B00B9FX0MA EBOK (14 page)

My stomach twisted. I couldn’t even think of simple memories without wondering whether she’d been missing the daughter who wasn’t there.

I balled up the dress and continued to sift through the rest of the clothes. At the bottom of the drawer were a few scattered film negatives, the celluloid cracked. I held one of them up to the dim light.

It was a picture of a newborn. I’d seen photos of me as a baby: They were all red-faced, screaming, as if angry at the indignity of birth. The image of the baby on the film was quiet, placid, staring straight into the camera.

I fanned through the strips, holding the next one to the light. It was the same baby, taken from a slightly different angle. Only there was something else, at the very bottom of the frame. It was a foot. It was grainy and blurry, as if the photo had been snapped midkick. The rest of the body was out of the picture, but it was clear: There had been two children.

Two
live
children.

So why had my mother been lying? And where — or what — was my twin doing now?

“I’m not afraid,” I said in a small voice, trying to convince myself.

And in a way, it was true.

I was terrified.

I
woke to a loud thud against the window.

My eyes shot open. Through the window, Keely was blinking down at me.

You okay?
she mouthed, motioning to me to open the door.

I hastily yanked the handle open and stood up, blinking in the bright sunlight. The parking lot was half-full. I’d slept through the initial zero-period rush and felt like I could sleep for hours longer.

I’d survived. I hadn’t been killed. I suppose it should have felt like a victory, but it felt only like the ghost, or whatever she was, was toying with me.

“Um, I know you love school, but sleeping here?” Keely wrinkled her nose and took a few paces back from me. Not like I blamed her. I hadn’t showered since Sunday. “That’s so not clutch.”

“I know it looks weird.”
Act normal.
“It’s just … my mom and I got into a fight, and …” I trailed off, hoping my vague explanation would be enough.

Keely winced. “Well, the next time that happens, you could just come over to my house. Seriously. You don’t need to be a car-sleeping weirdo.” Keely shook her head as Ingrid sidled up to her.

“Yo,” Ingrid said in a bored voice. “Sleeping in your car is, like, very Euro. We did that all through Spain to save money.”

“Cool,” I said tightly.

“Ing, it’s gross,” Keely said dismissively. “Seriously. Anyway, you should get yourself cleaned up or whatever. Especially before Matt sees you. I’d
wanted
to tell you that I think it’s cute you two are hanging out. But it’s hard to do that when you’re not cute. No offense or anything.”

“Yup.” Ingrid nodded and took a sip of her iced coffee while Keely beamed at me, clearly expecting me to respond. This must have been what Matt meant by getting Keely’s blessing on us dating.

“Thanks, Keely,” I said. I forced a smile. “It’s great to hear. Really.”

“Um, okay … don’t get all, like, overenthusiastic or anything. I just thought you’d want to know.”

“I do! I’m just … it’s been a weird few days. Hashtag: anticlutch.”

A small smile appeared on Keely’s face as she raked her fingers through her hair. “No worries. Sometimes people get weird. Like, I got this pedicure on Sunday with this new color called Poison Apple and I thought it’d be, like, all cool-looking. And instead, it looks like dried blood. And, seriously, it’s, like, totally messing with me.” Keely held up her sandal-clad foot and twirled her ankle in my direction.

“That’s intense.” I tried to sound interested. Ingrid slurped her iced coffee. Keely leaned down to brush a nonexistent speck of dirt from her toenail.

I coughed. I wanted to say
something
, but wasn’t sure where to begin.
So, I think I have a secret twin
wasn’t exactly before-school conversation. And it wasn’t like I wanted them to know. But I felt like I had to tell
someone
. Someone like …

“Yo!” a male voice called.

I whirled around. Matt.

“Skipping again, Westin?”

My stomach clenched. “Not really.” Seeing Matt was like grabbing a floating piece of driftwood in an otherwise empty ocean. He wouldn’t save me, but seeing him made me feel a teeny bit more supported.

“You were skipping?” Keely raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed.

