Away From You (Back To You Book 2) (13 page)

As the phone
booted up, I had countless texts and voicemails from family and friends back
home. My family must have told everyone. I doubted Olivia would have done that;
she’s not the type to want other people in our business. I closed the
notifications that kept popping up and clicked on my wife’s contact info. Her
pretty face popped up when I started the call and I smiled.

She answered
on the first ring. “Matt? Oh my God. Hi!”

Her voice
made my eyes sting. It took me a moment to respond. “Hey, babe.”

“Are you
okay?”

“Yeah, they
said my surgeries went well. I’m still waiting for the doctor to tell me the
details though.”

She sighed.
“They’ve been keeping me updated, so I knew that the surgeries went well, but
it’s just so good to hear your voice.”

It sounded
like she was trying to hide the fact that she was crying. “Are
you
okay?”

“Yeah, oh
God, don’t worry about me.” She laughed through her tears. “I’m fine. I’m just
relieved to hear from you, that’s all.”

“Do you know
anything about Brooks? Have you talked to his wife at all? They won’t tell me
very much here.”

“Actually,
yes. She’s been calling me with updates. It’s been pretty touch-and-go this
whole time. He was really bad when you guys first got to Germany so she flew
out there with his parents to be with him.”

“Oh, so
she’s here?” I asked, looking out towards the hallway as if she were going to
coincidentally walk into view.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I do
wish you were here babe, but it sounds like I’d be a lot worse off if you
were.” I felt bad for saying it, but it was true. They flew Brooks’ family out
to be by his side. As much as I’d love to see Olivia right now, I was damn glad
that I’d be leaving this place tonight.

“I know. I’m
just glad Brooks is pulling through.”

I shook my
head in disbelief. How did this happen? One second we were on our way to work
like any other day, the next minute we were in a firefight on the flight line. And
I didn’t even know how long Brooks had been bleeding before I saw his wound. He
held out for so long without telling me that he must have lost a ton of blood.
Apparently, so had I. I could still smell the metallic scent of blood mixed
with gunpowder.

“Matt?”
Olivia asked, bringing me back from my memories just in time.

“Yeah?”

“What the
hell happened out there?”

There was a
long pause. I had no idea what to say. Images and sounds started flashing
through my mind, none of which I wanted to hold onto long enough to repeat
aloud. I remembered the white-hot flash of pain when the bullet went into my
arm. I remembered how cold and heavy my pistol felt in my hand, and then how
hot it got after firing so many rounds. I remembered the taste of blood when I
wiped the dirt and sweat off my face with my red-stained hand.

“Are you
there?” Olivia asked quietly.

“Yeah,” I
muttered.

“We don’t
have to talk about it, babe.”

I looked up
to see a doctor coming into my room. I nodded at him and said a silent prayer
of thanks for his timing. “Olivia? I have to go. The doctor just came in. I’ll
call you when I can.”

“Okay. Well,
I just found out that you’re getting out tonight so I’ll meet you in D.C. when
you get there. I love you!”

“I love you,
too, Sweetheart.”

Olivia

The sliding glass doors at the entrance
of Walter Reed Hospital slid open just before I smacked my forehead into the
metal frame. I rushed up to the front desk and waited impatiently as an ancient
volunteer helped the couple in front of me find who they were looking for. It
took every ounce of willpower I had not to tap my toe at them.

I had only
brought one bag with me on the flight from San Diego to D.C. In it, I had the
usual contents of my purse, a plastic bag of toiletries, a maxi dress similar
to the one I was already wearing, and two pairs of underwear – because
you just never know. We were only spending one night here before heading back
and I didn’t want to be weighed down at all. Still, I shifted the tote from one
shoulder to the other and rolled my neck. I was stiff from the flight and the
tension.

Matt’s mom
made me jump as she came up behind me and put a hand on my back. “Relax, okay?
He’s just fine.”

I sighed and
leaned into her as she put her arm around me. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just
anxious.”

