Awaken (18 page)

             
“No.”

             
“You must allow a great amount of deliberation for this decision.  It is not to be taken lightly.”

             
“You think the gravity of my situation has been lost to me?” a voice threw at her; exasperated, but also shaken.  It was coming out of my mouth, but it wasn’t mine.  The turmoil inside me was threatening to rip me apart, piece by broken piece.  The pressure it caused on my heart was unbearable.  Beneath that flood of turmoil, flowed a hazy river of confusion that struggled to understand what was happening.  Who was this woman beside me?  My body felt different; heavier.  As I glanced down at my hands, I realized why.  I was…pregnant?  How did that happen?  I mean, I knew how that happened, but I also knew I had not yet partaken in the all important, well, prerequisites to pregnancy.  Theoretically that left only a couple of other options.  Either I was dreaming, I was experiencing someone else’s memories, or I had woken up in some alternate universe.  All of which were entirely possible.  I was banking on it being the second however.  Not in control of my motions or words, I knew I was only watching what was happening.  I had no involvement whatsoever.  I was a spectator. 

             
She covered my shaking hand with hers and sighed. “Thetis,” she looked into my eyes with patience, confirming my assumptions, “I do not presume to know how hard this must be for you.  I would never claim to be strong enough to make a decision of this magnitude.  I trust you will choose wisely.  I just want to ensure that you have considered each and every consequence.”  I recognized her voice from the last memory I had shared with my mother, however this was the first time I had actually seen her.  She was amazing.  Flowing blonde hair, highlighted by pale streaks of white, reached her lower back and cascaded over her shoulders.  Her bright blue eyes contained a strong presence of wisdom; the depths of which held courage and strength that seemingly surpassed her youthful features.  She appeared to be in her late twenties; carrying a grace and dignity that refused to be overlooked.  She greatly resembled the portrait I had seen of Thetis on the Fortunate Isle. 

             
“The only consequence I must consider is that of her safety,” Thetis declared with conviction.

             
“And what of the Tydes?  Who will become their leader?” she asked gently.

             
“I have seen it, Amphitrite.  She will return…in time,” Thetis sighed and I felt my head shake, “But if I do not provide her with the refuge she needs now, she will not live long enough to grow in years and take her rightful place as leader.” I racked my brain for the name Amphitrite. I’d heard it before, but couldn’t quite place it.

             
“Visions can change, dependent on the course a person may choose to take.  There is a chance she will not make it back to us,” Amphitrite reminded her.

             
“That is a chance I must take. For her.  For all of us.”

             
“But you are our leader-“ she pleaded.

             
“She is my daughter!” Thetis roared, “The people we love must always come before position and obligation.  Without them, the foundation we stand upon would falter and collapse!  Everything we fight for; everything we believe in would perish along with it!” My body stood as Thetis did and began to pace; unable to contain the war of emotions playing out within her heart. “As a leader, I can control neither the fate of the Tyde Order nor the Nereids from which they are descended.  But as a mother, I
can
ensure a future for my child.  And that, Amphitrite, comes before all else.”

             
“As your sister, I will wholly support your decision.  But I must warn you.  Others will not feel the same.”

             
“They do not yet know of my unborn child, and therefore they will not be privy to word of the childbirth.  You must promise to keep this in strictest confidence.  It is vital.”

             
“I will not let you down sister, I promise,” she smiled.

             
“Thank you,” My hand squeezed hers. “Never question the strength of our bond.  It will endure.  As will the bond between a mother and her daughter.  Even in death.” I patted my stomach as a crushing sadness settled on my already breaking heart. 

             
Dawn.  The sun crept its way across the floor of my bedroom when I came to.  I laid there motionless for a good twenty minutes before attempting any activity.  Between the reverie, the shared memory, and a serious lack of sleep; I was suffering from information and emotional overload.  I was afraid that any sudden movements would result in a catastrophic breakdown; one that I may or may not recover from in the next century.  I contemplated whether or not ‘irrevocable neurosis’ would be an approved excuse to miss classes. 

             
“Stasia?”

             
Crap. “Yeah?” I answered casually, as if I had no idea why Willow was at my door ten minutes before first period was supposed to start.

