Baby Bonanza (13 page)

Damn it. She was shutting him down, and he couldn’t even find it in himself to blame her. Panic warred with desperation inside him and it was a feeling Nick wasn’t used to. He was
never
the guy scrambling to make things work. People cowtowed to
him.
It didn’t go the other way.

Yet here he stood, in front of this one woman, and knew deep down inside him that the only shot he’d have with her was if he played his last card.

“Oh, for—” Nick reached out with his free arm, snaked it around her shoulders and dragged her in close to him. So close that their bodies and the bodies of their sons all seemed to be melded together into a unit. “Fine. We’ll do it the hard way, then. Damn it Jenna, I
do
love you.”

“What?” Her eyes held a world of confusion and pain and something that looked an awful lot like hope.

She hadn’t even looked that surprised when he’d shown up at her house a few days ago. That gave him hope. If he could keep her off balance, he could still win this. And suddenly Nick knew that he’d never wanted to win more; that nothing in his life had been this important. This huge. He had to say the right things now. Force her to listen. To really hear him. And to take a chance.

Staring down into her eyes, he took a breath, and then took the plunge. The leap that he’d never thought to make. “Of course I love you. What am I, an idiot?” He stopped, paused, and said, “Don’t answer that.”

“Nick, you don’t have to—”

“Yeah, I do,” he said quickly, feeling his moment sliding by. He hadn’t wanted to have to admit to how he felt. He’d thought for sure that she’d go for the marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-boys thing and then he could have had all he wanted without mortgaging his soul. But maybe this was how it was supposed to work. Maybe you couldn’t
get
love until you were willing to
give
it.

“Look, I’m not proud of this, but I’ve been trying to hide from what I feel for you since that first night we met more than a year ago.” His gaze moved over her face and his voice dropped to a low rush of words that he hoped to hell convinced her that what he was saying was true. “I took one look at you and fell. Never meant to. Didn’t want to. But I didn’t have a choice. You were there, in the moonlight and it was as if I’d been waiting for you my whole damn life.”

“But you—”

“Yeah,” he said, knowing what she was going to say. “I pulled away. I let you go. Hell, I told myself I
wanted
you to go. But that was a lie.” Laughing harshly, he said, “All this time, I’ve been calling you a liar, when the truth is, I’m the liar here. I lied to you. I lied to myself. Because I didn’t want to let myself be vulnerable to you.”

“Nick—” She swallowed hard and a single tear rolled down her cheek. He caught it with the pad of his thumb.

“It would have been much easier on me,” he admitted, “if you’d accepted that half-assed, marriage-of-convenience proposal. Then I wouldn’t have had to acknowledge what I feel for you. Wouldn’t have to take the chance that you’ll throw this back in my face.”

“I wouldn’t do that—”

“Wouldn’t blame you if you did,” he told her. “But since you didn’t go along with my original plan, then I have to tell you everything. I love you, Jenna. Madly. Completely. Desperately.”

Fresh tears welled, making her eyes shine, and everything in him began to melt. What power she had over him. Over his heart. And yet he didn’t care anymore about protecting himself.

All that mattered was her.

“You walk into a room and everything else fades away,” he said softly. “You gave me my sons. You gave me a glimpse into a world that I want to be a part of.”

Another tear joined the first and then another and another. In her arms, Jacob hiccupped, screwed up his little face and started to cry in earnest. Quickly, Nick took the boy from her and cradled him in his free arm. Looking down at his boys, then to her, he said, “Just so you know, I’m not prepared to lose, here. Nick Falco doesn’t quit when he wants something as badly as I want you. I won’t let you go. Not any of you.”

He glanced behind him at the sprawling house, then shifted his gaze back to her again as he outlined his master plan. “We’ll live here. You can do your gift baskets in the house instead of the garage. There’s a great room upstairs that looks over the ocean. Lots of space. Lots of direct light. It’d be perfect for you and all of your supplies.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but Nick kept going before she could.

“I figure until the boys are in school, we can live half the year here, half on board ship. It’ll be good for ’em. And if they like the dog I bought them, we’ll take her along on the ship, too.”

“You bought a d—”

“Golden retriever puppy,” Nick said. “She’s little now, but she’ll grow.”

“I can’t believe—”

The words kept coming, tumbling one after the other from his mouth as he fought to convince her, battled to show her how their lives could be if she’d only take a chance on him.

“Once they’re in school, we can cruise during the summers. I can run the line from here and I have Teresa. I’ll promote her,” he said fiercely. “She can do the onboard stuff and stay in touch via fax.”

“But Nick—”

“And I want more kids,” he said, and had the pleasure of seeing her mouth snap shut. “I want to be there from the beginning. I want to see our child growing within you. I want to be in the delivery room to watch him—or her—take that first breath. I want in on all of it, Jenna. I want to be with you. With them,” he said, glancing at the twins he held cradled against him.

The boys were starting to squirm and he knew how they felt. Nick’s world was balanced on a razor’s edge, and he figured that he had only one more thing to say. “I’m not going to let you say no, Jenna. We belong together, you and me. I know you love me. And damn it, I love you, too. If you don’t believe me, I’ll find a way to convince you. But you’re not getting away from me. Not again. I won’t be without you, Jenna. I can’t do it. I won’t go back to that empty life.”

The only sound then was the snuffling noises the twins were making and the roar of the sea rushing into the cliffs behind them. Nick waited what felt like a lifetime as he watched her eyes.

Then finally she smiled, moved in close to him and wrapped both arms around him and their sons. “You really are an idiot if you think I’d ever let you get away from me again.”

Nick laughed, loud and long, and felt a thousand pounds of dread and worry slide from his shoulders. “You’ll marry me.”

“I will.”

“And have more babies.”

“Yes.” She smiled up at him, and her eyes shone with a happiness so rich, so full, it stole Nick’s breath. “A dozen if you want.”

“And sail the world with me,” he said, dipping his head to claim a kiss.

“Always,” she said, still smiling, still shining with an inner light that warmed Nick through. “I love you, Nick. I always have. We’ll be happy here, in this wonderful house.”

“We will,” he assured her, stealing another kiss.

“But you’re going to be housetraining that puppy,” she teased.

“For you, my love,” Nick whispered, feeling his heart become whole for the first time in his life,
“anything.”