Awkward (14 page)

I was pathetically close to tears.

“Mom,” I said slowly. “Everything would be different if it weren’t for me. If I hadn’t tripped at that stupid ballet recital, then you wouldn’t have found out dad was cheating. He still might be here right now. He might not have left us… .”

My mom’s fingers dug painfully into my shoulders as they clenched.

“If you hadn’t tripped at that ballet recital I might not have found out … then. I hope I’d have figured it out eventually. It wouldn’t change who he is, sweetheart. I’m
glad
you fell when you did.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “You are?”

“Yes!” She laughed. “It forced me to look at my marriage. And if I could go back in time, I still wouldn’t change anything. I got you and Dylan out of that mess—and you guys are the very best things that’ve ever happened to me.”

I felt the tears sliding down my face now, slowly but steadily, and I made no move to swipe them away.

“No regrets?”

“None.” She ruffled my hair. “Why don’t you take a shower while I raid your closet. Then I’ll give you a ride to school.”

I smiled at her. “Love you, Mom.”

“Oh, sweetie,” she said. “I love you right back.”

I
made it to school in time for lunch. My mom had made me model a few more of my new outfits for her while she picked out a few dresses she thoughtfully offered to store in her closet for a while. It was fun doing our girl bonding stuff. Especially when my mom took out some of my new nail polish and insisted we give each other pedicures as well as manicures. I could tell our dad conversation was still playing in her mind, but she didn’t mention it.

“Oh, honey!” she said, when I finally emerged from my room in my Forever 21 jeans and bebe top and we headed toward the car. “You look wonderful!”

“Thanks, for all of this, Mom. Talk included. Although I don’t think you should ever turn off my alarm clock again.”

“Deal.” She slid smoothly into the driver’s seat.

“So … did you have to miss work today for this?”

“Nope.” She signaled at the light. “My shift on Friday doesn’t start until three, remember?”

I hadn’t, and it was a relief to hear. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about her, but I can’t help it. That’s the way I’m built.

“Do you have any plans for tonight?”

“I have to tutor Logan, then probably catch up on the classes I missed.”

She grinned. “I’d have left you at home but you’d panic over skipping a whole day.”

I nodded. “I’m nervous about lecture notes as it is. Guess that makes me neurotic and obsessive.”

“What it makes you,” my mom said firmly, “is dedicated.” She pulled up to the school. “Just let me know if your plans change.”

“Will do.” I headed straight for the cafeteria to find Corey and Jane.

What I didn’t expect was to find my two best friends telling a larger group of freshmen girls about the ReadySet concert. Melanie and Rachel were there with some of their friends. Our table actually looked way more exciting than the Notables’. Something Chelsea Halloway probably didn’t appreciate.

My entrance caused a reaction that rippled through the entire cafeteria.

“Mackenzie! We were just talking about the concert last night.” Melanie scooted to make room for me. “There’s a video of you singing on YouTube. It sounds terrific!”

Great. Another video of me on YouTube was just what I needed.

“Thanks,” I said instead. I didn’t think she was just sucking up because I was famous. Then again, what did I know about that stuff? Maybe all of them were hoping I could score them designer bags.

I didn’t have to say anything else, because that’s when something unprecedented happened in the Smith High School cafeteria.

Chelsea stood up—flanked by Fake, Bake, and Patrick—and crossed the room to stand before the Invisible table. It felt like a well-planned chess move: Queen to K2.

“Hey, Mackenzie!” she said, like we were best friends who shared everything from lip gloss to gossip.

“Uh, hi.” I tried to encompass all four of them with this greeting. Patrick was looking at me intensely, like he was trying to memorize my every feature so I’d be burned into his memory. My heart sped up and my cheeks flushed even as I told my inner romantic that Patrick wasn’t realizing how perfect we’d be together at
THAT
EXACT
MOMENT!

“I have to head out soon.” Chelsea waved her hand elegantly as if I’d asked her to stay and she had to regally decline. “But I just love your new outfit!”

“Totally adorable,” added Fake in a voice that sounded completely, well, fake.

I barely resisted the urge to nervously tug at my top. Rule number one of combat: show no weakness.

“Thanks.” I hoped people would stop complimenting me so that I could just enjoy some friendly conversation. “You guys look great too.” I stopped myself before adding, “as usual.”

