he checked one more time to be sure she was ready for him.
Then he plunged into her.
And felt her convulsive jerk of pain.
His eyes widened in shock as he realized she was a virgin. Stunned, worried, he didn’t move, frantically wondering what he should do. He could withdraw, he thought, hoped, but—
Before he could make that decision, Maggie’s hands clutched his shoulders and urged him toward her.
“Josh, don’t—”
With painful determination, he returned to her lips, to soothe, caress, excite. He wanted her first time to be the best experience he could make it. Soon they were both so caught up in sensations, it was impossible to think.
When they reached satisfaction together, their bodies sweat-slicked and sated, he collapsed against her. Then his mind kicked in again, and he felt shame fill him. He’d ripped into her as if she’d been experienced.
He’d hurt her.
“Maggie,” he whispered, his voice strained. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She stilled beneath him, not even seeming to breathe.
“Maggie? Are you all right?”
He pushed up so he could see her face. Her eyes were closed, her cheeks deathly pale, and tears trickled down her face.
Chapter Eleven
“P
lease leave,” Maggie whispered, keeping her eyes closed. It would be too painful to see the displeasure on his beloved face.
“Maggie—”
“Please.”
She felt him withdraw, felt her skin cool as he moved away. She clawed for the covers and turned her back to him. Shame filled her. She’d begged him to make love to her. And she’d disappointed him.
She’d never considered herself a beauty, but she’d thought she and Josh might connect physically. Her desire for him hadn’t been enough, however.
He’d apologized.
Perhaps she should’ve been the one to apologize. Her inexperience had betrayed her. She didn’t know how to please her husband.
“Maggie, I’m...I’m sorry.”
She didn’t move or acknowledge his words in any way.
Though, if he said them again, she thought she might scream and scratch his eyes out. She didn’t want his apologies. She wanted his love.
But that was not to be.
The door closed, and she released her pent-up breath, her body sinking into the mattress. She’d be sore in the morning, both because of their lovemaking and because of the tension that filled her.
Until Josh’s apology, she’d been exhilarated, her blood pumping with pleasure, unbelievable pleasure. She’d never experienced anything as moving, as completing. Or as soul-destroying when she realized her husband...Josh...had not been similarly moved.
The tears continued to flow, and she sobbed into her pillow. From heaven to hell in such a brief spate of time.
What was she going to do now?
She’d hoped for the fairy-tale ending, for happily ever after, for what Kate had. Maggie had a husband, a baby, a beautiful house.
But her husband didn’t love her.
He didn’t even want her. She remembered now how reluctantly he’d stood on her bedroom threshold, asking her again if she wanted him to make love to her. She’d had to plead with him.
How humiliating.
It was several hours before Maggie managed to fall asleep. Miserable hours spent castigating herself for her shortfalls.
Josh heard Maggie get up with Ginny around six o’clock. He wanted to join her, to help with his child, but he didn’t dare. He feared his presence would only make things worse.
What was he going to do now?
He assured himself one more time that he hadn’t raped Maggie. He knew that. But as he relived their glorious lovemaking to the point of his entry, he swallowed hard. He felt again her pain at his careless treatment.
But he hadn’t known!
Why hadn’t she told him? She was twenty-six. Most women were experienced by that age. It had never occurred to him that she wouldn’t be.
He ignored the sneaky feeling of satisfaction that he’d been Maggie’s first lover. If he’d known, he’d have been a considerate lover, initiating her into the rigors of the greatest sharing on earth.
But he hadn’t known.
Would she forgive him? Would she allow him to show her how wonderful lovemaking could be between two people as ideally suited to each other as they were? He couldn’t believe how far over the top she’d taken him. It hadn’t been his first time. But it had felt like it.
If only he’d known.
After a half hour of hearing no movement, he rolled from his bed and hit the shower. He figured it would be better to be up and out of there before Maggie came downstairs. He needed to give her time. No man would try to discuss his sex life over breakfast.
