Awoken (The Lucidites Book 1) (34 page)

“But you could get hurt and then what good will come of that?” I’m desperate, looking from Joseph to Trey.

“What if he is one layer away, but still close?” Shuman offers.

“No!” I plead again.

“But it could work,” Trey says, pondering the idea for a moment. “Aiden, you’ve been measuring their energy fields since they arrived at the Institute, right? Will that be sufficient to provide Roya with the power she needs, if Joseph is one layer away?”

Heat rises to my head and I clench my eyes shut, unwilling to look at Aiden. It’s bad enough he knew about my long-lost twin since the beginning, but that he’s been watching our energy patterns makes my chest burn. How much of this damn ball of yarn will have to unravel before I know all the secrets?

“I think that should be enough,” the Head Scientist says. “When Roya has been dream tracking, the energy field remains strong until she moves into the third layer. At that point the whole thing disintegrates.” He turns and looks at me, professionalism masking every part of him I know as true. “Unfortunately, we can’t test this because it’s too risky to have you two travel together. The few times you have, all sorts of alarms have gone off.” The scientist focuses on Joseph. “Try to stay only one layer behind her. If you get more than two then she’ll lose considerable power.”

“You got it,” Joseph says.

“No,” I say a bit quieter this time.

“Stark, I’ll be a whole layer away,” Joseph reassures.

I don’t like any of this. There are about a dozen things in the last ten minutes that have set me off. I’m about to face death and now I’ll be taking my brother down with me. I cover my face with my hands, wishing everyone would stop staring at me. My mind searches for an alternative, but there isn’t one.

I look straight into Joseph’s mossy green eyes. I can’t stand to look at anyone else at this point. The gold that flecks his eyes creates a depth.
Are my eyes like his?
It’s strange to look at another and see yourself and then also so much more. I see love and it fills me with the yearning to protect. I see my friend, my brother, and a person I never knew I wanted to be connected to. That’s why I finally say it, because I know if Zhuang’s reign doesn’t end then there won’t be a Joseph left to love. There will be nothing.

“Fine,” I say.

“And if you need anything, I’m only a layer away.” Joseph grins.

Chapter Forty-One

T
he clothes I wore when I arrived at the Institute fit the same, but I’m a completely different person. I chose the faded jeans and white shirt over the option of the custom Gore-Tex suit Trey offered to have made for me. When I die I want to be in my own clothes. I wrap the peacock headdress around my head and tie the leather band at the base of my hairline. A few bobby pins make me feel confident that it will stay securely in place. The last thing I’d want is to show up to meet Zhuang with my headdress askew. First impressions are everything.

I lace my fingers around my bracelet. Maybe I’m imagining it, but I think I feel my pulse racing through the layer of silver and copper.

The new upgraded camera is even smaller than the version I’d been practicing with. I take the pin and attach it to the fabric on my shoulder. Then I grab the earpiece and secure it on my head. Even with all the extra equipment I still feel naked without the frequency adjuster around my neck. It was decided that it should be in a less conspicuous place, my jean pocket.

The elevator is extra cold when it delivers me to the fifth level. I’m confident I’ve done as good a job as possible mentally preparing myself. If Zhuang materialized in front of me right now I’m certain I could face him. Maybe I couldn’t defeat him, but I could face him. I might even get in a blow or two before he pummeled me to bits.

The elevator doors open to a subtly somber Aiden. In one instant, all of my preparations that morning, all of the work I’ve done meditating, focusing, preparing…gone. His penetrating stare makes me crumble into a thousand pieces. My knees buckle like they’re suddenly made of play-dough. My chest, like I swallowed a beehive, hums nervously. I disembark from the elevator and he steps closer. If he was George he would know that his presence makes me crazy, makes me weak. All things I can’t be right now. But he isn’t and so he takes one more step forward.

Please, please, please stay away.

“I just needed to give you this.” He withdraws a crinkled piece of paper from his pocket. “It’s the list of GAD-C locations.”

My hand reaches out, but Aiden yanks the paper back when I’ve nearly clutched it.

I lift my gaze to his. “Roya, I know you can do this.”

“I know I have to do this.” I chew on the words bitterly. “I don’t know that I can.”

“I know you can do this,” he repeats. “You can defeat
him
.”

Him
. The word hangs in the air like mold.