“Oh.” Chelsea giggled and tossed her long silky hair back. “That’s sweet of you. So will we be seeing you at Spencer’s party tonight? He mentioned something about inviting you.”

I barely kept myself from staring at her openmouthed.

“Uh, I didn’t hear anything about it.”

“Well, you’ve been too busy with celebrities.” She let out another one of her perfect little giggles that made my skin crawl. “Tonight at nine, okay?” She didn’t wait for me to say anything in response. “Great! See you then.”

Fake and Bake swirled out of the cafeteria with her and left me at a silent table with the boy I’ve been crushing on since, I don’t know … FOREVER!

“Want to join us?” I asked Patrick awkwardly.

He brushed his soft-looking, dirty blond bangs out of his warm chocolate eyes and sat right down next to me.

“Of course,” he murmured. I turned to Corey and Jane in an attempt to get my hormones under control.

“So.” Corey broke the awkward silence that had descended. “Who thinks that was an open invitation or for Mackenzie only?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course it wasn’t just for me. It’d be too rude to invite only me in front of other people. You guys must be included.” I turned to Patrick for confirmation. “Right?”

“Erm.” He looked like I’d just asked him about India’s biggest export (textiles). “Spencer throws big parties, so, uh … no one will notice.”

Not exactly the warm invitation I’d expected. In fact it smacked of “Invisibles will be tolerated if they stay Invisible.” But I guess it was enough to get Melanie, Rachel, and the other girls excited. They instantly began debating what outfit a social event like this required.

I looked at Jane and Corey. “You guys will go with me, right?”

Jane stared at me like I’d lost my mind. “Sure. I’ll just take a jet to France while I’m at it! Going to a concert one night and a party the next won’t get in the way of my studying or my job or anything.” Jane’s even stricter about stuff like that than I am.

Corey just shrugged. “Works for me.”

Out of the three of us, Corey’s always had the most freedom to do whatever he wants. It helps that his dad and mom both agreed to a laissez-faire child-raising policy. Until Corey breaks their trust, they’ll let him and his sisters do their own things. They’re pretty awesome that way. I was impressed when his parents let Corey crash at my house for a sleepover. Corey had shrugged when I mentioned it. Apparently when he told them he was gay they instantly ordered shirts online—even though Forest Grove isn’t the safest place to wear something that says Straight Supporter of Gay Rights.

“If you’re going, I’ll be there,” Patrick told me softly. And I stopped breathing. Because how romantic is that?!

“Then I guess I’ll have to go.”

Yes, I flirted! And I didn’t even make an idiot out of myself!

Patrick was about to say something adorable to me (I could just tell) when someone behind me distracted him. “Oh. Hey, Logan.”

Logan nodded pleasantly at Patrick before turning to Corey. “I saw your moves from the concert. Pretty impressive.”

Corey grinned back. “That was nothing. You should see the three of us when we’re hyped up on sugar and too many episodes of
Glee
.”

He laughed and sat down next to Jane. “I didn’t see you onstage.”

“Corey wasn’t quick enough to shove us both. I prefer to do my dancing in private.”

“Mackenzie was great.” Patrick blurted it out, completely breaking the flow of conversation. Logan raised an eyebrow as if he’d just noticed me.

“Yeah, Mack was all right.” That was it—that was all he said to me before introducing himself to Melanie, Rachel, and the other freshman girls. And I was oddly grateful that he didn’t make a big deal out of it. All of the Notable attention made me feel a bit gross. Maybe if I was Chelsea I’d love being the center of conversation … but that’s so not the way I work. Mainly because if I’m the center that means my friends are on the periphery.

The freshman girls were instantly crushing on Logan, and I couldn’t exactly blame them. He’s just so effortless. I couldn’t help but admire the way he got people talking and then leaned back to let the conversation take shape. If that was a skill his dyslexia forced him to hone, I’d say it was a fair trade-off.

“I’ve got to head out,” Patrick said, interrupting a story about Melanie’s crazy aunt. I looked at my watch. We still had over fifteen minutes left for lunch and I couldn’t see why he needed to rush. Then again, maybe he had to discuss an assignment with a teacher.

“Uh, okay,” I said stupidly. “See you later.”

