B00AFPTSI0 EBOK (45 page)

“sets a terrible precedent”
:
Harry Lewis, “The Freshman Pledge,” Blogspot, August 20, 2011, http://harry-lewis.blogspot.com/2011/08/freshman-pledge.html.

making identity plans known to others
:
Peter M. Gollwitzer, Paschal Sheeran, Verena Michalski, and Andrea E. Seifert, “When Intentions Go Public: Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap?”
Psychological Science
20 (2009): 612–618.

might backfire
:
Sonya Sachdeva, Rumen Iliev, and Douglas L. Medin, “Sinning Saints and Saintly Sinners: The Paradox of Moral Self-Regulation,”
Psychological Science
20 (2009): 523–528.

attribute it to an external reason
:
C. Daniel Batson, Jay S. Coke, M. L. Jasnoski, and Michael Hanson, “Buying Kindness: Eff ect of an Extrinsic Incentive for Helping on Perceived Altruism,”
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
4 (1978): 86–91; and Ziva Kunda and Shalom H. Schwartz, “Undermining Intrinsic Moral Motivation: External Reward and Self-Presentation,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
45 (1983): 763–771.

To paraphrase the writer
:
E. M. Forster,
Aspects of the Novel
(New York: Penguin Classics, 1927/2005).

important aspect of their identities
:
Marcia A. Finkelstein, Louis A. Penner, and Michael T. Brannick, “Motive, Role Identity, and Prosocial Personality as Predictors of Volunteer Activity,”
Social Behavior and Personality
33 (2005): 403–418; Adam M. Grant and Jane E. Dutton, “Beneficiary or Benefactor: Are People More Prosocial When They Reflect on Receiving or Giving?”
Psychological Science
23 (2012): 1033–1039; and Adam M. Grant, “Giving Time, Time After Time: Work Design and Sustained Employee Participation in Corporate Volunteering,”
Academy of Management Review
37 (2012): 589–615.

Fortune
500 retail company
:
Adam M. Grant, Jane E. Dutton, and Brent D. Rosso, “Giving Commitment: Employee Support Programs and the Prosocial Sensemaking Process,”
Academy of Management Journal
51 (2008): 898–918.

Chapter 9: Out of the Shadows

Opening quote
:
Marcus Aurelius,
Meditations
(New York: Random House, 2002), trans. Gregory Hays, 55.

Derek Sorenson
:
Personal interview (January 11, 2012).

smarter negotiators
:
Bruce Barry and Raymond A. Friedman, “Bargainer Characteristics in Distributive and Integrative Negotiation,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
74 (1998): 345–359.

Sherryann Plesse
:
Personal interview (April 13, 2012).

Peter Audet
:
Personal correspondence (July 1, 2012).

Actions for Impact

top-secret mission
:
Personal interviews with Jay (April 19 and May 10, 2012) and his assistant (May 3, 2012).

job crafting
:
Amy Wrzesniewski, Justin M. Berg, Adam M. Grant, Jennifer Kurkoski, and Brian Welle, “Job Crafting in Motion: Achieving Sustainable Gains in Happiness and Performance” (working paper, 2012).

Mercer study
:
Corporate Executive Board, “Creating an Eff ective Reward and Recognition Program,” March 2006, accessed May 12, 2012, www.performancesolutions.nc.gov/motivationInitiatives/RewardsandRecognition/docs/CLC-Rewards&Recogni-tion.pdf.

Love Machine
:
Personal interview with Chris Colosi (March 20, 2012).

“One of my objectives is listening”
:
Personal interview with Jim Quigley (August 23, 2011).

GetRaised
:
Personal interview with Matt Wallaert (February 8, 2012).

ServiceSpace
:
Personal interview with Nipun Mehta (March 23, 2012).

BNI:
Personal interview with Ivan Misner (January 31, 2012).

aggressively helpful
:
The interviews about The Kindness Offensive were conducted by Laurence Lemaire and Matt Stevens with founders David Goodfellow, Benny Crane, James Hunter, and Rob Williams (March 3, 2012); and the interview with Ryan Garcia was conducted by Valentino Kim (March 20, 2012).

Start the spark
:
Wayne Baker and Cheryl Baker, “Paying It Forward: How Reciprocity Really Works and How You Can Create It in Your Organization,” University of Michigan, winter 2011, accessed May 14, 2012, http://www.bus.umich.edu/Positive/News/newsletter/2-23-11/baker-paying.html

The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of this book. To find the corresponding locations in the text of this digital version, please use the “search” function on your e-reader. Note that not all terms may be searchable.