“We are too,
honey.” She kissed my forehead and smiled slightly to her husband, who was
standing on the other side of me.

Harry and
Isabelle had parked the car and taken one look at my face before telling me I
could run ahead. I wanted to be a grown up and just walk with them, but when
given permission to run, I did. It didn’t make much difference though, since
now we were all standing together waiting to be told where to go.

The couple
finally left and I rushed forward. “We’re here to see Matthew Mills.”

“Are you
family?”

I sighed
impatiently. “I’m his wife.”

“And we’re
his parents,” Isabelle added, smiling at the volunteer behind the desk. She was
so calm. I didn’t understand it at all.

“Wonderful,
let me just see here,” the volunteer said, looking down at the computer.
“Alright, he’s in room 2301. It’s on the second floor. You’ll just take that
elevator over there and follow the hallway down to the right.”

Knowing
exactly where he was in the expansive hospital made me nervous. I hesitated
briefly, but Isabelle took my hand and we headed toward the elevator together.
I had no inclination to run ahead this time. Tears welled up behind my eyes as
I thought about finally being in his arms again after all that had happened. I
sniffed and pushed them back, staring at the florescent lighting above me. I’d
promised myself on the plane that I wouldn’t cry anymore. Everything was fine,
and the only thing worth doing was counting my blessings that it hadn’t been
worse. Crying wouldn’t help anyone.

The hallway
was cold as we made it onto the second floor. I shivered. The long passage
seemed to stretch longer the further we went, and I had the disorienting
feeling of being in a nightmare. Where was this apprehension coming from? I
needed to get a grip. This was Matt, for goodness sake. Not a stranger, but my
husband. I squared my shoulders and took my next steps with confidence. Like
Isabelle said, he was fine.

We rounded
the corner into his room and my heart stopped. The lights were dim and his bed
was made and empty. My gaze flew wildly around the room, taking in the empty
lounge chair, empty window seat, and empty bathroom. Finally, my eyes landed on
Isabelle and Harry as an irrational panic set in. They still looked calm. Was
this a nightmare, after all?

“Hi, folks,”
a cheerful voice said from behind us. “Are you here to see Matthew?”

Harry smiled
at the white-haired nurse who appeared in the doorway. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Great, he’s
been so excited to see y’all. He’s just down getting an x-ray right now, but
he’s been gone awhile so he should be back soon. You’re welcome to wait here
for him. There’s a cafeteria right down the hall if you’d like to wait there
instead.”

“Thank you,”
Isabelle nodded to the friendly nurse and looked at Harry. “I’m starving, do
you want to go grab a bite while we wait?”

I frowned.
“She said he’d be back soon. Are you sure we should go?”

Isabelle
chuckled. “You can wait here if you want. I just need something to settle my
stomach. Will you be okay without us for a bit?”

“I’m sure
it’ll be good to give them a minute, anyway, Isabelle,” Harry nodded at me and
steered his wife out the door.

Maybe she
was more of a wreck than I gave her credit for if she needed food to settle her
stomach. I instantly felt bad for making it all about me. Matt was her son long
before he was my husband. I held up a hand to stop them to see if they wanted
to greet him first, but it would probably sound weird at this point. I
definitely needed to give them time alone with their son when they got back.

Not sure
what else to do while I waited, I went to the window. The view of the courtyard
below was equally peaceful and sad at the same time. There were several
patients in wheelchairs getting some air, some of which were missing a limb or
heavily bandaged. I knew Matt’s injury was bad; enough so to send him home from
deployment. Thankfully, it wasn’t so bad that he had to stay in Germany as long
as Brooks. And he still had all of his limbs, as far as I knew. I counted my
blessings for what seemed like the thousandth time since this whole ordeal
began.

“Olivia.”