“You couldn’t have had too much fun,” Matt teased. “I found your phone. It’s in my car. Want to grab it?”

“Yeah. See you guys,” I said as I trailed behind Matt. I was grateful to have an excuse to get away from Keely’s watchful gaze. How was it possible to actually get to know someone when every conversation was under a microscope?

“I actually have it here,” he admitted, reaching into his pocket and pulling out my phone from his shorts. I tried to ignore the jolt of electricity that occurred as our fingers touched.

“Thanks.”

“You weirded out on me yesterday. I was wondering if you were mad at me about something,” he said shyly.

I shook my head. “Just overwhelmed with stuff.” I glanced down at my phone. A bunch of missed calls from Mom. One from Adam. And one unknown number. I’d deal with it all later.

“That’s why you should take a break. Another one. Come out with me on Friday night.” Matt wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

“Out?” I repeated.

“Yeah. Like, grab some food, walk around, talk. All that
stuff. I mean, we had that heavy conversation at your place…. I feel like you need some serious chill time. Like, for real.”

“For real,” I repeated.

“Yup.” Matt nodded. I nodded. I didn’t want to be the one to say good-bye first. I wanted the moment to last forever.
This
seemed way more real than my night of terror.

All of a sudden, the bell rang, causing kids to appear from behind trees and slide out of the backseats of cars, as if they were playing some massive game of hide-and-seek. I watched them curiously, as removed as an anthropologist. I wished I could go back to only worrying about school and class schedules. I didn’t think I ever could.

“Ready?” Matt asked expectantly.

“Um …”

“Westin, skipping
again
?” He clapped his hand to his mouth in mock horror. “I never knew you were such a secret bad girl.”

I grimaced at the word
secret
.

“You okay?” Matt’s eyes widened.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m ready.” But I didn’t make any move to walk toward the doors.

“Geez, Westin, you’re asking for it.” He grabbed my waist and threw me over his shoulder.

“Hey!” I shrieked. I knew it was what I was supposed to do. “Put me down!”

“Will you promise you won’t skip?”

“Yes! Put me down!” I couldn’t shake the sense that I was being watched and that this would all end badly. I was relieved when my feet were back on the pavement. He grabbed my elbow and half dragged me through the doors just as the late bell rang.

“Uh-oh, we’re in trouble!” Matt said playfully. But I wasn’t listening. My focus was on Adam, standing at the entrance. He was holding a bouquet of forget-me-nots, but as far away from his body as possible.

“Hey,” I said. My eyes landed on the bouquet. Were those for me? They were the same flowers he’d gotten me when we’d won a partner debate.
To remind you that together, we’re awesome
, he’d said. But now, he seemed anything but happy.

Matt glanced between the two of us. “See you later.”

“Hey,
Westin
,” Adam said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Enjoying your celebration? It’s a big day. Here are your flowers, by the way,” he said, practically shoving them into my hands. Blooms scattered to the ground, the rose petals reminding me of blood. “I told Klish you were sick. Even though I was watching you in the parking lot the whole time. Do you know how disrespectful it is? Like, we did this thing together, the guidance office is all psyched, Miss Marsted made a freaking
feast
, and you didn’t even bother to show up.”

“I wasn’t invited to anything,” I said uncertainly.

“‘I wasn’t invited to anything,’” Adam said in a nasty, mocking tone I’d never heard before. “Whatever, Hayley. Klish said he called you twice. You knew about it. You were just busy with your new friends.”

“I didn’t know, Adam. I’m sorry. I don’t know who Klish called, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t even know you were also a finalist. I mean, that’s great … right?” I asked uncertainly.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s great. Whatever.” Adam shook his head. He rolled his shoulders back. “Actually, you know what? I’m done.” He kicked at the flowers on the floor.

“Huh?” I asked.

“I’m done with
you
, Hayley. This stupid guidance office thing was the last straw. I mean, here was this huge thing that we’d both been working for, and you couldn’t care less. You were mean to Miss Marsted, you could barely form a coherent sentence, and then you disappear to hang out in the parking lot with your
bestie
, Keely, and your boyfriend, Matt.”

