B007P4V3G4 EBOK (47 page)

'I had been looking down for quite a while already,' she said,
'but I said nothing. I had actually wanted to throw water on to
your heads. Would you've liked that, Elmer?' she asked.

'It would've been a giggle,' I said, looking at the floor; 'it's still a
bit too cold for that' I felt uncomfortable.

We had made our way to the kitchen. 'Cold water is good for
horrid dreams,' she said. 'Werther, why don't you tell your friend
what you keep on dreaming all the time.'

Leaning with one hand on the window sill, she did a few
tripping steps. 'Come on, tell,' she urged him. 'He's a strange
laddie, isn't he? she said and grabbed Werther by his hair. 'Are
you strange like that too?' she said. At once she seized me by the
hair also and gently shook my head. I dared not make the slightest
movement.

'Well, ehm,' Werther said, 'there's a man after me all the time.
He's got a big bread knife and he wants to cut my lips in two with
it' He indicated this with his index finger using the same gesture
as the one with which you ask for silence.

'But we've been to the doctor, Werther,' his mother said. 'Yes,
Elmer,' she said, turning to me, 'we've been to the doctor with
Werther-kin. He's over sensitive. Every afternoon or evening, he
has to be washed with cold water. I'll run the bathtub ready. He's
got to be undressed completely, of course.'

At this moment Werther's sister arrived home. 'You can have a
bath together,' his mother said, 'then I won't make the water as
cold' She began to fill a large bathtub she fetched from the
veranda, running the water through a red rubber hose, and she
told Werther and Martha to get undressed.

'It's quite alright for you to join in,' she said to me. 'No, that's not
necessary,' I said. 'I had a bath only this morning.' (This wasn't true,
however.) 'You're welcome to have another one here, you know,' she
said. 'Then you lot can have a bit of a rough and tumble afterwards to
really dry off. You don't have to get dressed at once.'

She spoke with apparent indifference but in reality there was
something compelling in her voice that made me afraid. Werther
and Martha had begun to undress. They put their clothes on the
kitchen chair. It struck me that Werther undressed himself very
tardily and would look round all the time, embarrassed. His mother
urged him to hurry.

You never have to be ashamed of anything about your body,'
she said. 'It's a very ordinary thing. Elmer's having a bath with you
- or isn't he?' 'No, not now,' I said quickly, 'it's not necessary.'

'If you don't want to, you don't have to,' she went on, 'but it's
very good for you. You surely dream horrid things too sometimes,
don't you?'

'I've dreamed of a whale,' I said. I regretted this announcement
instantly and understood I quite simply should have replied in the
negative. 'But it wasn't horrid at all, quite the opposite,' I added
speedily. I considered how I might suddenly run from the house,
but didn't do this for I might trip up on the stairs. Martha, who
was already naked, declared she was cold and ran to the living
room.

Werther's mother decided that they didn't have to go into the
water at once: they were allowed to walk about undressed for a
while.

'Why don't you go and wrestle inside,' she said. 'Then I'll come
and watch to see who wins.' Werther hesitated to rid himself of his
underwear, however.

'You really don't have to hide your thingummy,' she said. 'Your
little friend has one too. Or doesn't he - what?' I nodded feebly
and searched for any word to say but failed to utter anything. I
tried to shuffle imperceptibly to the corner of the kitchen. Suddenly,
however, she approached me from behind, swung an arm round my
neck and felt with the other, over my shoulder, downwards; I could
feel her breath against my neck. I stood quite motionless: at the
slightest resistance, I knew, she would stick a thin knife or a long
needle into my neck until the marrow had been reached. It took a
few seconds before she reached the goal of her fumbling. Then she
let me go and jumped towards the window. Her face was red. Werther looked into the water in the bath. There was a moment's
silence. 'That thingummy of yours has a purpose,' she said. 'It's
there to do something with that isn't anything weird at all. Birds
do it too.'

The front door was being opened and somebody came up the
stairs. Werther's father. He looked into the kitchen but said
nothing. Then we saw him go into the living room but he left it
rapidly too, to go up the stairs. He turned back from this instantly
again, entered the kitchen and halted, standing there in silence. I
considered greeting him but dared not do this.