A

Aaker, Jennifer, 183

Abrams, Jonathan, 38

Acumen Fund, 267

Advertising, Volkswagen ads, 142–46

Advice seeking, and negotiating, 150–53

Agreeableness

and giving versus taking, 191–93

neurological basis, 191–92n

traits related to, 191, 192n

Ahearn, Bud, 240

Aknin, Lara, 183

Algoe, Sara, 234

Altruism, 220–24

and common community, 224–28

and empathy, 220–22

pathological, 157–58, 170, 170n

versus egoism, 220–22

Amanatullah, Emily, 205–6

Anders, George, 106, 125

Andreessen, Marc, 31

Animals, lekking by, 34–35

Annan, Kofi, 184

Annual reports, CEO traits, recognizing from, 34–38

Architects

creativity profile of, 64–65, 68

Frank Lloyd Wright, 67–70

Arcuri, Marie, 102–3, 105

Ariely, Dan, 244

Army Man
, 66–67, 72, 77–78n, 93

Aronson, Elliot, 134, 141, 142

Ashby, Jeff, 74–75

Assertiveness problems, 201–9

glass ceiling and women, 201–3, 203–4n

otherish approach to, 205–9

Audet, Peter

empathy trap, 195–98

as giver, 18–20

trusting others, negative effect, 189–91

B

Babcock, Linda, 201–2, 205, 208

Baker, Cheryl, 239–40, 261, 268

Baker, Wayne, 34, 52–53, 239–40, 261, 268

Barkley, Charles, 109, 124

Barnes, Dane, 138–39

Barry, Bruce, 206, 252

Basketball

disappointing players, investing in, 108–12

potential talent, developing by coach, 108–11, 115–22, 124–25

Batson, C. Daniel, 220–22, 247

Bauer, Lillian

otherish approach by, 214–15

relational accounts, use of, 208–9

selfless giving, 186–87

sincerity screening by, 194, 201

Baumeister, Roy, 183

Bazeley, Percival, 79

Beal, Deron, 217–20, 222–23, 234.
See also
Freecycle

Bellé, Nicola, 167

Bennett, Byron, 79

Berg, Justin, 263

Bergeron, Diane, 187

Biden, Joe, 128

Birth order, and perspective taking, 90–91n

Blogger, 42

Bloom, Benjamin, 104–7

Bloomers, and self-fulfilling prophecy, 99–102

Bluford, Guion, Jr., 158

BNI, 60, 267

Body language, of takers, 130

Bohns, Vanessa, 241

Bondy, Filip, 118

Borowitz, Andy, 93

Bowie, Sam, 109, 111, 115, 115n, 120, 125

Bowler, Matthew, 177

Bowles, Hannah Riley, 208

Branson, Richard, 184–85

Breslin, Jimmy, 73–74

Brewer, Marilynn, 232–33

Brooks, Arthur, 182

Brooks, James L., 63

Brown, Kwame, 123–24

Buckwalter, Bucky, 121–22

Burg, Bob, 267

Burger, Jerry, 232

Burn-out, 165–73, 177–85

avoiding by giving more, 165–66, 168–71, 173

and fight or flight, 177

of givers, myth of, 165, 178–85

having impact as antidote, 161–69

social support, benefits for, 177–78

Teach for America (TFA) teachers, 160–61, 165

Burton, Robert, 87–88

Bush, George H. W., and Ken Lay, 29, 34, 45

Bush, George W., and Ken Lay, 28, 29, 34, 44–45

C

Cain, Susan, 131, 265

Callahan, Conrey

burn-out situation for, 160–62, 176–77

as chunker, 171, 174

giving more as energy source, 165–66, 168–71, 174–78

Caring Canadian Award, 156–58

Carter, Jimmy, 184

Cattell, Raymond, 104

Cerne, Matej, 78–79

Chamberlain, Wilt, 159

Chandler, Tyson, 123

Chast, Roz, 93

Chatterjee, Arijit, 35–37

Cheng, Joey, 34

Chief executive officers (CEOs), takers, traits of, 34–38

Christakis, Nicholas, 56–57

Chunking, giver satisfaction from, 170–75

Cialdini, Robert, 43, 220–22, 235–38

Clark, Margaret, 5

Classroom Economy, The, 175

Clinton, Bill, 10

Clinton, DeWitt, 14

Coach, basketball talent, recognizing, 108–11, 115–22, 124–25

Coffey, Frank, 118–19

Collaboration, 66–93

and creative character, 63–72

and crediting others, 77–93

financial analysts, team and performance, 71–72

and givers, 66–67, 72–78

idiosyncrasy credits from, 76

and matchers, 76, 78–79

and perspective taking, 86–93

