Awakening the Luminous Mind: Tibetan Meditation for Inner Peace and Joy (13 page)

For this elderly monk, my words had pointed to a very specific place within him that was beyond doubt. He recognized this nature of mind in himself and became clear. And now, for the remainder of his life, he understood that his practice was to abide and connect again and again in this nature of mind, until he had completely integrated this understanding throughout all of his experiences, whether waking or sleeping, sitting or lying down. As this monk expressed, the understanding of the nature of mind is highly treasured.

Historically, when a student set off in search of a teacher from the lineage of the Zhang Zhung Nyen Gyü, their aim was to receive the instructions of the nature of mind. They were looking to be introduced to this very simple place within themselves. This introduction is referred to as
ngo trö
, often translated as “pointing-out instructions,” though it literally means “being shown your own face.” The master’s role is to show you your own face, or introduce you to yourself. And that means that place, that clear and open space of mind, which is your own face. This is the nature of mind. That whole process and understanding is very, very important, more than this or that breathing exercise, or this or that movement technique. None are as important as the recognition of this core place. This nature of mind is where the poem of inner refuge and the instructions of Dawa Gyaltsen point us.

G
ETTING TO
K
NOW
Y
OURSELF

I was speaking to a Western friend of mine who also was a meditation practitioner of many years. He said, “I’m finally beginning to know myself.” I was curious. “What do you mean?” I asked him. He replied, “After being in a relationship for twelve years, my partner and I finally decided to go our separate ways. Now I have been in a new relationship for a few months, and I am finding that I am experiencing so much jealousy! I never knew I was such a jealous person. It is a real eye-opening experience to discover this about myself.” As I listened, I found it curious that someone would feel that he was getting to know himself as he was getting in touch and more familiar with his pain body. How could he think this was getting to know himself? I realize that this is often what people mean when they speak about getting to know themselves. They are speaking about becoming more familiar with their suffering or their pain body. What that tells me is that the core message and medicine of Dawa Gyaltsen’s line
Mind is empty
is not commonly appreciated or understood. Don’t get too excited if your final realization about yourself is that you are a jealous person. You are concluding in the wrong place. You have to go further and look deeper to get to the truth of that pain body, that pain identity. Is the pain body truly there? No. It is not there in the way that it appears. If you look directly and intimately without the interference of the conceptual mind, you will discover that the pain body does not inherently exist. Realizing this is freedom. Why is it that we so easily feel we have uncovered a truer self when we say, “I realize I am a jealous person!” We haven’t recognized the one who is realizing this. We have not looked directly at the one who has come to this conclusion. If you can be conscious of
that
ego, both the subject and the object will dissolve. When you feel the dissolution of that subject, then if you want to, you can say that you are beginning to know yourself. You are beginning to know your
true
self: boundless and indestructible.

So I am touching upon a big topic here. Of course, I am presenting the pain body in a simplified way, and it is important to have respect for that conventional self because that is the doorway to your transformation. Although you are not your pain body, often the healing of the misunderstanding that you are your pain begins when you connect more deeply with your pain body, just like the meditator who connected with his jealousy. It can be a moving experience that you want to share with others, and even though that is not conclusively who you truly are, it can be the first step toward healing. Often we do not allow ourselves to know our pain very well, or to feel it fully. We may feel some cultural pressure to be successful and uplifted and energetic. You are supposed to feel happy. But are you really happy? Everyone else seems excited about something, and so you smile and jump up and down and join a conspiracy of happiness. If that is the case, discovering your pain body can be more authentic than joining a conspiracy of cheerfulness that takes you further away from yourself. Again, Dawa Gyaltsen is directing us to look even more nakedly. Pain is your doorway or entrance to a deeper realization, so let’s continue to explore how that happens.

Dawa Gyaltsen’s second line of advice is
Mind is empty
. What do we mean by
mind
, and what does
empty
refer to? The mind is the one who has created or formed the egoistic imagination, the vision. Mind is the creator of all the stories. Usually we don’t experience mind as clear or open or empty or uncontrived, for we are more focused on what is occupying the mind—the experience or the story. We don’t realize that when it is filled with obscurations, mind is limited and contracted and blocked; therefore, it is important to discover the experience that mind is empty and clear and open and luminous. That is the goal of the practice in this second line.

Through the advice of the first line of Dawa Gyaltsen,
Vision is mind
, we realize there is nothing that appears in our experience that is fixed or solid. Whatever you experience, it is just your own mind. What is that mind? The way to find out is not to question intellectually or to analyze or judge or think, but to discover through nonconceptual awareness: naked awareness, openness, direct observation. Now you look inward toward the subject, rather than outward toward the object as we did in our first investigation of looking at vision. As you direct your focus inward ask yourself: What is mind? What does it look like? Does it have any shape or color, or is it located in a particular place? Close your eyes and go closer and closer with open, naked awareness. As you get close, the mind also dissipates. It dissolves its solidity or concreteness, and whatever block, fear, or negative emotion it encounters, such as anger or jealousy, simply dissolves. How is this possible? It dissolves because it cannot sustain itself without the imagination or the continued conversation of ego. When you nakedly observe, you are not talking or commenting from the smart ego’s perspective. As you look nakedly with open awareness, what you observe dissolves. You actually experience that it dissolves into vast space. Nothing remains. We use the word
emptiness
for that experience.
Mind is empty
. It is clear. So as a result of the practice, you feel a deep release of that pain, that emotion, that block.

When you recognize
Vision is mind
, you feel a deep release. What you thought really existed, the object, is simply not there in the way that you experienced it. Fifty percent is gone because you realize
Vision is mind;
and with the second line,
Mind is empty
, what you think of as “me” or “I,” the subject, does not remain as well. The other half dissolves. As a result, you feel enormous inner freedom and release.