“You want to believe I can do this,” I say.

“You’re right.” Aiden exhales. “I do want to believe you can do this, because if you lose—”

“Then we all get sucked into Zhuang’s super-consciousness,” I finish his sentence.

“Perhaps,” he says and almost laughs. “But I know for certain that if you lose, I lose you.” He opens his mouth and it hangs open a second, two seconds, three. Finally he says, “It’s not like you’re mine, that’s not what I’m implying. I just can’t imagine never seeing you again.” He looks lost. Grave. Halfway to defeat.

I bite my lip and taste blood. He pushes a bit of my hair from my face. The craziness I’d been avoiding unravels in my stomach and begins snaking its way through my bloodstream.

I have zero idea how to respond. His words make me hurt. Make me want to resign from my position as challenger. I don’t care if the entire world goes down in flames, I want to stay by Aiden’s side just so he doesn’t feel lost. This temptation races across my mind before I catch up with myself. I wrench away from him and regret follows. Not being close to him is cold and desolate, and also the only way to maintain sanity.

I straighten and stare into Aiden’s glistening sapphire eyes. I once read all blue-eyed people are descended from a single individual. A strange bit of gratitude flows from my heart for this ancient ancestor of Aiden’s who gifted him with his piercing, thoughtful eyes. They haven’t wavered in all this time, although mine surely have.

“You know I can’t do this right now,” I say, gesturing between the two of us.

“I know,” he says.

“I have to remain focused and not get distracted because…” I force my eyes to fall to the ground, knowing in one more moment I’ll give in to him. I know one more stare from him and I’ll throw myself into his arms, erasing all the boundaries I’ve carefully placed between us.

“Because you have a mission to do,” Aiden says, completing my sentence. “And you will,” he states matter-of-factly. “And I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He thrusts the paper into my hand, closing his fingers around mine. With a tender squeeze he says, “Give him hell.”

I force a smile. “I’ll do my best.” Then I turn and tread down the hall and into the infirmary.

♦

Six beds line one wall of the infirmary. Whitney and George are already laid out with various wires snaking between them and machines beside their beds.

The lady with the wavy brown hair in purple scrubs bustles around checking to make sure things are fastened properly. With a flick of her head she indicates that I should take the bed on the far end of the room. I do, willing myself not to throw up. I trudge to my bed and by the time I’ve sat down, everyone else has arrived. The lady places a receiver on my fingertip. She’s about to attach sensors on my head when I stop her.

“No,” I say forcibly.

“But I’m supposed to,” she protests.

“Doesn’t matter. I said no.”

A dozen wrinkles appear around her mouth when she purses her lips. With a shake of her head she moves away in a flurry.

From the corner of my eye, I spot Trey watching me on the other side of the room. My instinct tells me he wants to approach, but also senses I’m not in the mood for a pep talk or anything else he can offer. He stares at me with a nervous expression until his eyes dart to Joseph, who takes the bed beside mine. We’re all just acquired assets that can secure the safety of Trey’s precious Institute. That much is obvious to me now, but that’s all right because I’m fighting for the Lucidites, not him.

Joseph allows the lady in lavender scrubs to hook him up and then reclines. Once our eyes meet, I shut mine. Somewhere in the forefront of my consciousness I hear him say, “Let’s go blow some shit up.”

A laugh escapes my mouth as I spiral through the first silver tunnel. The wind blasting me in the face is chilly and thin. I suck it in, and it mixes with my adrenaline. Six rapid turns, multiple lengths of seemingly identical tunnels, and a whirl of emotions precede my first stop. A small, cramped apartment. One by one I watch my team members dissolve the darkness into matter. When I spy a person almost as short as me materialize I step forward.

“I believe this is your stop,” I say. “The next time I see you won’t be so ideal.” My voice sounds wounded. I take a quick swallow. “Thanks in advance.”

Whitney places a warm hand on my arm and affection radiates through me. “Roya, if I may offer you one piece of advice, it would be something I’ve learned since joining this team.” Her nose wiggles and then she says, “Believe in yourself first and then act. Don’t expect it to happen the other way around.”

I nod, acknowledging her words and vaulting them away. I close my eyes, feeling the tug inside my core as my ethereal body travels. We drop off Samara and then Trent. Each person’s location is a small, dark room in a random building in a random city.

