B00CQUPUKW EBOK (13 page)

Bryce put pressure on the gas pedal.  “We’re almost home,” he said, and ended the call.

He glanced warily at Kaya.  There was no need for them to say anything.  They knew what needed to be done. 

* * *

Kaya studied Jason as he and Anastasia played on the floor in the sitting areas of the second-floor balcony.  He was making funny faces and noises, and Anastasia stared back at her big brother, kicking her little arms and legs and trying to mimic his sounds.  It was such a sweet picture, one Kaya wished she could capture and replay over and over again.  It was the happiest scene she’d seen since she arrived in Granite Falls, and a welcome change to the one she and Bryce had come home to a few hours ago.

They had found Alyssa in her parents’ bed, hugging Snoopy, and sobbing her little heart out.  It was a pitiful sight.  The child’s heart-wrenching sobs and questions about the whereabouts of her mommy and daddy had brought tears to Kaya’s eyes.  Heeding Samantha’s advice, Kaya had been ready to tell Alyssa the truth about her parents, but Bryce had stopped her.  He thought it best if she heard it when she was in a calmer and more receptive state of mind.  Kaya didn’t argue with him, since he was the expert when it came to the children’s emotional needs.

Bryce’s promise to take Alyssa for a sleigh ride on the lake after lunch had gotten her out of bed and down to the kitchen to have some of the delicious lunch he’d ordered from Andreas.

After lunch and Libby’s departure, Bryce had taken Jason aside to discuss the conversation he’d overheard between Kaya and Libby, and about going to say goodbye to his parents.  Kaya wasn’t privy to that conversation, but when he and Bryce returned from Jason’s bedroom, the boy’s attitude toward her had changed.  He was more tolerant and civil.  He’d even responded politely when she tried to strike up a conversation with him.  They weren’t friends yet, but they weren’t enemies anymore.  Bryce could have maligned her to Jason.  But he hadn’t.  She hadn’t yet figured out if his influence on Jason was good or bad for her in the long run.

With Jason temporarily in a better frame of mind, Bryce had turned his full attention to Alyssa.  They’d been out on the lake for about forty minutes and probably should be coming in soon.  It was below freezing out there—a fact that neither of them heeded when she’d pointed it out.  They were true New Englanders.  Kaya shuddered at the very thought of being out in that kind of weather for such a long time.

Kaya stilled when Jason suddenly turned and glanced over at her.  For a few seconds, all that was audible in the room were the crackling sounds coming from the fireplace.

“You look like Alyssa,” he said, a mild curiosity in his silver-grey eyes.

Kaya chuckled.  “I think she looks like me.  You have your dad’s eyes,” she added, pushing the envelope just a tiny bit.  “But you have your grandpa’s ears.”

He cracked a shy smile.  “His big ears.  Mommy used to tell me that all the time.”  He broke their gaze and looked off into the crackling fire, his smile replaced with a sheet of sadness. Kaya’s heart went out to him.  She was about to get off the sofa and join him on the floor when Anastasia kicked him in his stomach and gurgled.  That pulled him out of his funk.  He ducked his head and let Anastasia grab one of his big ears.

Kaya broke into a grin.  When she used to tug on her father’s Dumbo ears, he’d toss her high in the air in retribution.  She was never afraid because she knew he would always be there to catch her.  He never let her fall.  What she wouldn’t give to have those years back, to have those thick arms wrapped around her, protecting her, comforting her.

Pushing the memories aside, Kaya turned and gazed out the glass wall overlooking the back of the house.  A single sleigh trail led away from the pier near the boathouse and further into the lake.  From there, it turned into a maze of circles, and then again into one trail that disappeared around the pine tree line. 

She wasn’t looking forward to telling Alyssa about her parents when she and Bryce eventually retuned.  Kaya wished she had the power to fast-forward into the future to a happier time and place.  

Dread pushed her off the sofa when she heard voices downstairs.  She went to stand at the railing, her heart pounding against her chest as she watched Bryce climb the stairs with Alyssa in his arms.  Alyssa’s arms were locked about his shoulders, her face buried against his neck, and Snoopy trapped between them. 

He was so predatorily male, Kaya thought, captivated by his large frame, straight back line, and long, well-muscled limbs.  There was nothing insubstantial about this man.  He was born to conquer, to rule.