But what is tricky—particularly for those not used to looking at mind—is that another ego may be looking. Instead of looking from an open place, you may be looking through the eyes of a smart ego. Rather than observing from the place of deep silence, there is a conversation, a voice that feels subtler and wiser, but it is still the voice of the ego. That way of looking at your mind does not enable you to find the spacious quality around and within it; you are still looking at mind with a sense of limit and condition. You look at your mind, but the one who is looking is not that sense of spaciousness. At this point it is helpful to bring awareness to the observer, rather than to the object. What supports you to be more nakedly aware of the observer? Three words: stillness, silence, spaciousness. Feel stillness in your body; hear the silence within; recognize the spaciousness of mind, and look at that mind. Mind immediately feels empty. That is what is meant by
Mind is empty
.

The benefit of this practice is that you feel release.
I am not this pain. I am not this conflict. I am clear; I am open
. That openness is called emptiness.
Mind is empty
.

What is the mind that Dawa Gyaltsen describes as empty? It is ego. It is useful to describe ego in three ways: pain body, pain speech, and the pain mind, for we experience suffering through these three doors. Each of these is empty. All three are that mind, and that
Mind is empty
. You understand
Mind is empty
when the mind is free of the pain body, pain voice, and the pain mind.
Empty
means clear, open, and free. So it becomes possible to realize the bliss body, bliss speech, and bliss mind through the practice.

The theoretical and philosophical definition of emptiness is “the lack of inherent existence.” Here we are not talking intellectually but experientially. That means one’s own ego is the producer of the pain body, pain speech, and the pain mind, and when we realize that not only is the imagination of ego illusory, but ego itself is not there as we thought it was, we become clear and free.

To realize
Vision is mind
and
Mind is empty
, it is necessary to observe pain body, pain speech, and the pain mind in a particular way. That is key. That observing mind is naked awareness, being conscious of that pain body, being conscious of that pain voice, being conscious of that pain mind. You might say, “Oh, I know I have a pain body, pain speech, pain mind.” That knowing doesn’t liberate anything. That is a thought. That is conceptual knowing, not naked knowing. The definition of
naked
is “without clothes,” so naked knowing is without the clothing of concepts and thoughts. What is left when the concepts and thoughts are not obscuring the mind? Pure awareness. In
dzogchen
that awareness is referred to as
rigpa
. It is the Tibetan word for innate awareness, being conscious of spaciousness itself. This awareness doesn’t come from outside; in fact, it is neither outside nor inside, but awareness itself.

Knowing is not an observer looking at ego from outside or inside. The mind that is the observer is still the ego. The only way to exhaust the ego chain is to be nakedly aware. The observing ego thinks this is the last and the most beautiful unknown ego. Even if this ego is “ego” in small golden letters with rainbow light around it, nonetheless it is ego. Ego cannot witness its own funeral. Effort dissolves into the vast space of pure, naked awareness. It is aware in itself. When you look directly at “the one who is observing,” the observing mind releases into the vast and luminous space. So look at the subject instead of trying to be aware of the object of the ego. Be aware of the one who is bothered. Be aware of the one who is fearful. Be aware of the one who is feeling uncomfortable. And be aware of the one who is aware. When that knowing,
rigpa
, or naked awareness, sees pain body, pain speech, and the pain mind, suffering is liberated. Liberation comes through the power of that naked, open awareness. Again, this awareness is not conceptual. If you are looking at your painful mind and it doesn’t become blissful mind, you are not looking with the right mind. You have to be aware of the one who is observing. It is less important to know
what
you are observing and more important to connect with the right observer.
Who
is observing rather than
what
is being observed is the key.

To express this in another way, we have explored coming to the realization of
Vision is mind
through working with the example of the famous person. When you look nakedly at the solid famous person out there, you do not find something solid. Instead, what you do find is a solid, famous hidden you. You become the hidden famous person yourself. You frequently see and notice that suffering is in your mind and thoughts and dreams and subconscious stirrings. When you feel through the practice that the cause of your suffering is no longer “out there” as you have previously felt it to be,
you
become more present. So now you need to continue on an inner journey to investigate whether that you, that ego, is solid. Your ego is the famous person. Who is this famous spinner of stories? If you come up with an answer, keep looking.

G
UIDED
M
EDITATION
P
RACTICE OF
M
IND
I
S
E
MPTY

After reading the above section, you may wish to use the CD to follow the guided meditation. In addition, I include instructions below for a meditation that supports the discovery of
Mind is empty
.

Sit in a comfortable posture. Draw your attention inward. Feel stillness in your body, silence in your speech, and spaciousness in your mind. Just feel stillness, silence, and spaciousness while you feel connected and present in your body. Allow time for this.

Bring to awareness an inner challenge or inner vision. As you already have some experience doing, just directly observe that vision. Nakedly look at that vision, dissolving any distance until you are so close to it, it dissipates into a clear, open sky. Allow time for this.

Now look at the mind that observes that dissolution. See who is looking. Who is that mind? Where is that mind? Look directly, nakedly, without judging or analyzing. As you look closer and closer, trying to find the observer, you don’t find a solid mind there. There is nothing to be seen. Allow time for this. As you continue to look nakedly, any sense of solid mind or concrete observer dissolves into space and becomes empty. Simply feel this vast, unbounded space. Just be aware and connect with the openness. Mind is that spacious experience. Be conscious and aware of that unbounded space. Rest in the awareness of that unbounded space, without any effort or elaboration.
Mind is empty
.