The man continued to stand there in silence as though he had
complex considerations he must shed light on. 'Mother,' he then
said without looking anyone in the face, 'Aunt Truus'll be coming
tomorrow to collect Martha and Werther for the little circus.' He
had uttered this sentence uncertainly, staring out through the
windows on to the veranda as he did so. Werther's mother said
nothing and didn't appear to be listening. 'Agatha,' he said. Now
she looked up all of a sudden. 'Who'll be collecting Werther and
Martha?' she asked. 'What's all this? What's it all in aid of?'

Werther, quite naked now, was standing by the veranda door. I
considered what it would be like were he to go outside and jump
off. 'He'll become a dead bird,' I thought as I regarded him. I
thought he was feeling cold.

'Agatha,' Werther's father said, 'I'm telling you this to make you
remember. When Truus comes they must be ready. So they can go
along at once.'

'So she's going with them to the circus?' she asked. 'I'm coming
too in any case, no problem.' 'Agatha,' Werther's father now said
at once, 'we were going to be home tomorrow afternoon, weren't
we? We were going to have a chat about things; we'd agreed on
that, remember? Course you do.' 'Oh,' she said, 'yes. We're home
tomorrow afternoon. That'll be nice. But if the circus is really fun, I
might go along after all: just for a little while.' She smiled and
spoke ever more quietly until she stopped, unnoticed.

Werther,' the man said, 'listen. I'm telling you this in case your
mother forgets. Both of you must stay home after lunch and not
go out getting yourselves dirty.' 'Yes,' said Werther, staring at his
father. The latter went on: 'Then Aunt Truus'll come to collect you
and she'll go with you to a kind of little circus. You'll remember
now, won't you?'

'Werther was coming over to my place tomorrow afternoon,' I now said, suddenly. 'First, I was coming to him and then he was
going to come with me.' For a moment I wasn't sure whether in
fact I had uttered the sentences.

'Well, you come along too then,' Werther's father said quickly.
Werther, he can come too.' Werther's mother was standing there
wiggling and looking with a rigid smile at the mat.

'What is it we're going to, father?' Werther now asked.

Look, Werther,' he replied, 'it's a kind of variety, a little circus
in miniature. With small animals. There's a man with a dog that
jumps through a hoop. You can stay to have supper at Aunt
Truus's. Agatha, they can have their evening meal at Truus's.'

Werther's mother, not listening apparently, began to giggle.
Suddenly, without addressing anyone in particular, she said: 'But
d'you think that's education? That's no education at all. It has
nothing to do with anything.' She continued to stand there.

Werther, go and get yourself dressed, there's a good lad,' his father
said. Why not go inside. Take your clothes along with you to the
stove.' Werther disappeared. I would have liked to have followed
him but didn't dare. The three of us remained. Werther's mother
began to hum.

Don't you have to go home yet, lad?' his father asked me. 'Yes, I
really ought to,' I said, sniggering to save face. With a hand to the
back of my head he pushed me out of the kitchen and closed the door
behind us. Without real force yet inescapably he drove me along. We
reached the landing. 'Best be off quickly now,' he said, 'or you'll be
late.' He didn't look at me. I stepped on to the first stair. 'Sir,' I asked,
'what time must I be here tomorrow afternoon. Didn't you say I
could come too?' I thought it possible that, with a kick, perhaps
even against my head, he would make me plummet down. He
hesitated a moment and then said that I had to come at two
o'clock. What's your name?' he asked. I gave my name, said
goodbye and rushed downstairs, for I was afraid that he would go
and look for that brochure.

At home, I told about the invitation. We're going with an aunt
of Werther's to the little circus,' I said. What kind of circus?' my
mother asked. 'It's a circus in miniature,' I said, 'a kind of variety
with lots of small animals. With monkeys and rabbits. There're
dogs as well that go through a hoop.' 'You haven't asked that aunt
whether you could come too, have you?' she asked, worried.
'Course not at all,' I said. 'That aunt wasn't even there at his place.
They themselves said I should come along.'

The following afternoon she gave me 35 cents in a wrapper.
'You must give that to that aunt,' she said. 'You don't need to go
along at those people's expense: I felt through the paper that they
were a 25 and a 10 cents piece.

