Awake (3 page)

“Better,” I answer hesitantly. Not sure what to say, I pick up my fork and begin to eat my breakfast. The flavors burst on my tongue and warm my insides. I have definitely missed cooked food.

“Wonderful. I'm sure it will only be a matter of time before you are completely healed and up to your true abilities once again.” She smiles broadly at me and begins to eat, as well.

“Yes. I am sure you are right,” I mumble distractedly around a mouthful of juicy grapes.

The queen and I both eat in compatible silence, the peace and quiet refreshing for now. There are no servants running around, nor any guards watching over me. It is a nice change from the past few days. Neither one of us speaks until our meals are finished, the queen being the one who breaks the silence.

“How is your room, Poppy?”

My gaze sharpens on her at the trace of unease I think I hear in her voice. However, she is looking at her plate, not at me, so I brush the thought aside and answer her. “I actually like my quarters a lot. The bed is very comfortable, and the sheets are heavenly. The fresh flowers are unnecessary, but I do enjoy them. I am sorry I cannot wear the dresses, though. I do not mean to offend, but I prefer to wear my battle clothes.”

“It's fine, Poppy. I'm not insulted. Maybe in time you will change your mind.”

My eyes narrow. “In time? How long…” I begin to ask her how long she plans for me to be her ‘guest,' but she cuts me off.

“What do you think of the mural on your ceiling? Have you noticed it?” She changes the subject with no issues.

“Oh yes!” I say enthusiastically, forgetting my earlier thoughts. “The painting on my ceiling has been one of the things I look forward to each day. I wake up gazing at it and fall asleep every night after studying it. I find I am rather fond of the painting. But who is the little girl?” I freeze as a horrible thought crosses my mind. Looking up sharply at the queen, I demand without apology, “She's not a prisoner, is she?”

“Oh dear, no!” I relax when she answers. Something about the child touches me, and the thought of her being alive in the painting made me angry. “No, Poppy. I am sorry to have given you the wrong impression from our earlier conversation. I thought I made it clear that not all of my paintings are for those purposes. Especially the murals throughout the castle, like the one in my throne room and the one in your room. Those painting are special to me. They were done quite a few years ago of someone that was…
is
very special to me.” I note the sadness in her eyes and the wistful tone in her voice.

“Good," I say quietly. I know my opinion probably does not matter to the queen but the idea of a little girl being held captive in a painting, even if she does appear to be having a wonderful time, did not sit well with me.

“I understand and vow that's not the case,” she reassures me. Reassurances like this are what confuse me so much about the queen. I am a warrior fae from the unseelie court. Not only did I fight against her people, but I captured one of her warriors with the intention of turning her over to the king. The queen should be punishing me as my king would have undoubtedly done to Holly if I had been able to turn her over to him. He would have tortured her for all of the information he could gain, then killed her and sent her head to the queen. The fact that this has not been done to me is baffling.

I am distracted once again by another of her odd questions: “And what do you think of my court, Poppy? I am aware of how different we are here from what you are used to, but I hope you are finding our home pleasant.”

She sounds genuinely interested in my opinion, and so I decide to be honest. “Yes, your court is different from the unseelie court. I have not yet decided what I think of it, though.”

“Yes, I can see how that may be the case. I hope in time you will find it to your liking.” She hints once again to the idea of a lengthy stay.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could tell me how long you plan for me to be here.”

“Oh, you cannot be ready to return yet. I can't tell you how happy I am you decided to join me for breakfast today, Poppy. It has been most pleasant talking with you, but I wish to find out all I can about you. I wouldn't be able to do so if you left so soon,” she says with a laugh, a laugh I do not mirror.

I think I finally realize what is going on. She wishes to interrogate me about the unseelie court and learn their secrets by befriending me. I sit up straighter and look directly into her eyes, ignoring the immediate feeling of familiarity the color of her eyes sparks within me, and speak bluntly. “I will not become a traitor to my court, Queen Lily. If this is what you wish, it will save both of us time if you place me in one of your paintings now. I am loyal to my home and to those I care about. I would rather die than betray that loyalty.”

The queen straightens as well, looking back at me as the smile slips from her face. She does not speak right away, but instead studies me intently. After a few moments, a new smile plays at the corner of her lips. I twitch with aggravation at the idea of her playing games with me. How could she find anything I said amusing? “You do a great job of catching me by surprise, Poppy. Your fighting abilities are equal to warriors much older and more experienced than yourself. Your resilience and capability to heal from a near fatal wound astonished me. There is a fire inside of you. Your fierce desire for loyalty and honor are unmatched perhaps even by those who live in my court.”

She is quiet once again as she studies me. I am quiet as well, shocked into silence by her words. The unsolicited praise she has given me has left me speechless. However, I quickly find I can no longer hold my silence over my confusion. “I am sorry, Queen Lily, but I am not sure I understand.” I frown at the smile that is still on her face—a smile portraying complete joy combined with eyes shining bright with a look I am not familiar with.

“Of course you don't, my child. How could you?” She answers my question, but I can see she is speaking more to herself than to me.

Something about her behavior and soft voice triggers a memory, a memory that struggles to surface as I reach deep to grab hold of it. I am concentrating so hard I do not hear the queen speak until she calls my name much louder than would usually be necessary, snapping my connection with the evasive memory.

“Oh, I am sorry, Queen Lily. What were you saying?” I ask, shaking my head clear of those other feelings.

