AZU-1: Lifehack (22 page)

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Authors: Joseph Picard

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...hmm. Interesting.” Kris
leaned back, her midriff showing. Oh good lord, that was Regan’s
move. It just got worse and worse. Regan didn’t need to go to a
funny farm, they were already in one.

Then, a timely mixed blessing. The
situation was disrupted by a comm call. Zombies had been spotted
outside the city of Hatre. It was time to go.

~~~~~

Chapter 31: Something
Different

~~~~~

Alisia stood by the airlimb bay door,
watching the urban sprawl pass below. How many lives met her eyes
as she flew past? Thousands. Each with their own stories, their own
lives. Each one the center of a grand story, that was the sum of
their experiences on this earth.

Each one was a vulnerable
target.

It hadn’t taken long. Even if it seemed
inevitable that zombies would pop up somewhere again, Alisia hoped
that the world would at least give her a little time off. Alisia
closed the door and headed toward the airlimb’s little mess, where
Regan was found doing nothing in particular, sitting at the
table.


Hey Regan.” Alisia said,
nearly in a sigh. Regan smiled softly, feeling encouraged that
Alisia had greeted her first. Sometimes Regan had a bit of
difficulty starting conversation with Alisia. Regan found herself
doubting herself, wondering what she could say that would be the
appropriate balance of affection and respect. These were not the
kind of cautious thoughts Regan was used to.

After a moment she decided that it was
too late to say anything, and just maintained her smile as Alisia
sat down across from her.


So,” Alisia said, tapping a
finger twice on the table, “Records show your birthday quickly
approaching.” Regan silently continued her soft smile and obsessed
over the green in Alisia’s eyes, and the light spread of freckles
found just below.


What would you like for
your birthday?” Alisia asked. Regan smirked and raised an
eyebrow.


Besides that.” Alisia
couldn’t help but crack a bit of a smile herself. Regan was nothing
if not persistent. And not that Alisia would ever admit it, but it
was still just as flattering. Regan thought for a moment. Coming up
with nothing else she wanted, she gave a casual shrug, never
breaking her gaze into Alisia’s eyes. Alisia looked back. “You’re
being awfully quiet. Something up?”

Regan leaned forward and took Alisia’s
gloved hand, now affixing her gaze there. She took the glove off of
her and touched her skin. “Alisia,” she said in a dream-like voice,
“You don’t know what you put me through.”

Alisia cocked back, reclaiming her
hand. “What I put you through?” She knew very well. Regan wore her
heart on her sleeve. And everywhere else for that matter. It made
Alisia feel very guilty. No, not guilty. Responsible. Maybe both.
Maybe something else.

Their comms popped to life and Captain
Kris Taylor’s voice reached them. “Major? Everyone? We’re about
five minutes out from the target area. Local police are on scene
and they only see one zombie. Two civilians down, but the area is
contained.” Regan ground her teeth at the sound of Kris’s
voice.

Alisia spoke to the comm nestled in her
ear. “Check, Captain. Parker, you ready?”

Sergeant Robert Parker’s voice
manifested. “Roger, Major.”

Alisia stood, preparing to go arm
herself. Regan slowly followed. “You’d think the cops could handle
one freakin’ zombie. We could be somewhere getting a tan or
something.”

The ‘or something’ carried extra
suggestion in her voice, but such subtleties now just rolled off
Alisia’s back. “Well, they don’t have all the information. We’d
rather handle it ourselves rather than risk further infection.
They’re just following the procedure that I myself
wrote.”

The actual information bored Regan to
tears, but the way Alisia spoke about it was entertainment enough.
When the job was on, Alisia got very... ‘professional’ sounding.
Commanding. It was something Regan marveled at. Regan was well
versed at being bossy, but Alisia was by contrast, a
leader.

As Alisia opened an arms locker, Regan
latched onto her arm affectionately. Alisia froze, and turned her
head to Regan. “Not now.” She said dryly.

Regan gave a last little squeeze, then
let go. “Later?” Hope springs eternal, after all. “No.” Alisia
responded as coldly as she could muster.

The airlimb slowed as it approached an
industrial and warehouse complex. Police cars were seen surrounding
the back and front of one of the bays, a typical two floor
warehouse/office facility. “Kris,” Alisia spoke into her comm,
opening the bay door again, “What do you think about
landing?”


Eh...” Kris mulled, “Yeah,
alright. But I’m going to have to drop you almost half a block out
if we don’t wanna cook the cops with the jetwash.”


I think we can manage a
walk.”


Roger.”

Alisia and Regan hopped out as soon as
they neared the ground. Regan followed Alisia’s example and jogged
with her towards the target building.


Kris,” Alisia comm’ed up,
“Get up and put Parker in position to fire onto the back of the
building. Be ready to bring him out front if I say so. Parker? You
know your job.”

Parker aimed his bulky zipper gun down,
and brought up the VTags on Alisia and Regan in its scope so he
could track their locations.


Tag ladies, you’re it.”
Parker’s playfulness earned him a playful middle finger from
Regan.

Alisia walked over to the police line.
“Who’s head of this mess?”

The police chief stepped forward. “You
are now, ma’am.”


Alright. You’re sure no
one’s come out?”


Not since we got here. Not
unless they dug a tunnel.”


Checked the
blueprints?”


No sewer access or anything
like that.”


Good. Tell your people to
keep on their toes. If a zombie does come out, feel free to shred
it, but keep your distance even after it’s down.” Alisia changed to
a yelling voice as she stepped back, looking to all the other
officers. “Be damned sure to check your targets first! Zombies
don’t move fast, so it’s not like they’re going to run up to you
before you can get a good look! Neither of us need an ass full of
lead! Got it?”

The police chief replied, “Of course,
ma’am.”