             
“You coming to class?” She poked her head in the door and raised an eyebrow at my position on the bed.  I mean, who didn’t sleep sideways with no pillow and their legs hanging off the side?  It was actually pretty comfortable once I started to think about it.  Maybe a soft blanket would be-

             
“Stasia,” she prompted again.  I slowly sat up, feeling numb and detached.  I nodded my head for no particular reason.

             
“Be there in a sec,” I promised, without making any movement toward my closet. 

             
“Um..okay,” she hesitated and disappeared back into the living room.  I peered down at my wrinkled t-shirt and cotton shorts.  These would not do.  I spotted a less wrinkled pair of jean shorts and a mostly folded yellow tee sitting on top of my dresser.  Without fixing my hair or so much as peeking in the mirror, I threw on some flip flops and headed for the door.

             
“Books?” Willow stared at me bleakly.  I turned around with the liveliness of a zombie and stalked back to my room in order to collect my books. The rest of the day went much the same way.  My feet took my body where it was supposed to go, as my mind dragged behind; kicking and screaming the entire time. However, the closer I got to last period…and to seeing Finn; my expertly suppressed emotions started to fight their way outward.  My walls were not as thick around him, and although I could pretend to be strong sometimes, I didn’t know if I was capable of hiding what lurked behind my walls today.  This was foreign territory to me.  I wasn’t used to having someone who could break down my walls.  Or having someone who wanted to break down my walls.  In all actuality, I wanted to run to him; allow him to hold me, support me, and give me a shoulder to cry on. Unfortunately, suffering a mental breakdown in front of the entire class was not an option.  So the massive amount of conflicting emotions that were swirling around in my mind and wreaking havoc on my thoughts would have to wait.  One hour. I told myself I could do it.  I had to.

             
As I walked into the classroom and met his warm gaze, I swear I heard my carefully constructed walls cracking from the pressure.  I wanted to tell him about my disturbing reverie.  I wanted to tell him about my amazing antiquity experience.  I wanted to tell him that I suspected Nadia could enter my reveries.  I wanted to tell him I’d made friends with a dead girl.  I wanted to tell him I was terrified of my upcoming journey.  I wanted to tell him I was terrified of his upcoming fight.  And I needed to find out what, if anything, he was hiding from me. My next step coincided with the disheartening realization that my walls were not going to hold.  As the first piece crumbled, followed by another and another, Finn’s eyes darkened with concern and his entire body tensed.  I stopped mid-step, turned on my heel, and ran. 

             
Thankfully, my seaweed and coconut milk diet had indeed helped my body to become stronger and more agile.  I made it to the beach in no time, and I wasn’t even winded.  I didn’t stop until my feet hit sand, and once they did, I noticed it.  Almost…an acknowledgement.  Very similar to what I had felt in the garden on Shackleford Banks.  I
felt
everything around me
perk up at my appearance.  The sand beneath my feet danced slightly with each step I took, as if celebrating my arrival.  The sea grass growing out of the sand dunes bent ever so slightly in my direction, and the waves reached farther up the beach in my immediate vicinity.  I felt…welcomed.  Intrigued, I slowly sat down and watched the sand dance beneath my touch.  The emotions still coursing through me seemed to drain out, as if the sand was feeding off of it.  I closed my eyes and ran my fingertips over the top of the sand, trying not to smile as it tickled my legs; dancing and shifting slightly.  I could feel a different kind of energy flowing up my arms and throughout my body.  It filled me with the reassurance and acceptance that I desperately needed. 

             
I lazily opened my eyes and gazed longingly at the rolling waves. I stood as my feet automatically began to move in their direction.  Although I knew it was only salty ocean water, it felt like slipping into a relaxing Jacuzzi filled with silky body wash and soothing bubbles.  As each wave crashed into me, I drug my fingers over the top of the water and began to hear it. 

             
The ocean’s song; greeting me, calling me.  The beautiful melody filled my ears and soothed my heart.  Once again, I felt the raw pile of emotions loosening and slipping away from me; replaced by a calm so peaceful, it didn’t seem real.  I gently slipped beneath the water and began to swim.  The song faded, but the feeling remained.  The more I swam the lighter I felt.  The more water my lungs inhaled, the more detached I felt from the world above.  It was so freeing, I didn’t want to stop.  I could have swum to Bermuda if I’d be so inclined, but the search party would have a hard time finding me.  Instead, I swam along the shore; eventually circling the entire island. Fish of all sizes, shapes and colors would swim alongside me for several meters, before darting away and disappearing into the blue. 