“Wait, I …
she
… was in the guidance office?” I grabbed Adam’s wrist, then he angrily yanked it away.

“This is what’s killing me!” Adam exclaimed. “Your whole innocent act. I mean, you’re skipping school because you have exhaustion or whatever, you act like an idiot at the interview and today in the office, and now you’re an Ainsworth finalist. Freaking awesome. Hayley Westin wins again.” Adam sounded like a stranger — an
angry
stranger.

“You don’t understand,” I said helplessly.

“Right. Just like no one understood that the Facebook page wasn’t you. Or the screwed-up bio wasn’t you. Jeez, Hayley, can you
hear
yourself?” Adam shook his head in disbelief.

“Adam, I need —”

“What? A ride? A study partner? A shoulder to cry on? Pick one, Hayley. It doesn’t matter, because I’m done.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. “That’s fine.” As long as I spoke in monosyllables, I wouldn’t cry.

Adam looked straight ahead. “It’s just … you have no idea what you’re doing. Hayley, you’re so talented and so smart, and seeing you like this … I don’t like it.”

“I don’t either, Adam. I need help.” I began crying for real, one tear followed by another landing on my jeans. It was useless to cry. I knew that. But I couldn’t stop.
She
had control. And worse, she was here. Or, had been here.

“Adam, something weird is happening,” I said.

Adam snorted. “Why don’t you tell your new boyfriend?”

“Adam, seriously —” My voice was shaking.

Adam cut me off. “You know what, Hayley? I
liked
you at one point. But now, I feel like you’re just manipulating everyone to feel sorry for you. I think that you had a wild summer, the photos surfaced, and you’re making up stories and excuses as to why it couldn’t possibly be you in the pictures. It’s not fair, Hayley. And even though no one else sees through your little game, I do, and I don’t want to be part of it. Anyway, Klish told us we could take the day off. And our Ainsworth interviews are on Monday at the U at 10 a.m. In case you even want to show up for it.” He kicked the ground. “Have fun.”

With that, he turned and angrily walked off, leaving me alone in the center of the lobby.

I glanced at the trophy case. Today, the plaques bearing my name weren’t comforting. They reminded me that I was a target. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Turning on my heel, I headed down the hall toward my locker. At least I was safe here.

I opened the dented metal door, and a piece of notebook paper, folded in a complicated square, fell out. The front was covered with a map design. I opened the first flap of paper to find a block-printed question:

WHAT’S AT THE END OF THE TREASURE HUNT?

I opened the second flap and quickly read the words printed on the page.

S
ix p.m. and the sound in the gym was deafening. I couldn’t believe that my Bainbridge classmates had so much school spirit, since they certainly hadn’t used any of it for the newspaper or yearbook. I also couldn’t believe I was actually here. I tried to get inside my sister’s head. Would she expect me to follow her orders, or would she expect me to ignore them? Why a pep rally? Was she planning on meeting me? Ambushing me?

Killing me?

I spotted Keely, Ingrid, and Emily on the bleachers at the far side of the gym. I waved to them, but they didn’t see me in the sea of people. Some underclassmen bumped into my back. I whirled around, but I couldn’t tell who’d done it. Suddenly, I realized that even though the pep rally provided an illusion of safety, it’d be pretty easy to disappear without anyone noticing.

“Keely!” I shouted, my voice impossible to hear over the crowd. On the other side of the bleachers, Jess was sitting on Robbie’s lap, surrounded by a few people I recognized from Yearbook. I edged up the steps of the bleachers, elbowing my way past my classmates. I felt dizzy and disoriented, and wished I was back in my own bedroom, watching a DVD under the covers.

“Keely!” I called again. This time, she whirled around and I plastered on a smile. As far as I knew, the only way to stay alive was to stay popular.

She bounded down the bleachers and embraced me.