I’m not talking to you,
chief,” Alisia said with a smile, then going back to yelling. “I
was talking to all you holding the guns! Did you GET
that?”

Shouts came out in the affirmative.
Alisia turned back to the building and saw Regan chomping on the
bit. They readied their P90s and approached opposite corners. They
peeked into the widows from all angles as they met by the
doors.


All clear?” “Yeah.” They
opened the front doors and headed in. To the police, this was a
little strange. Their training would indicate a much more
aggressive entrance, but zombies don’t carry guns, so going in with
a careful eye was more important than going in with quick aim. The
front office was as wide as the bay, and about seven meters long. A
smattering of blood was seen on the back wall behind a desk. The
door in the back corner hung open lazily, also showing traces of
blood at hand height.

Regan approached the desk by way of the
side wall while Alisia kept an eye on her, and the door.

Regan made it behind the desk to find a
young woman on the floor. Most of her skull was caved in, and her
long blonde hair was matted with it. There were a few ragged gashes
in her side as well. The blood on the floor and wall mimicked the
patterns one might expect a child to leave around a mud
puddle.


Yeah, she’s good and dead.”
Regan said with revulsion and pity. This was the first fresh zombie
kill she had seen in a long time, and it hadn’t gotten any
prettier.


Burn the wounds.” Alisia
said. “We’ll pull her out after.” Regan pulled out a flask, doused
the wounds, lit it, and let them burn out. “Did I do it right?”
Regan asked. “Looked OK. Let’s go.”

They entered the back door and found a
narrow stairway up, another door, and an open path to the large
back area. Small traces of blood were seen on the
stairs.


Keep an eye on the stairs,”
Alisia said, “I’m just going to secure the bottom. You see
anything, yell.”


You too.” Regan’s voice
betrayed her worry for Alisia wandering alone.

Alisia quickly opened the door to find
a dingy little washroom. Nothing unusual for a poorly kept
bathroom. She walked slowly into the back area. There were
cardboard boxes everywhere, stacked neatly. No blood or damage was
to be seen. Alisia made it through to the back door and yelled out
to the cops in the back parking area. “Lower floor secure. Goin’
up.”

Alisia met back with Regan and took
point as they edged up the stairs. They were narrow, steep and
creaky. Stable enough for use, but surely not up to code. The side
walls made of press-wood seemed to consciously surround them, but
holding out her hand for support quickly made Regan reconsider.
They seemed to be fastened with all the strength of thumb
tacks.

They emerged into the upper office,
roughly the same size as the one below. It was the only room on the
second floor and was a clutter of office paraphernalia. In the
middle of the floor was a fresh body. The chest cavity had been
opened and the contents were arranged ‘neatly’ around it. There was
enough damage to the rest of the body that they could not even tell
the gender.

Across the room, someone was sitting at
a computer facing away from them. The hair and clothing were messy,
but this was secondary to the soaking of blood.


Hey asshole!” Regan called
out to him. He turned around in his chair. He moved like a human
but the sagging and colour of the skin made it clear that this was
a zombie. It was a rather fresh zombie. It still looked mostly
human. One like this hadn’t been seen in a long time.

It looked at them with a spark of
intelligence, and then turned back to the computer to make a few
quick keystrokes.


What the hell is going on?”
Alisia growled. The zombie turned back towards them, as the spark
of intelligence faded. It lunged at them sluggishly, moaning.
“That’s, uh.. that’s better.” Regan commented, “Stupid
thing.”

It stumbled on the body as it came
towards them. Alisia opened fire and cut out its knees. If fell to
the ground but continued to claw towards them slowly. The girls
walked around it as it floundered helplessly to get at them. Alisia
looked at the computer screen it was working on. “It’s a nanite
server. Running solo though, not like the networked ones in Autar.”
Feeling experimental, Alisia reached for the back of the computer,
and finding the power cord, yanked it out.

The computer fizzled out, and
simultaneously the wounded zombie fell limp and
unmoving.

~~~~~

Chapter 32: Poor Parker

~~~~~

Three hours later, after taking a lot
of photos and collecting evidence, the scene was turned over to the
disease control people, and all were back aboard the airlimb. The
main bay was now host to three sealed body canisters. Two human
victims, one ex-human. The salvaged computer was there as
well.

After setting course and doing all the
little things that needed doing, Kris put the airlimb on auto and
turned her chair towards Parker, who had idly watched her work the
airlimb’s systems. Having decided to hold off discussing the day’s
action until the meeting, conversation had somehow gravitated
towards social affairs.


So, you’re saying you’re
persecuted as a straight male. Poor baby.”


I’m serious!” Parker
snapped, “Here I am, assigned to this tin can with Alisa and Regan,
and their little tension war, and then here you come along,
perfectly happy with the title of an ‘evil slut’, all of you
friggin hot, I might add. If I happen to get a little distracted I
get labeled a pervert!”


Boo. Hoo.” Kris said,
grinning. It was fun to egg him on. He was an open book. And he
considered her hot. Useful data, but in Kris’s mind… who in their
right mind wouldn’t? “You are a pervert, so?”


Shut up! You are a pervert.
Regan is a pervert. Alisia and I are the only normal people in this
unit!”

Kris raised her eyebrow. Her coy smile
disappeared. “What, because you’re straight?” She hadn’t
encountered gay discrimination for a long time, and if she had to
tear this little boy a new one in the cause of re-educating him,
she was well prepared to do so.


No, it’s because me and
Alisia don’t throw it all around! We wear clothes! Properly!” He
pointed at the garter belt showing beneath Kris’s skirt, and the
open buttons on her blouse showing bits of her black
bra.

Well, that was different. Kris was
quite happy to hear that she was rattling this poor boy. “Well,
nothing says you can’t dress more revealing.” She said, grinning
with bedroom eyes.

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