             
The fact that I was not fatigued whatsoever was astonishing to me.  I just swam
around
an island.  I also began to notice that underneath the water I had an incredible sense of direction, without even thinking about it.  I could feel north.  And therefore, every other direction fell into place.  I could feel the presence of the shore to my left as well as the vast expanse of the deep ocean to my right.  My trace was shimmering a beautiful light blue, and for the first time that day I felt like everything was going to be okay.  After I stopped swimming, I felt the pulsing warmth of the multiple pieces of aquamarine and onyx jewelry I was wearing, and I observed with reverence as they seemed to come alive beneath the water.

             
I had no idea how long I had hidden in the ocean, but for the first time I felt strong enough to go back and face all that awaited me.  I silently thanked the ocean for opening its arms to me, and then headed back.  As I reached the breakers, I paused.  This feeling was definitely new.  I could sense a very strong presence.  Darkness.  His darkness. 

              He was sitting on the beach; distracted by something he was currently drawing in the sand.  His gray shorts and simple white shirt contrasted with his dark features, which had my pulse quickening and spiking erratically.  Although his eyes were downcast, I found myself anticipating the effect that their depth and intensity had on me.  As I walked out from the waves and up the beach, his hand paused for a split second before erasing his artwork.  The darkness I had sensed before suddenly reached out to me and wrapped me in a cocoon of soft caresses.  Finn met my surprised gaze with a devilish grin as he leaned back on his arms; taking a long moment to look me over. Standing before him dripping wet, I suddenly became highly aware of the soaked fabric clinging to my skin as well as the inordinate amount of jewelry I was wearing, but there was a slight chance my just-swam-in-the-ocean hair was an upgrade from my earlier just-rolled-out-of-bed hair.  So I had that going for me.

             
“Better?” he asked knowingly.

             
That one word held such a variety of meanings, I wasn’t sure of how to answer.  Did I feel better after swimming in the ocean?  Yes. Did I feel better after finding him patiently waiting for me on the beach?  Definitely.  Did I feel better about almost having a nervous breakdown in class?  Not in the slightest.  Two out of three wasn’t too bad.

             
“Much,” I responded simply, putting my hands on my hips and lifting a suspicious eyebrow. “How’d you know I was out there?”

             
“Lucky guess,” he shrugged his shoulders, but the twinkle in his eye told me different.

             
“You were stalking me, weren’t you?” I teased him.

             
“Only on Tuesdays,” his grin widened. “Actually, I just followed the path of destruction you left in your wake.  Brought me right to you.” I could tell he was suppressing laughter.

             
“You better be joking.”

             
“I wish I was.  See for yourself.”  I held my breath and glanced up the beach where I had found my way to the beach earlier.  It was as if someone had walked onto the beach and down the sand holding a leaf blower.  The sand was blasted outwards in a two foot path all the way to the spot I had sat down on; which was just a larger extension of my path.  Then it extended all the way down to the ocean.  My eyes widened as I caught sight of the sand dunes, which had literally shifted away from my footsteps. 

             
“Like a bull in a china shop.” Finn commenced to laughing so hard, he had to bend over to catch his breath.  I had no idea my emotions had that much effect on the things around me.  An image of Phoebe’s feet creating ripples in the sand when she was upset after the séance flashed before my eyes. 

             
I crossed my arms and glared at him, “Go ahead.  Laugh it up.  But I’m not the one with sand all over me.” 

             
He looked up, confused, as I made a circle around him in the sand with my eyes.  I pushed my emotions down my legs and into the sand, lifting it above him and letting it shower down on his head.  Unfortunately, he immediately disappeared and the sand simply poured off of the cloak he had hidden himself under.  He appeared again; completely sand free.  Damn.  He slowly got to his feet, his features turning sinister.  His eyes became stormy, while he slowly stepped closer to me; watching me with a steady, dark gaze.  If I hadn’t known he was joking, I would have been terrified.  He was absolutely the most intimidating, menacing thing I’d ever seen.  And the sexiest.   