When I rang the bell of Werther's house at ten to two, his father
answered the door. 'I'm Elmer,' I said, 'I'm coming along this
afternoon.' 'Would you mind waiting downstairs for now?' he
asked.

It took a very long time. From time to time I thought they had
left already. 'How's it possible his father's home in the daytime7' I
thought. At last Werther and his sister came out. They were
accompanied by a woman who resembled Werther's mother
slightly but she was younger. She did have the same little eyes but
she had an ordinary mouth and wore her hair in a bun. I wanted to
shake hands with her but wasn't given the chance.

'We're late, kids,' she said, 'let's be off.' There was a strong wind
and it was raining. On the way to the bus stop we were heading
into the wind so there was no talking. When we were sitting in the
bus, the aunt said to me: 'So you're friend Elmer? How nice you're
coming with us.' I was already holding my hand out a little to pass
the money to her when the bus started off. We said nothing
during the ride. Werther's aunt offered peppermints round regularly.

We got out at the terminus and walked to a tram stop. The
weather had turned dry. Beneath the glass shelter of the stop it
was quiet. Werther and his sister had taken a seat on either side of
their aunt on the narrow bench. I ambled up and down in their
vicinity. They were talking softly. 'Yes,' Werther's aunt said, 'I'm
coming to live with you for a while. D'you like that?' I listened.

'Mum's nervous,' she went on, 'perhaps you've noticed that too.
People get like that when they're very tired. I'm coming to you to
help out a bit.'

'You really don't need to think it horrid or to have a shock
should mum happen to say something you don t understand at all,'
she continued. 'You see, she's tired and then thoughts get mixed
up. You know what I mean: you ask something and she answers
something quite different than you mean.'

'Yes,' Werther said, half whispering. He let his gaze flit to and fro,
restlessly. I prepared handing over the money but the tram was
approaching so I didn't get down to it.

Our journey's destination turned out to be a low, cafe-like building bearing the name 'Arena' in neon lights. I couldn't imagine
a circus being there for there was no need to pay even at the
entrance. I thought of drawing Werther's aunt's attention to this
but she escorted us into the revolving door with such certainty
that I just had to assume she knew the way.

We reached a low, elongated hall with its chairs not arranged in
rows like in a theatre or cinema, however, but clustered around
tables. There were some thirty or forty people inside, drinking or
eating something and watching the stage which had been half built
out into the auditorium. On it stood a man with a fearsome face.
His head seemed big, his hair stood straight up on end and he was
looking at the tip of his nose. He had turned the toes of his shoes
towards one another. Bright, coloured beams of light shone down
on him. He was silent and appeared to be waiting. People giggled.
Just as we were sitting ourselves down at a table the music of an
orchestra struck up and the man sang in an awkward, drawling
voice: 'I'm the goofy, I'm the simple, I'm the nitwit Jopie!' He held
his mouth as if he was vomiting.

It turned out to have been the final line to a number, for the
curtain fell and people clapped. Of the four of us, only Martha
laughed.

I studied the price list on the table. The cheapest item was
lemonade which cost fifty-five cents. It gave me a shock and I
wanted to put the paper away but Werther's aunt had already seen
me reading it and asked whether I would like something. 'No, not
at all,' I said quickly. Meanwhile the curtain rose for a new act. It
seemed to be a kind of play; I didn't understand it. It began as
follows: in a room with a screen and a desk, two men in white
coats were waiting. Thin rubber tubes dangled from their pockets.
'A doctor's life's a hard one,' one said. 'Never ever a nice bit of
totty at surgery time,' the other said.

Werther's aunt signalled the waiter and asked him for a programme but there wasn't one. 'It goes on all the time and each
time there'll be something different,' he replied. Werther's aunt
ordered a coffee for herself and lemonade for the three of us.

The play continued. A fat lady entered with a girl, presumably
her daughter. She wished to be examined and undressed herself
behind the screen. She came out from behind it a few times to look
out to the left and the right. She had taken off more clothes each
time, clothes she had hung out over the screen from the inside.
Every time she appeared, people laughed loudly. The girl stood looking at the floor with her fingers in her mouth. 'Can you play
mummies and daddies?' one of the doctors asked. 'How does that
go?' the girl asked in a stupid, petulant tone of voice. The people
at the tables laughed.