“This is so fun!” she squealed, ushering me toward the spot where she, Ingrid, and Emily were joined by Caleb and Will. I smiled tightly.

I poked Keely’s bicep.

“Yeah?” she asked, snapping her gum.

“So, when I was at Alyssa’s party last weekend … what was I like?”

Keely cracked her gum. “What do you mean? Normal. Fun. I don’t know. Why?”

“Just because …” I trailed off.
Because I want to see just how insane my evil twin who is impersonating me can be?
“No reason. That’s cool.”

Just then, Adam walked to the center of the gym and tapped on the microphone. Because he was the senior class president, he was expected to introduce everything.

“Hey, Bainbridge Warriors!” he yelled into the microphone. His voice cracked slightly.

“God, he’s so dorky.” Keely rolled her eyes as the crowd slowly began to quiet down. “I thought for the longest time that you and he were, like, this nerdy power couple.”

“From HIKE to yikes!” Emily cracked, glancing around for a reaction. Ingrid smiled; Keely shook her head imperceptibly.

Just then, my phone buzzed.

I whirled around, but no one was there. It was happening. She was
here
, watching me. And I was totally unprepared. It felt like the walls were closing in.

“I have to go.” I elbowed my way down the bleachers. Adam was still talking and I saw the soccer team lined up, ready to be introduced. Matt smiled at me, but I glanced away. My heart hammered in my ears. I was about to confront my sister. I could do this. We were in school. My safe place. She couldn’t hurt me.

I glanced around, reaching the bottom of the bleachers just as the entire section stood up to do the wave. Faces blurred together; the gym was hot and I was sweating; the sound of whistling and cheering and stamping was echoing in my head; and all of a sudden, I felt myself falling forward. I clutched in front of me, but grabbed nothing but air.

And then, I fell. And the last thing I remembered was silence.

“I think she fainted.”

“Is she on something?”

“Stand clear!” It was Miss Keeshan’s high-pitched voice that caused my eyes to snap open.

“I’m fine!” I protested. I shakily sat up. What had happened?

“You’re bleeding,” Miss Keeshan announced, holding a wad of tissues toward me.

“I am?” I experimentally held my hand toward my nose, surprised when I saw a red smear of blood.

“Yes. Have you been drinking?” Miss Keeshan asked, angling herself away from me so that my blood wouldn’t get on her floral-print jeans.

“No.” I shook my head. “Just … tired.”

All of a sudden, I was aware that I was still sitting in the middle of the gym, and every single Bainbridge Secondary School
student was peering curiously down at me. I could imagine how it looked: Hayley Kathryn Westin, academic superstar, bleeding and disoriented on the dirty gym floor. If my sister had set out to humiliate me, she’d succeeded. I knew that I was the one who’d fallen, but I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d somehow facilitated it. In my mind, she had taken on a godlike quality, getting into my head and twisting everything. I felt tears prick my eyes and I angrily wiped them away.

“Well, if you’re feeling all right …” Miss Keeshan stood up and offered her hand. I grabbed it, taking a shaky step forward.

“I’m fine. Perfect,” I said tightly.

“We’ll take care of her,” Keely said, her eyes wide.

“Come on,” Emily urged, slipping her arm through mine.

“I’ve got your stuff,” Ingrid announced importantly.

Together, the four of us walked out of the gym as the noise cranked back to concert level.

“We’re going to the diner,” Keely announced. “And then we’ll sleep over at Em’s. Your parents will understand, Emily,” Keely said, arching an eyebrow. “After all, Hayley almost
died
.”

“I didn’t almost die,” I said sharply.

“Well, fainted, whatever.” Keely shrugged. “The details don’t matter. What matters is that you got a ton of attention, and you looked good doing it.”

Emily nodded. “Yeah, you didn’t flash anyone or anything.”

Ingrid furrowed her brow as if deep in thought. “It was cool,” she said finally.

“But you’re still fragile,” Keely said loudly. “And that means that we’re not letting you out of our sight.”

That was the best news I’d heard all day.