“I’m counting on it.”

Then he was gone and I was left wondering if maybe, just maybe, those fantasies of mine might actually come true.

“W
ell, that was interesting.” I can always count on Corey to say something just when I hope it’ll pass without comment. Patrick might have left the table, but Logan was still
right there.
I shot Corey a warning look that he ignored.

“I mean, that guy hasn’t deigned to sit with us
ever
.” Disapproval dripped from Corey, and I saw him trade looks with Jane and then Logan. It all felt too conspiratorial for my liking. Especially since I didn’t appear to be within the trust circle.

I shrugged. “It’s been a week of firsts.”

My cell phone went off, interrupting Corey’s next retort.

“Saved by the phone,” I grinned as I flipped it open. “Hello?”

“Hey, Mackenzie. It’s Tim.”

I drew a complete blank. I sat there and tried to think if I knew anyone by that name. If some “Tim” from school wanted to talk to me, why wouldn’t he just walk over to the table? Unless this was some creepy stalker who had managed to get my cell phone number. Considering the way my Facebook in-box had exploded with friend requests, it wasn’t such a crazy thought.

“Tim,” I mouthed to Corey and Jane questioningly. And then it hit me.
Of course
, Timothy Goff: rock superstar. My life is insane.

“Hey, Tim.” I jerked up in my seat. “How’s it going?”

“I’m good. Listen, we’ve got the night off and … Well, we’re heading back to LA tomorrow since … We’re scheduled to be on
Ellen
before we lay down some tracks for our next CD… .” I heard him breathe in exasperation. “I’m going about this all wrong. I was just wondering … do you think Corey is free?”

I couldn’t have been more surprised if Jane had hit me with a stun gun.

“Free?” I repeated.

“God, I shouldn’t be doing it like this. It’s pathetic. Next thing you know I’ll be slipping Corey a paper asking how much he likes me with three boxes for him to check. Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen.”

“Hold up,” I said, trying to prevent information overload.

“I know I’m going too fast, but I thought since I’m leaving soon I should probably make my move now. But I’m way off base, right? He’s probably dating someone. God, he has a girlfriend!”

“Um, s-single,” I stuttered, still trying to process the fact that a rock star appeared to need my help with his love life. “Totally single.”

“Oh.” That shut him up for a second. “So do you think he might be interested …”

“I think ‘interested’ is an understatement.” I grinned hugely at Corey as he and Jane hung on my every word.

“Really?” Tim sounded shocked, relieved, and pleased. “I thought that maybe he … but I wasn’t sure.” There was a pause as what I’d said soaked in. “Thanks, Mackenzie. I had a feeling about you from the moment we met.”

I laughed. “You did? And what feeling was that?”

“That you’re the girl next door who doesn’t know how great she really is.”

“Aw, I’m blushing,” I said, amused to note that my cheeks felt ruddier than they had been when Patrick flirted with me. Maybe because with Tim I
knew
there was no hidden agenda. He’s way more famous, talented, popular, and rich than I am. So when he says that I’m great, it makes me think that maybe he’s got a point.

The five-minute warning bell sounded.

“Listen, I’ve got to go. Talk to you later, Tim.”

I snapped the phone shut and turned to find everyone staring at me. Even Logan didn’t look as unfazed. Then again, it’s not every day you hear a certified nerd talking to a rock star about her very single best friend.

But I wasn’t going to let Corey, or anyone else, find out what Tim had asked me. Corey deserved to hear it from Tim when he worked up the nerve to call.

“So, Mackenzie.” Melanie broke the stunned silence. “Are you still going to the party?”

I thought back to what my mom had said over breakfast—the part about needing to be a kid every now and then.

“Yeah,” I replied. Seized by an impulsive idea, I decided to go with it. I smiled broadly at Melanie, Rachel, and the two new freshmen, Isobel and Claire. “If Corey doesn’t mind shuttling us to the party, you guys are more than welcome to get ready at my house.”

Corey nodded his head in consent as I ripped out a piece of paper from my binder and scribbled down my cell number and address. I handed it to Melanie.

“I’m probably going to need you guys to save me from becoming fashion roadkill” I said jokingly, even though I was painfully aware that this was a plausible outcome. Then I grabbed my books. “Logan, I’ll see you after class for tutoring.”