A hot flash of desire settled between Kaya’s thighs.  How could she be feeling this mesmeric fascination with him at a time like this?  They were in the wake of a tragedy with the air around them saturated with the stench and chill of death, yet her body constantly ached to be near him, to be touched by him, even when she was mad as hell with him.

She couldn’t shake the undeniable web of attraction that had been building between them since she first saw him in Steven’s office.  Even before she’d turned around and encountered his yard-wide shoulders and powerful, bronzed physique coming through the door, her heart had already turned over in response to his voice.  She’d trembled from his first gaze, burned at his first touch, and she was certain that Bryce had picked up the scent of her pheromones as she’d picked up his.  But alas, it was just lust.  What else could it be since he’d turned into a raging bull just minutes after the sparks had flared?

What Bryce had with Pilar was love.  
Simple and real
.  Kaya wondered about that feeling of instantaneous knowledge of a soul’s recognition of its counterpart in another.  She definitely never had that with Jack or any of the other men she’d dated.  Would she ever know it?  Should she wait for it? 

Kaya’s breath caught in her throat as Bryce walked across the landing toward her.  Her heart drummed harder at each step he took.  Even from a distance, she could feel the threat of excitement pulling tighter between them.  There was no denying that they shared an intense physical awareness of each other.  But neither was brave enough to explore it.  It was not the right time, she thought when Bryce stood beside her, tall and straight like a towering spruce.

As she gazed up at him and detected the explicit sadness lurking in the perimeter of his dusky eyes, Kaya realized that they many never have a chance to explore the attraction between them.

She wondered how much of the sleigh ride he’d actually enjoyed.  She knew that like her, he dreaded the next few moments when they would tell Alyssa about her parents.  He’d already lived through the horror of losing someone he loved, and here he was doing it again.  This time his pain was doubled, his grief threefold, because he had to absorb the loss of three children he loved.

He turned his head as Anastasia’s happy gurgle broke the spell.  “How are you and Jason?” he asked in a lowered voice.

“We’re good.”  Kaya smiled, thankful for the small blessing.

“Have you spoken to him about what he overheard?”

She crossed her arms over her stomach.  “Not yet.”

“You know you have to.  I tried to explain your reasons to him, but he needs to hear them from you.”

Kaya nodded.  “I know.  I will.  I will talk to him.”

“Can I go play with Jason and Stasia?” Alyssa asked, pointing at her siblings.

“In a little bit,” Bryce said.

On unstable legs, Kaya preceded him into the center of the room and dropped down in the middle of one of the three sofas.

Bryce eased down beside her, unwrapped Alyssa’s hands from around his neck, and sat her between them.  He took one of her small hands in his giant one and dropped a kiss on her head.  “Alyssa, you remember I said that your Aunt Kaya and I need to talk to you about something important?” he asked in a voice that was gentle yet tight with emotion.

Alyssa wrapped her arm about Snoopy and rested her chin on his head.  “Was I bad?”

“No.  Never.”  Kaya took her other hand and squeezed the tiny fingers.  She was still such a baby.  Kaya wanted to spare her the truth, but she knew she had to face the pain before she could heal and move on.

“Then why can’t I go play with Jason and Stasia?”  She pointed at her siblings.

Kaya noticed that Jason had stopped playing with Anastasia.  He was sitting up, his back against a club chair and Anastasia on his lap, but his full attention was centered on his other sister.  He seemed to be vacillating between staying where he was and coming over to join them.

“Because we have to talk about your mommy and daddy,” Bryce answered.

Alyssa’s eyes brightened as she gazed up at Bryce.  “Are they coming back from heaven?  Are we going to pick them up at the
aeroport
?  Are they gonna come out of your big plane, Uncle Bryce?”

  Kaya stifled a sob.  “No sweetie, your mommy and daddy can’t ever leave heaven.  They can never come home, Alyssa.”

“But you said they’re just on vacation.  Why can’t they come home?”

“Because— because they’re—” She couldn’t tell this child that her parents were dead.  It was too harsh.  
Too final.
 Kaya was twelve years old when Eli died, and she’d still fallen apart at the death of a father she hadn’t seen or spoken to in seven years.  Alyssa was only four, and up until three days ago, her parents were very much a part of her daily life.  How could anyone explain their absence in a way that would make sense to her?

