Away (17 page)

“Enough out of you, Jab.” Pathik half rose.

“Enough out of both of you for now.” Indigo motioned to Pathik to sit down.

“She might be a Reg, but she's a good one.”

Rachel had to crane her neck to see the source of the comment. Bender, sitting near the front of the room, almost hidden since he was shorter than the rest of them. He grinned in her direction and she smiled.

“She brought medicine.” Bender shook his finger at Jab. “She didn't have to do that.”

“All right, all right, Bender.” Jab didn't look convinced.

“We'll start today with a brief explanation for our guest,” said Indigo. “Rachel, you know some of us have gifts.”

Rachel nodded.

“Usage is our practice of those gifts, and our study of how we use them.” He waited to see if she had any questions. Rachel kept silent.

Indigo addressed the whole room. “Today, let's focus on control. We'll save experimentation for next time.” Indigo nodded toward Bender. “Bender, would you like to show us your progress?”

Bender leaped up; he was an eager student here, unlike in school. He walked to the front of the room and stood next to Indigo. From his pocket, he extracted a metal rod. It was about six inches long and about an inch in diameter. Rachel wondered what it had come from; one end was twisted and jagged where it had been broken from something.

Bender held it at eye level in front of him. He stared at it. After a minute or so the rod bent, so that it formed an upside-down L. Bender tilted his head a bit and the L became an upside-down V.

“Very good!” Indigo patted Bender's shoulder. “And back?”

Bender tapped at the bend in the metal. “Still too hot.” He blew on the rod, cooling it. After a few more minutes he stared at it again. The V became an L, and then the rod straightened back to the way it was at the beginning of the exercise.

“You make that look so easy!” Kinec was grinning at Bender from the floor.

“But I can only do metal, Kinec,” said Bender, looking proud despite himself at the older boy's praise. “You can do anything.”

“That was very much improved, Bender, over last session.” Indigo looked pleased. “You have been practicing well.”

“Thanks.” Bender's cheeks turned rosy. “I worked on it every night.”

“Who's next?” Indigo looked around. A girl, younger than Rachel by a year or two, raised her hand. Indigo beckoned to her.

“Serena.”

The girl rose and took Bender's place. Indigo looked at the students again. “A volunteer?”

“I will.” Fisher spoke, but he remained where he was.

Indigo nodded. “Whenever you're ready,” he said to Serena. She nodded, and smiled shyly at Fisher. She took a deep breath, and brushed at her hair with one hand.

“Is it deep trouble, or light?” She watched Fisher carefully.

“I'd say it's somewhere in between,” said Fisher. He looked pointedly at Rachel. Returning his gaze to Serena, he continued. “I'm unable to sleep well, at times. And I feel a certain melancholy.”

The girl nodded. She closed her eyes, and her hand crept up toward her hair again. She pressed two fingers to her temple, and the other fingers splayed out away from her brow.

The room was silent. Rachel noticed that nobody watched the girl; they were all looking at Fisher. She looked too. At first, she didn't notice anything. But then, there was a shift, something so subtle it happened almost invisibly. Fisher's face relaxed, just around the eyes. That was all. Rachel looked at Serena and saw that she was smiling softly, her eyes still closed. Fisher didn't smile, but he looked the way someone does when some pain, a headache, a sore muscle—inconsequential but wearying—eases.

Indigo placed his hand on Serena's shoulder and she opened her eyes.

“I could feel it a lot better this time—I knew right when it was soothed for him.” Serena looked excited.

Indigo nodded. “It seemed like it was easier for you to get there this time.” He looked toward Fisher. “How do you feel?”

Fisher allowed himself a smile then. “Just like she said. Soothed.”

“Excellent work, Serena.” Indigo waited while the girl sat down.

“Now. I know we haven't all practiced yet, but I want to move on to our study. That way Rachel will be able to have a general sense of all that we do in Usage class before she leaves us. Do you have any questions, Rachel, before study?”

Rachel hadn't realized she wasn't staying for the entire Usage class. She tried to hide her surprise. “So, gifts come in different strengths? Or are they harder for some than others?” Rachel remembered the beads of sweat on Kinec's forehead when he had made his pack move during the trek to camp. Bender's face had betrayed no great effort when he bent his steel rod. She didn't remember that Jab had looked particularly strained when he hurt her either.

“We don't know all the answers about our gifts, Rachel. They do come to us with varying degrees of power. But practice does seem to make a difference.”

“And how do you decide whether you
should
get better, at a gift?”

Indigo nodded. He knew Rachel was thinking of his kind of gift. “That's a hard question to answer, Rachel. I do believe some gifts should not be honed.”

“What sort of gift should not be used, if it's given?” Jab sounded defensive, as if he knew the answer.

Indigo spoke quietly. “Just because a person can do something, does it always mean they should?”

Jab didn't answer.

“I'd like to have a talk with you, Jab, after Usage.” Indigo looked at Rachel for a moment, then addressed the room again. “But let's talk about this a little now.” He pointed to Bender. “When, Bender, would it be wrong for you to use your gift?”

Bender spoke by rote. “If I trespass on another unbidden.”

Indigo smiled. “Precisely. But what does that mean, Bender?”

Bender shrugged.

“If I asked you to help me by straightening my knife, could you use your gift?”

Bender nodded. “But if you didn't ask, and I just did it, it would still be helping you.”

Indigo nodded. “If Serena used her gift without asking you, would it be helping?”

Bender thought. “I don't see why it wouldn't. She makes people feel better.”