and powerless speech, 147–48

and responsibility bias, 81–86

surgeons, affiliation and performance, 70

and takers, 69–70

team, benefits from givers, 74–76

Collins, Catherine, 76

Colosi, Chris, 264

Communication styles

first-person singular pronouns in, 36, 193

powerful and powerless communication, 130–54

Community

elevation and giving, 234–39

sense of and giving, 224–28, 233–34

Computer industry, takers and company performance, 36n

Conley, Chip, 16

Conservation International, 66

Consultants

as givers, 186–215

Coyle, Daniel, 104

Craigslist

development of, 216–17

versus Freecycle, 217–220, 226–28

Creativity

architect traits, study of, 64–65, 68

and collaboration, 63–72

and givers, 65–67

and takers, 65, 67–69

Crediting others, 77–93

by givers, 77–78, 83–86

lack of by takers, 79–81

perspective taking, 86–93

and responsibility bias, 81–86

Crosier, Benjamin, 38

Cross, Rob, 52–53

Crutchfield, Richard, 242

Culture

and important values, 20–21

and reciprocity patterns, 5–6n

D

Darwin, Charles, 239

De Dreu, Carsten, 213

Def Jam Records, 119–20

Dell, Michael, 41

Dichter, Sasha, 267

Dillon, Haley, 38

Dingman, Thomas, 245–46

Disagreeable persons

givers versus takers, 191–93

traits related to, 191

Disclaimers, in powerless speech, 144

Dominance

and powerful communication, 130, 133, 148

and takers, 130, 133

Dormant ties, 50–54

and givers, 51–53

reactivating, impact of, 50–51

and trust, 51

Dovidio, Jack, 226

Drexler, Clyde, 120–22, 124

Drucker, Peter, 70

Drummond, Jon, 158

Duckworth, Angela, 105–6

Duin, Steve, 116–17

Dunn, Elizabeth, 183

Dutton, Jane, 248, 262

E

Eagly, Alice, 203n

Earth to America
, 66

Eden, Dov, 97–98, 100

Edmondson, Amy, 85

Ego threat, and escalation of commitment, 113–14

Elders, The, 184

Elevation, and giving, 234–39

Elkind, Peter, 28–29

Empathy, 195–201

and altruism, 220–22

elements of, 195, 220, 222

empathy trap and givers, 195–201

versus generous tit for tat, 198–201

Encouragement, of potential in others, 102–8

Enders, John, 79, 82

Energy, gaining and giving, 175–77

Energy conservation, consumer motivations in, 236–38, 238n

Energy network map, 52–53

Engineers

as givers, 7, 58–59

social network for, 42

Enron

demise, signs of, 35

Ken Lay as taker, 27–29, 32, 35–37

Erving, Julius, 109, 115, 117, 119

Escalation of commitment, 112–17

Escoto, Kildare, 137–140

Excite, 46–48

Expedition behavior, of givers, 74–75

Extreme Kindness, 266–67

Eye Care Associates, 137

F

Facebook, takers, recognizing on, 39–41

Fairness, and matchers, 5–6, 33, 43n

Fake, Caterina, 31

Fallingwater, 68–69

Favors, expectations and takers, 44–45, 58

Feinberg, Matthew, 34

Feresten, Spike, 93

Ferrazzi, Keith, 44, 59–60

Fight or flight, 177

Financial advisers

as givers, 18–20

star analysis as collaborators, 71–72

First-person singular pronouns, use by takers, 36, 193

Fiske, Alan, 5–6n

Five-minute favor, 54–60, 264–65

Flynn, Frank, 58–59, 89, 218, 241

Forster, E. M., 248

Fowler, James, 56–57

Fraenkel, Fred, 71

Fragale, Alison, 144–45

Francis, Thomas, 79

Frank, Robert, 23, 204n

Franklin, Benjamin, 152–53

Freecycle

as common community, 224–28, 233–34

development of, 217–20

elevation and giving, 235, 238–39

free choice in, 248

optimal distinctiveness through, 233–34

as otherish, 223–24

taker and matcher giving, 222–24

Friedland, Roger, 68

Friedman, Ray, 206, 252

Friendster, 38

Frimer, Jeremy, 156

Frink, John, 86

Fritz, Heidi, 177

Furst, Stacie, 187

G

Galak, Jeff, 231

Galinsky, Adam, 197

Garbinsky, Emily, 183