             
“Are you sure you really want to mess with the Son of Darkness?” he said in a low, threatening voice, moving closer to me.  My body warmed, my legs turned wobbly and my thoughts began to scramble beneath his stare.  I squared my shoulders and steeled my own gaze.

             
“Are you sure you really want to mess with a future Sea Goddess?” I threw back at him with as much antagonism as I could muster.

             
A nefarious smile cracked his armor and he cocked his head to the side, “More than anything.” I fought back a smile of my own, but my lips betrayed me and my heart fluttered against my will. 

             
“Then let’s see what you got, Son of
Darkness
,” I taunted him, already coming up with my next plan of attack.  Before I had time to think about it, he was inches away from my body.  I stared up at him just as he bent his head down. His lips halted so close to mine that I could feel the heat coming off of them.  His eyes were boring into mine with a repose that erased everything around me except for him. Caught in his gaze and presence, I had no defenses against this.  And he knew it. 

             
His warm hand settled on my hip, deliberately sliding around to my lower back.  A light smirk played at his lips as he pulled me against him in one swift movement.  I strove to remain indifferent, but I wasn’t kidding anybody.  Every cell in my body was sizzling with the onslaught of his touch.  I bit my lip to try and get my focus back, but it only brought my attention to his lips so close to mine.  He bent down, barely brushing his lips across my collarbone.  His breath tickled my skin and sent shivers down my spine.  I closed my eyes and resisted the overpowering urge to react when his almost-kiss crawled up my neck and hovered over my ear.  His breath was now coming slightly faster and he held me to him tightly.  Again, I willed myself not to show him the affect he was having on me.  He straightened; instantly releasing my ear and neck from his torturous closeness.  The absence of his warm breath left a longing even stronger than its presence. 

             
I opened my eyes and was instantly caught in his powerful stare.  I could see the yearning behind his hooded eyes and I stilled all the muscles in my face to make sure he couldn’t read it.  His eyes flitted down to my lips and back to my eyes.  I raised my eyebrows ever so slightly.

             
“Not bad,” I attempted sarcasm, but it came out as more of a breathless whisper. “What’s your next move, dark Son?” Desperation washed over his features and his dark blue eyes reflected his desire.

             
“Surrender,” he breathed. His lips were on mine in a split second and all restraint was erased, replaced with the raging fire that was always simmering below the surface any time he was near.  Wet clothes and hair forgotten; the only thing I could feel was him.  The darkness that I felt earlier once again surrounded me in its arms, enveloping me in a warm cocoon of pleasure.  I broke our kiss in surprise and looked up at him with delight.

             
“Before, I could only sense your darkness.  Now I can
feel
it too,” I smiled.

             
“I can feel you too,” he grinned, as he brushed his thumb over my cheek and held me against him.

             
“You can?”  Why was I just now finding this out?  A million questions zipped through my mind. “What does it feel like?  Can you always feel it?  If yours is darkness, then what is mine?”

             
He chuckled at my litany of questions, “I’m not sure what it is, although I imagine it has something to do with the sea, but it’s like a wave crashing over me; refreshing and powerful all at the same time.”

             
“Have you always been able to feel it?”

             
“Yes, but it’s gotten stronger.  I’ve been able to feel your presence from farther and farther away.  It’s the real way I found you today.”

             
“So you were stalking me…” I teased him.  His smug grin was my immediate answer; proving he wasn’t embarrassed in the least.

             
“I was worried about you,” he grasped both my hands and watched me with concern, “What happened earlier?”

             
My eyes dropped to my feet; trying to figure out where to start.  He mistook my body language as insecurity.  “Why don’t we go back to my suite to talk and get you dried off; my roommates went to the mainland so we’ll be alone for a while.”

             
“Are you sure?” I had to admit, I was extremely curious to see what his room looked like; the one place he spent the most time in.  I felt myself begin to blush.  If he noticed, he didn’t mention it.

             
“Of course,” he confirmed lightly.