Maybe he’d make. reservations at a romantic, candlelit restaurant. Court her. Let her know he—
Damn! He loved Maggie.
Panic filled him. He hadn’t intended to love her. She was wonderful, of course, but he didn’t want to make himself vulnerable. He stood under the stream of water, swallowing convulsively.
Could he stop loving her?
No time was necessary to answer that question. No, he couldn’t stop loving her.
He shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. Grabbing a towel, he roughly dried his body, trying to ignore his response to the thought of loving Maggie.
With a determination that pleased him, he realized he would fight for Maggie, for their love, their family. He’d convince her to love him. She’d at least wanted him last night. That was a start.
If she ever let him come within a mile of her again.
Maggie had taken Ginny into her bed after Ginny’s morning bottle, and the two of them slept for three more hours.
She knew why
she
slept—she hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. But she didn’t understand why Ginny was so sleepy. The baby babbled at her now, but she seemed cranky. Maggie felt her forehead and gasped.
The baby was hot.
Immediately, after checking her watch, Maggie called the diner and asked for Kate. Her misery and despair were forgotten as she worried over Ginny.
“Kate, Ginny’s hot! I think she’s running a fever.”
“Maggie? Calm down. Babies do that. Is she cutting a tooth?”
“I don’t know.” She tried to look into Ginny’s mouth, but the baby fussed and pulled away. “I can’t see anything. She’s got two front teeth already.”
“Put your finger in her mouth and run it over her gums. See if you can feel a break in the skin.”
Maggie wasn’t sure she would be able to identify a break in the skin, but she followed her sister’s directions. When she felt the barest edge of a little tooth on the bottom gum, she felt as if she’d discovered gold.
“Yes! Yes, she does. I mean, there is a break. Is that the reason she’s running a fever?”
“Yes. Just give her some baby aspirin and lots of water. She’ll be all right.”
“What kind of baby aspirin?”
“You don’t have any there?”
“No, but I’ll go get some.”
“Is Josh there? Send him,” Kate suggested.
“No, he’s gone to work.” At least she hoped and prayed he had. She couldn’t face him this morning.
“Then sit tight. I’ll go get the aspirin for you. See you in a few minutes.” Kate hung up before Maggie could protest.
She felt bad. Kate had a busy schedule and didn’t have time to run errands for Maggie. But she also felt a sense of relief. At least she had Kate, family, to support her. And Susan, too.
Even though Josh didn’t love her, want her, she had a family.
Her pleasure faded as she thought of her husband, longing to feel his arms around her, to hear him whisper her name.
By the time Kate arrived, Maggie was so depressed, she burst into tears.
“Maggie, really, the baby’s not that sick. She’s just teething.”
Maggie plopped down in a kitchen chair, Ginny clutched against her breasts. “It’s not Ginny. It’s me!”
Midway through the morning Josh called a florist and ordered a dozen red roses sent to his house. When he hung up the phone, he discovered Pete staring at him.
“What?”
“You in trouble already? You’ve only been married less than a week.”
“I’m sending the roses because I love my wife,” he stated emphatically, amazed at how he enjoyed saying those words, when he’d once thought loving a woman would be the kiss of death.
“Yeah, right,” Pete replied with a sarcastic grin. “That’s what they all say.”
“Okay, so maybe I messed up a little. But I didn’t intend to.” He hadn’t. But he couldn’t promise, even to himself, to back off, give Maggie time. He wanted her right now so badly he didn’t think he could stand up without advertising that fact.
He now understood the real reason for a honeymoon. It gave a man a chance to make love to his wife without the rest of the world knowing how oversexed he was. The thought of occupying a hotel room with Maggie for a week or two was so thrilling, he knew he wouldn’t emerge until he had to return home.
“Maybe you’d better move right on up the ladder to diamonds. They’re more effective than roses.”
“Diamonds?” Josh considered, willing to try anything.