“I’ll take it from here.”  Bryce lifted Alyssa onto his lap and began to brush his fingers through her brown curls.  “Alyssa, do you remember last summer when you and I went for a walk and we found a squirrel lying on the side of the road?” 

She thought for a moment then nodded.  “He got dead ’cause he came out too fast from the bushes and a car ran over him.  He didn’t look both ways, Uncle Bryce.  But I look both ways.  See, like this.”  She turned her head one way and then the other.

“That’s a good girl.”  Bryce shifted and braced his back against the cushions.  “Do you remember what Uncle Bryce said about what it means to be dead?  Why the squirrel couldn’t go home to his family?” 

“It means his heart don’t work no more.”

“That’s right.” 

“Well, sweetheart, your mommy and daddy are—”  He pulled her closer, propping his chin on the top of her head.  “What I’m trying to say, Alyssa, is that your mommy and daddy—  They— they died, baby.” 

Alyssa’s brows knitted tighter together.  “They didn’t go to heaven to see God?”

“Yes, Alyssa.  They— they are in heaven,” Kaya said, picking up the baton.  “That’s where people who love God go when they die.”

“And your mommy and daddy loved God very, very much,” Bryce added, smiling into her perplexed face.

Anastasia whimpered, drawing Kaya’s attention to the other side of the room.  Jason was shaking and tears were streaming down his face.  She immediately went to rescue Anastasia from his loose grip.  She wanted to sit with him, hold him, but was unsure of how he’d react to her. 

“But I didn’t see them dead,” Alyssa said.  “How did they get dead, Uncle Bryce?  Did they run across the street and didn’t look both ways?”

Bryce inhaled sharply.  “Not exactly, honey.  Your— your daddy’s car broke down.  And your mommy— she went to bring him home, but—” 

Kaya could tell he was trying to control his anger at Michael for not accepting the new truck he’d bought for his birthday.  Bryce had relayed that bit of information to her earlier today. He blamed Michael for turning his children’s lives upside down, not to mention his own and Kaya’s, too.

“It was snowing,” Bryce continued after a long pause, “and your mommy’s car, well, it skidded off the road.  There was no one around to help them.  It was very dark and cold.  Their hearts were hurt really badly and— um— and they just stopped working.”

“Did you dig a hole like we dug a hole for the squirrel and put them in it, Uncle Bryce?”

Kaya held Anastasia close to her chest as Bryce explained about the grave they would be digging in the spring for Michael and Lauren, because the ground was frozen over now.  While others would be planting flowers and seeds for a season of new life, she would be burying her sister and her brother-in-law.

This darling little baby she held in her arms would never remember the feel of her mother’s cheek pressed close to hers.  She would never hear the anxious sound of her father’s voice calling her back from danger.

“I don’t want my mommy and daddy to be dead, Uncle Bryce,” Alyssa said.  “I want them to come home.”

“I know, darling.  I wish they could, more than anything in the world.”

Her little mouth quivered, and moisture shimmered beneath her long, dark lashes.  She dropped her head against Bryce’s chest.  “I want my mommy and my daddy to come home.  I don’t want them to be in a hole.”  She clutched Snoopy closer.  “I want them to come home.” 

“I know, baby.  I know.”  Raw pain hummed in Bryce’s voice as he hugged the whimpering child.  The moans erupting from his throat, the tears streaming down his tortured face ripped at Kaya’s heart.  His sobs were old, tired, too long repressed.  He was crying for more than Michael and Lauren and these three little children he loved. 

He was crying an old hurt for the wife he’d lost. The wife whose death Michael and Lauren’s had resurrected.

“Uncle Bryce?”

Desperation edged Jason’s voice.  He ran to Bryce, fell on his knees, and wrapped his arms about him and his little sister.  He’d probably never seen Bryce cry before, Kaya thought. He looked as frightened as she did the day she watched her father cry for the first time before he walked out of her life, never to return.

Cradling Anastasia in one arm, Kaya sat beside Bryce and draped her other arm around his shoulders.  It was her time to lend a shoulder to cry on.  But as the sobs of the man and the children filled the room, Kaya’s own dam of pent-up emotions broke.

  Kaya wept for the sister she hardly knew, the brother-in-law she never met, and the tragic way their lives had ended.  She wept for the precious children Michael and Lauren had left behind, and through whose souls she would learn about the parents they’d lost.  Then she wept for Bryce and the pain that kept him shackled to his painful past.