Away From Everywhere (40 page)

I moved on to this idea: Emily was initially “real,” and she killed herself, as in the final draft, but Owen
accidentally
drank that glass of water while waiting for the paramedics.
Accidentally
, and then everyone assumed it was a double suicide. I had Owen have a redemptive epiphany about life while holding her dead body, which insinuated he'd be okay now. But that ending felt like it simplified all the complexities of the novel. It was too preachy, my own thoughts on the world came through too obviously, and I would rather make a reader think than listen. That ending interfered with letting the reader judge Owen,Alex, and Hannah, and all of their actions, for themselves.

SETTLING ON THE ENDING ...

I never planned on having Owen share the same fate as his father, but in the end it seemed appropriate on many levels. I went back through the story and laced it with clues – obvious ones, like the hints Emily was a delusion, and subtle ones, like his being so socially reclusive. The whole depersonalization disorder bit was a misdiagnosis; I wonder how many readers will realize that? I also foreshadowed the suicide attempt ten different ways too, like his train of thought on the ferry back home, so it wouldn't come out of nowhere.

This schizophrenic, delusion-assisted suicide ending I settled on seemed fitting. So fitting it sort of wrote itself out, and I like when a final chapter has a reader flipping the pages, but it feels genre-defiant. I am worried having a “spoiler ending” of “he goes mad”might overwhelm the rest of the story and make this a novel about a man who went insane. That is not what the novel is about. I'd let a reader muse on whether or not his losing himself was symbolic and fitting. On many levels. It was certainly not just a gimmicky ending, and now I am worried a reader might hear how the story ends and think there is no point reading the book, knowing the ending. This is a multilayered novel with a handful of “themes,”but I will leave “what it's about”up to the reader, because it will hopefully strike a different chord in everyone who reads it. That's what a good book does: raises questions instead of preaching an author's opinions. It took me years of writing to embrace that.

I do know what my “intentions”were with this novel, but that shouldn't affect what questions
Away from Everywhere
raises about life for any given reader. I like that, so far, everyone seems to react to a different element of this book. I like that there are different elements to like, or dislike, for that matter. It's like this book reads differently for everyone who reads it. I let myself stop worrying that some audiences might like one chapter and hate the next. It's that kind of book. It's like life that way.

BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS

1. What was this novel really about?What questions did it raise for you as you read it?

2. Now that you are finished the novel, what do you think about when you reflect on
Away from Everywhere
?

3. Why might the author haven chosen to end the novel this way? Did the ending overwhelm the rest of the story? Is it what lingers for you?

4. What does the title mean to you?

5. The author contends that this novel, in part, explores “the flipside of love and the complexities of relationships.”Did this really strike your as a major element of this book?

6. Consider Hannah's line, “Love makes us weak so we will succumb to it, give into it.”Is this “weakening effect”of Owen on Hannah a test of the strength of her relationship, her own will, or was it nature's way of telling her that Alex was no longer the right man for who she'd become in her thirties?

7. Are there any indications that Hannah's affections for Owen are moreso a result of her and Alex's troubles than her feelings for Owen? Is it a mix of the two? Is she even sure herself? Is this true to life?

8. Consider Clyde's sentiment,“We are an ever-changing product of yesterdays, not rigid, static people.”Is there any truth to this? In what ways is this a novel about the plasticity or instability of identity?

9. Was Owen justified in claiming Hannah's journal to “spare” Alex from having to read about the affair? Ultimately, which brother would have benefitted the most from reading it? Been crushed the most by it?

10. Is Alex villainized in the first half of this novel? Are Owen's and Hannah's opinions on him a fair assessment of his character?Where in the novel is his character most redeemed? Most flawed?

11. On page 149,Hannah says “I feel trapped in the world before now. Fenced in by it. Caged in.”How much of life are we not in control of?To what degree are we to be held accountable for our actions?

12. What is similar about how each section starts on pages 19, 22, 59, and 258. What might be the intention here?

13. Which parts of the book were the most compelling? What was the biggest lull in the book that lost your attention?

14. What part of the novel turned you off from a character the most?What action redeemed a character the most?

15. Who did you find your opinion of shifting the most?Which of the characters did you like the most, dislike the most, and what would you like to ask one of them?