“Hey, I was only kidding. Unless whatever you did was worse than you admitted.” Pete studied him closely.
“No! No, it wasn’t. Just...just a minor thing.” One that would haunt him until he could erase its memory by making love to Maggie again. With tenderness and consideration.
His secretary interrupted his worrying. “Josh, Soquatch Insurance is on line two.”
“Insurance?” He looked at Pete. “Do we have a case with them?” His firm was frequently hired to check out claims.
“Nope. Not unless Don took it on yesterday.”
Josh picked up the phone. “This is Josh McKinley.”
Half an hour later, he hung up the phone, a broad smile on his face. “Well, Pete, we’ve struck the mother lode.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Soquatch Insurance Company is one of the largest employers in Kansas City. They’ve just hired us to do background checks on every person they employ and any new people they take on. And they’re paying top rate.”
“Wow. That’s a great haul. Are we going to be able to handle that much business?”
“We are as soon as I hire a couple of new people. Most of the work will be over the computer, however. Only if there’s a red flag in the research will we actually have to check it out in person.”
Pete frowned. “Computer work? That’s not very exciting.”
A feeling that had been growing in Josh crystallized at that moment. “You know, I enjoy working on the computer. And with my family, now, I think I might appreciate more regular hours. You and Don still seem to enjoy the chase, but I think I’m ready to pull back a little.”
“Man, I never thought I’d hear you say that,” Pete exclaimed, amazement on his face.
“I didn’t, either,” Josh assured him, but in his mind he was thinking of Maggie and Ginny waiting at home for him. He didn’t want to be away from them any more than he had to be. In fact, he might set up an office in the house and work there some days.
The best of both worlds.
He immediately began searching for possible candidates to expand his firm. And free him up for a more traditional family life.
Strangely enough, he was looking forward to it.
Once Ginny took the aspirin and had her lunch, she was ready for her afternoon nap. Mrs. Lassiter promised to watch over her as she cleaned, and Maggie was being dragged off to the Lucky Charm Diner by Kate for a late lunch. And a consultation.
When they arrived, Susan, their half sister, whom Kate had summoned by phone, was waiting for them in the last booth, the one the family used.
“What’s so urgent?” Susan asked as Kate and Maggie slid in across from her.
Maggie’s cheeks flamed and she stared down at the tabletop. It was embarrassing to explain her problem.
Kate seemed to have no difficulty. “Maggie’s fallen in love with Josh, but she doesn’t think he loves her.”
“But I thought
he—
Well, everything did happen quickly,” Susan finished tactfully.
Kate rolled her eyes and laughed, but Maggie sent Susan a grateful smile. “Yes, it did. I guess I’m expecting miracles.”
“Miracles are nice,” Susan agreed. When silence fell, she looked at Kate. Though she’d only known her sisters a short while, she knew what was coming. “You have a plan?”
Kate chuckled. “You’ve learned to read us quickly, haven’t you? Yes, I have a plan. Maggie thinks she should be patient, give him time. I think she should knock his socks off.”
“How?”
“Maggie’s always downplayed her looks. She dresses like someone’s maiden aunt, but her figure is just as good as mine, or yours, for that matter. Since you’re the most stylish of the three of us, I thought you could show her what to do.”
“You mean how to dress to attract men? I don’t—”
“Susan, sweetie, I know you don’t set out to flirt, but men notice you.”
“Because she’s so pretty, Kate. I’m not like either one of you,” Maggie protested. “You’re a redhead who sparks electricity, and Susan is a blonde, every man’s dream. I’m just...me.”
“See what I mean?” Kate said, raising her hands, palms up, in surrender.
“Yes, I think I do. It’ll take a little time and money, Maggie. Do you have some spare money for a new wardrobe?” Susan asked. Money always had to be a consideration in her decisions.
“Yes, I—”
“I do, if she doesn’t. It can be a wedding present,” Kate added as Maggie opened her mouth to protest.