“I make people feel less.” Serena spoke. “That's my gift, Bender. I take away feeling. Not permanently. But that's what I do. And sometimes, if a feeling isn't good, it helps someone to feel better.” She looked at Indigo for permission to continue. He nodded. “When I get really good at my gift, I'll be able to make you feel nothing at all if I want to, Bender. Would you want me to do that?”

Bender frowned. “I don't think so.”

“So that's why we have study. Why we have to think about when it's right to use our gifts, how we can use them wisely.”

“At least you'll be able to, though.” Jab scowled at Serena. “You have a gift you
can
use. Some of us have bad gifts. Or so some say.” He glowered at Indigo.

“There is no such thing as a bad gift.” Indigo spoke firmly. “There are only bad ways to use gifts.” Indigo looked around slowly, making certain every person heard his words. “I think we can end early today. I thank you all for allowing Rachel to observe.” People began to file out of the room. “Jab.” Indigo motioned to the boy to come to him. “You and I need to have a discussion.”

Rachel saw them later, sitting on two stumps at the edge of the camp. Jab was listening intently to Indigo. She wondered if Indigo was telling him about his own gift. Rachel wondered if Indigo was telling Jab how he might use his gift in good ways. She couldn't think of any.

 

 

THE COUNCIL MEETING was short. Michael was there, as was most of the rest of the camp. Word had gotten out that there was a trek planned. And somehow, it seemed common knowledge that the trek was to the Line, back to the place Indigo had gone so many years ago, the place where he had fallen in love with a Reg, and fathered her son. People were chattering in gossipy, low tones. Pathik and Indigo arrived a bit late. Indigo strode once again to the front of the room.

“Daniel has recuperated well from his injuries.” The crowd quieted. “The Roberts have not yet retaliated against us for rescuing him, but we think they will.” He looked around the room, meeting eyes here and there. “We think they have already done worse, as you know.” He looked saddened. Ivy, the mother of the missing twins, was not in the council room: the fate of the boys weighed heavy on them all.

“We've stayed here for generations, and we've made a home. But I believe it's time to make a move. I believe that we need to go to Salishan. Daniel, his daughter, Rachel, Pathik, Fisher, and I will leave tomorrow to fetch Daniel's wife. When we return, I will be making a new home.”

A buzz of conversation began and grew louder. Some people shook their heads, some nodded, some looked deep in thought. All of them focused on Indigo again when he spoke.

“I know that it's hard to think about leaving here. We've built a place where we've felt safe, and where we can survive. But we need to do better than survive.

“We've discussed the idea of going to Salishan many times. We've argued about whether it's true there are Others there, and maybe those are just firetales. But even if there is no one there, even if Salishan is deserted, it affords us a place we can defend. It allows us the chance to build another home, a better home, where we might be able to live without fear.” Indigo studied the ground in front of him for a moment. When he looked up, he looked to Rachel the way a leader should look, strong, and sure.

“When we return from our trek, I will be going to Salishan. Any who wish to join me are welcome.” With that, Indigo strode out of the room.

CHAPTER 15

T
HEY LEFT EARLY in the morning. They set out with no fanfare. A few people were up to see them off, but most of the camp still slumbered. Rachel noticed Serena was one of those voicing farewells. She felt tempted to ask her to lessen a feeling or two—she hadn't slept all night because every time she closed her eyes she saw Peter's bloody hand, and the baern that had killed him. The baern, and others like it, were still out there.

“You look pretty tired.” Her father ruffled her hair.

Rachel just nodded. She didn't want him to see that she was afraid.

“Listen,” he said. “I know that this is a big responsibility, but I was hoping you would be in charge of this.” He reached into his pocket and brought out the laser saw. “I've just gotten so used to a knife that this thing doesn't feel natural.”

Rachel took it, feeling the smooth, deadly weight of it. “You can tell I'm scared, can't you?” She didn't want to look at him.

“Well, I'm scared too, Rachel.” He stood close. “We both saw what happened to Peter. We both know that that baern and other things like it are out there. I think if we weren't scared, I'd have to wonder how smart we were.”

She finally looked at him. He was smiling. “We'll be okay.”

Rachel shoved the laser saw into her pocket. She thought about what Ms. Moore had told her, before she had Crossed. That brave people are always scared. That you have to be afraid before you
can
be brave.

Daniel patted her on the back and walked over to Indigo, who was saying good-bye to Malgam and Nandy. They were staying, to get things ready for the trek to Salishan. Rachel tried to focus on the smooth shape of the laser saw and breathed deep.

As it turned out, the trek was relatively uneventful. In fact, parts of it were almost fun. They had enough food, and there was no sign of baerns. As each day passed, Rachel felt more at ease and closer to home. She and Pathik and Fisher took charge of gathering wood each night when they camped, and once they'd had their evening meal, Indigo would clear his throat and tell a firetale. He had all kinds. Some were about the first generation of survivors from when the Line was activated; how they suffered and persevered, how they despaired when all their babies were stillborn; the joy when the first baby lived, the first child born with a gift. He told a funny firetale about stumbling upon Daniel in the woods, wandering around sick as a lamb and wild-eyed, and how Daniel had thought he was a ghost of some sort. And there were tales of Salishan; of bountiful land, and safety; of miraculously undestroyed power sources—according to legend the island had been the site of a wind farm—and of Others who had somehow been able to reach the island. There were supposed to be boats abandoned on a shore not too far from the Others' camp, awaiting those who wanted passage.