The sound of
my name coming from such a familiar voice had my heart breaking and soaring in
the same instant. I spun around. Matt was sitting in a wheelchair pushed by the
friendly nurse from before. He was wearing a hospital gown and a huge smile.
His left arm was in a sling, but otherwise he looked completely fine. Amazing,
in fact. The slight tan he’d acquired in the desert added to the instant
attraction I felt as our eyes met.

I took a
step forward as the nurse wheeled him into the room. She put a hand on his good
shoulder and gave it a squeeze. She nodded at me before turning and leaving the
room. I paused, and he seemed to realize that the wheelchair was the reason. He
stood easily and approached me. Seeing that he was okay, I started toward him.
He met me in the middle and wrapped me in a fierce hug. His breath caught in
what sounded like pain, but when I tried to pull back he only squeezed me
tighter. I closed my eyes and just inhaled the familiar scent of him.

Finally, he
broke the hug and cupped the side of my face with his right hand. His eyes were
wet and focused and I forced down the urge to cry again. I’d been so worried.
There were no words to express how grateful I was to be holding him in my arms,
safe, and warm. The intensity in his gaze told me that he was thinking the same
thing. Words can make you feel special or needed by the one you love, but
sometimes there are brief flashes of true and honest
emotion
that say
more than words ever could.

“Are you
tired?” I asked. He seemed unsteady on his feet.

He shrugged,
and then immediately grimaced from the action. “Sort of.”

“Here, sit.”
I pulled him by the uninjured arm over to sit on the bed, and he tugged me down
to sit beside him.

“Where are
my parents?” He asked.

“They went
to the cafeteria. I think they’re giving us some time alone.”

Matt nodded.
“Sounds like something Mom would do.”

“I think my
anxiousness was wearing on her.” I smiled sheepishly and he wrapped his arm
around me. “I was just worried. I didn’t know what you’d be like or how bad it
was. I mean, I knew, but I didn’t
know.
”

He squeezed
me close. “It’s okay, babe. I know how bad it is and I was still nervous to see
you. It’s been a rough few days, that’s all.”

His
casualness confused me. He’d been through such a horrifying ordeal, and yet he
was comforting me. Like with his mom, I felt selfish again. Was everyone
stronger than I was? Maybe they were just better at keeping it under control.
If I were stronger, they could let it out and lean on me, instead of the other
way around. Sitting up straighter, I resolved to be stronger. I resolved to
hold my head just a little higher and be just a little more solid. Then, maybe
Matt would be able to heave some of the weight of this experience onto my
shoulders rather than bear it alone.

“Do you walk
to talk about it?” I asked, trying to sound as sensitive as I could.

Matt
breathed deeply through his nose and looked sideways at me. “Not at all.”

I tried not
to feel shut out. After everything he’d been through, he absolutely deserved to
have a few days before reliving it all. “That’s fine, babe. Whenever you’re
ready, know that I’m here.”

He smiled
briefly and kissed me on the forehead. “I know, Liv.”

“Knock,
knock!” Isabelle poked her head into the room. “Hey, sweetie! Oh, don’t get
up!”

Matt relaxed
back onto the bed next to me as his mom and dad entered the room. I started to
slide off the bed to give his parents some room to hug him, but I felt Matt’s
grip on my hand tighten so I settled for just scooting over slightly. Isabelle
hugged him for a long time, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. I wished
that Matt hadn’t kept me sitting so close. Seeing those emotions on her face
made me want to cry again. I looked at Harry, but his eyes were wet as he stood
behind his wife and had a hand on each of them. The safest place for my gaze to
rest was on the cold linoleum floor.

*

Rolling
over, my eyes popped open. The haze of sleep wore off and I remembered where I
was. I shouldn’t have been able to roll over, since I had opted to sleep next
to Matt in his hospital bed rather than go back to the hotel with my in-laws. I
felt around for him in the dark. My fingers came up empty and I sat upright. I
blinked, trying to get my eyes to focus in the dark room. I turned to the
window and saw the shadowy form of my husband looking out at the dark, moonless
sky.