“I was apologizing. I believe you misunderstood me. You aren't here because I wish to learn about the unseelie court or your king. Actually, I know quite enough about all of that for now. And if I wish to find out more, one of my guards will take care of all that nonsense.” She waves her hand dismissively. “No, I wish to learn about
you,
Poppy. I'd like to know about your training, your friends, and your childhood." She says, her eyes glowing with excitement, her words picking up speed as she continues, "I want to know what you like and what you don't like, what your favorite things are, just everything! I wish to know everything about you!” she says as she claps her hands in front of her like a small child.

I feel my eyebrows draw together in complete confusion as I ask, “But why? I do not understand. If you do not wish to use me as a source of information to overthrow the king, what could your interest in me possibly be?”

She looks at me as if carefully deciding the words she will choose next. Just as she opens her mouth to speak, the kitchen door flies open with a bang. Startled, I jump in my chair before automatically reaching for my daggers, but they are absent. This reminds me once again of the original task I had set out on this morning: my wish to begin training with my weapons. The queen's odd questioning and interest in my feelings sidetracked me and made me forget to ask her my question, and now I am distracted once again by the new presence in the room.

Holly is standing inside of the doorway, staring at me with narrowed eyes and a smirk on her face. She obviously noticed how I was startled by the door banging open and at my lack of weapons.

I let a smirk play at my lips as well. My weapons may be absent, but I do not need them. Confident in my skills, I slowly stand up as the adrenaline begins to course through my body and I realize I am looking forward to this. She had tried to kill me, and I have no doubt she would try again if the queen were not stopping her. I have no intention of giving her the chance. Looking her up and down, I see she is equally prepared to fight. Her hands are balled at her hips, and her features are sharper and fiercer than they usually are when she is relaxed and not preparing for a fight. Her lips are pulled back in a snarl showing gleaming, white, sharp teeth. Anger darkens her eyes, and her hair flows around her shoulders down to her waist as if an invisible wind has caught it. I shake my head at this. She still has not learned to pull her hair back, her vanity still getting the best of her.

She sneers at me, but addresses the queen. “What is
she
doing here?”

Before the queen can speak, I do. “Why I am here is no concern of yours, however, I do think it is a good time to finish what we started.” Although Holly may not have been the one to issue the near fatal wound I received, it was not for a lack of trying. This is something I have not forgotten. In my wandering of the court, I have kept an eye out for her, but have never seen her. Now that we are finally close enough to do something about our absolute hatred of one another, I do not intend to miss the opportunity.

“Gladly. You should've died in the last fight you had, but I have no problem being the one to kill you now.” She takes a threatening step toward me but stops when the queen speaks.

“Holly, have we not spoken about this?” the queen's voice holds the tone of a mother scolding a small child for stealing cookies from the cookie jar.

“Yes, My Queen, we have, but you can't expect me to step down from a challenge.”

“Yes, Holly, I can.”

“Well, I'm sorry, My Queen, but I can't respect your wishes.”

“Then you shall suffer the consequences,” she says calmly, but I recognize the threat in her voice. Holly must have as well, because she immediately takes her eyes off me and focuses on the queen.

Holly shakes her head and blinks her eyes as if she were just waking up. She drops to one knee and bows her head before speaking. “Forgive me, My Queen. You are correct. I accept whatever punishment you deem fit for my refusal to obey orders and for my disrespect.”

“Leave us now and return to your quarters. I told Willow I wanted to see you in one hour, I will send for you when I am ready and we will discuss it then.”

“Yes, My Queen.” Holly stands but keeps her head bowed and does not lift her eyes from the floor. She makes her way back out of the dining hall, the door closing quietly behind her.

I turn to the queen, still ready for a fight, and I demand, “Why did you stop us? Why are you preventing her from fighting me? I assure you, in the unseelie court, this would be handled with hand-to-hand combat. To the death.”

“I'm sorry, Poppy, but I have my reasons for not allowing Holly to fight with you. Even if you challenge her as you did just now, she is under direct orders not to harm you in any way. I do not wish for you two to fight. Therefore, it will not happen.” By the tone of her voice, the conversation is over. “So,” she continues more pleasantly, “I'm aware that you joined me this morning with ulterior motives. Maybe this is the time to discuss them.”

I begin to open my mouth to make more demands but see the look in her eyes: I will make no demands. If I want to get anything out of this, I must respect her and ask for her permission. Taking a deep breath, I sit back down in my chair.

I gather my thoughts before speaking. “I seek your permission to begin battle training once again. I know it may make you uncomfortable, but I do not feel my body will return to its full capacity if I am unable to exercise.”

The queen studies me for a moment while thinking. She finally nods before saying, “As you wish. You may begin training this afternoon. I know who the perfect training partner will be for you—Gideon. He's one of my best, and he's young like you, which should provide an even match.” She smiles slyly at me and finishes, “He's also quite handsome.” Then she winks at me.

I stop myself from rolling my eyes at her attempt at matchmaking. “I assure you, Queen Lily, I have no interest in this trainer of yours, other than for training.” I pause, hoping she will believe me. “Thank you for this, but I have one other favor to ask.”

“Yes?”

“I would like my daggers back.” Then I quickly add, “I would be uncomfortable with anything else.”

“Okay. Willow will get them for you and bring them to your room. She will then escort you to the training room where Gideon will be waiting for you.”

With that, she rises from her seat and exits the dining hall. The servants sweep in after her and begin bustling around the table. They clear it completely and reset it with fresh linens, dishes, and flowers before I am able to snap out of my daze. The queen has not only given me permission to train, but she has also given me my weapons back and seems to be trying to set me up with one of her warriors. I shake my head at the utter nonsense of the whole situation as I stand then exit the dining room. As I head to my room, I can only hope Willow will be able to provide some sort of insight into this bizarre situation.