Upon arriving in George’s tiny, musty room he flashes a look at Joseph. My brother narrows his eyes and doesn’t offer us the least bit of privacy. George struggles with his words. I know he wants to say something, but instead he holds onto his edge. It wraps itself around his chin making him appear cold. He’s preparing himself to lose me. Already I’m dead in his mind. He holds up his large hand and waves. I chew on my lip and disappear.

“This is it,” I say to Joseph once we land in another nondescript room. “I’m going to be moving fast. If you can’t keep up—”

“I’ll keep up,” he interrupts.

“Fine.”

Joseph steps forward and hugs me. I bury my chin into his shoulder and press my eyelids together. When he pulls back, there’s a look in his eyes I’ve rarely seen him wear. Seriousness. It doesn’t stay long. A second later he covers it up with a small grin.

“I have a confession,’’ he says.

I roll my eyes and suppress a nervous giggle.

“I used to think it was bullshit that you, a scrawny little nerd, was picked as the challenger,” Joseph says in an exaggerated tone.

“Believe me, I don’t get it either,” I agree.

“I mean,” he goes on, “I’ve never even seen you eat meat, which kind of makes you seem wimpy and liberal. No offense.”

“Going to have to work harder than that to offend me,” I say.

“Thing is, I kept thinking I was tougher than you, stronger. I’ve known a long time my role was to assist you by loaning my energy in battle, but it didn’t mean I haven’t struggled with it. It’s not like I envied your role as the challenger, I just didn’t understand how you were the deadliest person the Lucidites could put up against Zhuang.”

“Seriously, Joseph, get to the point,” I spout as I fidget with my hands.

“Point is, I thought it took strength to defeat Zhuang, but I was wrong. There’s no way to be stronger than him. The reason you’re the challenger is ’cause you have the one thing that can destroy him, something all of the rest of us lack.”

“A thorough knowledge of British literature?” I ask.

“If boring Zhuang to death is part of the strategy then that might work,” Joseph says. “No, your greatest asset, the one trait you can use to overpower him, is your passion.”

“Ummm, that doesn’t even make sense,” I argue.

“Sure it does,” he says, like we’re debating the color of the sky. “You can be so calculated and focused, which, don’t get me wrong is a lethal mixture, but when you let your passion overtake you, it’s like you become a monster. You’re unstoppable.”

“So you think I’m the challenger because I’m a hormonal teenager?”

Joseph rolls his eyes. “I think you’re the challenger because you’re talented. But more importantly, you use your emotions to drive you, instead of allowin’ them to distract you.”

It’s reaffirming to hear this at the eleventh hour, but what good will it do me?

“I know now you’re the perfect challenger,” Joseph says. “Zhuang will expect his strength to be tested, for strategy to be a part of the fight, for you to rely on intuitive abilities to aid you in battle.” He holds up one finger. “But that greedy son of a bitch won’t expect your tenacious spirit to be a threat.”

Heat rises in my head from his words and the realization that the team and the Head Officials are all spying on our conversation. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I finally say.

“That’s all I wanted to say.” Joseph hesitates and then adds, “In case I don’t get ‘nother chance.”

I nod. I swallow. I force a smile on my mouth. “I better get going.”

“You better,” Joseph sings.

This is it. There’s no turning back. I close my eyes and focus.

“Oh and li’l sis,” Joseph says, pulling me from my reverie.

“What?” I bite at him, only half annoyed.

“When the time comes”—he sucks in a long breath before continuing—“take every bit of energy from me that you need to defeat him. It’s all yours.” He gives a triumphant smile.

“Maybe it won’t come to that,” I half whisper.

“Well, if it does, then you’ll have one less obstacle, knowing I gave my full permission.”

I clench my jaw and push back a lump in my throat the size of Montana. “Got it.” My eyes say my goodbyes as the rest of me remains frozen and contained.

“See you ‘round, Stark,” Joseph says in my ear as I spiral through the grayness. The tunnel narrows right before it turns. My headdress catches the wind. All my effort and training are about to be tested and broadcast for my team and the Institute to witness. A violent flash assaults me at the same time as this realization. In it Trey, Ren, Shuman, Aiden, and my team watch Zhuang deliver the last blow that kills me. My breath catches in my throat and I can’t will it to continue its path for a long few seconds.