             
We made our way to Rostrum, directly beside Maren.  I wasn’t sure what to expect out of a guys dorm - maybe a little plainer?  Dirtier?  I mean they
were
guys after all.  But I was pleasantly surprised.  It was identical to Maren with the exception of the décor.  Dark brown tones mixed with white and tan created a soothing ambiance in the lobby, and decorated the framed abstract art on the walls.  We rode the elevator to the eighth floor, stepped out into a hallway that resembled the ones at Maren, and stopped at an unassuming dark brown door.  Finn searched his pockets for the key, unlocked the door and swiftly swung it open for me.   

             
As I had suspected, the layout of the guys’ suites were exactly the same as Maren’s, but that was where the similarities ended.  Finn and his roommates had made several additions.  Huge overflowing dark brown leather couches filled the living room to capacity.  A foosball table took the place of a dining room table, and a massive flat screen television almost covered the entire left wall.  It didn’t smell of old gym socks or week-old dirty plates as I had expected, either.  It had sort of a clean linen smell; the Glade Plug-ins in the kitchen and living room telling me why.  I smiled at the image of a couple guys trying to figure out how to install the refills. 

             
“Thirsty?  Hungry?” Finn asked off-handedly; peeking around the stainless steel refrigerator door.

             
“Something to drink would be awesome.” He produced two bottles of Aquafina and I followed him to what would be Phoebe’s room back in my suite.  I’d never been in a guy’s bedroom either, so I was very inquisitive.  Not to mention that something about being in Finn’s personal space made me feel giddy. 

             
He pushed open the door for me and quickly disappeared into the bathroom.  An obvious extension of himself, his bedroom instantly captivated me.  It was dark but cozy, with an air of stature.  The window on the far wall was hidden by dark gray curtains; shading the room from the harsh, glaring sun outside.  A dark gray bedspread covered the queen size bed, while two lamps on either side bathed the room in a warm light.  A massive black and white painting above the bed boasted an artistic rendering of a skull and crossbones. Oddly enough, it wasn’t creepy or imposing.  It was actually kind of…pretty.  Two long surf boards stood propped up on the opposite wall next to a flat screen television and a tall dark wooden dresser.  Displayed on the wall above the dresser were four double axes of different sizes. 

             
“Here’s a dry towel,” Finn handed me a fluffy light gray towel that I immediately wrapped around my body.  The normally refreshing air conditioning was causing goose bumps to rise on my skin.  He grabbed a white t-shirt that read ‘Morrison’ on the back above a big number three, and a pair of black gym shorts from his dresser.  “These should work while we get your clothes dry.”

             
After he left the room, I peeled off my wet clothes and dried off before pulling on his t-shirt and gym shorts.  I rolled down the waistband in an attempt to make them fit better, collected my clothes, and gave them to Finn so that he could toss them in the dryer.  Several minutes later, we were relaxing on his bed watching reruns of CSI Miami.  For some reason I could never get enough of Horatio, who could figure out that the killer was a twenty-five year old Caucasian male with green eyes and an addiction to cocaine from a simple piece of scrap metal.  After another one of his cheesy one-liners, it cut to commercial and Finn sat up. 

             
“So, what happened today?” he prompted me gently.  I sighed and propped myself up on my elbows; allowing myself to be captured by his endearing concern.  The whole confiding-in-others-thing was still relatively new to me.  A hazy cloud fell over my heart as I began to re-hash the events of the last twenty four hours.  After divulging the details of encountering Nadia and her ghostly camouflage in my reverie, Bianca’s visit, and my second antiquity experience, he shook his head with chagrin and frowned.

             
“I wish you would have told me all of this sooner.  It’s exhausting to keep it all inside like that.” He reached for my hand, “That’s what I’m here for.”

             
“I guess I’m just used to keeping my abnormal problems to myself.  I wouldn’t want to put that burden on anyone else.  Especially not you.”

             
He laughed and rubbed his finger over my trace, sending tingles up my arm. “Neither you nor your abnormal problems could ever be a burden to me.  Plus, I happen to have a masters degree in abnormal,” he smirked at me.

             
“There’s one more thing,” I began, really not looking forward to rehashing my most recent reverie involving Priscilla and Nadia. “I purposefully had a reverie...and I found Nadia.”