Garcia, Ryan, 267

Gardner, Wendi, 179

Gasol, Paul, 123

Gates, Bill, 157

Geller, Jason

as balanced giver, 188–89

generous tit for tat by, 200

otherish approach by, 214

sincerity screening by, 194

Gender inequality, glass ceiling, 201–3, 203–4n

Generous tit for tat, 198–201

Genesys Wealth Advisers, 20

Geniuses, versus genius makers, 63

George, Bill, 168

GetRaised, 265

Gift giving, and perspective gap, 89–90

Giftivism, 266

Gill, Brendan, 68, 69

Gino, Francesca, 89, 147–48

Giver profiles

Abraham Lincoln, 10–16, 199–200

Adam Rifkin, 41–43, 46–50, 53–56

Annie, 148-53

Bill Grumbles, 135–36

C. J. Skender, 96–97, 101–2, 105–8

Conrey Callahan, 160–62, 165–66, 168–71, 174–78

David Hornik, 1–9, 17, 23–25

Derek Sorenson, 250–54

Don Lane, 143–46

Freecycle/Deron Beal, 217–20, 224–28, 233–39, 248

George Meyer, 61–67, 73–78, 83–86, 88–93

Jason Geller, 188–89, 194, 200, 214

Jon Huntsman Sr., 35–37, 179–84

Kildare Escoto, 137–40

Lillian Bauer, 186–87, 194, 201, 208–9, 214–15

Peter Audet, 18–20, 189–91, 195–98

Richard Branson, 184–85

Sherryann, Plesse, 22, 255

Stu Inman, 108–11, 115–22, 124–25

Givers, 4–26

altruism, 220–24

asking for help, avoiding, 176–77, 268

assertiveness, lack of, 201–9

burn-out myth, 165, 178–85

and collaboration, 66–67, 72–78

empathy trap, 195–201

in engineering, 7, 58–59

and escalation of commitment, 114–17

examples of.
See
Giver profiles

expedition behavior of, 74–75

in financial adviser field, 18–20

genius makers as, 63

giver quotient, assessing, 261

interdependence versus independence, 73

in medical profession, 7, 17–18

motivation of, 156–58

negative traits of, 6–7, 10

negotiation by, 148–50, 195–215

and networking, 31, 41–58

online communities for giving, 265–68

own contribution, downplaying, 81–86

pathological giving.
See
Selfless giving

perspective taking, 88–91, 92–93

in politics, 10–16

powerless communication, 130–54

productive habits of, 4–5, 8–10, 14–15, 22, 50–51, 53–56, 257–58

productivity problem of, 58–59, 155, 172–73, 186–87, 210–11

and pronoia, 48–50

psychological safety created by, 85–86

pushover effect, 189–215

reconnecting over time, 46–54

reluctance, reasons for, 22–23, 241–43, 254–55

responsibility bias, lack of, 83–86

salary, 203–4n

in sales, 137–42

and self-recognition, 254–58

in service sector, 17–20

and success, 6–10, 15–16, 156–58

success, view of, 257

takers becomin, 219–20, 245–49

takers disguised as, 27–28, 31–39

teachers as, 101–2, 106–7

trusting others, 189–94

in venture capital, 1–9, 17, 23–25

women versus men, 203–4n

in workplace, fears of, 22–23, 241–43, 254–55

Gladwell, Malcolm, 104, 191

Glass ceiling, 201–3, 203–4n

Glomb, Theresa, 75

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von, 94

Go-Giver Community, 267

Goldner, Fred, 48

Gollwitzer, Peter, 245

Goodfellow, David, 267

GOOD thirty-day challenge, 267

Goodwill, and dormant ties, 51–53

Goodwin, Doris Kearns, 15

Google, job crafting, 262–63

Gopnik, Alison, 90

Gossip, as punishment, 34

Granger, Chris, 123n

Granovetter, Mark, 47

GraphScience, 53

Green Day, 46–48

Greene, Robert, 21

Grit, and talent development, 105–6

Groening, Matt, 63

Gross, Bob, 118–19

Groupon, 39–40

Groysberg, Boris, 71

Grumbles, Bill, 135–36

H

Hagerty, Sean, 173–75

Halbesleben, Jonathan, 177

Hambrick, Donald, 35–37

Handey, Jack, 72

Happiness, 170–75, 183–84

Hartman, Phil, 73

Havlicek, John, 121

Hawthorne, Christopher, 68

Heevner, Howard, 162

Helgeson, Vicki, 170, 177

HelpOthers.org, 266

Hill, Barton, 146–47